Friends in the workplace – Yes or No

Posted on July 8, 2022 by memoriesandsuch

Friendships are beautiful and a good friend with whom you can vent and share problems and who listens without judging is invaluable. A workplace on the other hand is one which for many is fraught with pitfalls and because it’s a place where we spend the majority of our time, having a friend there may be good. But is having a work buddy something that one cultivates? Given the time we spend at work, it is inevitable that some sort of friendships at work will be formed.

It’s very natural to look for friends at work, and it’s necessary for professional success. Since we spend most of our time at work, and if we don’t like the people we work with, getting through the day becomes even more difficult. Happier and more productive days will happen if we enjoy the company of our colleagues. Workplace friends improve the good days and make the poor ones bearable. While being social at work will help raise morale and satisfaction, one must also set limits with friendly colleagues.

There’s a lot of evidence that workplace friendships fulfil a basic human need for companionship, and are necessary to some degree. Research has found that it can even fuel greater job satisfaction: In a survey of more than 195,600 employees in the U.S., Gallup found that 20% of them said they had a best friend at work. This was also the group that reported being most engaged and committed to their jobs. But workplace friendships can be tricky, especially between managers and employees, or senior and junior employees. In that scenario, there’s always going to be a power dynamic in play.

While being social can help boost morale and happiness on the job, one needs to set boundaries. Instead of striving for friendships at work, it’s better to be friendly with coworkers, according to some experts who say that ith professional relationships, one can grab coffee or lunch, but not necessarily invite them home for a barbecue or special family events.

Today’s workplace is different from a few years ago with remote work and social distancing making workplace interactions more difficult. Without meeting colleagues and co-working face-to-face, having close friendships will be slim and making work friends will mean an extra effort.

Having a good friend at work one can confide in and commiserate with can be a blessing and while work friendships can be a boon, they can also be a bust. The truth is that many of the work friends we have will end when the job ends. You may keep in touch for a couple of years or so, but over time, you tend to drift apart, because the biggest binder between the two, the company or organisation no longer exists. But there may be a few work friends who transcend the organisation to become true friends, but this is rare and quite far between.

A 2014 Globoforce survey found that people with workplace friendships are nearly three times more likely to say that they love their companies and two times less likely to be poached by another company. But in the throes of a new work friendship, sometimes it’s easier to forget that a work friend is a colleague first and a friend second. So one has to be a bit more careful about what is shared with them as it may come to bite you from behind.

So if you are making work friends or have friends in the workplace, here are some tips on how to deal with them.

Be mindful of oversharing – You may have to share personal information to make friends at work, but you should proceed with more caution than you would for non-work friendships. Remember to always keep it professional and respectful. Share on a need to know basis and be vague. Don’t be dismissive also but keep it professional. Sharing needs to be very nuanced and balanced because on one hand, forging deeper, more intimate relationships requires self-disclosure and vulnerability; on the other hand, if a work friendship spirals downward, the person can use personal or sensitive information against you. Whatever one shares with work friends, make sure you never dislose information that can create animosity, that is stigmatized, or that could get you fired.

Be mindful of the office hierarchy – Be very careful and know that at the end of the day, your boss or your manager is still in charge. Even if your workplace is very laid-back and your manager your age or even younger, they are still the boss and enforce workplace standards. You can be friendly with your manager or someone who manages but be careful about how your friendship affects your professional relationship and how it may be perceived by coworkers. Make sure that others don’t worry that there’s favouritism at play no matter how equitable things are.

Be mindful about confidentiality – You need to be careful about sharing anything with work friends that you’d like to keep secret from your boss. Even if a colleague assures you of their confidentiality, they may and in most cases will reveal your information if someone asks them or if they have a bone to pick with you at a later stage. Before sharing something with a coworker, ask yourself how much would you want others to know and only share what can be freely shared with everyone. And don’t ever write down anything that you don’t want to be saved for posterity. Remember, what happens on the internet, stays in the internet.

Be mindful about resolving disagreements – In every friendship, disagreements happen, but one should not let personal disagreement mess up professional relationships. Having negative relationships with co-workers is a huge predictor of quitting a job and these relationships can be distracting and de-motivating. So if a work friendship is on the rocks, handle it as calmly and professionally as possible, so you can either salvage the friendship or move on calmly, so it doesn’t impact your work life. Identify the source of the conflict and resolve it professionally. Do not spread gossip or rumors, do not try to get coworkers on your side, or cast your friend in a negative light with a supervisor.

Now that we’ve established how to deal with workplace friendships, let’s see what are their benefits. The benefits of work friends go far beyond having someone who is always willing to loan you their stapler. Research shows that employees who get super close with their co-workers are happier at work, more engaged, better with clients, do better work, and are less injury-prone. A Gallup reports that those without a best friend in the workplace have just a 1-in-12 chance of being engaged. When you find the right balance between personal and professional, you reap the rewards of friendships at work.

Finding a colleague you can be close with means having a go-to person to ask for advice and help. It can be less intimidating to ask a colleague for assistance than to run to your boss every time a minor issue crops up. This is an easy way to reduce the learning curve and get up to speed quickly in a new role. It also means having someone to chat with during the day. Companionship makes the work day pass faster. Having a friend you can gab with means you’ll even look forward to coming to the office. A work friend also increases a greater knowledge of the business and opportunities. If either of you leaves your job, you can be a reference to the other. Also, when both of you move on to different roles, your friendship can progress like a natural friendship, and/or you can keep an eye out for opportunities for one another.

Having friends at work can increase job satisfaction, performance, and productivity, research shows. But it should be treated with care and not become too close with colleagues. According to Gallup, getting a job BFF is one of the most significant factors in employee engagement and satisfaction. There is a concrete link between having a best friend at work, and the effort employees expend in their job. Those who have a best friend at work are seven times as likely to be engaged in their jobs, are better at engaging customers, produce higher quality work, have higher well-being, and are less likely to get injured on the job. Women who strongly agree they have a best friend at work are more than twice as likely to be engaged compared with the women who say otherwise.

According to Gallup, women who firmly believe they have a best friend at work are less likely to be actively searching for or monitoring job openings, are more associated with their colleagues, respect what is expected of them, and trust their honesty and ethics and are less likely to record a negative daytime experience, such as workplace stress or feeling tired.

Linkedin said having a friend at work boosts employee satisfaction, employee motivation, and productivity, particularly among your younger employees the ages between 18 and 24 as socialising and friendships are critical for moving up the career ladder, according to 1/3 of Millennials. They also found out that 51% of staff maintain contact with former coworkers, resulting in boomerang employees or increased turnover in poor environments.

When you form friendships with colleagues outside of your immediate teams or department, it pens up to sides of the business you wouldn’t normally be able to access. This can help create a more comprehensive understanding of what the company is working towards, and how other departments operate, reveal some of the organisation’s pain points, and help an organisation’s people grow by learning about and appreciating each other’s experiences.

Unfortunately, not everyone wants to be friends with their coworkers, especially in super-competitive work environments. Some people will use even the slightest tidbit of information to get ahead, so before you begin to share important or personal details with someone, make sure you trust them implicitly. Similarly, social media is not an aspect of your life that you should share with everyone. While in the beginning stages of any work relationship or collaboration, you may not want to give a person access to your Facebook or Twitter pages. You should connect with colleagues on LinkedIn, however. The site was built for professional affiliations, so it would be more than wise to add a colleague, but hold off on giving colleagues access to any site that may house personal or social information. Oversharing details of your personal life and finances can come back to haunt you. Sharing personal details with a colleague who you thought had your back can also damage your career prospects if those details are used against you. Many companies are hierarchical, and when it comes to promotions or project assignments, close friendships can sometimes cause friction.

Friendships at work get even trickier for managers and their subordinates. Managers would not want to make it seem like they are giving one person an advantage or a pass for bad behaviour. Being considered too close with a coworker can reflect negatively on you if your friend isn’t viewed in high regard. You may be tarred by association and hurt assignment and project prospects, or prevent you from being included in confidential news if your peers fear it might be leaked to an untrusted colleague. When a work friend starts venting out too much, you run the risk of getting stuck in a negative cycle. Co-ruminating is the process by which friends repeatedly go over a difficult event or emotion. It brings us together and increases friendship satisfaction, but also decreases well being, kicks up a level of depression and anxiety. You need to watch out for that.”

Employee retention is more critical than ever. Another pandemic side effect has been what analysts call the Great Resignation, which in August 2021 saw 4.3 million workers quit their jobs. Even as the unemployment rate starts to even out, worker attitudes have shifted, and money isn’t enough to keep employees anymore.

Having friends at work can be the bright spot of your workday—as long as you take the proper precautions. Making friends at work is easy, and mostly good for you. Compartmentalising life into work and not-work is stressful and potentially unhealthy in the long term. By managing friendships in a professional setting properly, one can have more fun at work, learn to relax a little, and begin to learn things about themselves and the organisation they’re a part of.

What are your thoughts on having friends at work? Is it a yay or a nay? I’d love to hear from you, so please comment below.

A VUCA World and how it impacts us

Posted on February 11, 2022 by memoriesandsuch

The past few years have shown us in no uncertain words how volatile our world is. Every week brings new changes and most of us are unable to make any plans because we don’t know what next week will bring us.

This is encapsulated very well in the acronym VUCA which stands for Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous which stands for what our world is today. First used in 1987, the acronym draws on the leadership theories of Warren Bennis and Burt Nanus, to describe or to reflect on the volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity of general conditions and situations. The U.S. Army War College introduced the concept of VUCA to describe the more volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous multilateral world perceived as resulting from the end of the Cold War and more frequent use and discussion of the term VUCA began from 2002. It has subsequently taken root in emerging ideas in strategic leadership that apply in a wide range of organizations, from for-profit corporations to education.

The deeper meaning of each element of VUCA serves to enhance the strategic significance of the VUCA foresight and insight as well as the behaviour of groups and individuals in organisations. It discusses systemic failures and behavioural failures, which are characteristic of organisational failure.

V stands for Volatility which is the nature and dynamics of change, and the nature and speed of change forces and change catalysts. It refers to the speed of change in an industry, market or the world in general. It is associated with fluctuations in demand, turbulence and short time to markets and it is well-documented in the literature on industry dynamism. The more volatile the world is, the more and faster things change.

U is Uncertainty or the lack of predictability, the prospects for surprise, and the sense of awareness and understanding of issues and events. Uncertainty refers to the extent to which we can confidently predict the future. Part of the uncertainty is perceived and associated with people’s inability to understand what is going on. Uncertainty, though, is also a more objective characteristic of an environment. Truly uncertain environments are those that don’t allow any prediction, also not on a statistical basis. The more uncertain the world is, the harder it is to predict.

C means Complexity which is the multiplex of forces, the confounding of issues, no cause-and-effect chain and confusion that surrounds organisations. It refers to the number of factors that we need to take into account, their variety and the relationships between them. The more factors, the greater their variety and the more they are interconnected, the more complex an environment is. Under high complexity, it is impossible to fully analyse the environment and come to rational conclusions. The more complex the world is, the harder it is to analyse.

And lastly, A stands for Ambiguity which encompasses the haziness of reality, the potential for misreads, and the mixed meanings of conditions and the cause-and-effect confusion. These elements present the context in which organizations view their current and future state, present boundaries for planning and policy management and come together in ways that either confound decisions or sharpen the capacity to look, plan and move ahead. It points to a lack of clarity about how to interpret something. A situation is ambiguous, for example, when information is incomplete, contradicting or too inaccurate to draw clear conclusions. More generally it refers to fuzziness and vagueness in ideas and terminology. The more ambiguous the world is, the harder it is to interpret.

The particular meaning and relevance of VUCA often relate to how people view the conditions under which they make decisions, plan forward, manage risks, foster change and solve problems. In general, the premises of VUCA tend to shape an organisation’s capacity to anticipate the issues that shape, understand the consequences of issues and actions, appreciate the interdependence of variables, prepare for alternative realities and challenges and interpret and address relevant opportunities. For most organisations, VUCA is a practical code for awareness and readiness.

So how can we try and navigate a VUCA World? Though it may seem inescapable in certain situations and industries, one can use it to advantage. The key to managing is to break VUCA down into its parts and to identify volatile, uncertain, complex, or ambiguous situations. Each type of situation has its causes and resolutions, so one should aim to deal with one at a time.

Counter volatility with vision. Accept and embrace change as a constant and don’t resist it.
Create a strong, compelling statement of objectives and values, and develop a clear, shared vision of the future. Have flexible goals which can be amended quickly.
Meet uncertainty with understanding which can help understand and develop new ways of thinking and acting in response to VUCA’s elements.
Make investing in, analysing and interpreting business and competitive intelligence a priority, so that one doesn’t fall behind. Stay up to date with industry news, and listen carefully to find out what others want.
Review and evaluate performance. Consider what one did well, what came as a surprise, and what one could do differently next time.
Simulate and experiment with situations, so that one can explore how they might play out, and how one might react to them in the future. Aim to anticipate possible future threats and devise likely responses. Gaming, scenario planning, crisis planning and role-playing are useful tools for generating foresight and preparing responses.
Communicate clearly because in complex situations, clearly expressed communication help to understand direction.
Develop and promote collaboration. VUCA situations are often too complicated for one person to handle, so strong teams that can work effectively in a fast-paced, unpredictable environment is essential.
Fight ambiguity with agility by promoting flexibility, adaptability and agility. Plan, but build in contingency time and be prepared to alter plans as events unfold.
Hire, develop and promote people who thrive in VUCA environments as these people are likely to be collaborative, comfortable with ambiguity and change, and have complex thinking skills.
Encourage people to think and work outside of their usual functional areas, to increase their knowledge and experience. Job rotation and cross-training can be excellent ways to improve agility.
Lead teams, but don’t dictate to or control them, instead develop collaborative environments and work hard to build a consensus. Encourage debate, dissent and participation from everyone.
Embrace an ideas culture. Reward team members who demonstrate vision, understanding, clarity, and agility.

When one is affected by VUCA, one has a choice. Either one allows VUCA to manage, overload and overwhelm them, or they accept and manage it so that they can mitigate its effects. When one decides to accept VUCA, they choose to make themselves and others less vulnerable and empower everyone to deal with uncontrollable, unpredictable forces.

Book Smart or Street Smart

Posted on December 3, 2021 by memoriesandsuch

A topic that has been in my mind for a while now, is the eternal debate between being book smart and street smart and which is better. Book smart is an adjective that refers to the learning or education one gets and describes a person whose knowledge greatly derives from book-learning, as opposed to practical experience, or street smarts. Book smart is knowledge derived from facts, science and communication and is explicit knowledge. Street smart, on the other hand, is procedural or practical knowledge on how to accomplish something. It is often tacit knowledge, which means that it can be difficult to transfer to another person through writing it down or verbalising it.

Someone who is known as being book smart people is usually well-read and often have read the classics, know facts and information that many other people don’t and are usually good at things like trivia games and crossword puzzles. The stereotype of a book-smart person is someone who deals with ordinary but challenging situations, especially bad or difficult ones, only from an intellectual point of view by basing their decisions strictly on available facts, accumulated knowledge, or personal insights primarily obtained from an educational environment. Book smart people are good with exams and academically inclined and enjoy the structure of the learning environment. They believe value lies in knowing things and reading things and are sometimes described as smart dumb people. In fact, in Tamil, there is a term for such people known as Padicha Muttal which means an educated fool

On the other hand, people who are good at dealing with practical life problems have lots of street-smarts. They may not be as educated or read as much as those with book smarts, but they have something just as valuable – the ability to use their experiences in many different situations. They are very aware of their surroundings. The stereotype of a street-smart person is someone who knows how to handle practical situations in everyday life necessary to get things done but is not as inherently educated or gifted academically.

In their most extreme and negative stereotypes, book-smart people are essentially naive, easily manipulated, unfeeling, and display bad judgment in ordinary situations while street-smart people are unintelligent and incapable of achieving higher education, but are more passionate and can usually find an answer to a problem through trial and error.

In my opinion, neither alone is good and a combination of book smarts with a dash of street smartness is what differentiates the wheat from the chaff. A highly educated person should not be derided for the advantages they may have and at the same time, just having a certificate does not prove that they know. Conversely, street-smart people are often demeaned simply because they are classified as those who didn’t have the grades to study at an institute of higher learning. Sometimes they are much smarter than those who are highly qualified.

Politics, power, social dynamics, leadership abilities, professional networks, and social status play a big part in an individual’s ability to succeed in life. To succeed in this environment, a person needs to navigate successfully in an opaque world and make the right decisions. In many situations and, in most industries, with the possible exception of teaching and academia, being book smart but not street smart is a distinct disadvantage. Being street smart doesn’t mean one is uneducated, undereducated or unintelligent and dumb. Being street smart means one is more aware of what is happening around them. They have environmental and situational awareness and can judge a situation so they can react to it accordingly. Street smartness comes from life’s experiences and situations that one would have encountered.

Someone who is only book smart, with low to no street smartness will only have the theoretical aspects of what he or she has learnt, but will not know if the theory works in real life. But, without the foundation of that theory, maybe the practical applications can only go so far. So a combination of both is where you hit that sweet spot. The key to success in the workplace and, in all aspects of life, is to have some, actually quite a bit of street smartness. With only book knowledge, when an individual enters the real world, the going is get tough. In these situations, those with street smarts are ready to fight and defend themselves because they have prepared themselves for these moments. This is where their expertise comes into play. They have the world experience, which trumps the book smarts word experience every single time. They have life skills, which trumps the abstract learning of those with bookish knowledge and they know and understand their environment and who is in it.

For someone who is not very street smart, and I count myself in this, here are some good tips to increase your confidence levels.

Recognise your faults and use setbacks to learn and grow. Get in there, the environment you want to succeed in and immerse yourself in it. Get involved with all the nitty-gritty of the work you are doing and be completely hands-on. Learn from mistakes and make sure every experience, whether positive or negative, teaches you something, even if it is what not to do. Doing so will make you more accustomed, more comfortable, and more aware of your world. Also, learn to look for opportunities that are everywhere, but need a keen eye to spot. Acknowledge that people are different and so keep track of their biases, consciously put them aside and judge each person on their merit. That will make you more effective at evaluating people. Choose what feels most certain rather than what’s most logical. And this is something I struggle with, I feel some decisions, and then my logical brain takes over and I change my decision which more often than not backfires. If something is too perfect, too simple, then it’s probably not right, you need to prod and find out more. Everything you do, keep an eye on the future and not just be in the present. A street-smart person puts aside the primal pull of scarcity and assesses value based on utility. In some cases, they may even profit off of other people’s obsession with scarcity.

Become more aware, detach yourself from your emotions because emotions lead to poor decision-making skills, slow down your thinking and become more deliberate using logic which allows seeing through manipulative efforts to choose what’s best for you rather than what feels emotionally satisfying will make you more street smart, even if you are not one now.

Mondays: Dread or Look forward to?

Posted on November 29, 2021 by memoriesandsuch

Every Monday morning, across the world, scores of people wake up with a sense of dread. The Monday morning blues refer to a kind of mild depression people feel when it’s time to go back to work or school. They wake up with no enthusiasm for the day and in fact, dread the day.

The term Monday Blues describe a set of negative emotions that many people get at the beginning of the workweek if they’re not happy at work. It contains elements of depression, tiredness, hopelessness and a sense that work is unpleasant but unavoidable. Monday morning blues need not only happen on a Monday, but can happen any time of the week

A 2018 LinkedIn survey found that 80% of professionals experience what they called the Sunday Scaries, a prelude to the Monday morning blues. The Monday Blues are so prevalent that they have become a cultural phenomenon, but they can be much more than just passing tiredness; they are often a serious warning sign that something is not right at work. If you were happy, you’d be excited and energised on Mondays, not tired and depressed. If one is feeling under-appreciated or unsatisfied with their job, it can be especially difficult to start another seemingly endless workweek. And the case of the Monday Blues can have a negative impact on performance and productivity, as well as the people around us.

Countless studies in psychology and neurology have shown that a person’s current emotional state has a huge effect on the quality of their work and when they’re feeling blue they are less productive, less motivated, more pessimistic, less creative, less engaged and learn more slowly. The Monday Blues are contagious and one’s stress or bad mood can drastically change the overall work environment. When one is unhappy at work, it makes it very difficult for those around them to be happy, and oftentimes just one worker with a case of the Mondays can spread the doldrums to the whole team.

So what can one do to help overcome the Monday blues? Read on.

Identify the problem. If you have the Monday Blues most weeks, then this is not something you should laugh off or just live with. It’s a significant sign that you are unhappy at work and you need to fix it or move on and find another job. You need to ask yourself what is wrong and start with making a list of the things that are causing this stress and clarifying what is bothering you can help in trying to be active in finding solutions. It’s a way of empowering one to take charge and try to improve the situation.

Continue with your normal routine over the weekend. One of the reasons why Mondays are so hard is because we often leave all of our normal eating, sleeping, and exercise habits over the weekend. When we eat more, richer food and eat late drink and sleep and wake up late over the weekend, then when Monday morning comes, this catches up and we feel out of sorts. Not to say that this should not be done, but a balance should be found which lets us unwind while still keeping up with major routines.

Disconnect over the weekend. If you are constantly thinking of work and checking work emails when you should be using the weekend to relax, it’s a sign we are setting ourselves up for burnout sooner or later. When we feel stressed just thinking of work on Sunday, it’s a clear indication that we need to have stricter boundaries between work and play. One way to break the habit is to try turning off email notifications on Friday evening and unplugging from any work-related problems to focus on personal time over the weekend. Drawing clearly defined boundaries between work and personal time can help keep things in check.

As a piece of contrary advice to the above one, sometimes, when you know you have a big week ahead of you, you can get a head start on important tasks, but only if it is absolutely necessary. Maybe an hour or so on Sunday to plan the week and get some work done to take some of the pressure off come Monday. If this is something you would do once a while, make sure you spend one day relaxing and then work a bit the other day. You can also prepare for the next week on Friday evenings, by taking five or 10 minutes to prepare for the next week by straightening up the workspace, tying up loose ends and making a to-do list. Investing this time will help ease the mind for the next 48 hours.

If Monday mornings or Sunday evenings are usually scary and full of anxiety, then take some time to really think about what’s causing this anxiety. When you are able to figure that out, it’s easier to focus on what’s within your control, not on what’s beyond it and certainly not on that which might be based merely on fiction. Although it might seem counter-intuitive, waking up an extra 15 to 30 minutes early on Monday morning can actually make going back to the office easier. Having a little more ‘me time’ instead of feeling like you’re trapped in a time crunch can make that transition a little easier.

Another way to help combat that Monday morning anxiety is to be sure to leave as few dreadful tasks as possible on Friday afternoon so by taking care of the things you least want to handle at the end of one workweek, you’re making the start of the next that much better.

Don’t mess with your sleep cycle. An obvious thing, but not feeling well-rested can have a huge impact on how you feel come Monday morning. Experts advise keeping the sleep and wake schedule close to what it is during the week to avoid messing up your internal clock. Also, it is recommended that you wake up at the same time each day, even over weekends, so your body internal clock is still in sync. Even if you are unable to stick to the exact same routine, avoid going to bed more than an hour or two later than you would during the week.

Avoid overscheduling on Monday. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed when you’re flooded with meetings after coming back from a relaxing weekend, so whenever possible, try to avoid scheduling meetings or big tasks on Monday. It is also a good idea to make sure all the tasks scheduled for the week are completed before you start enjoying your weekend. If this is an issue, then using time management tools may help track activities and schedule events easily. This will help you to come into Monday with more ease from the weekend. Instead of tackling the biggest and most complicated tasks early on Monday, take some time for easier, more routine stuf. This might get you up and running and give you the energy for the more difficult or unpleasant tasks. But if you do have any unpleasant tasks awaiting your attention Monday morning, get them done as early as possible so that you don’t spend the rest of the day procrastinating or feeling as if there’s a black cloud hanging over your head. You’ll feel a lot better once it’s over.

Have fun at work. Take it upon yourself to do things that you enjoy in the office on Monday. Create an event that you will look forward to on Mondays as a way to break up the day with some known positivity. At the very least, it gives you a chance to take a deep breath, talk with a friend, and regroup for the rest of the day.

Write down your feelings. When our minds are overactive and we start overthinking, we can’t relax and destress, especially over the weekend. In such cases, jotting down your worries, can calm the mind and even make you more productive. I generally use Google Docs for this, but you can use the good old pen and paper or any other way to write down your thoughts and once you do that, the concerns and anxieties will feel much smaller and more manageable and the mind is clearer and calmer. According to the University of Rochester Medical Center, the simple act of journaling can help to manage anxiety, reduce stress and cope with depression.

Another way to beat the Monday Blues is to make a list of the things you’re excited about. We often look at the week ahead of us and think of all the tough stuff we have to do and the difficult tasks ahead of us, so we can just turn that around. On Sunday evening, make a list of three things you look forward to at work that week and this might put you in a more positive mood. If you can’t think of three things you look forward to, that might be an indication that you need to make some changes.

Dress for success. Mondays are when you should wear your favourite or a new outfit. It will perks you up and lets you be positive and also help others be positive. This can also help build your confidence because when you look good, you feel good and feeling good about yourself is half of the battle on Monday mornings, because rather than being deflated by work you want to face it with confidence.

Start the week out with an attitude of gratitude and take time to recognise and appreciate the things that you enjoy about work. Be positive and start even before you get into work. Try listening to favourite songs, with some upbeat, high-energy music into your morning preparation or commute to pump yourself up. And when you get into office, don’t listen to other people’s Monday gripes because creating or contributing to a culture of complaining is no way to improve your attitude. Make someone else happy and do something nice for someone else as soon as you get to work on Monday. This will definitely can lift the spirits and could actually help shift the overall mood. Research shows that according to positive psychology one of the best ways to cheer yourself up is to make someone else happy.

Have a post-work plan. Your day shouldn’t just be about trudging through Monday to get it over with, but about looking forward to something. By making Monday a special day where you get to go out with friends, make your favourite dinner, or eat a bowl of popcorn and catch up on a TV show you recorded, the day doesn’t have to be all about getting up to go into the office.

So here are some things you can do to get out the funk of the Monday Blues and have a great week.

The Good and the Bad: Boss Edition

Posted on August 2, 2021 by memoriesandsuch

It is often said people don’t leave bad organisations, but leave bad bosses. And this is so true. When coworkers get together, stories are bandied about bosses and rarely are good managers discussed, but the spotlight is mostly on bad bosses. Many bosses fall into the bad boss category because they fail to provide clear direction, regular feedback, recognition for contributions, and a strategic framework of goals that enable their employees to see their progress. These kinds of bad bosses are what are called generic bad bosses because all employees need these types of support and feedback, and they suffer when they don’t receive it.

I’ve had my fair share of bosses, both good and bad. In my first job, we were a very young team, all of us fresh out of school and in our first jobs. The company was also a fairly young one, but the management were not very young, they had about a decade plus experience and you could probably call them middle management. While we didn’t really really report to them, they oversaw our work. My expectations with managers and bosses are most likely influenced by how they interacted with us. They were friendly and fair and had an open office policy. But one thing really stands out for me and is something that has been a sort of guiding principle for me all these years.

The office was a split office, with us in the ground floor and the managers and finance people in level 2. Officially the office would end at 5:30 pm and at 6 pm, one of the bosses, lets call him D would come down to go back home and if he saw us around, we would have to have a good reason why we were still around. 90% of the time, we were around, because we were hanging out with each other. Except for one, none of us were married and had no responsibilities, so there was no pressure to get out of the office and go home.

When D saw us hanging around, not leaving the office, he would ask us why were still there and used to say something like this. I am paraphrasing this, but he would say that if you are staying late because you have too much work, then there could be two reasons for this. One because you have too much on your plate or two because you have not finished your work in the scheduled hours of work. In both cases, we should have a talk, because if you have too much work, then we need to figure out how to reduce your workload and if it’s the second reason, then we also need to talk about why you are not able to finish your work on time. This is something that has always resonated with me and I have always tried to be as productive as possible while at work and leave on time as much as possible.

Another manager who made an impact in my life was someone who was my manager for the longest period of time. I was also in this organisation the longest, for almost a decade and of the multiple managers whom I reported to, this one was the one I reported to the longest. He was fair, but had his faults, the biggest of which was playing favourites. While I was not a favourite, I was also on his dislike list and so I escaped some of the worst things he said to others. From him I learnt how not to play favourites, especially when hiring people for the organisation and to not enable them so much they they believed to be above all others. He used to catch up with us every time he passed through Singapore but died a few years back.

The third manager was someone whom I reported to for less than a couple of years, but he was a peer in terms of age. A very supportive manager, he gave me more responsibilities when he saw I could handle them and also credit where it is due. I learnt a lot from him, especially on how to manage people as he was someone who was friendly with everyone and even learnt some of the finer points of office politics from him. Unfortunately after about two years of reporting to him, he was transferred to a different country, but we are still in touch.

The last manager I was to talk about was the most toxic one. I have written about this person previously and even today, years after I left the organisation, I still have nightmares about how they used to literally torture me there. I can now think about them without my heart palpitating and getting stressed out, but it took me many years to get there.

Bosses are just like people, there are good ones and bad ones. A good boss or manager will set clear expectations from their subordinates, coach and give feedback, is inclusive and recognises efforts made by those reporting to him, knows his reportees, especially their talents and what they are good at and most importantly is there for them and takes a stand when it is needed.

A bad boss on the other hand, is everthing but what a good boss is. A boss is the umbilical cord that connects employees to an organisation, and if that cord is damaged, the employees will eventually leave. So if you are one of the lucky employees who has a great boss, don’t take that relationship for granted and show your boss how much you appreciate them.

Memories and Such

Memories of a very ordinary life

Tag Archives: Work