Random Musings

For a while now, I have been drawn to this shloka from the Mahabharat. What it means is that “You have the right to perform your actions, but you are not entitled to the fruits of the actions. Do not let the fruit be the purpose of your actions, and therefore you won’t be attached to not doing your duty”. So basically what it says is that a person should do what is it that they are supposed to be doing, but with no expectations from their deeds.

I am so drawn to this that I actually printed it out, along with the meaning in English and pasted it in my workspace – so that I am reminded of this every single minute and just do the work I am supposed to be doing, with no expectations. So no expecatations = no disappointments right?

Little Boys and their Toys

Coming home from work today, suddenly I was struck with a thought – what is it with little boys and their toys? Every boy in the age group one to ten that I have seen, including BB till date loves their vehicle toys. Be it a bus, car, train or plane, they hold one in their hands, even while sleeping!

Is this something that is genetically embedded in them? While minoring in Psychology aeons ago, I learnt of the “Nature versus Nurture Theory” and when I realised I was pregnant with twins, I was determined that in my case, it will be nature which determines BB & GG’s individual and specific character and personality traits and not nurture as both will be brought up in the exact same environment.

Toys used to be gender neutral and had to be shared. There was nothing really that called out to gender-specific toys, but we could see nature fighting her way through quite early. BB loved vehicles – anything with a wheel, he wanted. When we left the house to go out, he would quickly come carrying as many cars,/trains as his little hand could hold and insist he wanted all of them to come out with him. He went through a  ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’ where he managed get almost all the major characters. It does not help that S is an equal, enthusiastic partner, who loves to buy these toys for his son. He even had some cars which he had kept all these years! Big boys and their toys!! Now BB has graduated to playing with his cars and planes on an online world.

So is it our environment and the external world which reinforces gender stereotypes? Maybe that’s true as advertisements almost always show boys playing with more aggressive toys and girls being shown as more gentle. Why can’t boys be the more gentle ones? While reading for this post, I came across some very good articles which highlight this gender imbalance. Here’s one and another. And they wonder why girls don’t go in for STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Maths) subjects in school!

Why are Mondays so Difficult?

Monday morning to me is a classic paradox! One on hand, I wake up, bright-eyed and eager to get started on the week. Then get to work and start on my To Do List and then bam! somewhere along the line, things slowly start to slow down and by 10 -10:30 am, my engine comes to a stop!

It’s a downhill all the way then. I keep on procrastinating, fighting sleep and doing everything else, except the most important task for the day, all the while waiting for the clock to hit the going home time!

One reason could be this – I sleep around 6-7 hours per night, which should be reasonable for a working adult, but is clearly not enough for me. To be at my optimal best, I need close to 8 hours of sleep, of which atleast 5-6 should be deep or REM sleep. But I average around half of that per night. So when Friday evening rolls, I have a huge sleep deficit which I try to even out by sleeping in over the weekend and also taking afternoon naps. The result of all this oversleeping is that I have a troubled sleep on Sunday nights, which makes Monday mornings a real b**ch

What can I do about this? Any suggestions to make my Mondays better?

2015 Life Goals

Displaying image.pngAnother tradition I have is to put down my goals for the new year on Jan 1st year. Now whether or not I follow through it is debatable….

This year I want to be my breakthrough year with no Resolutions, instead what I want to do is have Life Goals for 2015. These are more like goal posts of my life and I want to steer my life towards them. Resolutions seems something everyone says they will do on Jan 1 and promptly breaks it on Jan 02nd!

So without any much ado, here are my Life Goals for 2015

  • Use the treadmill for a minimum of 30 minutes for a minimum of 6 days a week
  • Eat healthily with minimum junk food – no foraging biscuits in the office either!
  • Lose a minimum of 10% of my body weight as on 1st Jan (which shall remain a secret here, but let’s just say that I do need to lose 10 20 kgs to reach my ideal BMI range). With this 10%, I still will be overweight, but slightly better than where I am today
  • Get my 3 monthly HBA1c count to between 5 and 6
  • Work with BB & GG to help them get good PSLE scores and get admissions into the schools of their choice.
  • Start working on revamping my resume. Talk to some resume experts and rework it. Start applying for jobs with the new resume in 2015 Q4, even if it’s where I am currently working in.
  • Take time for myself. Complete atleast 5 courses in Coursera – I have already signed up for 3 courses, which start sometime in March/April 2015, so this is one goal I should be able to reach easily.
  • Try to meditate once a week, increasing it to a 2-3 times by the time the year end rolls by.
  • Try one new hobby – something I always to try, but never had the courage/time/pick your excuse to do…
  • And the most important one – atleast here – write more often – minimum three times a week on both blogs!

There! A fairly big list of things to complete in 2015. Hopefully, now that I have put it down on paper, I will be forced to do it.

What do you think? Do it think they are doable? Am I trying too many things at the same time? Too ambitious?

2014 Reflections

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Sunrise at the Angkor Wat, Cambodia

Irrespective of how much I blog in a year, I usually do one on the 31st of December as a way to reflect on the year that went by and also try (the operative word here) to put in goals and resolutions for the new year.

Family

2014 was a mixed year with some good and bad happenings. The year actually started well with both BB and GG getting Edusave Awards. All of us were super thrilled and had hoped that this will spur them to do well in school in the current year too! Alas, as usual Hindi was the party pooper and for GG Maths also proved to be the subject she just does not get the grips of. BB did better in school than GG with being in the top in his class for his other three subjects – English, Maths and Science and will be getting his award for 2014 this Sunday.

Their school choir also won a Distinction at the Singapore Youth Festival in April and I was one of the parent volunteers there. We were in school at 5:30 am to get the children ready L and they were scheduled to perform around 10 at the School of The Arts (SOTA). All in all it was a wonderful experience for all of us – both children and parents! We came home tired and exhausted that day, but seeing the school (SOTA), GG wants to now try to apply for the school for DSA next year.

Health-wise, mostly it’s been positive for everyone. I was the only one who had a health scare this year. In July, after a particularly bad case of an abscess, I was warded in hospital to have it surgically removed and in the process discovered that I am a Diabetic! It was my Type 2 Diabetes which was responsible for the abscess in the first place and in a way I am glad it came when it did as it helped me get diagnosed.  It was a shock to anyone who knows me as I am someone who does not have a sweet tooth and prefer spicy foods to sweet any time! Anyways, I’m on medication and will probably have to have it for the rest of my life. My last HBA1c test had a fasting sugar rate of 7 which is in the upper end of what normal people have. My primary care doctor is happy, but I want this number to be on the median level – somewhere around 5.5 to 6.

Other than this health scare, which made me stay at home for three weeks (but I was working all the days at home, so no real rest), and other than usual colds, coughs and flu, we are all healthy. S has been having some real bad back pain over the last few days, so hopefully today’s medical check-up will only reveal it’s bad posture and maybe approaching old age and nothing serious.

GG decided to drop her ballet, something she has been doing since she was 3.5 years old, around 8 years back! Gosh, now that I put it down, it’s been more than three quarters of her life so far. She’s been losing interest in it for a while and every few months would speak of dropping it. It was only me who kept pressuring her to continue. But then when she was unsuccessful in her last exam, I decided to let her drop it and concentrate on her studies. No point in spending money on something if she no longer has the passion for it anymore. She says she wants to try modern or contemporary dance now, we’ll see after the end of this year.

Our helper R has will complete her contract in February next year and she has indicated she wants to continue with us, which is good. She’s been wonderful so far, and if you close one eye to things about her which irk you, this arrangement is a good one for both of us. I definitely need a helper for the next year and after that it really depends on how our life takes flight. We may be able to do away with a full time helper and have a part-timer coming in when we are not at home. Or I may just decide to continue with this arrangement, if things go according to the plan I have in my mind – more on that when I write about goals.

Work:

Again a good year for me professionally. I did well at work and my bonuses proved that, but this position, although good, is not something I would like to see myself doing on a long-term basis. This position, at a large MNC is on a contract basis and the position involves some administrative work, which I would prefer not to do. Readers who may think why I took up this position when I was not very comfortable doing it may read this post I wrote same time last year which has the why’s in more detail. I don’t have anything against admin work, but it’s not something I trained in and not something I see myself in doing on a long-time basis. My boss, the guy who initially recruited me has also moved on – he has moved to another country with a promotion, so although I am real happy for him – could not have happened to a better person, I also no longer have any guilt for leaving him (I am like this – have very strong loyalty, especially to the person I report to and if he/she has recruited me, it’s multiplied many times and feel guilty when I try to leave a company). I will, in any case, spend 2015 in this same company, honing skills learnt here – and I have learnt so much in the two years I have been here! Then by the end of the year, if no other opportunity in this organization comes up, I will start to look for any opportunity to move in. Win-Win right?

In the meantime, I need to work on some social (read office politics) skills here which I hope to do this year….