The rains are nothing new to Singapore, and these days we have rains most afternoons, but because the sewage and rain canal systems are good, there is hardly any flooding here. But it’s a completely different ball game in Mumbai where each Monsoon means wading through sometimes waist-deep water and having the transportation system crippled for a few days till the waters recede. But there is a magic in the rains and I used to love the monsoon. I loved having it rain when I come back home from college because it meant I could walk home from the bus-stop without opening my umbrella and get wet in the rain, but conversely hated this when I went to school or work because it meant staying in wet clothes all day. The rains have been slashing Mumbai in the past month or so and when I saw the visuals of wet roads and some waterlogged areas, this poem came about unbidden. This poem is a relfection of how the monsoon used to be when I lived in India, so it may be different now.
When June makes it way, newspapers hold sway Everyone has their own theory on when the monsoon will come and play The MRF prediction is hotly debated, Kerala and then Goa’s rains are long awaited
When the sky starts to darken, the mood shift is palpable Everyone looks upwards in an occurance that is annual
With hope and a prayer in their heart, They pray the rain God will do his part Shower the city with just enough rain So the streets don’t flood, causing people pain
But flooding is inevitable, the price Mumbaikars pay For a system built ages ago, in a city then known as Bombay But the spirit of the city during times like this magnify manifold It’s only during a crisis, when you see people’s heart of gold
But the monsoon in Mumbai is something really special To see the waves buffet the Gateway and Marine Drive To get wet in the rains, to revel in the pure water that is sometimes harsh, sometimes gentle This is a time when your soul comes alive
I really miss the Mumbai monsoon and maybe those years When life was more carefree and simple, without the stress which interferes But life moves on and I hope to experience the monsoon once more To live that life of that carefree child and young adult, without any worry and chore!
Today is the festival of Avani Avittam and Raksha Bandhan. Both are festivals which are male centric festivals and which come on the same day each year. I have written about both festivals previously so will not go into the details here. I have always wondered why two diverse festivals – one celebrated in North India and the other mostly in South India, which are possibly the only festivals in the respective cultures which are a celebration of the male gender fall on the same day. Recently I had a ephipany. In both these festivals, the star of the show, if we can call it that, are threads that bind us to our loved ones, to our traditions and to our roots.
During Avani Avittam, which typically falls on the full moon day of the Shravan month, male Brahmin men and boys who have had their thread ceremony done, reaffirm their faith as a twice born and by changing their sacred thread, they symbolically throw away their sins of the previous year and start the year on a clean slate.
The festival is one of the most auspicious festivals for Brahmins and the day is an important one for those who follow the Yajurveda as on this day they start reading Yajur Veda, which they continue to read for the next six months. It is believed that on Avani Avittam, Lord Vishnu has reincarnation himself as Lord Hayagriya, who is seen as the symbol of wealth and knowledge. On this day, God Vishnu who is worshiped as the high deity power actually restored the Vedas to Brahma.
There is a story behind these sacred threads. Lord Brahma, the creator was filled with pride for knowing the entire Veda. Lord Vishnu to crush his pride created two demons Madhu and Kaitabha to steal Vedas from him. Brahma then not being able to save Vedas, he asked Vishnu to help him restore it. Lord Vishnu took the form of Hayagriva and restored the Vedas and supressed the pride of Brahma. Hence, Hayagriva incarnation is associated with knowledge and wisdom.This day is celebrated as Upakarma(Beginning) also called as Hayagriva utpatti. Restoration of Vedas is known as a mark of new beginning and hence Upakarama is celebrated.This day is also referred as Hayagriva Jayanti.
The sacred thread comprises of three strands, joined by a knot known as Brahmagranthi or the knot of Brahma. The three strands symbolise the Hindu trinity – Shiva, Vishnu and Brahma. There are other interpretations which represent many of the other triads like Mahasaraswati, Mahalakshmi and Mahakali; or the three tendencies known as sattva or harmony, rajas or passion and tamas or chaos. You could also interpret the three strands as the link between the past, present and the future or the three states of wakefulness, dream and deep sleep. Some even say that it represents the three dimensions known as heaven or swarga, earth or martyaloka and the nether regions or patala. The sacred thread is also a kind of an indication to the marital status of the wearer. An unmarried man will wear one thread of three stands, a married man will wear two and a married man who has had his first child will wear three. In the old days, when most men did not wear a upper garment, this was the indicator people had about their marital status and if they had any children.
This year, the ceremony of changing the sacred thread was done online at our home. S and BB woke up early and after completing their morning prayers, sat down in front of the laptop where they joined others across the island on a video platform where the resident priest chanted the mantras and went through the ceremony with them. We also received the new sacred thread by post last week after signing up and paying for the ceremony online.
BB had to rush for school, so GG quickly tied her thread of love on his wrist before he headed out of the house.
These are the threads that tie us to our roots and our traditions. I call these ceremonies and functions our anchors because without them, we are left floundering and rootless. Especially in today’s world which is so uncertain and vague, it is good to hold on to traditions that are special to you. Your lineage, irrespective of where you come from, goes back at least a few hundred years, if not millennia, so be proud of who you are and where you come from, so you can show your children and your grandchildren where they can go to.
Happy Raksha Bandhan and Avani Avittam to everyone celebrating these festivals.
As an old saying goes, friends are the family we choose. The role of a friend in someone’s life is great and to a large extent, many of our decisions are determined by what our friends say and do.
Friendship are as important to our wellbeing as eating right and exercising and they also help us grow through each year of our lives. The basic components of any relationship, from our marriage to our coworkers, are all founded in friendship. We learn how to interact with people because of our friends, even the ones that are opposite from us or share a different worldview.
One of the most overlooked benefits of friendship is that it helps keep our minds and bodies strong. In fact, it’s as important to our physical health as eating well and keeping fit. A recent Harvard study concluded that having solid friendships in our life even helps promote brain health. Friends helps us deal with stress, make better lifestyle choices that keep us strong, and allow us to rebound from health issues and disease more quickly. Friendship is equally important to our mental health. One study even suggested spending time with positive friends actually changes our outlook for the better.
Friends don’t completely cure loneliness, but they do help us during lonely times. They teach us how to accept kindness and also to reach out when we need help. Having a steady stream of friends lets us know that some friendships won’t last forever but each one brings something special. We learn more about ourselves and how important it is to have someone, who knows and understands you. A good friend can change our value system so we learn to inject more meaning into our lives. In spending time with friends, we fill up our lives with great conversation, heartfelt caring and support, and laugh out loud fun. When we fall on hard times, friends are there to put things in perspective and help us. When we have success, they’re smiling at our good fortune. We don’t just live when we have healthy friendships, we thrive.
The original idea for a day of friendship came from Hallmark cards in the 1930’s. Originally celebrated on 2nd August, the day was largely viewed cynically by the public as a money making exercise, sales of friendship day cards did not take off in Europe and by the mid-1940’s the day had faded into obscurity in the USA. The idea of a day to honour friendship was, however, adopted by a number of countries in Asia where it remained a popular custom to reserve a day for celebrating friendships and the exchange of gifts between friends.
The first World Friendship Day was proposed for 30 July 1958 by the World Friendship Crusade, an international civil organisation that campaigns to foster a culture of peace through friendship. Many years later, in 2011, the 30th July was declared as the International Day of Friendship by the General Assembly of United Nations.
Because friends are so important in our lives, in 1997, the UN General Assembly made a proposal to make 30 July the International Day of Friendship, which defined the culture of peace as a set of values, attitudes and behaviours that reject violence and endeavour to prevent conflicts by addressing their root causes with a view to solving problems. Recognising that enormous harm and suffering are caused to children through different forms of violence, the UN General Assembly emphasised that the promotion of a culture of peace and non-violence should be instilled in children through education. If children learn to live together in peace and harmony, as friends, that will contribute to the strengthening of international peace and cooperation.
The International Day of Friendship is also based on the recognition of the relevance and importance of friendship as a noble and valuable sentiment in the lives of human beings around the world. The day was proclaimed in 2011 by General Assembly with the idea that friendship between peoples, countries, cultures and individuals can inspire peace efforts and build bridges between communities.
The day places particular emphasis in involving young people, as future leaders, in community activities that include different cultures and promote international understanding and respect for diversity. It is also intended to support the goals and objectives of the Declaration and Programme of Action on a Culture of Peace and the International Decade for a Culture of Peace and Non-Violence for the Children of the World which was supposed to be between 2001 and 2010.
With the growing popularity of social media throughout the world, there has been an increase in celebrating World Friendship day and International Day of Friendship online as well as with community activities in local communities aimed at bringing those of different backgrounds together. How can you, as an individual mark this day? Reach out to a close friend either via telephone or using video to check on them and spend some qulity time together. Because of worldwide lockdowns, you may be unable to meet them physically, but today technology has ensured that distances are now not an issue anymore.
This poem came unbidden to me during Singapore’s Circuit Breaker while on a walk. I really loved the little wildflowers which bloomed during this time when the workers who are famed for keeping Singapore neat and tidy did not work. The public were thrilled with these wildflowers and after letters sent to the National Parks, they have now decided that these blooms will not be cut down in non residential areas.
I was fed up sitting inside, staring at the same four walls When I glanced outside and saw the clear blue sky
I knew I had to get out and walk, breathe in the crisp air I quickly masked up, as that is our new normal and went outside And started to walk to the nearby park
On the way, I saw empty streets and lonely void decks Deserted of the usual crowd of people, the world seen probably as small specksLimited to our own area, we are now social distancing you know We can’t move around as before, we need to keep away, go on with the flow
As I enter the park, I see the wild grass and leaves On the ground, fallen flowers make a vivid carpet which sway in the breeze Peering close, I can see small patches of wildflowers Poking their heads out, fighting to live inspite of everything
I look at these flowers as an analogy of life In today’s world, we are fighting to survive against all odds Just as these flowers poke their heads even under difficult conditions So we should take inspiration from them and try to flourish in the most adverse situations
Be like the wildflower that flourishes inspite of all odds Be like the wildflower that lives another day despite knowing it may be it’s last
Sometime back I received a video on one of my family Whatsapp groups. This was a small documentary about Sanskrit scholars who had settled down in the villages on the banks of the Tamarabarani River in Tirunelveli district in Tamil Nadu a few centuries back. They were fleeing muslim invaders, most likely the Mughals and fled to preserve their culture and way of life. These scholars are today most likely known as the Tamil Brahmins who are my ancestors. When I saw this video, I was instantly taken back to a conversation I had with my paternal grandmother a few weeks before she passed away.
We were travelling back to Bangalore from Sringeri, after a wonderful trip to celebrate my cousin’s thread ceremony and we stopped at a place, whose name escapes me now for a break. That was when she told me, possibly in passing, that her ancestors originally came from either or someplace close to Nagpur in Maharashtra and then moved to someplace in Karnataka, where they settled down for a few centuries before finally moving down south to settle on the banks of the Tamarabarani in Tirunelveli district. So when I saw that video, I immediately thought of my ammama and was very sad that she passed away before I really got to know her as an adult. I did some research on this and this is probably true. I also found writings which said that Tamil brahmins probably came down to the south from either coastal Andhra Pradesh from the Godavari basin or coastal Karnataka. This ties in to what my ammama told me.
I was very close to her and I was her favourite, maybe necause I was her first grandchild and was named after her. I am also told I resemble her a lot, both in looks as well as in temperament and in the way we look at things. I have only seen her in the traditional tambram saree called the Madisar and when I wore one at my wedding, pretty much everyone in the room, including my parents and extended family said they felt I looked like her. She loved reading and was interested in history. I really wish we had some more time with her so I could get to know her as a person, speak with her as an adult and learn more about my family.
Unfortunately, we don’t have any written family history, and those who knew the oral history have passed away. This is a very sad thing and I wish I was interested in this a lot earlier, when I could have perhaps gotten to know my own ancestral history a bit more.
While this is not really memories of my grandmother, when I read about things like this, I remember her a at that point in time and have a happy smile the rest of the day.
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Memories and Such 