This was a very short school week for BB & GG because of the Chinese New Year holidays.
GG got another achievement award in school, this time for her CCA. This was because of her CCA, Choir which took part in a competition last year plus their school’s anniversary celebrations. According to her, almost all, but not all members of the choir got the award.
Next week is the first common test for her, while for BB, it will be sometime towards the end of the month.
That’s all from us this week….
We all know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. We’ve also heard the adage “Breakfast like a king, Lunch like a common man and Dine like a pauper”. Breakfast which literally means breaking the fast between dinner and the morning is one meal which should not be missed.
There are reports from the Healthy Child website which say there are around 20 – 30% of teens who do not eat breakfast before going to school.
The first meal of the day is very important in providing energy to your teen for their activities in school. School work takes up a lot of mental energy and those who don’t fill up adequately before going to school may find their energy dwindling down before recess and a chance to eat food.
I am very particular that BB & GG eat something to fuel up before school and so far they’ve not disappointed me here. But somehow since school started this year, they both on different days would decide that they are full from the previous night’s dinner and so don’t want breakfast. Nothing I say would make them change their mind. It’s not because they sleep on and wake up late and so there’s time for breakfast. They are ready much earlier than S but would prefer to use their phones to eating, though on days when they do eat breakfast, they do both simultaneously.
I usually give BB & GG the analogy of a car with no fuel which can’t run for long on reserve fuel when they don’t want to eat breakfast before going to school. I also believe that without a healthy and hearty breakfast you will not be able to concentrate in class which will hamper performance in school. This is because those who miss breakfast lack the glucose which is needed for neurotransmitters to function properly in the body.
I sometimes suspect most teens (and BB & GG) skip breakfast as a way to reduce or control their weight. This tactic actually backfires on them as a study found that teens who ate breakfast daily had a lower Body Mass Index or BMI and gained less weight compared to those who skipped breakfast.
So this, in essence, is why breakfast is the most important meal in a day, not just for teens, but for everyone. Does your teen skip breakfast? What do you do to make him/her eat a good breakfast before school?
This was a slightly shorter school week due to the Lunar New Year celebrations in school on Friday which meant they did not have any lessons that day.
I was really mad at BB this week. Twice in the week, I’ve had to speak to his teachers regarding him – the first was his English teacher who complained that he did not complete some work and had also forgotten to bring his file and a book. The second time was his Maths teacher who told me he had not brought back some homework. I am happy that both teachers reached out to speak to me, because, this more than anything else shows they care about him, especially since this is an important year for him, his streaming year. I told both teachers to punish him as appropriate as he needs to know the consequences of his work. Also I have banned him from using his phone in the morning before school.
As for BB, she had a fairly mundane week, her biggest excitement coming from the Chinese New Year performance in her school on Friday where she was one of the soloists. She also wanted to sign up for the SYF Showcase performance which her teacher asked if she and her choir friends were interested in. I gave her permission on the condition that it does not distract from her studies.
Gong Xi Fa Cai or Happy Lunar New Year of the Rooster to all….
January is drawing to a close and so I wanted to share some thoughts on one of my words for 2017 which is ‘Delayed Gratification’
Delayed Gratification refers to the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later and maybe bigger reward.
So why Delayed Gratification? I have read research that say those people who perform delayed gratification on a regular basis are, perceived to be more successful in all walks of life, including success in school and work, better physical and psychological health as well as socially more active.
Someone who is able to delay gratification also is able to be more patient, have better impulse and self-control and also be able to control their willpower, basically anything that requires self-regulation.
I also came across a series of research conducted by Stanford University in the 1960s by a psychologist and Stanford professor named Walter Mischel who conducted a series of studies on delayed gratification on children aged 4-6 years old. In these studies, a child was offered a choice between one small reward provided immediately, or two small rewards (i.e., a larger later reward) if they waited for a short period, approximately 15 minutes, during which the tester left the room and then returned. The reward was sometimes a marshmallow, but often a cookie or a pretzel. The children were followed up for years, some as long as 40 years, and in follow-up studies, the researchers found that children who were able to wait longer for the preferred rewards tended to have better life outcomes, as measured by SAT scores, educational attainment, body mass index (BMI), and other life measures.
What the research essentially confirmed was that the ability to delay gratification is more often than not the measure by which you become successful later in life.
Another study took the Stanford study a bit further and saw that the ability to delay gratification was not an innate ability, it was not something which was genetic. What it was instead, a result of life experiences. When children were promised rewards for completing something (delaying gratification), but not given the reward, they tended not to delay gratification as their experience told them it was better to take the smaller reward first instead of waiting for a bigger, but later reward. Those whose life experiences did otherwise were able to delay gratification and so became more successful later in life.
As a parent to teens, I believe that this age is the perfect age to teach them the techniques with which to learn to delay gratification so that it stands in good stead in life for them later. So how would you go about creating a plan or strategy to delay gratification?
Avoid Distractions
When we don’t see it, we don’t need it. In the Stanford experiment, when the children closed their eyes and were not able to see the cookie, they were able to delay gratification. Similarly, make your children keep away distractions when you want them to say study or do something else. So keeping their smartphones or laptops away from their room may help them focus better on their studies.
Know what you want
Teens are (hopefully) more mature than young children and talking to them about their life goals may give them something to work on. Once they know what they need to aim for, they may be able to make the right choices to reach those goals. In our home, this is a crucial year for BB & GG as it is streaming year for them. I keep emphasising the subjects they need to choose now so that they can take the subjects they need to major in when they reach university so that they can become what they want to do. As teens, they should have at least a vague idea of what they want to do when they grow up. If you child has that idea, use that to help them make goals and try to stick to it.
Talk out of Temptation
Teach your teen to talk themselves out of temptation. When faced with a temptation they know they should not give in to, let them engage in self-talk that they can use to distract themselves. For example, when they know they need to finish their homework before playing games, they can tell themselves “I need to finish xyz and then I am free to play”
Reward Periodically
Some goals are far away in nature (like career goals for a teen, for example) and so will take some time to reach them. In such cases, break down the goals into smaller, attainable goals and when each smaller goal is reached, reward your teen with something they have been waiting for – another delayed gratification!
It’s important that parents consistently apply these tips to allow your child/teen to become competent in being able to delay gratification. I read an article where a psychologist who studies self-control has compared it to a muscle. This means that it can strengthen with exercise.
By helping our children apply their best self-control strategies to delay gratification in everyday situations, we can help them to develop better self-control overall, which should help them become better individuals when they grow up in life.
It was a fairly boring school week for GG & BB this week.
GG’s school honoured all students who won the Edusave awards over the past few weeks. GG was one of them and they school also posted photos of the children on their school Facebook page. GG felt quite embarrassed by all the attention she was getting in school!
BB came home from school to announce he has been selected for his school’s math olympiad team again. They will be tutored for around 5 sessions with a test at the end of this which will be some time just before they close for the half-yearly holidays. I was actually surprised that he got selected as his math marks were nothing to shout at. Apparently, the top 17 math students for the level were selected. It was not enough to be just the top 17, you also had to get a recommendation from your class math teacher.
For the past few weeks, when GG has CCA, she has not been eating the lunch we send with her in the morning. Her excuse every time has been that there was no time to eat, sometimes the difference between the class ending and CCA starting only 5 minutes. I got quite angry about this and texted a school leader, the parent-school liaison person who promised to speak to the teachers. I am also going to raise this question at the tea session with her school principal next month if things do not get better by then.
Have a good Sunday!
