Tag Archives: Family

A Cousin a Day keeps the Boredom Away

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“Nobody will understand the craziness of your family better than your cousins”

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Cousins are your friends by blood. Not everyone, especially these days of smaller families have cousins who are with them through thick and thin.

My mom is the oldest of four sisters and my dad is the oldest of a younger brother and sister. We’re closer to my mom’s family. My dad lost his sister when I was in school and his brother moved away when I was real young and now we are not in contact with him or his family! I feel real sad that I don’t know my cousins from his side – I have not met them (two boys) in the last 15-18 years and they must be adults now (I last saw them when they were 4 & 8!) I sometimes joke with my dad that if I ever pass them in the street, they would be random strangers to me, that’s how out of touch we are!

I’m the oldest of eight cousins from my maternal side, dominated by girls. Between me and the youngest there’s an 11 year gap. We’re six girls and two boys.

Growing up, we were close, but since we’d meet maybe once a year if lucky, it was not that “tell you all my secrets” type of closeness. Plus, because of the eleven year gap, when I was say fifteen, my youngest cousins were like three or four! I even have memories of my second last cousin’s birth! I remember seeing her as a new-born in the hospital and since she was born in early March, I distinctly remember going to my grandmother’s home for our summer holidays in April/May and being with her. I have memories of begging my aunt to let me hold her and I would sit patiently with her on my lap when my aunt went for a bath or did something else.

However, as we grew up, the age gap somehow closed and we could relate to each other and instead of growing apart, we grew closer!

Thanks to Facebook, emails and social media we got even closer, sharing photos and milestones. It was great, but somehow we were not able to meet due to distances, schedules and what have you. Currently, we’re scattered all over the world – Hong Kong, Singapore, India, UK, USA and Canada – you get the picture right, when someone is free in one part of the world, the others are busy in another!

However it was last year, when one of my youngest cousins got married, we really started connecting with each other. Before the wedding, we started a Whatsapp group to discuss what to give her. This was something we started when the first one of us got married. In addition to the family gift with the parents, we wanted to give something special to our cousin and at that time, with hardly anyone working, it used to be small. Now that we can afford it, it’s more expensive.

It was great fun at the wedding – we had the time of our lives and missed the one cousin who could not make it. Then we decided to keep in touch more since it was so much fun and since then there’s hardly a day when texts are not pinging their way across the globe.

Cousins brighten up your life so much, that I hope BB & GG also have the same relationship with their cousins, both first and second (aka children of my cousins)

Sunday

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Yesterday, after quite some time, we went out as a family. What with S’s erratic work schedule, we hardly get time to go out together. We decided to check out the new mall in Jurong East – JCube. My impressions – same as all the other malls. Nothing so very different except for one shop Payless Shoes. Wow! So many shoes and the best part is that there were so many options in my size. My size is longer than the average size worn by women here and so it’s quite difficult for me to get good and reasonably priced shoes. I tried on many, but didn’t buy any. I will definitely go back when (if) I start working again. GG was also super impressed there. She’s getting to the age when all these things – shoes, bags, make-up are simply fascinating to her!

The USP of this mall is that they have Singapore’s biggest and only Olympic sized ice skating rink. GG wanted to to go in and try it out, but since we didn’t come prepared, I had to persuade her not to. We’ve promised her to come back and try skating there another day though!

We also had dinner at Chilis. Normally at most malls, it’s a challenge to find food to eat as we are vegetarians. But Chilis had some vegetarian options and we had American Southwestern (Tex-Mex) food. The portion sizes were huge and we could not finish our food. So a lesson for the next time – order less and share!

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S’s dinner – Enchiladas

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My dinner – Veggie BurgerImage

My Drink – Strawberry Lemondae – Super Yummy

Our starters which we couldn’t finish and had to take home in a doggie bag!

11.11.11

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Today is a very special day. Today is a day which comes once every 100 years or once in a person’s lifetime. Next year on 12 December, you will see this phenomenon once again.

This date can be called a palindrome date. A palindrome is something which is the same forwards and backwards. The first time I heard about this was in school where we were explained this syndrome with the word Malayalam.

In the last few years we’ve seen so many people want to get married, have babies etc. It does sound nice when you say it and probably will be something people comment on when they look at your passport, birth certificate etc. but that’s it.

Today is also my sister and brother-in-law’s marriage anniversary. They met, fell in love and got married nine years ago today and now have two beautiful daughters. I am so excited that I can’t wait for next month to come soon enough so that we are finally off on our trip to meet up with them.

Nine Nights of Prayer, Dancing and Fun

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I really miss being in India during the festive season. Today is the start of the Navratri festival in India and everywhere there are Hindus. Navratri literally means nine nights and this festival, in honour of the various manifestations of the Goddess Durga or is celebrated with pomp and pagentry in different ways across the country. Everyday is dedicated to one form or aspect and the festival ends on the tenth day called Dusshera or Vijayadashami. Dusshera epitomises the victory of good over evil.

Goddess Durga and her various forms

Since almost all the festivals that Hindus celebrate go by the lunar calendar, Navratri is celebrated in the Hindu month of Ashwin, which corresponds to end September/early October every year. There is no definite date and the dates are determined every year based on the moon’s aspects.

Ramlila

While the whole country celebrates Navrati, the festival is celebrated in different ways throughout the country. In North India, people fast during the nine days and pray to the the various forms of Shakti by singing bhajans or devotional songs. The Ramayan is also performed during the nine days in Ramlila grounds with the tenth day reserved for the killing of the demon king Ravan. In the north they believe that the nine days of Navratri is the time Lord Ram battled with Ravan and it was on Dusshera that he killed him – hence the name Vijaydashami or the day of victory.

Dandiya Raas

In the state of Gujarat, Navratri is one of the biggest festivals celebrated. Here, a big statue of Durga is kept in communal areas and homes and every nights, everybody comes out to dance the garba and the dandiya raas. Nowadays the garba is rarely performed or if performed, it is done right at the begining and the rest of the time, it’s time for the dandiya. In Mumbai, the nine days is filled with people going to different dandiya grounds everyday and playing to their hearts content.

Image from Wikipedia - Durga Puja Pandal in West Bengal

In West Bengal, the last four days or Saptami, Ashtami, Navami and Dashami is the most important with the Pujos happening. Again like in Gujarat, there are big statues of Durga and communal praying and celebrations take place.

Golu

In South India, steps are created with golus which are dolls collected by the family and kept for the nine days. Married women and young girls are called home for haldi kumkum. It is said it is very auspicious to girl young girls (i.e. girls who have not yet started mensurating) gifts in the form clothes, bangles etc. In the south, the ninth day is also celebrated as Saraswati Puja where books and implements used for your profession are kept in front of the Goddess Saraswati, who is the Goddess of learning. We used to love this day as this was one day sanctioned by the scriptures where you should not study! The whole day the books are kept and on Dusshera, the books are taken out and then studied. In my family, we also wear new clothes on this day.

Image from Wikipedia - Jumbo Savari during celebrations in Mysore

In Mysore, Karnataka, the festival is celebrated with a lot of pomp and show and the Mysore Palace is especially lit up for the occasion.

The Navratri is divided into three parts of three days each. The first three days are devoted to Goddess Durga or Kali (the destroyer) and her different forms, the middle three days to Goddess Lakshmi (the provider) and her manifestations and the last three days to Goddess Saraswati (the giver of wisdom) and her various aspects.

The last day is Dusshera which is considered a very auspicious day to begin something new. Many parents who plan to put their children in school, have a small ceremony in the temple to start their formal learning process called Vidyarambham. We did this for BB & GG when they were around 2 years old. The ceremony had the parent use the index finger of the child to write an auspicious symbol (usually OM) so that that is the first thing they write.

So what will we be doing? Starting today, almost everyday GG & me (with BB tagging along) will visit family and friends for the Haldi Kumkum ritual. GG being a pre-meranche girl is high in demand and so I will take her wherever I go. On Friday BB & GG will be singing at a temple near our place along with their classical music teacher and friends. Then on Dusshera, we will go to the same classical music teacher’s place to pay our respects and start the second year of music studies! And in between all this is studies as this is exam season here!!