This is a scenario that has probably happened to all of us. We are desperately waiting for an answer for either a dream job or a place in the course we yearn to be in. And then there comes a call or more likely an email that dashes our hopes to the ground – a rejection letter if we are lucky. The more likely scenario is ghosting and then slowly we give up hope. We are despondent and think our world has come to an end.
Bryant McGill said Rejection is merely a redirection: a course correction to your destiny. And this is true. Failure or rejection is just a delay in our plans, a temporary detour, not the end. It may be very difficult to see it then, but that rejection is a sign from the universe that there is something better waiting. But after some time, we have to get up, dust off the rejection and the pain it caused us and continue doing what we need to do to reach our goal. Rejection teaches us that hard work and tenacity will allow us to reap the ultimate reward.
Rejection forces us to dig deep and clarify our passions. Many times, failure and loss result from a diminished passion and we realise we weren’t as passionate as we first thought. The pruning effect is positive and as we clear your plate a little, we’ll make more room for what excites us and direct our energies toward that and it is clear that focused energy is when we’re most effective.
Challenges and losses compel us to gather up our resources and develop and uncover skills we didn’t know we had. It gives that jolt of adrenalin to our system which forces us to go beyond what we thought we were capable of. A rejection keeps us in check. There will always be someone who is better than us and deserves what we were hoping to get and a rejection shows us that. It pulls us down and if we are at that point arrogant or too sure of our abilities, that’s the universe telling us no, we aren’t. The rejection then becomes a lesson for us, reminds us to be better the next time round and strive harder. With pain, comes gain and when we are all out to reach a goal, then we should be prepared for rejection, criticism and hate and with each such prick, you start to develop a thick skin, which makes future rejections easier to handle. Rejection also eliminates what doesn’t serve us and we are also allowed to reject something that is not right for us, a sort of reverse rejection.
When faced with a large failure, you see who is there for you. When you hit rock bottom, it is your family and close friends, ones who are there in thick and thin, in sadness and happiness. So you can sieve those who are genuine from the freeloaders when rejection comes calling. During rejection, we can figure out where we are lacking, especially the habits and skills we have not yet acquired which a failure reminds us to go forth and get.
We are all plagued with the superhero syndrome and this becomes harmful when the candle is burning at both ends, drifting toward burnout. It is only when faced with rejection, that you start to learn to ask for help and then realise that asking for help is not a weakness but can be viewed in a positive light.
When we are rejected, we usually go back to the drawing board to take stock and reevaluate what went wrong. This is something that we need to do regularly, but when faced with success, we rarely do that, it’s only failure that compels us to rethink options and who knows the rethink may set us on a new path, something we had not considered previously.
Lastly, when we are rejected, our successes become sweeter. Value and meaning become heightened in the face of difficulty with the greatest celebrations coming from the toughest battles. When the journey to get to the peak includes getting back on our feet and dusting ourselves off, we’ll be more inclined to stop when we see roses and express a little more gratitude at the finish line.
When we are rejected or we are subject to failures, at that moment, we are so hurt and dejected that it is impossible to see past it. In retrospect, in many cases, failure would be the best thing that could have happened to us. Failure and rejection are what keeps us hungry, motivated, and allows us to shoot for the stars by bettering ourselves for the next opportunity that comes along. In short, the bitterness of every failure adds sweetness to every victory.
Oh yeah, struggle is an important part of life, rejection being part of it. Life would be much worse if we simply got what we wanted. Anyway, thanks for this post!
Thanks for commenting and yes we are better off because of our struggles.
Well written. We do well struggling through this pandemic.