Category Archives: Children

Before I was a Mom

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This is also from my previous blog and here I write it’s from a yahoo group I used to be part of (no longer as I don’t have the time). Update: I found a link here and the link has some more updates on the original author

Before I was a MOM

Before I was a Mom
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom
I slept as late as I wanted
And never worried about how late
I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom,
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn’t worry whether or not my
plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been pooped on,
Spit up on,
Chewed on,
Peed on,
Or pinched by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom,
I had complete control of myself;
My thoughts,
My body,
And my mind.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so that doctors could do tests or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t
want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew something so small could affect my
life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn’t know the feeling of having my
heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond between a
Mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small
could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of
the night every ten minutes to make
sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
The joy,
The love,
The heartache,
The wonderfulment,
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so
much before I was a Mom.

And for anyone who’s not yet heard the mom song, here it is:

Reminiscences

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Yesterday, I accidently clicked on my old blog which I used to host on Blogger. So I started reading my old entries. I started blogging way back in 2007 and was a very sporadic blogger, blogging a total of 62 blog posts over a two year period. Compare this with this blog now and I’ve sure come a long way.

In March 2007 when BB & GG were about 3.5 years old, I wrote the following post, and when I re-read it yesterday, I realised that 4.5 years later, it still held true..

Girls and Boys

Being the mom to a girl/boy pair of twins has certainly given me loads of food for thought. It’s quite fascinating to see how girls and boys behave under certain situations – given that the external environment is the same for them both. This brings to my mind the “Nature versus Nurture” theory that I learned in Psychology class way back in college. The gist of that theory is that “What determines a human being’s behaviour patterns? Is it his internal genetic make-up or is it the external factors which make a person what he/she is and how they behave?”

With the Pilot and Princess, I have always tried to be fair – I never made any distinctions between the two, especially in terms of gender specific toys and games. But surprisingly the age-old gender distinctions are very clear in our home. The Princess loves playing with her dolls and Barbie collections and the Pilot is vehicle mad. But there are some blurred spaces – the Princess likes to play with blocks and the Pilot with their little laptop (guess that is because it is a Ferrari model and all the games are car based).

But it is in temperaments that I am most surprised about. Contrary to perception that girls are made of ‘sugar and spice and all that is nice’, the Princess is the more assertive and dominating twin. The Pilot on the other hand easily gives in to his sister, but he is learning to be more assertive now. The Princess can shriek, rant and throw tantrums with the best of them and she is not afraid of anyone and anything. If we try to punish her, she probably will come back to me and I am really dreading her teens! The Pilot is more sensitive and a look from me is enough to make him back down.

It was fun to read old posts. I will trawl my old Blogger blog and put in posts that I feel are good to put here. There are some interesting posts about when BB & GG were little as well as other snippets!

My 100th Post

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This is my 100th post! Woohoo! When I started blogging, 100 posts seemed such a daunting task, and it was initially, because I didn’t blog often. Now that I am blogging regularly (aka five days a week), it’s not such a difficult task. Now 200 or even 500 does not seem so distant to me. Like a saying I’ve often heard when I was younger – little drops of a water make a mighty ocean! Now, if I can only translate this to other aspects in my life! Anyway…..

I wanted to actually write a post on how privileged I am to be a twin mom, but I read about something very similar from someone just last week and so I didn’t want to do that. I will, instead do a post on my twins – GG & BB and how amazing they are….

I’ve actually written a post on the twins, so this one is not so much about their individuality, but more about their twinness. 

BB & GG love being twins most of the time. BB has no issues, but at times GG does not like her brother taking away half her limelight. If she had her way, she would have been an only child and loved it.

They are partners in crime – anytime anything happens in the house, it’s always the other person’s fault. So much so, we can mostly never figure out who did it, unless the other twins tells on the perpetrator or the perpetrator confesses his/her crime.

They have built-in playmates, although it does not seem like that as the years go by and their interests and hobbies change. Intially they used to play together, but these days, what with GG playing with her dolls and BB playing with his cars, they don’t play as much as they used to, but they still like to watch youtube videos on my iPhone together – even if it is a barbie video which GG is watching or a car/plane video which BB is watching

No one can bully them in school, especially since GG is the more aggressive one. According to her, she loves pinching her brother, but woe anyone else who does the same thing, they will bear the brunt of her anger and let me tell you, she can get angry!

Mommy can get all the information about school even though each one gives some information. By pooling together all the fragmented pieces of information, I get the complete sense of what we are supposed to be doing. Also if someone gets in trouble at school, I will know it because the other one will be eager to finger the one in trouble. This will only work when they are in the same school, so I may have to revisit this in four years time when they reach secondary school.

They know they are special. Being twins, they are usually the centre of attention when they go to a new place as most people are fascinated by multiple children. So the first time they meet someone, that person is very keen to get to know them. 

They share a connection with each other that only they appreciate. They can’t be without each other for more than a short time. Even though they are not in the same class in school, they need to know the other is fine and safe, periodically checking up on each other. I hope and pray that this connection with each other stays with them for their whole lives.

Having a sibling of the opposite sex who is the same age as them will give them insights which will be invaluable

I read about the this from another site. I am going to copy it in it’s entity and say why I put this here:

Twin Predictions: Twins don’t only share psychic vibes with each other; they seem to put off some sort of sign that alerts others to their coming. Many a mom-to-be of twins has been told that she’ll have twins before she has that first sonogram or even knows she’s pregnant! There’s something about twins…people just KNOW!

When I went to the ob-gyn to confirm my pregnancy, the doctor did an ultrasound. When the doctor was doing the sonogram, I just blurted out, “Don’t tell me, we’re having twins!” and the doctor looked at me, smiled and said “Well, that’s what you’re going to have”. I had no reason to say this and who knows why I said that at that point – maybe the above point is true? Who knows??

What Kind of a Parent am I?

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Ever since I started blogging here regularly, I’ve been reading a lot of blogs. This is good, because for me, reading sparks my writing.

I like to read parenting blogs a lot because hey, last time I looked, I am a parent! I’ve read a lot about helicopter parenting and this is something I am intrigued about, not so much as because I am one, but because I tend to move between being a helicopter parent and then on to the other spectrum of the scale.

So what exactly is a helicopter parent? It is one who hovers around their kid and who takes extreme interest in their activities. An extreme example could be someone who does not allow their child to take one breath without they or someone they trust making sure they are ok. We have many such examples here in Singapore and most parents here are what is locally called kiasu, the degree of kisauness varies.

BlogHer has a good blog about this, which is funny but at the same sad, very sad! Is that what our future’s are going to look like? I can already see BB & GG recoiling away in horror!

So what kind of a parent am I? Like I mentioned earlier, I tend to fluctuate between two extremes. I am very particular that BB & GG do well in their studies and tend to hover around them for that. I don’t really look at this as helicopter parenting (no, really, I don’t), but more of the fact that this world they live and will grow up in is extremely competitive and if they do want to have a good life in the future, education is the way to go. I am also very protective of them – I do not let them go down and play on their own without a responsible adult there or go anywhere out of sight of me or someone I trust, be it at home or outside. I am quite paranoid about the fact that you have many sexual predators lurking around you and unlike the States, we do not have such lists on line for parents to protect their children. So they have to be within sight of me at all times, especially when we are out of the house, except for the times they are in school or in some class.

On the other hand, I would like them to grow up a bit strong, so I am not too particular about a few germs here and there, I feel that a few germs will make you stronger and to me that is a good thing. I also prefer they fight their own battles and so will not interfere unless it degenerates into a fight.

So what kind of a parent are you? I’d love to hear from you, post your views in the comments section.

Random Thoughts

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Today has been one of these days – one where I am not in a mood to do anything! It’s surprising, considering that I woke up with energy and even coming in to work was good – no sleeping in the bus. Dunno what happened to me at work, here I am at lunch, just waiting for the day to end…

Yesterday BB’s co-form teacher Mr. M called me with a complaint about him. Now BB has appalling handwriting and I’ve been on his back for the last 3 years, but it’s not working. The reason Mr. M called was because they have their final oral exams from today and today is the composition paper. So he was asked to write a composition for Mr. M to grade him last week. He did write it, but his writing was so bad that Mr. M asked him to copy it to a fresh page neatly. BB forgot to do it over the weekend and when Mr. M asked him to do it during recess, he refused. So when he called me letting me know about this, I was embarrased, angry and mortified! So I asked Mr. M to keep him after school (one of the options he gave me) and asked S who was at home yesterday to pick him up about 30 minutes after school ended.

Writing this blog has been one of the best things that has happened in my life recently. I feel energised when I write and after starting the Chiki and Chica series for BB & GG, everything I see or hear around me is material for a story. I really want to write stories for children, don’t know why, but in all my forays into writing, it’s always been something for children, never adults. So I took a huge step and sent an email to a local publisher who specialises in children’s books. I asked them if they want to see my writings and even if they don’t want to publish me, can they critique my work so that I can improve on it. They may not even reply, but let’s hope and wait and watch…Watch this space for more news…