Tag Archives: Psychology

Que Sera, Sera: Embracing the Flow of Life

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“Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be. The future’s not ours to see.” – Ray Evans and Jay Livingston

This song was a favourite while growing up among my friends and myself and we would sing it frequently when we had time in class and when we went on picnics and camps. The phrase “Que sera, sera” (pronounced “kay sair-uh, sair-uh”) is Spanish for “Whatever will be, will be.” It gained widespread popularity in the 1950s through the song of the same name, written by the legendary songwriting duo of Jay Livingston and Ray Evans.

The song was first featured in the 1956 Alfred Hitchcock film “The Man Who Knew Too Much,” where it was sung by Doris Day. Although Day initially disliked the song and only recorded one take, it went on to become her signature song and a massive hit. The lyrics reflect the philosophy of accepting the future as it unfolds:

“When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, ‘What will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?’ Here’s what she said to me: ‘Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. The future’s not ours to see. Que sera, sera.'”

However, the phrase “Que sera, sera” actually predates the song. It was found carved in stone in the 1954 film “The Barefoot Contessa,” where it was translated by the character played by Rossano Brazzi as “What will be, will be.” Livingston and Evans recognised the potential of the phrase and crafted the now-iconic song around it.

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The philosophy behind “Que sera, sera” is one of acceptance and letting go. It suggests that worrying about the future is futile, as it is not ours to control or predict. Instead, we should focus on the present moment and trust that whatever happens is meant to be.

The concept aligns closely with existentialist philosophy, which emphasises individual experience and the inherent uncertainty of life. Existentialism posits that life lacks inherent meaning, and individuals must navigate their existence amidst this ambiguity. So Que Sera, Sera reflects the acceptance of life’s unpredictability, resonating with existentialist themes of embracing uncertainty and the limits of control over one’s fate. This perspective encourages individuals to focus on the present and make choices despite the unknown future, embodying the existentialist belief in personal agency within an indifferent universe.

This concept is closely related to the Serenity Prayer, which asks for the wisdom to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. It is also reminiscent of the Buddhist teaching of non-attachment, which encourages letting go of desires and expectations to find peace and contentment.

In a world that often emphasises goal-setting, planning, and control, the idea of “Que sera, sera” can be a refreshing and liberating perspective. It acknowledges that life is unpredictable and that we cannot always predict or control the outcomes of our actions. By accepting this uncertainty and trusting in the flow of life, we can reduce stress, anxiety, and disappointment.

Adopting a “Que sera, sera” attitude can bring numerous benefits to our lives. When we let go of the need to control every aspect of our lives, we free ourselves from the burden of constant worry and stress. By accepting that some things are beyond our control, we can focus our energy on what we can influence and let go of the rest. By embracing the unpredictability of life, we build resilience and the ability to adapt to changing circumstances. When we face challenges or setbacks, we can approach them with a mindset of flexibility and openness rather than rigidity and resistance. By not fixating on the future, we can fully engage with and appreciate the present moment. We can savour the joys and pleasures of daily life rather than constantly looking ahead to the next goal or milestone. When we let go of expectations and attachments, we reduce the risk of disappointment. If things don’t turn out as we had hoped, we can more easily accept the situation and move forward, rather than getting stuck in regret or bitterness. Embracing “Que sera, sera” can foster a sense of trust in the larger forces at work in the universe. Whether one believes in God, fate, or simply the natural flow of life, trusting that things happen for a reason can provide a sense of comfort and security in the face of uncertainty.

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Adopting a “Que sera, sera” mindset doesn’t mean abandoning all planning or goal-setting. It simply means striking a balance between taking action and letting go of the need to control the outcome. Here are some ways to incorporate this philosophy into your daily life:

  • Practice Acceptance: When faced with a situation that is out of one’s control, consciously practice acceptance. Acknowledge the reality of the situation, let go of any resistance or resentment, and focus the energy on what one can influence.
  • Cultivate Gratitude: Regularly expressing gratitude for the good things in one’s life can help shift one’s focus from what one lacks to what one already has. This practice can foster a sense of abundance and appreciation, even in the face of uncertainty.
  • Embrace Flexibility: Be willing to adapt and change course when necessary. Rigidly clinging to a specific outcome can lead to disappointment and frustration. Instead, approach life with a flexible mindset, ready to pivot and explore new possibilities as they arise.
  • Trust the Process: When working towards a goal or facing a challenge, trust that the process is unfolding as it should. Have faith that even if the outcome is not what one expected, one will learn and grow from the experience. Celebrate the small victories along the way.
  • Seek Balance: Strive for a balance between taking action and letting go. Set goals and make plans, but hold them lightly. Engage fully in the present moment while also keeping an eye on the future. By finding this balance, one can make the most of their life while still embracing the unpredictability of the journey.

The song “Que Sera, Sera” has endured for over 60 years, with covers by artists ranging from Sly and the Family Stone to The Carpenters. Its enduring appeal speaks to the timeless wisdom of its message. In a world that often feels chaotic and uncertain, the idea of accepting and embracing the flow of life can be a powerful antidote to stress and anxiety. By letting go of the need to control every aspect of one’s lives, one can find greater peace, joy, and resilience.

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Of course, adopting a “Que sera, sera” mindset is not always easy. It requires practice, patience, and a willingness to step outside one’s comfort zone. But by making small steps towards acceptance and flexibility, one can gradually transform one’s relationship with uncertainty and embrace the adventure of life.

In the end, “Que sera, sera” is not just a catchy song lyric, but a profound invitation to live with greater presence, trust, and resilience. By embracing the uncertainty of the future and focusing on the beauty of the present moment, one can find a sense of freedom and joy that transcends the ups and downs of life.

So take a cue from Doris Day and her mother in the song and let go of worries about what the future may hold. Instead, trust in the flow of life, embrace the journey, and sing along with the chorus:

“Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be. The future’s not ours to see. Que sera, sera.”

In My Hands Today…

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Mindset: The New Psychology of Success – Carol S. Dweck

After decades of research, world-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D., discovered a simple but groundbreaking idea: the power of mindset. In this brilliant book, she shows how success in school, work, sports, the arts, and almost every area of human endeavor can be dramatically influenced by how we think about our talents and abilities. People with a fixed mindset — those who believe that abilities are fixed — are less likely to flourish than those with a growth mindset — those who believe that abilities can be developed. Mindset reveals how great parents, teachers, managers, and athletes can put this idea to use to foster outstanding accomplishment.

In this edition, Dweck offers new insights into her now famous and broadly embraced concept. She introduces a phenomenon she calls false growth mindset and guides people toward adopting a deeper, truer growth mindset. She also expands the mindset concept beyond the individual, applying it to the cultures of groups and organizations. With the right mindset, you can motivate those you lead, teach, and love — to transform their lives and your own.

In My Hands Today…

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Becoming Fluent: How Cognitive Science Can Help Adults Learn a Foreign Language – Roger J. Kreuz, Richard Roberts

Adults who want to learn a foreign language are often discouraged because they believe they cannot acquire a language as easily as children. Once they begin to learn a language, adults may be further discouraged when they find the methods used to teach children don’t seem to work for them. What is an adult language learner to do? In this book, Richard Roberts and Roger Kreuz draw on insights from psychology and cognitive science to show that adults can master a foreign language if they bring to bear the skills and knowledge they have honed over a lifetime. Adults shouldn’t try to learn as children do; they should learn like adults.

Roberts and Kreuz report evidence that adults can learn new languages even more easily than children. Children appear to have only two advantages over adults in learning a language: they acquire a native accent more easily, and they do not suffer from self-defeating anxiety about learning a language. Adults, on the other hand, have the greater advantages—gained from experience—of an understanding of their own mental processes and knowing how to use language to do things. Adults have an especially advantageous grasp of pragmatics, the social use of language, and Roberts and Kreuz show how to leverage this metalinguistic ability in learning a new language.

Learning a language takes effort. But if adult learners apply the tools acquired over a lifetime, it can be enjoyable and rewarding.
Genres
Nonfiction
Language
Linguistics
Science
Psychology
Audiobook
Self Help

In My Hands Today…

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Bright Shining: How Grace changes Everything – Julia Baird

Grace is both mysterious and hard to define. It can be found, in part, when we create ways to find meaning and dignity in connection with each other, building on our shared humanity, being kinder, bigger, better with each other.

If, in its crudest interpretation, karma is getting what you deserve, then grace is the forgiving the unforgivable, favouring the undeserving, loving the unlovable.

But we live in an era where grace is an increasingly rare currency. The silos we consume information in are dotting the media landscape like skyscrapers, and the growing distrust in media, politicians and public figures, have in some ways choked our ability to cut each other slack, to allow each other to stumble, to forgive one another.

So what does grace look like in our world, and how do we recognise it, nurture it in ourselves, and express it, even in the darkest of times? From award-winning journalist Julia Baird, author of the acclaimed national bestseller Phosphorescence , comes Bright Shining , a luminously beautiful, deeply insightful and most timely exploration of grace.

In My Hands Today…

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The Joy Thief: How OCD steals your happiness – and how to get it back – Penny Moodie

A personal and practical guide to navigating the complex world of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

When Penny Moodie hears people say that they’re ‘a bit OCD’ about cleaning or tidying, she can’t help but feel frustrated. It took her twenty-three years to be diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder – a debilitating mental health condition involving intrusive thoughts and accompanying physical or mental compulsions – and the stigma and misunderstanding around OCD means this kind of delay is all too common.

Weaving her personal experience with the stories of other OCD sufferers, as well as the expertise of some of the world’s leading OCD doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists, Penny explores OCD’s symptoms, stigmas and treatments with raw honesty and zero judgement.

From childhood OCD, shame and medication to perinatal mental illness, relationship OCD and group therapy, this book provides an expansive and very personal insight into the complexities of the condition – and the life-changing impact that best-practice treatment can have.

An invaluable resource for those suffering from OCD, as well as for their families and loved ones, The Joy Thief shines some much-needed light and hope on a disorder that is too often minimised and misunderstood.’Generous, intimate and mind-opening. This book helps those living with OCD feel understood, and helps those who don’t to understand.