Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself – Nedra Glover Tawwab
End the struggle, speak up for what you need, and experience the freedom of being truly yourself.
Healthy boundaries. We all know we should have them–in order to achieve work/life balance, cope with toxic people, and enjoy rewarding relationships with partners, friends, and family. But what do healthy boundaries really mean–and how can we successfully express our needs, say no, and be assertive without offending others?
Licensed counselor, sought-after relationship expert, and one of the most influential therapists on Instagram Nedra Glover Tawwab demystifies this complex topic for today’s world. In a relatable and inclusive tone, Set Boundaries, Find Peace presents simple-yet-powerful ways to establish healthy boundaries in all aspects of life. Rooted in the latest research and best practices used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), these techniques help us identify and express our needs clearly and without apology–and unravel a root problem behind codependency, power struggles, anxiety, depression, burnout, and more.
I have been curious about this dal for a few months now, but the couple of times I wanted to make it, I didn’t have the whole urad dal on hand. So a couple of months back, when I had some on hand, I decided it was time to finally make this.
This dal is rustic and comes from the homes of Punjab and is also called Langarwali Dal as it is often served at Sikh Gurudwaras, especially the Harmandir Saheb in Amritsar. Made from two types of dals, urad and chana, this dal does not have too many spices and is usually slow cooked, sometimes overnight to make a creamy, soft dal that just melts in the mouth. But because we don’t have the time these days to slow cook it, it’s made in the pressure cooker.
Amritsari Dal or Langarwali Dal
Ingredients:
1 cup whole black urad dal
¼ cup chana dal
¼ tsp turmeric powder
2 tbsp finely minced ginger
2 tbsp finely mined garlic
2-3 tbsp ghee, oil or butter
1 tsp minced green chillies
1 medium sized onion, finely chopped
2 medium sized tomotoes, finely chopped
½ tsp red chilli powder
2 tbsp finely chopped coriander leaves
1 tbsp finely chopped mint leaves (optional)
Method:
Soak the urad dal and chana dal in water for at least 5-6 hours until the urad dal is soft to touch.
Wash the dal well and put inside the pressure cooker with enough water to cover it, add turmeric powder, 1 tbsp each of ginger and garlic and about 1 tsp salt and cook for about five to six whistles. Open the cooker when the pressure goes away and slightly mash the dals with the back of a spoon or a whisk.
In a separate pan, heat the ghee, oil or butter and when it heats up, add in the finely chopped onion, stir until the onions turn translucent.
Then add in the balance minced ginger and garlic and stir well.
Add the mined green chillies and stir.
Saute until the onions become a nice golden colour.
When the onions turn golden, add In the finely chopped tomatoes. Mix well and let the tomatoes cook until they become mushy
Let the mixture cook until the oil releases from the sides. At this point, add the red chilli powder
Pour the tempering into the dal mixture and mix well
Add salt and water if needed and mix well
Let the dal come to a nice rolling boil.
Lower the flame and let the dal simmer for about 5 minutes. You can simmer for longer if you want, and the results will be better.
Garnish with coriander leaves and mint leaves, if you are using them and serve hot with rice, rotis or nan.
Note that the dal will thicken as it cools, so you may need to thin it a bit before serving if you plan on cooking it ahead of time. Also the dal tastes much better if eaten the next day, so it may be a good idea to cook it ahead of time.
Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention- and How to Think Deeply Again – Johann Hari
In the United States, teenagers can focus on one task for only sixty-five seconds at a time, and office workers average only three minutes. Like so many of us, Johann Hari was finding that constantly switching from device to device and tab to tab was a diminishing and depressing way to live. He tried all sorts of self-help solutions–even abandoning his phone for three months–but nothing seemed to work. So Hari went on an epic journey across the world to interview the leading experts on human attention–and he discovered that everything we think we know about this crisis is wrong.
We think our inability to focus is a personal failure to exert enough willpower over our devices. The truth is even more disturbing: our focus has been stolen by powerful external forces that have left us uniquely vulnerable to corporations determined to raid our attention for profit. Hari found that there are twelve deep causes of this crisis, from the decline of mind-wandering to rising pollution, all of which have robbed some of our attention. In Stolen Focus, he introduces readers to Silicon Valley dissidents who learned to hack human attention, and veterinarians who diagnose dogs with ADHD. He explores a favela in Rio de Janeiro where everyone lost their attention in a particularly surreal way, and an office in New Zealand that discovered a remarkable technique to restore workers’ productivity.
Crucially, Hari learned how we can reclaim our focus–as individuals, and as a society–if we are determined to fight for it. Stolen Focus will transform the debate about attention and finally show us how to get it back.
After my poem on the same topic, I became inspired to write more about Self Discovery.
Self-discovery is the process of understanding one’s true self and is a journey that we all undertake at some point in our lives. It’s the process of getting to know oneself, including values, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, and one’s purpose in life. Self-discovery can be a difficult process, but it’s worth taking because it can lead to a more fulfilling and purposeful life. Going deeper into self-discovery can transform your life. True self-discovery starts when one evaluates their life and thinks about what’s energising and what’s not, what will bring more joy into their life and probably the most important question, what inspires one to jump out of bed each morning.
So what exactly is Self-Discovery? Self-discovery is the process of exploring and understanding who one is as a person. It involves gaining insight into their thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and motivations. It’s a process of introspection that can help one understand what makes them unique, what drives them, and what they want to achieve in life.
Self-discovery is not a one-time event. It’s an ongoing process that can continue throughout their life. As one grows and evolves, their understanding of themselves will also change. Self-discovery is about staying curious and open to learning about oneself and the world around them. Self-discovery needs courage and resilience to stick with the process and in the process of looking inward, one may learn things about themselves that one finds hard to accept. Discovering the inner self also requires lots of self-awareness, otherwise known as self-knowledge. Self-knowledge usually refers to their knowledge of their feelings, beliefs, and desires. If one has more of this in their life, they’ll have better emotional regulation and this helps them better their personal and work relationships and improve stress management. Knowing more about the way the mind works also improves empathy, helps exercise better self-control, be more creative, and have higher self-esteem. One also becomes more honest as a result.
Why is Self-Discovery Important? Self-discovery is important for several reasons. Firstly, it can help understand one’s own needs and desires. When one knows themselves well, one can make decisions that are aligned with their values and goals, leading to greater fulfilment and happiness in life. Secondly, self-discovery can help to develop a sense of purpose. When one understands their strengths and weaknesses, one can identify areas where one can make a meaningful contribution, giving life direction and meaning. Lastly, self-discovery can help build better relationships. When one understands themself, one can also understand others better. This can lead to more empathy, better communication, and stronger connections with the people around them.
When one cannot live in alignment with their true self, one must spend energy attempting to deny and distort one’s experiences to make sense of a pervasive lack of happiness and personal fulfilment. According to experts, this ongoing effort can go so far as to produce psychological states and conditions such as depression. The goal in life should not be to pursue imagined or externally derived ideals, but rather to develop a more realistic understanding of one’s strengths and limitations. By doing so, one can avoid negative psychological states and self-actualise, feel contentment, and make better contributions to the world. This is why self-discovery is so important.
How to Embark on a Self-Discovery Journey? Embarking on a self-discovery journey can be a daunting task, but it’s worth taking. Here are some steps one can take to get started:
Reflect on life experiences: The first step in self-discovery is to reflect on one’s life experiences. Think about the things that have shaped one as a person. What were the defining moments? What were the biggest challenges and what did one learn from these experiences? Reflecting on one’s life experiences can help one understand their values and beliefs. It can also help identify patterns in their behaviour that may be holding them back.
Identify strengths and weaknesses: Identifying one’s strengths and weaknesses is an important part of self-discovery. One’s strengths are the things that come naturally, while weaknesses are the areas where one needs to improve. Understanding one’s strengths and weaknesses can help one identify areas where one can excel. It can also help identify areas where one needs to work on themself.
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of being present and aware of the moment. It involves paying attention to thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations without judgment. Practising mindfulness can help one become more aware of their thoughts and emotions. This can help identify patterns in one’s behaviour that may be holding one back.
Try new things: Trying new things is an important part of self-discovery. It can help one step out of their comfort zone and discover new things about themself. Trying new things can be as simple as taking a different route to work or trying a new hobby. It can also involve travelling to a new place or learning a new skill.
Seek feedback from others: Seeking feedback from others can be a valuable part of self-discovery. Other people can often see things that they can’t see in themselves. One can ask friends, family, or colleagues for feedback on their strengths.
So, start working on the road to self-discovery and work to be the best self each day, no matter what. Take risks and try new things. Self-discovery is a journey that can lead to a more fulfilling and purposeful life. It involves gaining insight into one’s thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and motivations. The process of self-discovery is ongoing and can continue throughout one’s entire life. It’s important to reflect on one’s life experiences, identify one’s strengths and weaknesses, practice mindfulness, try new things, and seek feedback from others. By taking these steps, one can gain a better understanding of themselves, their values, and purpose in life. Remember, self-discovery is a process that requires patience, curiosity, and openness to learning. The journey may be difficult, but it’s worth taking because it can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
100 Disney Adventures of a Lifetime: Magical Experiences From Around the World – Marcy Smothers
Wake up to the sight of giraffes grazing outside of your window. Soar 400 feet into the sky on a hot-air balloon ride over Walt Disney World. Watch the Disneyland fireworks from The Tomorrowland Skyline Lounge, far away from the crowds. Taste your way through 11 countries of the world at Epcot’s Food and Wine Festival. Take a jet trip around the world.
All these experiences and more bring the magic of Disney alive–and you can find 100 not-to-be-missed adventures in this one-of-a-kind collection. From the most beloved signature experiences–Epcot’s International Flower Show, breakfast with beloved characters at Chef Mickey’s, and getting dolled up like a princess before your day at the park–to the hidden VIP wonders like a private dinner in the wine cellar the Grand Floridian or drinks at the exclusive, members-only Club 33, this illuminating guidebookcelebrates and reveals the best experiences in and around Disney resorts and parks all over the globe.
Discover the magic that awaits, including:
A training session at the Jedi Academy at Disney Hollywood Studios, where you can make your own light saber and fight Darth Vader
Magical meals at a rotating dinner club featuring Walt Disney World’s best chefs, each themed to Disney lore
A 5.7 million-gallon salt water aquarium at Epcot Seas, where you can swim with angelfish, dolphins, eagle rays, and sharks
A private after-hours tour of the Luxor Temple in Egypt, where Adventures by Disney gets you away from the crowds for an intimate experience
Secret off-the-menu items around the park, including a cherry milkshake at Carnation Café and ice cream nachos at the Golden Horseshoe
The ultimate viewing spots for nightly fireworks throughout all the Disney Parks
Disney’s Halloween party, a one-of-a-kind theme night in the happiest place on Earth
A 5K Challenge on Disney’s private island, Castaway Cay, where you can soothe sore muscles post-race with a beachfront massage
A private jet tour around the world, led by expert National Geographic explorers
And so much more!
Along with beautiful imagery that will help shape your bucket list, this fantastic guide includes pilgrimages to historic Disney sites, like Walt’s hometown haunts in Chicago and Tam O’Shanter’s in Los Angeles where there’s a table named in his honor. Plus, National Geographic provides the inside stories of some of Disney’s most beloved attractions.
Each of these 100 adventures–from Walt Disney World in Orlando to the Galapagos Islands to Disneyland Tokyo–will have you believing in magic and wonder all over again.
Memories and Such 