Happy 18th Birthday BB & GG!

Happy birthday GG & BB! You turn 18 tomorrow and, in many countries, you would have been legally adult tomorrow, but since in Singapore the legal age of majority is 21, you still need to wait another three years to be treated as an adult in the eyes of the law.

You both have grown up to become warm, loving and wonderful human beings. I have heard from many members of the extended family how warm, friendly and affectionate you are and I hope that you continue to be this warm, affectionate, loving and friendly all your life. But you are both individuals in your own right. Just because you are twins does not mean that you are clones of each other. You both have your distinct personalities and in many ways, you complement each other.

I see myself and others in the family in both of you. The way you stand, talk, sleep or even some of your favourite things bring to mind me, dad, your aunts and even your grandparents. It’s seeing evolution in action – seeing you both we know a part of us will continue and so on to infinity, or at least till life exists on this earth.

BB, you are a very smart boy, but sometimes I wonder if you will be able to survive in society. Although you are are very intelligent, you are also so oblivious sometimes that I wonder how you will adjust in the workplace. You are also extremely patient and I am sure this trait does not come from me. Life always doesn’t go as we plan and in this last year, you have had some academic setbacks, but I hope you have learnt from these setbacks and are now able to handle the next three semesters of school with the same level of hardwork you can do if you put your mind to you.

I look forward to celebrating your individuality and uniqueness and as you continue to grow, I look forward to seeing you become a mature and responsible young man. You have your two years of enlistment to look forward to and I hope you get the branch that fulfils you and you learn, grow and come out of that experience with much more than you had when you went in. Be strong, be confident, build up your self-esteem and be a gentleman. It’s important for you to learn how to love, be loyal and respect women you date or marry but also know you are worthy of being loved, supported and respected too. I know you have been brought up to respect women and knowing you, you will prove to be a good husband and father when the time times.

GG, when I see you, I sometimes see me, but a far better version of myself. You are thoughtful, hardwordking, ambitious, spontaneous and quick to find the good in others. Don’t be so hard on yourself and cut yourself some slack sometimes. Remember that sometimes people will disappoint you, as you just saw, but don’t be hard on yourself because of this and take it as a life lesson and make sure you don’t make the same mistake again. At the same time, be careful with whom you choose to associate and don’t be so naïve to believe that you can trust just anyone. Make others prove their worthiness to be trusted. Be someone people can rely on, but don’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of either and stand up for yourself.

Love yourself and don’t allow anyone to make you feel less of a person through their words or actions. You, and you alone, are in control of your emotions and well-being. By allowing someone else to taint your self-worth, you give them power over you. Choose your battles. Life is too short to be arguing with someone all the time about everything. This goes for friends and family as well as any future romantic relationships. I can see you as becoming a wonderful wife and mother in the future, but I know this will take some time as you want to focus on school and then your career. But remember, marry the person you consider a good friend and is someone you can talk to about anything and everything in this world, this is far more important than just physical attraction. Be empathetic and put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to see things from their perspective. You will be rewarded in ways that you have yet to understand.

To both of you I will say this, life will get tougher as you move ahead through it. It’s inevitable and nothing to worry about, it’s part of the life journey you will undertake. But the way you go through life depends on how you handle the stress that life throws at you and will determine whether or not you will succeed in life. Don’t have a negative attitude towards stress and always be optimistic about life as being negative and pessimistic will not do anything for you. Keep an open mind, an optimistic attitude and develop a character that does not quit, no matter what life throws at you will take you much further in life than any advice anyone can give you. Be a leader, not a follower and think long-term and not short-term. Always think about five years ahead and see how much you can anticipate any pitfalls. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and advice. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, instead, it is a sign of maturity that shows you know the depth of your limitations. If someone gives you constructive criticism, don’t assume they’re being critical. Take it for what it is and smile. It may be the best advice you ever receive. And my biggest takeaway to you will be start meditating, even if it is just for a just 5 to 10 minutes a day will go a long way in alleviating stress and equip you to deal with everything that gets thrown at you.

Happy birthday BB & GG. You are 18 now and on the cusp of a beautiful life ahead of you. I love being your mum and I am sure dad also feels the same. I love you with all my heart and only want the best for you both. Remember, I will always be here for you, no matter what.

Happy birthday again and have the best day ever!

Lots of love, hugs and kisses

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