World Mental Health Day

Yesterday, 10 October marked World Mental Health Day. The day was set up by the World Federation for Mental Health and it was first celebrated in 1992 with a specific theme.

World Mental Health Day celebrates awareness for the global community in an empathetic way, with a unifying voice, helping those feel hopeful by empowering them to take action and to create lasting change.

https://wfmh.global/world-mental-health-day-2019/

This year’s theme for the World Mental Health Day is ‘Suicide Prevention and it’s something that resonated with me, especially among children and young adults.

A couple of weeks back, I was browsing through a sub-reddit about the O level exams in Singapore and I read a thread about a young person (I am not sure of the sex) who was so troubled about his/her performance in the O level exam, that they were contemplating suicide. I teared up reading the thread and really hoped that this person took the help of someone who could counsel them and make them look at life in a different way.

I also feared that GG would do something stupid like this when she got her PSLE results almost four years back. She didn’t do as well as expected and the backlash from S and his family was quite bad. I had to literally scold him and ask him if he could live with himself if she took any extreme step and that pulled him up. He was able to then put aside his disappointment in her results and started bolstering her up.

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According to the World Health Organisation, “if we don’t act urgently, by 2030 depression will be the leading illness globally.” Suicidal behaviour has existed as long as humans have walked the earth, but these days it has exploded exponentially because of the various complex factors and these days it has reached fairly alarming levels. Close to 800,000 people on a global level take their own lives on a yearly basis, according to the World Health Organisation (WHO) and there are the countless number who fail in their attempt. Every suicide is a tragedy which affects the families of those who commit suicide and this has long-lasting effects on those who are left behind. Parents and family members keep torturing themselves why they didn’t see the signs and what they could have done to prevent it.

What’s worse is that suicide is the leading cause of death among young people, especially the 15-29 year group. It is often believed that it is only adults who exhibit suicidal behaviours, but it should be made known that many children and young people engage in this kind of behaviour as a result of violence, sexual abuse, bullying and cyberbullying.

Suicide is a global public health epidemic that really deserves the attention of everyone – the scientific community, governments, mental health professionals, caregivers, parents and family members. The problem is that such issues are considered taboo and most people shy away from talking about it even if they know someone is suffering from a mental illness. Even in any community, if you hear of someone having such thoughts, you don’t reach out to them to get help, or even reach the authorities to help them. Getting people to talk about a subject that tends to be taboo and about which many hold mistaken and prejudiced ideas will help the community to learn about the risk factors so that they can identify and learn to address them.

Source

Most experts’ say that suicide is preventable and can be avoided Many times, people who suffer from mental illness lack access to mental health services, sometimes because there are no services in their community and sometimes because they must wait months to be seen. So if you see or hear about someone who you think is suffering from a mental illness, make sure you reach out to them and offer help, even if it’s just a shoulder for them to cry or vent upon.

Here’s a WHO link to access a video series on what emergency workers, health workers, teachers and employers can do to help prevent suicide.

And here’s another WHO link on the handouts that emergency workers, health workers, teachers, prison officers, media professionals and employers can do to help prevent suicide

Poem: The Power of Words

I was mulling over the power that words have and wanted to write a blog post about it. But when I started writing the post, I realised I was able to express myself better through a poem than through prose. See the power that words was wielding over me?

The Power of Words

Words can make you laugh, words can make you cry
Sometimes leaving your soul crushed and dry

Words can hurt, words can calm
Words have the power to be that that soothes, be the balm

Words can cause envy, words can cause strife
Words can also sometimes follow you in the afterlife

But words can be used hide and conceal
Words can make you want to do things with zeal

Words can be the cause of revolutions
Words can be the reason that makes people storm bastions

Words have such power you can see
Handle words with care, this is but a humble plea

Words are like bullets fired off a weapon,
Once spoken, can’t be recalled, it has to find its traction

That’s why it’s said to be careful with how and what you speak
Because once spoken, words can never be recalled or erased
Because once wrongly spoken, its future is very bleak
Words spoken in haste, can’t be reversed or retraced

So be aware the power and influence that words have over lives
After all, words have the power to change perspectives

Ikigai: Your Raison D’être in Life

A couple of months back, I came across this Japanese term, ‘Ikigai’ which essentially means finding your passion in life and leading your life according to that, in other words, your ‘raison d’être’ and the term really intrigued me. In other words, Ikigai is what makes you get up each morning and jeep going even when the going gets tough.

When I read more about this term, I thought that perhaps this was the missing link in our lives. If we lived a life worth living, if we did something which makes us jump out of bed each morning and looked forward to each new day, then wouldn’t that be the best thing ever? We would never have to work a day in our lives and life will be so much smoother without the usual angst work generates within us.

Ikigai which is pronounced as it is spelt, is a Japanese concept which means, “a reason for being”. The word “Ikigai” is usually used to indicate the source of value in one’s life or the things that make one’s life worthwhile. The word translated to English roughly means “thing that you live for” or “the reason for which you wake up in the morning.”

Each individual’s Ikigai is personal to them and specific to their lives, values and beliefs. It reflects the inner self of an individual and expresses that faithfully, while simultaneously creating a mental state in which the individual feels at ease. Activities that allow one to feel Ikigai are never forced on an individual; they are often spontaneous, and always undertaken willingly, giving the individual satisfaction and a sense of meaning to life.

According to best seller author Dan Buettner, Ikigai lies at the cross section between your values, what you like to do and what you are good at. When you are able to figure that out, you have found your personal Ikigai.

So how do you find out your own personal Ikigai? Make four lists – the first one being your passion in life or what you love doing, the second being your mission in this world or what you feel this world needs, the third list being the able to figure what you are good at or your vocation in life and the last list being what you can get paid for doing your vocation which is essentially your profession. The intersection of these four lists will allow you to figure your personal and unique Ikigai.

In their book Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life, Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles break down the ten rules that can help anyone find their own Ikigai:

  1. Stay active and don’t retire
  2. Leave urgency behind and adopt a slower pace of life
  3. Only eat until you are 80 per cent full
  4. Surround yourself with good friends
  5. Get in shape through daily, gentle exercise
  6. Smile and acknowledge people around you
  7. Reconnect with nature
  8. Give thanks to anything that brightens our day and makes us feel alive.
  9. Live in the moment
  10. Follow your Ikigai

While the concept has been around for centuries now (it originated in the Heian period, sometime during the period 794 to 1185 AD), the majority of us, including the Japanese people haven’t quite figured it out yet.

There have been studies which say that Ikigai promotes a sense of wellbeing which is probably why the Japanese and particularly Okinawians where this concept is said to have originated live the longest. It was statistically proven that presence of Ikigai is correlated with a lower level of stress and an overall feeling of being healthy. The feeling of Ikigai balances out the secretion of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin and β-endorphin. Some studies demonstrate that a sense of purpose or goal in life or Ikigai is negatively correlated with a need for approval from others and anxiety and studies also found that Ikigai is associated with longevity among Japanese people.

Human beings are born curious. Our insatiable drive to learn, invent, explore, and study deserves to have the same status as every other drive in our lives. So go and channel that curiosity and maybe you will be able to find that sweet spot in your life which is your Ikigai. Once you do, use it every day. Find things to do, simple or complex in your day to day lives which would be an expression of your Ikigai and once you have found and pursued it, you will realise that anything else is just compromise.

I am going to leave you with a Youtube video where Dan Buettner speaks in a Ted-Ed video on how to live to more than a 100 where he also speaks about Ikigai.

Poem: Ties that Bind

Last week was the festival of Raksha Bandhan which celebrates the love between brothers and sisters. As usual, GG tied the sacred thread or Rakhi on BB’s right wrist. This year, he kept it for 24 hours whereas in previous years it would barely last a few hours or at the very least overnight. He has also promised GG that next year, she gets to choose the rakhi she wants (this year, he insisted on a very simple one, while GG wanted one which was slightly more grand than what BB chose)

This poem is inspired by the love I see between BB & GG every single day. They can’t go a day without seeing and speaking with each other and last year when they went for their camps and overseas learning journeys, you could actually see the other being antsy. I now wonder how they will go through the two years when BB will enlist for his national service in a couple of years time.

Ties that Bind

A sibling’s love is like that anchor
It’s a bond that lives on forever
They fight, they laugh, but they have each other’s back
It’s the world against them, to the very max

There are few relations as close and loving as the one twins share
It’s a bond even us parents can’t compare

On the special day for brothers and sisters
They reaffirm their love with the sacred thread
He promises to love and protect her always
She promises to love and be there for him all the days

They are true friends for life, truly entwined
Best friends and siblings in the ties that bind

Poem: The Flame

I usually like have scented candles next to me when I am working. The other day, I was daydreaming and suddenly my eyes were arrested by the flickering flame. Inspiration struck and this poem is the result of that.

The Flame

I stare at the flame, fluttering and flickering

The little glow of light that is so mesmerising

I could stare at it for hours and forget the world

Meditate on it, think about the possibilities my mind is aswirled

I watch it flicker as a gust of wind washes by it

But the little flame is not to be deterred, it does not want to quit

It almost dies out, but wait, there’s still life in it

It comes back to life, full and flaming, it has a lot of grit

I see our lives as a parallel to this flame

With troubles gusting over us as the wind does to the flame

But quitting is not an option, because life is not a game

As the flame comes back to life time after time,

So should you overcome your troubles and start your climb

Life is like that flame, it flickers and looks like it may get snuffed out

But overcome obstacles, get up and don’t get knocked out.