Toxic Workplaces

Stress is an inevitable part of our lives, especially in our workplaces. But sometimes a workplace that is overly stressful turns toxic. A toxic workplace is a workplace that is marked by significant drama and infighting, where personal battles often harm productivity. Toxic workplaces are often considered the result of toxic employers and/or toxic employees who are motivated by personal gain such as power, money, fame or special status, use unethical, mean-spirited and sometimes illegal means to manipulate and annoy those around them; and whose motives are to maintain or increase power, money or special status or divert attention away from their performance shortfalls and misdeeds. Toxic workers do not recognize a duty to the organization for which they work or their co-workers in terms of ethics or professional conduct toward others. Toxic workers define relationships with co-workers, not by organizational structure but by co-workers they favour and those they do not like or trust.

A toxic work environment is also defined as an environment that negatively impacts the viability of an organization. An organization can be considered toxic if it is ineffective as well as destructive to its employees. Studies have found that toxic workplace environments are a leading cause of workplace violence such as violent acts, including physical assaults and threats of assault, directed toward persons at work or on duty. Studies on this issue include verbal violence including threats, verbal abuse, hostility, harassment, and the like can cause significant psychological trauma and stress, even if no physical injury takes place. Verbal assaults and hostility can also escalate to physical violence. Not only in the workplace, these disruptions can show up in any number of physical symptoms like sleepless nights, feeling constantly vigilant, sweaty palms, and a racing heartbeat, but a toxic work environment has loads of negative health impacts which can affect personal life by damaging pretty much your whole life from self esteem to even friendships.

This phenomenon harms both the company and the other employees, including those who are not direct targets. Co-workers are distracted by drama, gossip and by choosing sides in the ongoing animosity and can translate into lost productivity. While employees are distracted by this activity, they cannot devote time and attention to the achievement of business goals. Positively motivated and ethical employees may try to speak up to a toxic employee but this can make them a target. Managers of toxic employees can feel intimidated by a toxic employee and try to appease the employee in an effort to avoid confrontation. Over time, positively motivated employees drift away from the workplace and may begin to view management as inept and ineffective. This can result in poor job performance as they begin to feel less valued, therefore less loyal to the company. Fellow employees may begin to experience physical symptoms from the stress and worry over whether they or someone they care about in the work place may be targeted. This can even develop into a clinical depression requiring treatment.

I know only too well what a toxic workplace can do to you. I worked in such organisations not once, but twice! Both times, I needed a job and took up the offer, even though my gut was screaming at me not to. Both times, as early as week two in the job, I had started planning on how to get out. I hated waking up on Monday knowing that I had to go to work and even before I entered the organisation’s premises on Monday morning, I was looking forward to that Friday evening. The first was not as bad as the second one and even today, quite a few years after I have left that organisation, when I think of my time there, I start getting agitated and it’s taken me years to get to a point where I can consciously stop thinking of my time there and how I was bullied.

So how do you know if you are in a toxic work environment? Read on…

Lack of and Bad Communication: Communication skills are probably the number one sill needed in the workplace, but insufficient, confusing, or scattered communication is the culprit of so many problems there. Both verbal and non-verbal communication from the employee, supervisor and employer is possibly the root cause of negativity in an organisation. You work hard for something and there’s no recognition or worse, feedback about your task. You also don’t get the necessary information to do your job so you are set up for failure even before you start. Another communication fail is the passive-aggressive talk, both from the superior and your peers and the fact that people don’t want to listen to what you have to say.

Poor Leadership: Most people don’t leave jobs, they leave bad bosses and this point reiterates that old adage. Bad leadership can seep into every fiber of an organization, and it often does. Sometimes bad bosses are products of bad bosses, they don’t know any better and think this is how bosses should be. Such bosses make work a living hell. Bad bosses come in various forms: the micromanager who wants to know every minute what you do and constantly checks, corrects and undermines you, the blamer who wants all the credit but manages to pass down to his reportees all the mistakes, or maybe the boss who does not respect your personal space and is the one who sends emails or calls you on your weekends or holidays, expecting you to drop everything to run to him.

Workplace Cliques: A clique is a group of people in a setting who stick together all the time. At most workplaces, there are cliques all the time, but when these cliques exclude specific individuals outside their tichtly-knit circle, it ruins the workplace culture. In workplaces which are multi-cultural, when cliques speak in a language known only to them in front of others, it could be detrimental to the atmosphere and prove alientating to the person being shunned. I have seen cliques in every organisation I worked in, but the one in one of the toxic workplace I was at was extremely bad. They would speak over me (even when I was sitting right in front of them) and speak in a specific language even though co-workers were from various nationalities and spoke many language, with English being the common denominator, go off to lunches without ever inviting me, even on my first day of work and speak of shared experiences which I was obviously excluded from. They were also constantly chatting on messaging platforms and sometimes would look at me and snigger which clearly showed they were gossiping about me. I have no idea if they would continue to be friends after leaving the organisation because I did’nt want to be in touch with anyone from there after I moved on, so I have no idea.

Unmotivated Coworkers: In a toxic work environment, it’s quite easy to see that most people there are unmotivated. They are in that organisation only for the salary they are paid. They have no interest in doing anything more than absolutely necessary to earn their daily bread and not get fired. There is an air of gloom and a lack of motivation around you with people preferring to see the glass as half empty instead of half full. In such cases, it’s a few who bear the biggest burdens and this would lead to a burnout sooner or later and then you also become one of them, plodding along with zero interest in life.

Employee Sickness: Unmotivated employees in toxic workplaces lead to employee burnout, fatigue, and illness due to high levels of stress that wreak havoc on our bodies. If people are calling in sick or worse, are working sick, that’s a good sign of a toxic work environment.

High Employee Turnover: A sure sign that you are in a toxic place is the employee turnover rate. When people don’t seem to stay in an organisation, that definitely means something is seriously wrong there. Conversely, if employees are constantly being laid off or fired, this can be a sign of a few other toxic elements lack of direction, organisation disorganisation, bad leadershop or little opportunity within the organisation.

Work Life Imbalance: I call this imbalance because in a toxic work environment, there is no concept of any life, it’s all about work. In such organisations, you are expected to be working or on call 24/7/365. Your managers have no concept of personal space and think even if they send you an email with work at midnight, they expect the work to have been completed first thing in the morning. You deserve to have a full life outside of work. You should be able to leave an email unread after dinner on a Tuesday or be able to make your dentist appointment without feeling guilty. These places also frown upon taking holidays, especially if it is more than a few days. I remember hearing comments in another workplace (which was not toxic) when I first applied for a month-long holiday to go back to India. They were shocked I would take such a long break, but what they didn’t realise was that I had not taken any leave at all the whole preceeding year because I was saving up all my leave just so I could take a longish break to go and meet my parents. Once I explained this and shared my point of view, it was understood and I never had any comments about my leave as long as I worked there.

Lack of Movement: When there’s no forward growth in your career in the organisation and you seem to be stagnant in where you are, it’s probably because the environment does not allow for employees to grow and flourish. If your workplace doesn’t seem to offer any mobility, learning opportunities, or mentorship, they are likely not invested in the growth of their employees. Once you’ve recognised that you have nowhere to grow, it might be time for change.

Burnt Out Feeling: Burnout is more than a buzzword you may have heard around workplace jargon. Workplace burnout is recognized by the World Health Organization as a legitimate medical diagnosis. Burnout can be a surefire sign of a toxic work environment, or at least a work environment that doesn’t “work” for you. There are three types of burnout: Frenetic Burnout which is experienced by employees who put a ton of energy into their work in the hopes that the output will be rewarding. After a sustained period of dedicated work, the frenetic worker does not find positive outcomes. When someone has Underchallenged Burnout, the employee feels underchallenged and bored at work. Being unable to find any satisfaction in a job, the underchallenged employees find themselves in a lowered mood. When the employee is resigned about their work after experiencing consistent work stress over a long period of time, he is experiencing Worn-out Burnout. Having experienced negligible rewards, the worn-out employee feels disillusioned and uninspired by the job at hand.

Listen to your Intuition: We rarely listen to our intuition, preferring to listening to our head instead. I know this from past experience when instead of listening to my intuition, I went with what logic was telling me and paid the price for it. Most times, when we are in bad situations or we will be entering situations which are not to our best interests, our intuition screams at us to get away, but we don’t listen. In such cases, our intuition is right more than wrong and when you are faced with a fight between your head and your heart, listen to your heart, you will be thankful soon.

Now that we know how to identify a toxic workplace, what strategies can we put in place to handle it? The best solution is of course to move out and get a new job, but since this sometimes takes time and you need a job while you look for one, you just can’t walk away from such an environment immediately. We need to develop ways and means to handle the dysfunctional workplace you are in until the time you can press send on that resignation letter to your manager.

When you are at work, keep reminding yourself that you are not a reflection of your current surroundings.  Placing positive and uplifting quotes on the wall of your office or cubicle that will help keep your spirits lifted can be very helpful in these circumstances.  Also, taking time out each workday to take a short walk by yourself is a great way to detach and allow for positive self-talk to remind yourself of the qualities you possess that make you amazing.  Find ways to remind yourself of who you truly are.

Find people who feel the same way you do. Develop friendships with people who feel the same way as you. The hope is that you’ll watch each other’s back and will share any news with the group.

Do something after work that can help relieve stress. Go to the gym, do home repairs, or learn a new skill. The key is to make sure you’re living a fulfilling life outside of work to combat the drama of your 9 to 5.

Practice detachment, especially psychological detachment meaning you avoid work and work-related thoughts outside of your working hours. You can do this by taking holidays, both short and long, making time for family and friends, take up some new hobby and exercise.

Create lists to keep yourself busy. A list can help you stay focused on your tasks instead of the toxic atmosphere and gives you a reason to keep going every day.

Document everything you do. Save emails and write down comments and decisions from meetings, phone calls, and every person who interacts with you. If you need to file a complaint, you will need the evidence to back your claim.

I am a  huge believer that every situation is a learning opportunity. This too can be one. Most often our strongest personal growth comes from living through our most difficult situations.  When you are working in a toxic environment, try to pay close attention to the lessons you can take away from the experience.  Perhaps you can learn the qualities in a leader that you never want to emulate or maybe management mistakes that you would not want to repeat if the opportunity for management ever comes your way.   In every bad situation there is something you can learn that will help you become a better person, so focus on each lesson you are learning.

Another way to handle the stress of a toxic work environment is by practicing relaxation during non-work time. When people try to relax, they often report feeling healthier and suffering less from stress and exhaustion. Relaxation can be a significant moderator of the relationship between negative work thoughts and insomnia symptoms. Activities like meditation, yoga, exercising, taking a nice long walk with some music or podcast, or even volunterring and spending time with family and friends will help you relax.

Plan your exit strategy. It is possible that things could improve at your job, in which case it might make sense to stay. However, while waiting it out, begin your search for a new job. This will help you stay positive when things get rough. If you needed to leave yesterday, consider a bridge job that will keep you active while you find something in line with your career.

Resilience: The ability to pick yourself up after a fall

Resilience is defined as “The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; or toughness”. But what exactly is resilience and why is this word so important today? In today’s post, let’s try to unpack what it means to be resilient and what you can do to cultivate this trait yourself and inculcate it in the young people in your lives.

Life is not a smooth path that you coast through without any setbacks. Life will thow you curveballs from time to time, some more serious than others from everyday challenges to perhaps a serious life-threatening illness or the death of a loved one. Every such change affetcs people in different ways, with each incident bringing with itself a unique set of thoughts, emotions and uncertainties. But in most cases, most of us generally adapt to these twists and turns in our lives, some better than others, in most part because we are resilient.

Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. As much as resilience involves “bouncing back” from these difficult experiences, it can also involve profound personal growth. While these adverse events, much like rough river waters, are certainly painful and difficult, they don’t have to determine the outcome of your life. There are many aspects of your life you can control, modify and grow with. That’s the role of resilience. Becoming more resilient not only helps you get through difficult circumstances, it also empowers you to grow and even improve your life along the way.

Being resilient doesn’t mean that someone won’t experience difficulty or distress. People who have suffered major adversity or trauma in their lives commonly experience emotional pain and stress. In fact, the road to resilience is likely to involve considerable emotional distress. While certain factors might make some individuals more resilient than others, resilience isn’t necessarily a personality trait that only some people possess. On the contrary, resilience involves behaviours, thoughts and actions that anyone can learn and develop. The ability to learn resilience is one reason research has shown that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. Like building a muscle, increasing your resilience takes time and intentionality.

Nowhere else but in the workplace is resilience needed more than ever. Our fast-paced work culture results in people working hard, meeting tight deadlines, managing work relationships and staying constantly connected through mobile devices. But this pace can lead to stress and burnout and navigating through these challenges requires skills and strategies that can be developed. Resilience is a key strategy that helps employees tackle stress, a competitive job market, workplace conflicts, and address challenges on the job. Improving resilience is important because employees identify work as the number one stressor in their lives.

When employees are resilient, they are able to handle work stress better, have greater job satisfaction, work happiness, organisational commitment and employee engagement. Increased resilience also contributes to improved self-esteem, a sense of control over life events, a sense of purpose in life and improved employee interpersonal relationships and increased productivity.

For employers, to foster resilience amongst your employees, allow autonomy whenever possible and let individuals do their jobs. Reward employees for good work and allow them to have flexible schedules so they can work at a pace and time that work best for them. Also, employers need to be more reasonable about work expectationsand be more vigilent about policies on work expectations and work hours. Lastly, employers need to provide access to services and support needed to maintain good physical and mental health.

So how can you learn to be more resilient. By focusing on core components, which include connections, wellness, healthy thinking and meaning, you can empower yourself to withstand and learn from difficult and traumatic experiences. To increase your capacity for resilience to weather and grow from the difficulties, use these strategies.

Build your connections and prioritise relationships. Connecting with empathetic and understanding people can remind you that you’re not alone in the midst of difficulties. Focus on finding trustworthy and compassionate individuals who validate your feelings, which will support the skill of resilience. Do not isolate yourself when you are in a situation which causes you pain or trauma, instead accept the help and support of those who love and care for you and connect with them in a genuine way. Along with one-to-one connections, some people find that being active in groups provides them with a sense of support, purpose and joy.

Foster wellness and take care of your body. Self-care is not just a popular buzzword, but is also a legitimate practice for mental health and building resilience. I say this because stress is just as much physical as it is emotional. Promoting positive lifestyle factors like proper nutrition, ample sleep, hydration and regular exercise can strengthen your body to adapt to stress and reduce the toll of emotions like anxiety or depression.

Practice mindfulness. I can’t stress this strategy enough. Mindful journaling, yoga, meditation and prayer can help people build connections and restore hope, which can then prime you to deal with situations that require resilience. When you journal, meditate, or pray, ruminate on the positive aspects of your life and recall the things you’re grateful for, even during personal trials. At the same time, avoid negative outlets. It may be tempting to mask your pain with alcohol, drugs or other substances, but that’s like putting a bandage on a deep wound. Focus instead on giving your body the resources to manage stress, rather than seeking to eliminate the feeling of stress altogether.

Find some purpose in life and help others. When you help others by volunteering, you gather a sense of purpose, foster self-worth, connect with other people and tangibly help others, all of which can empower you to grow in resilience. During these hard times, learn to be proactive and know that it is helpful to acknowledge and accept your emotions, but it’s also important to help you foster self-discovery by asking yourself, “What can I do about a problem in my life?” If the problems seem too big to tackle, break them down into manageable pieces. Move toward your goals and develop some realistic goals and do something regularly, even if it seems like a small accomplishment, that enables you to move toward the things you want to accomplish. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?” Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often find that they have grown in some respect as a result of a struggle. It is seen that after a tragedy or hardship, people have reported better relationships and a greater sense of strength, even while feeling vulnerable which can increase their sense of self-worth and heighten their appreciation for life.

Compartmentalise your cognitive load. We receive more than 11 million bits of information every second, but our brains can only effectively process about 40 bits of information. So though we can’t decrease what we receive, we can compartmenalise our tasks to optimise how we can process this information. We should be more deliberate about how and what we compartmentalise and this is useful when you consider that switching from one type of task to another reduces productivity by as much as 40%. Creating dedicated times of the day to do specific types of work may create the best set of conditions to process information and make quality decisions while decreasing cognitive load and strain.

Take detachment breaks. Throughout the workday, it’s important to pay attention to the peaks and valleys of energy and productivity that we all experience, what health psychologists call our ultradian or hourly as opposed to our circadian or daily rhythms. Mental focus, clarity and energy cycles are typically 90-120 minutes long, so it is useful to step away from our work for even a few minutes to reset energy and attention. Research suggests that balancing work activity with even a brief time for detaching from those activities can promote greater energy, mental clarity, creativity and focus, ultimately growing our capacity for resilience throughout the course of the workday. The long-term payoff is that we preserve energy and prevent burnout over the course of days, weeks and months.

Embrace healthy thoughts and keep things in perspective. How you think can play a significant part in how you feel, and how resilient you are when faced with obstacles. I feel that those with a positive mindset overcome obstacles faster and better than those who see a glass as half empty. Try to identify areas of irrational thinking, such as a tendency to catastrophise difficulties or assume the world is out to get you, and adopt a more balanced and realistic thinking pattern. You may not be able to change a highly stressful event, but you can change how you interpret and respond to it. Accept change and also accept that change is a part of life. Certain goals or ideals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations in your life. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter. You should also maintain a hopeful outlook in life. I know it’s hard to be positive when life isn’t going your way, but an optimistic outlook empowers you to expect that good things will happen to you. Visualisation is a good way to to see what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear. Along the way, note any subtle ways in which you start to feel better as you deal with difficult situations. And most important in this step is to learn from your past. By looking back at who or what was helpful in previous times of distress, you may discover how you can respond effectively to new difficult situations. Remind yourself of where you’ve been able to find strength and ask yourself what you’ve learned from those experiences.

Cultivate compassion. One of the most overlooked aspects of the resilience skill set is the ability to cultivate compassion; both self-compassion and compassion for others. According to some research, compassion increases positive emotions, creates positive work relationships, and increases cooperation and collaboration and such practices increase happiness and well-being and decrease stress.

Getting help when you need it is crucial in building your resilience. For most people, using their own resources and the strategies mentioned above may be enough to build their resilience, but there at times and individuals for whom and when this may not be enough. In such cases, reach out to a licensed mental health professional who can assist you in developing an appropriate strategy for moving forward in life. It is important to get professional help if you feel like you are unable to function as well as you would like or perform basic activities of daily living as a result of a traumatic or other stressful life experience.

The important thing is to remember you’re not alone on the journey. While you may not be able to control all of your circumstances, you can grow by focusing on the aspects of life’s challenges you can manage with the support of loved ones and trusted professionals.

Here are some interesting Ted Talks about resilience and how we can learn from some super resilient people!