Mumbai Memories: Music Lessons, Missed Classes, and What Stayed

Growing up in Mumbai, it almost felt like an unspoken rule that every child had to learn a classical art form. Music or dance, sometimes both. It was simply what one did. No one questioned it, and no one really explained it either. It sat somewhere between discipline, culture, and expectation.

My sister took to dancing naturally. As soon as she could, she signed up with a teacher in the neighbourhood and seemed entirely at ease with movement in a way I never was.

I, on the other hand, have always been, and remain, spectacularly uncoordinated.

Dance was never going to be my thing.

So music it was.

Carnatic classical music, to be precise.

There was a well-known fine arts academy in Matunga that conducted classes in a school building not far from ours. It offered lessons in both vocal music and instruments, and for many children in the area, it was a familiar part of growing up. When I was about six years old, I joined the vocal class.

Another girl joined at the same time. She was a classmate of my neighbour and lived in a building directly opposite mine. From her building, you could clearly see the approach road that led to the school where our classes were held.

That small detail became important.

Before each class, we would meet downstairs, lingering just a little longer than necessary. There was no urgency in our waiting. We would talk, watch the street, stretch out those few extra minutes of freedom.

And then, at some point, one of us would spot her.

The teacher.

Walking up the road, unhurried, entirely unaware of the small drama unfolding at a distance.

That was our cue.

We would immediately spring into action, running as fast as our legs could carry us, trying to reach the classroom before she did, as though arriving before the teacher somehow counted as being more prepared, or perhaps less guilty of our delay.

It was a small ritual, repeated week after week. Looking back, I suspect we enjoyed that moment more than the class itself.

I continued for about two years.

My friend stopped after the first year, and not long after, I followed. The decision was not dramatic. There was no particular incident, no sudden loss of interest. It was simply that I was not willing to give up my playtime two or three times a week to sit in a classroom learning something that required patience I did not yet have.

At that age, play always wins.

For a few years after that, music drifted in and out of my life. I would sing occasionally, mostly at home, without structure or discipline. It was there, but lightly held.

And then, when I was about ten or eleven years old, something shifted again.

A lady in my building came home one day to invite us to a concert she was organising with her friend. This friend lived nearby and was known to my parents. She had been learning music for many years and was now beginning to teach. The concert, as it turned out, was not just a performance. It was also a way of introducing herself to potential students.

I still remember sitting there, listening.

Something about that evening stayed with me. It was not just the music, though that was certainly part of it. It was the atmosphere. The stillness. The way everyone seemed to be listening with intention.

I came home and told my mother I wanted to start learning music again.

And so, I did.

This time, it was different.

The classes were more structured, the expectations clearer. There were other students too, including a girl from my school who lived about fifteen minutes away. The group was small enough to feel personal, but large enough to create a sense of shared effort.

We sat cross-legged on the floor, notebooks open, repeating after the teacher. The steady drone of the shruti box filled the room, constant and unwavering, like a line we were expected to stay within. There was no rushing ahead. Each note had to be held, corrected, and repeated.

“Again,” she would say.

Not sharply. Not impatiently. Just firmly enough to let you know that almost right was not enough.

There is a particular kind of discipline that comes with learning classical music. It is not dramatic or visible. It lies in repetition. In practising the same notes and the same patterns over and over again until they begin to settle somewhere deeper than memory.

I stayed with it for about four years.

Long enough to understand that this was not something one mastered quickly. Long enough to feel both the frustration and the quiet satisfaction that comes with incremental progress.

And then, as it often happens, something else began to take precedence.

Studies.

By the time I reached class eight, the balance between schoolwork and everything else began to shift. Time became more structured, expectations more defined. Something had to give.

And once again, music classes were the thing that fell away.

But this time, it did not leave entirely.

Even without formal lessons, music stayed.

It found its way into everyday life. Into quiet moments, into routines, into the spaces between tasks. I was always singing something, humming something, or listening to music. It did not require effort anymore. It had simply become part of how I existed.

And without realising it, I carried it forward.

When I was pregnant with GG and BB, I found myself singing to them. Not in any deliberate or planned way, but naturally. Carnatic music, yes, but also small ditties, rhymes, and the occasional Bollywood song that had made its way into memory.

And then, when they were born, that continued.

Music became part of their early world, too.

It was not something I consciously decided to pass on. It was simply there, as it had been for me.

And when they turned seven, they both began formal music training.

What followed, however, reminded me that no two journeys are the same.

BB stopped when he reached puberty, and his voice broke. It was a practical decision, and perhaps an inevitable one. But music did not leave him either. It stayed, just in a different form. He sings informally, listens to music constantly, and engages with it in his own way.

GG, on the other hand, continued.

And continues still.

Through PSLE, through O levels, through polytechnic, and now university, music has remained her constant. There have been pauses, of course. Moments where studies took over, where classes were missed. But she always returns.

It is, quite clearly, her happy place.

Looking back, what strikes me is not how long or how well any of us learned music in a formal sense.

It is how it stayed.

In different forms, at different intensities, across different phases of life. Sometimes structured, sometimes casual. Sometimes central, sometimes in the background.

It never really left.

And perhaps that is the point of these early lessons.

Not mastery.

Not performance.

But familiarity.

The knowledge that something exists, that it can be returned to, that it can sit quietly within you without demanding constant attention.

I never became a trained classical singer.

But I became someone for whom music is always within reach.

And somewhere along the way, that feels like enough.

Mumbai Memories: Amma and the Quiet Art of Making

One of my earliest memories from when I began school is of my mother waiting for me at the corner of the road just outside our building, a cloth bag looped over her arm, filled with stitching implements I did not yet understand but instinctively respected. Our building was a simple three-floor Mumbai walk-up, the kind where everyone knew who lived on which floor, and as soon as I got off the school bus, there she was.

We never lingered.

I would spot her, she would take the bag more firmly into her grasp, and we would quickly walk back and climb the three flights of stairs to our home. It was a small, repeated moment, but it carried a quiet certainty. She would be there.

Let me backtrack a little.

My sister is about a year and a half younger than I am, and after she was born, my father hired a mother’s helper. It was a practical decision. An infant and a toddler can turn any day into a small storm. But what it also did, quietly and without announcement, was create a small pocket of time for my mother. A rare thing, especially in those years.

My father, in his own way, wanted her to continue her education. There was a path he could see clearly: college, a degree, something formal and recognised. But my mother did not want that life. Not out of inability, but out of instinct. She chose differently.

The compromise they arrived at now feels telling. Not resistance, not submission, but something more thoughtful. She decided to learn stitching.

I still remember the name of the class she went to. Zarapkars. The word itself carried a certain solidity, as though it belonged to a world of skill, repetition, and quiet mastery. The classes were about a ten to twelve-minute walk from our home. Close enough to fit into a day. Far enough to feel like a destination.

Her routine settled into a rhythm. I would be sent off to school in the morning. My sister would be fed and put down for a nap. And in that window, my mother would step out, her time briefly belonging to her.

I do not remember the inside of those classes. I never saw Zarapkars. But I remember their afterlife.

In the evenings, our home would shift. Patterns would be spread out, measurements taken, fabric folded and refolded. Much of this happened in the enclosed balcony of my parents’ bedroom, a space that had quietly been repurposed into her sewing corner. It was small, but it was hers.

And then there was the machine.

She began with a hand-cranking machine, the kind that required both coordination and patience, before eventually moving to a foot-pedal one. The machine sat steady, almost dignified, as though aware of its role in the household. During the hotter months or the monsoon, she would sometimes bring it inside, adjusting the space to the weather, but never the work.

The sound it made was constant and reassuring. Not loud, not intrusive. Just there. A rhythm that stitched itself into the background of our growing up.

After she finished her course, this did not remain a hobby. It became part of the structure of our lives.

For many years, in fact, all the way until we finished school, my mother sewed our uniforms on that trusted sewing machine. There is something quietly extraordinary about that, though I did not think so at the time. Our uniforms were simple: the kind you would not look at twice, but to us, they were the best.

From kindergarten to class ten, everyone wore the same uniform. The only difference lay in the collar. The younger children had rounded collars, soft and almost decorative, while the older students graduated to proper shirt collars. It was a small shift, but it carried meaning. You could tell where someone stood just by that detail.

Our uniforms were not bought off racks or altered by tailors we barely knew. They were measured, cut, and assembled at home. Every pleat, every hem, every slightly uneven stitch carried the imprint of her hands.

Source

Beyond uniforms, her stitching entered our school life in other ways, too.

My school placed a surprising emphasis on extracurricular activities, and stitching was one of them. It never felt unusual to us then, though I suspect it might now. There were projects to be completed, small assignments that required patience more than talent, and this was where my mother stepped in again.

She would sit with us, guiding without taking over. Showing us how to hold the fabric, how to keep the line straight, how not to rush through something that required care. There was no formal teaching in the way she did it. Just a quiet correction, repetition, and the expectation that we would learn by doing.

Because of that, both my sister and I picked up the basics almost without realising it.

Even now, that knowledge stays.

I can do simple mending. Fix a loose hem. Stitch something back into place before it becomes unusable. Small things, easily overlooked, but quietly useful. The kind of skills that do not announce themselves but make life just a little more manageable.

And somewhere along the way, I began to feel that this is something everyone should know. Not as a hobby, not as nostalgia, but as a basic life skill. The ability to repair, to make, and to extend the life of something with your own hands. It is a small form of independence and a quiet act of care.

Beyond this, she experimented. Skirts, tops, dresses, and nightwear. Sometimes following patterns, sometimes improvising. Occasionally, something would not turn out quite right, but that never seemed to matter. The act of making itself had its own dignity.

Looking back now, I realise that what she created was not just clothing. She created a kind of quiet abundance. Not the abundance of excess, but of self-sufficiency. Of knowing that what you needed could, with patience and effort, be made.

Of course, like most things, this too changed.

There came a point when we wanted more “stylish” clothes. Trends began to matter. What others were wearing began to matter. And slowly, without any formal decision, the home-stitched wardrobe receded. Shops replaced patterns. Ready-made replaced hand-cut.

But the skill did not disappear.

My mother continued to sew her saree blouses, each one fitted not just to her body but to her comfort. She continued with small stitching projects. Repairs, adjustments, quiet fixes that extended the life of things. The sewing machine did not fall silent. It simply spoke less often.

What stays with me, more than the clothes themselves, is the shape of that period. A woman who did not choose the obvious path but still chose to learn. A skill that entered the home and stayed. A rhythm of making that sat alongside the rhythms of everyday life. And a childhood that, without realising it, was surrounded by acts of creation.

It is easy, in hindsight, to romanticise such things. To turn them into symbols of simplicity or “old ways.” But that would miss something important. This was not nostalgia. This was work. Repetition. Discipline. A willingness to sit with something long enough to become good at it.

And yet, there was also something else. A quiet kind of pride. Not announced, not displayed, but present. In a well-fitted uniform. In a neatly finished hem. In the simple fact that something had been made, and made well.

Even now, when I see a sewing machine, I do not just see a tool. I hear that steady rhythm. I see that small balcony corner. I see my mother, bent slightly forward, focused, patient, building something one line at a time. And I realise that long before I began writing, before I understood the satisfaction of shaping words into something whole, I had already witnessed what it means to make.

Poem: The Simple Joys of Childhood

I sometimes tell BB & GG that I had a better childhood than them. While the two of them did not grow up with technology like the children of today, they were exposed to it at a much younger age. My father was in IT, so I was exposed to technology much earlier than my peers, but our childhood was one that was free of pretty much all technology, with the exception of the radio and some television. Today’s poem is a throwback to that simple time, when life was about playing and enjoying life!

The Simple Joys of Childhood

In the days of the eighties and nineties’ embrace,
Where childhood was golden, a magical place,
No internet buzz or smart device calls,
Just laughter and sunshine, and echoes in halls.

Mornings with cartoons, a bowl full of cheer,
Saturday wonders, so simple and dear,
Riding bikes freely, till the streetlights came on,
With scraped knees and smiles, till daylight was gone.

Secret societies and letters sent through the mail,
Whispered secrets and an adventurous tale,
Skipping rope rhythms, hopscotch on chalk,
Endless games played on sidewalks of talk.

Library visits, the scent of old books,
Adventures in pages, with longing looks,
Trading cards, stickers, and marbles in hand,
Simple treasures cherished, in a world unplanned.

Climbing up trees, feeling the breeze,
Catching fireflies with effortless ease,
Running through sprinklers, laughter in flight,
Campfire stories that flickered in the night.

Handwritten letters passed in the class,
Notes folded neatly, with whispers that last,
Ice cream truck melodies, coins in races,
Chasing the music, with joy on our faces.

Friendships were forged in the simplest of ways,
Shared in the parks, on long summer days,
Hide and seek giggles, and tag’s playful chase,
In a world of pure wonder, an innocent space.

No screens to distract, no digital chase,
Just the pure, simple joys of a slower-paced race,
In the heart of the eighties and nineties delight,
Childhood was magic, in the purest of light.

Memories: Grandmother Tales 4 – The Travel Edition

I guess I get my love for travel from my paternal grandmother, my ammama. She used to take off as the urge struck her and has travelled the length and breadth of the country. There are three such stories which I remember even today, two in which I star in and one which I remember.

When my sister was born, I was about less than a year and a half and because my mother could not handle a newborn and a toddler, my grandparents took off to New Delhi with me. Her daughter lived there with her husband, who worked in the Indian Air Force and they must have lived in airforce quarters. This would a when India’s then Prime Minister, Mrs Indira Gandhi imposed a state of emergency in the country. I was barely eighteen months at that time, so don’t have many memories of that period, but I remember the name Indira Gandhi used to be used to evoke fear, especially among children. So when I refused to do something, say eat my food, or drink my milk, I would be threatened by Mrs Gandhi. It’s a wonder that I didn’t develop any irrational fear of the government and especially Mrs Gandhi. But kudos to my grandmother, who at that age, (she must have been in her late forties or early fifties) took a toddler with her and looked after her for a few months. We returned to Bombay about three months or so later and by this time, my mum and sister were back home from my maternal grandmother’s house where she had gone for her delivery.

The next story is also from my childhood. I must have been around 7 or 8 and we were travelling by train to our ancestral village in the Tirunelveli district in the Tamil heartland. We were travelling with my father’s cousin for his wedding. My grandparents were also travelling with us but in a different compartment. After we reached Chennai, my parents, uncle and we children were supposed to take an overnight train to reach the district headquarters of Tirunelveli and my grandparents were to take the overnight train to the same destination. My sister and I threw a tantrum at the station and insisted we travel with my grandparents and not our parents. They had to give in, my grandparents giving in to us was a huge reason, and so we took the train. We were ticketless and had nothing with us, which was with our parents. I remember my grandfather talking to the ticket checker to buy tickets in the train and scrambling to find space for us to sleep in. They found space and we managed to get to Tirunelveli in one piece.

The last story does not have either my sister or me in a starring role. Around the time I was around 6, after my grandfather retired, my grandparents decided to go on an all-India pilgrimage. I don’t remember the specifics after all these years, but I do know it was led by a tour leader and was aimed at mostly senior citizens. They would take the train and maybe also travel by road and visit many of the important places of worship. The tour also included a trip to Kathmandu in Nepal to visit the Pashupatinath temple and other places of worship in that city. I do know they visited the temples of Badrinath and Kedarnath and from the north went all the way down south to Kanyakumari. I remember them making a stop in Mumbai during the trip and we went to the station to meet them. I have a memory of my uncle taking me with him to the station and then because I was so upset of meeting my ammama and then getting separated from her, he took me out and we came home quite late, after eating ice creams and chocolates. I remember this was during our summer holidays and because we reached home so late, I overslept the next day and was still asleep when my friends came to call me to play in the morning. From Kathmandu, my grandparents got me and my sister a beautiful chain with a butterfly pendant which I treasured for many years.

I hope you enjoyed this edition of my grandmother’s tales. If you want to read more about my memories of my ammama, here’s part 1, part 2, part 3 and one about my maternal grandmother.

Grandmother Tales: The Maternal Edition

In today’s Grandmother Tales, the spotlight is on my maternal grandmother whom I also called ammama just like my paternal grandmother. And following me, all my maternal cousins also called my grandmother ammama while their paternal grandmothers used to be called pati, the traditional moniker for a Tamil grandmother

We lost my K ammama last December at the age of 91 and this was a huge blow to all of us. Because of COVID restrictions, none of us had met her in over two years and I was stoked to be able to meet her when I planned my India trip in January, but it was not meant to be. My mother had met her in September and she was so thankful to have made that trip because otherwise, she would have lived with the regret of not meeting her mother even though they both lived in the same country.

Ammama lost her mother when she was about 9 or 10 and she and her younger brother were brought up by per uncle and aunt (her father’s older brother and his wife). Her father was a teacher and retired as the principal of a school in the south. She was a very petite lady and barely came up to my shoulders, but had a superb work ethic, one that I can only hope to emulate. Even at the age of 91, she would work tirelessly until late at night, finding something or the other to do, instead of just sitting down and wasting time.

She was married to my tatha or grandfather when she was about 18 or so and moved to what was then Bombay. Initially, they lived in a joint family, but when everyone’s family grew, they moved to a one-room apartment. My tatha worked for Indian Airlines on the operations side and so had to work shifts. They had four daughters, of which my mother was the oldest. After the youngest daughter was born, they gave her to her childless sister-in-law (my tatha’s older sister) who lived nearby to raise her. There was no legal adoption done and my aunt used to call her adoptive parents uncle and aunt and my grandparents as mother and father but lived separately. The sisters used to meet daily and knew of their relationship, it’s just that this aunt was raised in a different building. My grandmother always yearned for a son and so my male cousins quickly became her favourite, but we girls never really minded this.

Growing up, of all the sisters, only my mum lived the closest and so my sister and I spent many holidays at ammama’s house.  I remember the times when we were in kindergarten and the early primary school years when my mum would come to school during dismissal time to pick us up and take us to our grandmother’s place. We would spend the whole day there and go back home after dinner when my dad would come to pick us up.

When I was moving from grade 9 to 10, I had tuition in the summer holidays, so after spending a couple of weeks in Bengaluru, I took my first flight alone back to Mumbai where my grandfather picked me up and I stayed with them for the rest of the summer until my mum and sister came back from their holiday. My father came home earlier, but he lived at home while I was at my grandparent’s house and used to travel to my tuition centre daily.

One of my best friends lived next door to my grandparents’ home and my grandmother used to always complain that when we visited, I used to pop in, say hello, leave my shoes and then run to my friend’s house. I have so many memories of playing with her all day and when I stayed overnight there, late into the night. We played so many games and had so many heart-to-heart talks. I am still in touch with her and used to go and visit her parents every time I visited Mumbai until they passed away.

I was in my teens when my grandparents moved to Chennai after my grandfather retired. They were able to sell their small flat for a larger flat so they could finally enjoy the space in their retirement years. When they moved to Chennai, we used to split our holidays between their home and my other grandparents’ home in Bengaluru. I remember taking the train to Chennai, spending a couple of weeks there and then taking the overnight mail train to Bengaluru where my grandparents used to wait at the Cantonment station.

My grandmother had a great work ethic and I remember waking up at almost midnight when we used to stay over and see her either cleaning the kitchen or some other work because she could not sleep. And even just a few days before she fell and had to be hospitalised, she was working daily, cooking and cleaning. She was very particular about cleanliness and would spend hours making sure everything was spotless and in its correct place. She was also very particular about other things in her life and would spend hours making sure her clothes and her children and grandchildren’s clothes were clean, and neat and would immediately stitch anything that needed stitching.

In the last few years of her life, she slowed down considerably. She lived alone in Chennai for a few years after my grandfather passed away and then moved to Bengaluru to live with my mum’s third sister. And then after her second daughter’s husband passed away and my aunt had some issues, both physical and mental, she moved in and started looking after her daughter. She spent almost 10 years with this particular daughter and my aunt has been especially hit hard by her death.

When she died, because of COVID, nobody could go down and see her one last time. But thanks to technology, we were able to see her death ceremony rituals streamed live and even though it was via my phone and laptop screen, we all could see her one last time. When I was in Bengaluru earlier this year, my aunt who also lives in the same community as my parents and I spoke a lot about my grandmother and shared so many memories. This is the same aunt with whom my grandmother lived before she moved in with my second aunt. I was quite heartbroken that I could not see my grandmother one last time, and missed her by just about a month.

Writing this blog post has been quite cathartic and I found myself smiling at memories of my ammama and also shedding a few tears. Thanks for reading and allowing me to share some memories of my maternal grandmother. If you haven’t yet, but want to read my memories about my paternal grandmother, click here, here and here.