Why I Write

I have always been a voriacious reader, I can’t really remember not having a book in my hand at any point in life. In fact, I was caught in school reading novels, which was not allowed, that’s how much I loved reading. Writing, then, was something I naturally gravitated to. My childhood dream was to become a librarian and a writer, simultaneoiusly! Unfortunately, reality got in the way and I actually studied something else and made a career in another field. But I was always writing.

I am an introvert and have always lived in a world that is unknown to others. I live in my imagination, wrote stories and screenplays in my head and when I was younger, I used to play dress-up and live the lives my favourite characters lived. I was part of the Famous Five and the Five Find-Outers and helped Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys solve their cases. Closer to home, I was part of the mythological stories my grandmother used to tell us and believe me when I say this – when I was told stories, I could actually see it play out in my head. This is probably why till today, I don’t really like watching a movie when I have already read the book. The movie in my head is way, way better than what I see on screen.  

I remember in the late seventies and ealy eighties of India, as a middle-class family, we didn’t really have access to many books and my school library was my favourite place. In my school, there were two libraries, one for the primary students and the other, bigger one, for older students and the adults. I very quickly outgrew my primary library and would rush to the bigger library every day after quickly gobbling down my lunch. Even now, when I write this down, I can remember, rushing from the bigger library to my class when the bell which signalled the end of lunch ran. The bigger library was in level two of another building which was separated from my primary building by our school gymnasium and so I used to run down one flight of stairs, run across the grounds and run up another flight of stairs to hope to make it to my classroom before the teacher came in. I have slipped and fell during the monsoons, resulting in mud stains on my uniform, which I had to explain twice – once in school and once at home! But I still continued reading and then writing. Even when I moved to the secondary section and became friends with the librarian, I quickly started reading books way above my reading level. I remember borrowing books like 1984 by George Orwell when I was like 12 or 13 and when we used to have our library period, I would get special permission to borrow from the adult section, which was usually locked because I had pretty much read everything else. Even after our library period ended in upper secondary, I continued to borrow books, and think I was the only girl in our level who did something like this.

In school, English composition was my favorite period and when we had our English language paper, the first thing I would do would look at the last question which used to be the composition. I would see the choices and decide what I will be writing about and only then go and work on the rest of the paper and by the time I came to the composition, I had an idea on how I will write the essay.

I write because now, if I don’t, it feels as if something is missing that day in my life. I started blogging more than 10 years back, because earlier this year, WordPress informed me that it was my tenth anniversary on the site. Before WP, I had a blog on Blogspot, on which I wrote for a couple of years, so I think I must be blogging for a good dozen years. After reading this, if you are tempted to look for my blog in Blogspot, don’t bother. It was with a different name, and I can’t even remember it myself.

I write because I have so much inside me that I have to share it to a wider audience. I don’t know if I have shared this previously, but since I blog anonymously, I don’t share anything about this blog beyond you people. Nobody beyond my children (and now my husband) know about this space of mine and any readers who decide to stay on do so, hopefully, because my writing brings some value to them. This is why, even though I don’t have a huge readership, I write daily and cherish each and every reader who decides that they like what they read.

Sometimes I think back and wish, I had probably become a writer professionally, maybe for a publication even. Would I have been happier? I really don’t know. I do have hopes of publishing something, someday. Maybe that is a goal I should work towards and see if I can reach in the next few years. But until then, I will work hard on my craft and continue to write and hone my writing to take it to the next level.

Until then thank you for reading my writing, sometimes which verges on rambles and may seem incoherent. And also because writing is fun!

Reminiscences

Yesterday, I accidently clicked on my old blog which I used to host on Blogger. So I started reading my old entries. I started blogging way back in 2007 and was a very sporadic blogger, blogging a total of 62 blog posts over a two year period. Compare this with this blog now and I’ve sure come a long way.

In March 2007 when BB & GG were about 3.5 years old, I wrote the following post, and when I re-read it yesterday, I realised that 4.5 years later, it still held true..

Girls and Boys

Being the mom to a girl/boy pair of twins has certainly given me loads of food for thought. It’s quite fascinating to see how girls and boys behave under certain situations – given that the external environment is the same for them both. This brings to my mind the “Nature versus Nurture” theory that I learned in Psychology class way back in college. The gist of that theory is that “What determines a human being’s behaviour patterns? Is it his internal genetic make-up or is it the external factors which make a person what he/she is and how they behave?”

With the Pilot and Princess, I have always tried to be fair – I never made any distinctions between the two, especially in terms of gender specific toys and games. But surprisingly the age-old gender distinctions are very clear in our home. The Princess loves playing with her dolls and Barbie collections and the Pilot is vehicle mad. But there are some blurred spaces – the Princess likes to play with blocks and the Pilot with their little laptop (guess that is because it is a Ferrari model and all the games are car based).

But it is in temperaments that I am most surprised about. Contrary to perception that girls are made of ‘sugar and spice and all that is nice’, the Princess is the more assertive and dominating twin. The Pilot on the other hand easily gives in to his sister, but he is learning to be more assertive now. The Princess can shriek, rant and throw tantrums with the best of them and she is not afraid of anyone and anything. If we try to punish her, she probably will come back to me and I am really dreading her teens! The Pilot is more sensitive and a look from me is enough to make him back down.

It was fun to read old posts. I will trawl my old Blogger blog and put in posts that I feel are good to put here. There are some interesting posts about when BB & GG were little as well as other snippets!