Growing up in India, everyone had a daily helper who came in for a few hours a day to clean the house and maybe do a bit of cooking or help. This was completely normal to us, and pretty much everyone had someone come in and help with chores. The truly rich had live-in helpers, while we middle-class people had the daily helpers.

The first helper I remember was Maria, a mother’s helper who worked with us as a mother’s helper when my sister was born, and if I remember correctly, she worked until I started school. Her main role was playing with me and helping my mother with any chores related to my sister and me. She was a young girl and worked with us until I started kindergarten, and she also moved away after she got married. I don’t have a lot of memories about her; I only vaguely remember her face and remember that she used to play with me.

Our other helper during Maria’s time was a middle-aged Maharashtrian lady whose name I never learned. We called her “Bai,” and that’s all I remember of her name. She was a solid, no-nonsense lady who worked in my house, along with a few more in the area. She would come twice a day to sweep, mop and clean the dishes as well as do some dusting and heavy-duty cleaning. Her husband worked in a mill, but her biggest sorrow was her sons. She had two of them, and both gave her grief. The oldest got into the wrong company and was also arrested by the police once. The younger hated going to school and would skive at any opportunity he got. She worked for us for a long time, maybe 10ish years. Then, she decided to retire and move back to her village in the Konkan district. She did keep in touch with my mother and would drop by when she was in Mumbai, and she also invited my mother to her older son’s wedding, which my parents attended. I wonder how she is doing now.

After Bai, we had a couple of transient helpers who did not stay long, and so I don’t have many memories about them. There was this Telugu family who lived in the area who worked for many families, and so when my mother was looking for a new helper, she asked that family, and they agreed to work in our home. This family is truly an inspiration to everyone. The parents were not educated, maybe even illiterate, but they had high hopes and dreams for their children, two boys and a girl, especially the boys. They did any and every job that came their way and made sure to educate their sons. I don’t think they spent a lot of time thinking about their daughter, who was maybe 5-8 years younger than me. She dropped out of school early and used to come with her mother to work in people’s homes, and as she grew older, she also started working in homes. The sons, on the other hand, spent their time studying, though they did help in washing cars and other chores before school started. After school, they moved to college, and the daughter was married off. Last I heard, both sons had completed their MBAs, and one was working in a bank in Hyderabad, and the other was in the Middle East; both were married and with their own families. Truly, this family was the epitome of what hard work, dedication, and a growth mindset can do for you. The parents moved in with the son in Hyderabad and are enjoying their retirement. The daughter still lives in Mumbai. She is happy with her life, though I wonder if she sometimes resents her family for not giving her the same chances her brothers got.

After this family, we had two helpers who came as a package deal, probably. The first was someone whom I called Susheela Aunty, who was recommended by my mom’s friend. She started working for my mom in the late nineties. I had already started working by then, so I didn’t interact much with her. She is a lovely person, and her story is also one of struggle. She has three sons, of whom one passed away recently due to cirrhosis of the liver; the middle son is married, and his wife, who comes from a higher social strata, does not want to have anything to do with her in-laws; and the youngest son had a fractured education and is now trying to finish his studies, balancing work while doing it. Susheela aunty stopped working in our home a couple of years after starting because she got a job in a nearby school and got her friend Mary to work in her stead. But she still kept in touch with my parents and was there when they needed help, so much so that she was also authorised to open the flat when my parents travelled, if anyone needed access to our home.

Mary aunty is another person who is close to my parents. She used to call them the equivalent of “mother” and “father” in Tamil, her native language, and her children called them their grandparents. She would spend hours in the house, making sure the house was spick and span, and my mother had to tell her to go to her next job. They could sleep when she was at home, knowing the house was safe and she, along with Susheela Aunty, had full access to the house; they were that trusted. Even today, after almost four years of moving out of Mumbai, both sides call each other, and when I am in Mumbai, they come to see me and call me if there is anything they need to share.

So this was a short tribute to the women who helped us and who, to a large extent, helped shape my personality. I have learned so much from them that I am always grateful to them and the lessons I learned from them.