The Invisible Woman Syndrome

Posted on July 23, 2021 by memoriesandsuch

The Invisible Woman Syndrome is a social phenomenon where women in their 40s and 50s disappear from public view, in shops, on public transport, at work and in television and film. The invisible woman might be the actor no longer offered roles after her 40th birthday, the 50-year-old woman who can’t land a job interview, or the widow who finds her dinner invitations declining with the absence of her husband. She is the woman who finds that she is no longer the object of the male gaze—youth faded, childbearing years behind her, social value diminished.

At the half century mark, men are typically viewed as being at the zenith of their professional and personal lives, often leading organizations and companies and are viewed as accomplished and experienced. This is in contrast to women whose main stock in trade is assumed to be their physical appearance, which we’re sold and told should be youthful and appealing to the male gaze.

A survey that studied 2,000 women revealed that by the time they reach the age of 51, many women believed they had become invisible to men. Only 15% of the women felt that they had high or very high confidence in any area of their lives and 46% thought no one understood or addressed what aging and older women go through.

According to researchers, many women feel more and more invisible as they age with this issue being quite difficult for some women while for others, it’s not a problem. For those who have always been someone who’s very involved, noticed it especially more. This subtle form of cultural isolation is pervasive yet largely unnoticed by anyone who isn’t a female on the other side of 40. Women may be passed over for service in a department store, overlooked for a spare seat on the train or passed over for a promotion in the office.

On television and in film the absence of women of a certain age is perhaps more visible. Research by the University of Southern California found women were cast as just 26 per cent of characters aged 40 or older in 414 films and television shows aired in 2014 and 2015.

At work, women are opting to stay below the radar over concerns that asserting themselves may lead to negative consequences, according to a recent Stanford study. In that study, three sociologists spent two years immersed in a female professional development scheme at a large, US non-profit, where they conducted interviews with 86 participants and observed 36 discussion groups, plus 15 programme-wide meetings. Many of the women in the study felt a double bind: If they worked on the side-lines, they could be overshadowed by their colleagues and overlooked for job promotions, but having a more assertive presence in the office, could also backfire. Instead, they adopted a strategy that the researchers called intentional invisibility, a risk-averse, conflict-avoidant approach to navigating unequal workplaces. While the women in the study recognised that being less visible in the office could hurt their odds of a promotion or other career opportunities, they acknowledged that violating feminine norms, like being assertive or authoritative when they are expected to be nice, collaborative and communal could have the same effect. As a result, to craft careers that felt rewarding, women sought to reduce the chances for interpersonal conflict and to increase opportunities for friendly relationships within their work teams.

So, what is it about older women that society find so unpalatable, and why can’t the same be said for men?

Our society traditionally expects men and women to play different roles, and a woman’s role in a very conservative society, which even though many of our societies have evolved, we are still traditional in many aspects, is to be attractive and to perhaps have the role of a mother. If a woman starts to no longer be attractive, which is what some people consider if a woman ages, then she becomes less relevant. The same doesn’t apply to men because as they get older, they get more respect, if anything, and it doesn’t really matter what they look like. According to some researchers, women are seen to have lost their influence in middle age, because culture and history says an older woman is no longer powerful and therefore has nothing to offer.

But there is also a positive side to being invisible. According to Doris Lessing “And then not expecting it, you become middle-aged and anonymous. No one notices you. You achieve a wonderful freedom. It is a positive thing. You can move about, unnoticed and invisible.”

So how can women who have become invisible counter this syndrome. There are four ways to be seen and heard according to performance coach, Louise Mahler

Learn to attract attention: A female CEO in the superannuation industry uses sudden movements in meetings, says Mahler. When she is not being heard, she announces she wants a coffee, jumps out of her seat, gets one, and then remains standing. Then, when she speaks, people tend to listen.

Equalise the height: Corporate coach and former managing director of Apple Australia, Diana Ryall, just scrapes in at five foot three and says she asks people to sit down when they talk to her, so that she is not at a disadvantage.

Use movement: Mahler says she uses a technique developed by actors to draw attention, movement followed by standing still. “It is time to start playing the games,” she says.

Mindfulness: Find ways to deal with other people’s rudeness. “I use a mantra to not get angry,” says Mahler. “Forgive them Lord they know not what they do”.

Not only do we owe it to ourselves to remain visible, but we also owe it to younger women who are learning that their value is tied to a timeline that suspiciously coincides with changes in physical appearance. To any woman facing invisibility, remember that while attitudes towards ageing and female beauty are persistently stubborn, voices don’t age, so use your voice to be heard and don’t think you’re inconsequential because you’re not.

International Chess Day

Posted on July 21, 2021 by memoriesandsuch

A thinking board game, very old in origin, chess is played between two players. The current form of the game emerged in Southern Europe during the second half of the 15th century after evolving from similar, much older games of Indian and Persian origin. Chess is an abstract strategy game and involves no hidden information, played on a square chessboard with 64 squares arranged in an eight-by-eight grid with the object of the game to checkmate the opponent’s king, whereby the king is under immediate attack or in check and there is no way for it to escape.

Chess is an ancient, intellectual and cultural game, with a combination of sport, scientific thinking and elements of art. As an affordable and inclusive activity, it can be exercised anywhere and played by all, across the barriers of language, age, gender, physical ability or social status. A global game, chess promotes fairness, inclusion and mutual respect, and can contribute to an atmosphere of tolerance and understanding among peoples and nations.

Chess is a two-player strategy board game where the aim is to move different types of playing piece, each with a prescribed set of possible moves, around a chequered square board trying to capture the opponents’ king piece. Today there are over 2,000 identifiable variants of the game. One theory is that an early game similar to chess called Chaturanga originated in the Northern Indian Subcontinent during the Gupta period, around 319 – 543 and spread along the Silk Roads west to Persia. Whilst modern Chess is believed to have been derived from Chaturanga which means four divisions referring either to the divisions of the playing pieces into infantry, cavalry, elephantry and chariotry, which in the modern game became the pawn, knight, bishop and rook pieces, or to the fact that the game was played by four players. Chatrang, and later Shatranj, was the name given to the game when it arrived in Sassanid Persia around 600. The earliest reference to the game comes from a Persian manuscript of around 600, which describes an ambassador from the Indian Subcontinent visiting king Khosrow I who ruled between 531 – 579 and presenting him with the game as a gift. From there it spread along the Silk to other regions including the Arabian Peninsula and Byzantium. In 900, Abbasid chess masters al-Suli and al-Lajlaj composed works on the techniques and strategy of the game, and by 1000, chess was popular across Europe, and in Russia where it was introduced from the Eurasian Steppe. The Alfonso manuscripts, also known as the Libro de los Juegos or the Book of Games, a medieval collection of texts on three different types of the popular game from the 13th century describe the game of chess as very similar to Persian Shatranj in rules and gameplay.

Throughout history, games and sports have helped humanity to survive times of crisis by reducing anxieties and improving mental health. While the coronavirus outbreak has forced most gaming and sports activities to scale down, chess has demonstrated remarkable resilience, adaptability and very strong convening power in time of the pandemic. Over the past year, the overall interest in chess is reported to have doubled, with more players than ever coming together to participate in chess events that are being increasingly held through online platforms.

The International Chess Day is celebrated annually on July 20, the day the International Chess Federation or the FIDE was founded, in 1924. The idea to celebrate this day was proposed by UNESCO, and it has been celebrated as such since 1966. On December 12, 2019, the UN General Assembly unanimously approved a resolution recognising the day.

The day is celebrated by many of the 605 million regular chess players around the world. A 2012 Yougov poll showed that a surprisingly stable 70% of the adult population has played chess at some point during their lives. This number holds at approximately the same level in countries as diverse as the US, UK, Germany, Russia, and India. Chess helps us to sharpen our mind-skills, reward ourselves with positive emotions, strengthens character, hones self-discipline, persistence, planning and many other important skills that are needed in life.

I played chess for a bit when I was younger, but because nobody I knew played the game, I gradually stopped playing. When BB & GG were about 10, I introduced them to the game, and they enjoy playing with each other, pitting their skills against each other. They don’t play as often I would like them to, but ever so often, I will find them hunched over a chessboard, trying to kill each other’s rooks, pawns, bishops, horses and elephants. To observe this day, we played chess yesterday, did you?

Poem: What is Happiness

Posted on July 16, 2021 by memoriesandsuch

I was pondering about what makes us happy the other day and this poem was the result of that rumination. Happiness is that feeling that comes over you when you know life is good and you can’t help but smile. It’s the opposite of sadness. Happiness is a sense of well-being, joy, or contentment. When people are successful, or safe, or lucky, they feel happiness.

What is Happiness

What is happiness I ask you?
It is the spark from within which lights up your entire being
It is that essence that fills up and bring a smile so you want to sing

What is happiness I ask you?
It is the joy that springs forth and bubbles
Infecting everyone around with that same joy and chortles

What is happiness I ask you?
It is seeing that same happiness reflected in others
It is looking at someone and wordlessly knowing all the answers

What is happiness I ask you?
It is being content and satisfied
It is living a life in the present and with pride

What is happiness I ask you?
It is being with friends and family
It is being loved unconditionally

What is happiness I ask you?
It is spreading the same joy and happiness everywhere
For happiness is shared, is when you become a happiness billionaire

World Population Day

Posted on July 14, 2021 by memoriesandsuch

On Sunday the world celebrated the World Population Day. This day, which is observed annually on July 11 to raise awareness of global population issues. Established in 1989, the event was inspired by the public interest in Five Billion Day on July 11, 1987, the approximate date on which the world’s population reached five billion people. The World Population Day aims to increase people’s awareness on various population issues such as the importance of family planning, gender equality, poverty, maternal health and human rights. The suggestion of the day came from Dr. K. C. Zachariah, a senior demographer at the World Bank.

While press interest and general awareness in the global population surges only at the increments of whole billions of people, the world population increases annually by 100 million approximately every 14 months. The world population today is close to 7.9 billion and we add about 220,000 people to our world every single day! So on World Population Day, advocates from around the world call on leaders, policymakers, grassroots organisers, institutions and others to help make reproductive health and rights a reality for all.

Source

It took hundreds of thousands of years for the world population to grow to 1 billion, then in just another 200 years or so, it grew sevenfold. In 2011, the global population reached the 7 billion mark, and today, it stands at about 7.8 billion, and it’s expected to grow to around 8.5 billion in 2030, 9.7 billion in 2050, and 10.9 billion in 2100. This dramatic growth has been driven largely by increasing numbers of people surviving to reproductive age, and has been accompanied by major changes in fertility rates, increasing urbanization and accelerating migration. These trends will have far-reaching implications for generations to come. In addition, the world is seeing high levels of urbanization and accelerating migration. 2007 was the first year in which more people lived in urban areas than in rural areas, and by 2050 about 66 per cent of the world population will be living in cities.

So why is population an important topic? The human race has an enormous impact on this planet. We control and modify the Earth more than any other species. How do we meet the needs of human beings and also preserve Earth’s finite resources, biodiversity, and natural beauty? This is the fundamental question of our time, and the challenge is becoming more critical as we continue to add more people. The world is vastly overpopulated and research conducted by the Global Footprint Network suggests that about 2 to 3 billion people is the number the planet can sustainably support, if everyone consumes the same amount of resources as the average European, which is about 60% the amount of the average American. U.N. experts predict that, unless we change course, world population will continue increasing until after 2100, with a most likely prediction of 10.9 billion people by the year 2100.

Worldwide, the average number of children per family has come down over the last 50 years, from more than 5 per woman to around 2.3, but the current average is still above replacement level, which would be 2.1 children per woman, and the number of women having children is about twice what it was in 1960. There is also huge demographic momentum since over 2/5 of the world’s population is 24 years or younger, either having children now, or poised to have them in the next 10 to 15 years and any changes we make today may not have a visible effect until a generation has passed.

Finally, people are living longer all over the world and will continue to do so, with a resultant slowdown in death rates. Thus, there’s a big imbalance in the birth to death ratio: currently more than 2 births for every 1 death worldwide.

These megatrends have far-reaching implications. They affect economic development, employment, income distribution, poverty and social protections. They also affect efforts to ensure universal access to health care, education, housing, sanitation, water, food and energy. To more sustainably address the needs of individuals, policymakers must understand how many people are living on the planet, where they are, how old they are, and how many people will come after them.

The theme for 2021 is focussed on COVID-19 and its impact specifically on safeguarding the health and rights of women and girls. The COVID-19 crisis has taken a staggering toll on people, communities and economies everywhere. But not everyone is affected equally. Women, who account for the largest share of front-line health workers, for example, are disproportionately exposed to the coronavirus. Supply chains around the world are being disrupted, impacting the availability of contraceptives and heightening the risk of unintended pregnancy. As countries are on lockdown and health systems struggle to cope, sexual and reproductive health services are being sidelined and gender-based violence is on the rise. Recent UNFPA research highlighted that if the lockdown continues for 6 months with major disruptions to health services, then 47 million women in low- and middle-income countries may not be able to access modern contraceptives resulting in 7 million unintended pregnancies. 31 million additional cases of gender-based violence can also be expected. The disruption of UNFPA’s programmes on the ground could result in 2 million cases of female genital mutilation and 13 million child marriages between 2020 and 2030 that could have been averted. Moreover, women disproportionately work in insecure labour markets and are harder hit by the economic impacts of COVID-19. Nearly 60 percent of women worldwide work in the informal economy, at greater risk of falling into poverty. Women’s unpaid care work has increased as a result of school closures and the increased needs of older people. The pandemic is hitting marginalised communities particularly hard, deepening inequalities and threatening to set us back in efforts to leave no one behind. Country responses to COVID-19 everywhere is critical and will determine how fast the world recovers.

So in honour of this day, spread the word anout the dangers of overpopulation and it’s impact on our world. This world, which we will leave to our children and grandchildren should be one that can sustain them and their desendents.

My Favourite Books as a Child

Posted on July 2, 2021 by memoriesandsuch

I have always loved reading and my earliest memories are either reading or looking for something to read. Growing up in the mid to late seventies and eighties in India meant that other than the school library and maybe friends, access to books was limited. But I still managed to read, sometimes resorting to newspapers and magazines to feed my reading addiction.

I was always reading one to two grades higher than my peers and by the time I was in grade seven and eight, I remember being allowed the read from the adults’ section in my school library. This was a locked cupboard from which teachers and other staff were allowed to borrow books and I started reading books from authors like George Orwell then. I think I was probably the only student at that time who was accorded this privilege.

But this post is about my favourite books I enjoyed as a child, so let’s dive right in.

The earliest books I read and loved are those written by Enid Blyton. An English children’s author, Enid Mary Blyton who died in 1968 has written books since the 1930s and whose books have sold more than 600 million copies and have been translated into 90 languages and as of June 2018, is in 4th place for the most translated author.

My first introduction to Blyton’s books was the Faraway Tree series. The stories take place in an enchanted wood in which a gigantic magical tree, the Faraway Tree grows. The tree is so tall that its topmost branches reach into the clouds and it is wide enough to contain small houses carved into its trunk. The wood and the tree are discovered by three children named Jo, Bessie and Fanny, later updated to Joe, Beth and Frannie, who move into a house nearby and go on adventures to the top of the tree along with the inhabitants of the tree, some whom befriend the children. As I am writing this, a memory pops into my head. I must have been five or six and we were travelling down south to my paternal grandmother’s ancestral village to attend a wedding by train. I can still remember the title of the book I was reading, which was The Magic Faraway Tree and the 24-hour journey (at least the time spent in reading) flew past in a jiffy!

I have also read a few of the Noddy books, but don’t have any great memory of reading them. Noddy was made by a woodcarver in a toy store but runs away after the man begins to make a wooden lion, which scares Noddy. As he wanders through the woods naked, penniless, and homeless, he meets Big Ears, a friendly gnome who decides that Noddy is a toy and takes him to live in Toyland. The other toys can hear him coming by the distinctive Parp Parp sound of his car’s horn and the jingle of the bell on his blue hat. Noddy’s best friends are Big Ears, Tessie Bear, Bumpy Dog, and the Tubby Bears. Noddy has many run-ins with Mr Plod, the local policeman.

I then graduated to reading Blyton’s mystery books like the Secret Seven, the Five Find-Outers and the Famous Five. Of the three, my favourite was the Five Find-Outers mainly because one of the characters used to disguise himself to solve the case. I read these books more or less during my primary school days.

The Secret Seven is a group of child detectives consisting of Peter, the leader, Janet who is Peter’s sister, Pam, Barbara, Jack, Colin and George. Jack’s sister Susie and her best friend Binkie make occasional appearances in the books who they hate the Secret Seven and delight in playing tricks designed to humiliate them, although this is partly fuelled by their almost obsessive desire to belong to the society. Unlike most other Blyton series, this one takes place during the school term time because the characters go to day schools.

The Famous Five is a series of children’s adventure novels featuring the adventures of a group of young children, Julian, Dick, Anne and Georgina or George and their dog Timmy. The stories take place in the children’s school holidays after they have returned from their respective boarding schools. Each time they meet they get caught up in an adventure, often involving criminals or lost treasure, sometimes close to George’s family home at Kirrin Cottage in Dorset. George’s home and various other houses the children visit or stay in are hundreds of years old and often contain secret passages or smugglers’ tunnels. All the novels have been adapted for television, and several have been adapted as films in various countries.

My favourite, the Five Find-Outers is set in the fictitious village of Peterswood. The children, Larry or Laurence Daykin, Fatty or Frederick Trotteville, the leader of the group, Pip or Philip Hilton, Daisy or Margaret Daykin, Bets or Elizabeth Hilton and Buster, Fatty’s dog, encounter a mystery almost every school holiday, always solving the puzzle before Mr Goon, the unpleasant village policeman, much to his annoyance.

Another set of books written by Enid Blyton I loved were her school series, Malory Towers and St. Clare’s. I have read both the series throughout my school days and when GG was in primary school, I introduced them to her and she was as hooked as I was. Reading these books always made me wish I was in a boarding school with all the fun that the girls had. My friends and I would try to recreate their world in our school.

Malory Towers is a series of six novels based on a girls’ boarding school that Blyton’s daughter attended, Benenden School, which relocated during the war to the Cornish seaside. The series follows the protagonist, Darrell Rivers, on her adventures and experiences in boarding school. Darrell Rivers begins her first year at Malory Towers, a castle-like clifftop boarding school in Cornwall. Determined to do well and make friends, her first term is turbulent and the first book ends with Darrell becoming best friends with Sally Hope. Darrell eventually covers herself in the personal, scholastic and sporting glory that was originally expected of her and is head of the fourth form, games captain of the fifth, and head girl in her final year as well as being a successful lacrosse and tennis player. When she is in the fourth form, her younger sister, Felicity, joins her as a first former at the school. From then up until the last book in the original series, the focus is also on Felicity and the rest of her form. At the end of her school life, Darrell is bound for the University of St Andrews with Sally, Alicia, and her friend Betty. She puts her younger sister Felicity in charge of upholding the standard that she and her classmates set. The second series follows Felicity from the third year to her final term.

St. Clare’s is a series of nine books about a boarding school of the same name. The series follows Patricia or Pat and Isabel O’Sullivan from their first year at St. Clare’s. The series had the girls up to the usual English boarding school antics like the Malory Towers and we aspired to be like them.

Once I had finished the teenage detective books, I moved to slightly older books, and the timeline is roughly the time I was about 10 to about 12-13 years. I read the Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys series almost concurrently and my preference was for Nancy Drew, maybe because I identified with her more. Both series were created by publisher Edward Stratemeyer with the Nancy Drew series created as a female counterpart to the Hardy Boy series.

An American teen, Nancy Drew is a fictional amateur sleuth living in the fictional town of River Heights with her father, attorney Carson Drew, and their housekeeper, Hannah Gruen. Nancy is often assisted in solving mysteries by her two closest friends, cousins Bess Marvin, delicate and feminine and George Fayne, a tomboy and also occasionally joined by her boyfriend Ned Nickerson, a student at Emerson College. Often described as a super girl, Nancy is well-off, attractive, and amazingly talented at everything. The books were ghost-written by several authors and published under the collective pseudonym of Carolyn Keene. Over the decades, the character evolved in response to changes in US culture and tastes. The series was immensely popular worldwide with at least 80 million copies sold and translated into over 45 languages and has been translated into film, television shows and computer games. A cultural icon, Nancy Drew is cited as a formative influence by many women.

The Hardy Boys, brothers Frank and Joe Hardy, who are amateur sleuths, solving cases that stumped their adult counterparts. Frank is eighteen and Joe is seventeen and they live in the city of Bayport on Barmet Bay with their father, detective Fenton Hardy, their mother, Laura Hardy and their Aunt Gertrude. The brothers attend high school in Bayport, where they are in the same grade but school is rarely mentioned in the books and never hinders their solving of mysteries. The books themselves were written by several ghostwriters, most notably Leslie McFarlane, under the collective pseudonym Franklin W. Dixon. This series was also very popular with the books selling more than a million copies annually, and have been translated into more than 25 languages, television shows and video games,

These were the books and series that brought a lot of smiles during my childhood. This was a childhood where there was no internet, no smartphones and computers were large and restricted to offices. So, one of our minimal forms of entertainment was books and probably today’s children would never know the pleasure of just sitting down with a good book and spending hours on it.

Which were your favourite books growing up?

Memories and Such

Memories of a very ordinary life

Category Archives: Writing