To Have and to Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma – Molly Millwood
When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of wellbeing. And though she had the benefit of a supportive husband during this transition, she also at times resented the fact that the disruption to his life seemed to pale in comparison to hers.
As a clinical psychologist, Molly knew her experience was a normal response to a life-changing event. But without the advantage of such a perspective, many of the patients she treated in her private practice grappled with self-doubt, guilt, and fear, and suffered the dual pain of not only the struggle to adjust but also the overwhelming shame for struggling at all.
In To Have and to Hold, Molly explores the complex terrain of new motherhood, illuminating the ways it affects women psychologically, emotionally, physically, and professionally—as well as how it impacts their partnership. Along with the arrival of a bundle of joy come thorny issues such as self-worth, control, autonomy, and dependency. And for most new mothers, these issues are experienced within the context of an intimate relationship, adding another layer of tension, conflict, and confusion to an already challenging time.
As Molly examines the inextricable link between women’s well-being as new mothers and the well-being of their relationships, she offers guidance to help readers reclaim their identities, overcome their guilt and shame, and repair their relationships. A blend of personal narrative, scientific research, and stories from Molly’s clinical practice, To Have and to Hold provides a much-needed lifeline to new mothers everywhere.
The Family Firm: A Data-Driven Guide to Better Decision Making in the Early School Years – Emily Oster
In The Family Firm , Brown professor of economics and mom of two Emily Oster offers a classic business school framework for data-driven parents to think more deliberately about the key issues of the elementary school, health, extracurricular activities, and more.
Unlike the hourly challenges of infant parenting, the big questions in this age come up less frequently. But we live with the consequences of our decisions for much longer. What’s the right kind of school and at what age should a particular kid start? How do you encourage a healthy diet? Should kids play a sport and how seriously? How do you think smartly about encouraging children’s independence? Along with these bigger questions, Oster investigates how to navigate the complexity of day-to-day family logistics.
Making these decisions is less about finding the specific answer and more about taking the right approach. Parents of this age are often still working in baby mode, which is to say, under stress and on the fly. That is a classic management problem, and Oster takes a page from her time as a business school professor at the University of Chicago to show us that thoughtful business process can help smooth out tough family decisions.
The Family Firm is a smart and winning guide to how to think clearly–and with less ambient stress–about the key decisions of the elementary school years.
Parenting is a full-time job. It’s time we start treating it like one.
Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men – Meg Meeker
From the moment a mother holds her newborn son, his eyes tell her that she is his world. But often, as he grows up, the boy who needs her simultaneously pushes her away. Calling upon thirty years of experience as a pediatrician, Meg Meeker, M.D., a highly sought after national speaker, assistant professor of clinical medicine, and mother of four, shares the secrets that every mother needs to know in order to strengthen—or rebuild—her relationship with her son.
Boys today face unique challenges and pressures, and the burden on mothers to guide their boys through them can feel overwhelming. This empowering book offers a road map to help mothers find the strength and confidence to raise extraordinary sons by providing encouragement, education, and practical advice about
The need for mothers to exercise courage and be bolder and more confident about advising and directing their boys, the crucial role mothers play in expressing love to sons in healthy ways so they learn to respect and appreciate women as they grow up, the importance of teaching sons about the values of hard work, community service, and a well-developed inner life, the natural traps mothers of boys often fall into—and how to avoid them, the need for a mother to heal her own wounds with the men in her life so she can raise her son without baggage and limitations, and the best ways to survive the moments when the going gets tough and a mom’s natural ways of communicating—talking, analyzing, exploring—only fuel the fire.
When a mother holds her baby boy for the first time, she also instinctively knows something else: if she does her job right and raises her son with self-esteem, support, and wisdom, he will become the man she knows he was meant to be.
Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be – Becky Kennedy
Dr. Becky Kennedy, wildly popular parenting expert and creator of @drbeckyatgoodinside, shares her groundbreaking approach to raising kids and offers practical strategies for parenting in a way that feels good.
Over the past several years, Dr. Becky Kennedy–known to her followers as “Dr. Becky”–has been sparking a parenting revolution. Millions of parents, tired of following advice that either doesn’t work or simply doesn’t feel good, have embraced Dr. Becky’s empowering and effective approach, a model that prioritizes connecting with our kids over correcting them.
Parents have long been sold a model of childrearing that simply doesn’t work. From reward charts to time outs, many popular parenting approaches are based on shaping behavior, not raising humans. These techniques don’t build the skills kids need for life, or account for their complex emotional needs. Add to that parents’ complicated relationships with their own upbringings, and it’s easy to see why so many caretakers feel lost, burned out, and worried they’re failing their kids. In Good Inside, Dr. Becky shares her parenting philosophy, complete with actionable strategies, that will help parents move from uncertainty and self-blame to confidence and sturdy leadership.
Offering perspective-shifting parenting principles and troubleshooting for specific scenarios–including sibling rivalry, separation anxiety, tantrums, and more–Good Inside is a comprehensive resource for a generation of parents looking for a new way to raise their kids while still setting them up for a lifetime of self-regulation, confidence, and resilience.
Travelling is an incredible process where one can learn so much without setting foot inside a classroom. Parenting is a lifelong journey that is filled with different challenges at each point. Combining these two enriching experiences might seem like a daunting task, but the truth is that travelling with children can be a transformative and growth-inducing adventure for both parents and their little ones.
According to experts, the most rapid brain development occurs in the first five years of a child’s life, and especially in the first three. Surrounding kids from birth to about three years old with people who are different from them normalises that experience. Travel and educating children about their roles as citizens of the world when they’re young ensures they will retain that message into their adult years because when somebody begins a habit or a tradition early in life, that becomes the foundation through which they view the world for the rest of their life.
Experts claim that travelling with children can significantly boost development. Travel can expand a kid’s world, making them more empathetic toward cultural differences and helping them adapt to changing situations. It can even shape their linguistic development as babies. Travel has the potential to create a new narrative that teaches children about the similarities with others and lays a strong foundation, especially in the early years. Travelling together fosters stronger bonds between parents and their children. Shared experiences in new and exciting places create lasting memories, promoting a sense of togetherness. Whether it’s exploring ancient ruins, playing on the beach, or sampling local delicacies, the shared joy of discovery reinforces the parent-child connection.
Exposure to different cultures, languages, and ways of life broadens children’s horizons and nurtures open-mindedness. Travelling allows them to see the world through a new lens, developing empathy and respect for diversity. As parents, embracing these experiences alongside children encourages them to set a positive example and cultivate open-mindedness. Travel inherently comes with unforeseen challenges, from delayed flights to language barriers. Facing and overcoming these obstacles teaches children valuable problem-solving and adaptability skills. Parents too, learn to be more patient, flexible, and resourceful, setting a great example for their little ones.
Family travel might not always go as planned, but it presents valuable opportunities to teach resilience to children. Coping with travel mishaps or unfamiliar situations fosters a can-do attitude, teaching them that setbacks are temporary hurdles to overcome. It’s a lesson that will serve them well throughout their lives. Today, with everyone so busy, finding quality family time where everyone can be together can be quite challenging. Travel offers a chance to escape routine and fully immerse in each other’s company. Away from the distractions of work and daily life, parents can genuinely engage with their children, creating cherished memories together. And who can deny that travel is an unparalleled educational experience for children that brings history, geography, and culture to life, and offers practical lessons that go beyond the confines of textbooks? Learning becomes exciting and hands-on, leaving a lasting impact on a child’s understanding of the world.
So how can one ensure that travel, especially with young children is a pleasure and not a pain?
Plan Age-Appropriate Itineraries – Consider the interests and energy levels of the children when planning activities and sightseeing. Mix in child-friendly attractions to keep them engaged and excited.
Pack Wisely – Travelling with children requires thoughtful packing. Bringing essential items such as snacks, entertainment, first-aid supplies, and comfort items ensures a smooth journey.
Involve Children in Planning – Let the little ones have a say in the trip’s planning process. It empowers them and gives them a sense of ownership over the adventure.
Be Flexible – While travelling with younger children, especially, it’s always a good idea to embrace the idea of spontaneity and allow for detours. Sometimes, the most memorable experiences come from unexpected twists in the journey.
Capture the Moments – In today’s age of social media and digital memories, one must make sure to take photos and videos to preserve the memories of the family travel. Encourage children to keep a travel journal or scrapbook as a creative outlet so they can revisit memories of the trip.
Stay Positive – Children pick up on their parents’ emotions and if they find their parents panicking or worried, they also start having meltdowns. By approaching challenges with optimism, children will follow the lead.
Travelling with children can be a rollercoaster ride, but the rewards are immeasurable. It is a journey of personal growth, stronger family bonds, and lifelong lessons. Parents have the power to shape their children’s perspectives through these shared adventures, and in return, they teach parents valuable lessons about patience, adaptability, and the joy of discovering the world anew. So, embark on that family travel adventure. Embrace the chaos and wonder. Let it change you for the better as a parent and create a treasure trove of memories for your children to cherish as they grow.
Memories and Such 