I recently came across this term “Snow Plow Parent” while reading an article online and was intrigued with the term.
The “Snow plow parent” is defined as a person who constantly forces obstacles out of their kids’ paths. They have their eye on the future success of their child, and anyone or anything that stands in their way has to be removed. Other terms used for this type of parenting are bulldozer parenting and lawnmower parenting.
I actually didn’t think this was very wrong, as most of us parents do help our children and try to make their lives as easy as possible. I am myself a snow plow parents, but how serious this is, I am not sure.
Similar to helicopter parenting, snow plow parents also hover and micro-manage their children’s lives, but they do it with an eye to the future. They want to remove any pain or difficulties from their children’s paths so that their kids can succeed. They are the parents sitting in the principal’s office asking about extra courses or for special allowances for their child. According to educators, there is a sense of entitlement to snow plowers: They blame the school when things go wrong and never accept anything less than first place for their child.
Research shows that helicopter parenting can have a negative effect on kids. They are less resilient, and less likely to take risks. They never develop proper coping skills or the maturity to make decisions on their own. Experts fear that children of snow plow parents will have similar issues—they won’t be able to handle failure or solve problems independently. Kids of snow plow parents may quit something instead of settling for second best.
It is said that snow plow parents go to whatever lengths necessary to prevent their child from having to face adversity, struggle, or failure and that this parenting style really focuses on short-time goals for parents and their kids. Their question is, “If I could make this easier for my child, why wouldn’t I do that?” And I ask why not?
I do agree that sometimes focusing on short-term parenting goals will take away from the practice of important, long-term goals that kids can benefit from like resiliency, grit, problem-solving, conflict resolution and coping skills. A child, if capable, should learn to advocate for themselves. When parents remove obstacles for their child they are really taking away that opportunity for kids to learn those problem-solving techniques.
These parents often have good intentions and are motivated by not wanting their children to experience struggle. But, these habits don’t provide a foundation for long-term happiness, they can actually strengthen a child’s anxiety of failure.
I personally don’t feel that there is anything wrong in being a snow plow parent. Even though BB & GG turn 16 this year, I still drop them when they need to get to someplace which is either too far to get there by public transport or is someplace difficult to get to (I mean multiple transfers and unreliable buses). I also helped them edit their early application statements so that they have the best shot at getting an admission into the course of their choice. Though I think I will stop short of being that parent who reaches out to their professors and lecturers when they start tertiary education (or will I?)
I know that they are getting older and hence I need to loosen the apron strings. I am trying, but I also know that as teens, they don’t know (or probably don’t care enough) to see what lies ahead. It’s going to take a while, at least for me, but I hope that by the time GG & BB reach university, I have taught them well enough that they take the right actions to reach their version of success.
Again, culturally most Indian parents are snow plowers by nature and I guess I still have enough Indianness in me that I am programmed to think like that. I don’t want them to make the mistakes I made in life and live to regret it, so If I can share what they should and should not do to get ahead of the rat race, then as I see it, why not?
This is probably one of the most controversial subjects I have written about and one where I have not been objective, because I just could not be with such a topic. Are you a parent who tries to make life a little easy for your child? Let me know in the comments below.
Memories and Such 