Tag Archives: Culture

Diwali: Festival of Lights

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Tomorrow is a festival, which as a child, I used to wait for. Diwali or Deepavali as it called sometimes is also known as the ‘Festival of Lights’.’ This festival is one of the most important Hindu festivals in the year and is celebrated by Hindus all across the world. Deepavali literally means ‘row of lamps’ in Sanskrit and all households – whether rich or poor would have a few lamps outside the door. The lamps are to welcome Goddess Lakshmi, the goodess of wealth into homes. It is said that on this day, she will roam around earth and where she sees lamps lit to welcome her, she will bless that home with prosperity for the coming year.

There are many stories which are told for the origins of Diwali. In the northern part of India, this festival is celebrated to welcome Lord Rama, his wife, Goddess Sita and his brother Lord Laxman to Ayodhya after their 14 years of exile. Dusshera is celebrated as the victory of good over evil when Lord Rama vanquished the demon king Ravan in what is modern day Sri Lanka. The time between Dusshera and Diwali (approximately 2 weeks) is the time taken by the trip to reach Ayodhya in Northern India from Sri Lanka.

In Southern and Western India, this day is celebrated as the day Lord Krishna defeated the demon Narakasura. Therefore, when Diwali comes on an Amavasaya or a new moon night, we have to wake up early (4:30 – 5:00 am) and take a bath before sun-rise to commemorate this occasion. This day is called Naraka Chaturdasi

As for me, I’m almost done with my preparations. Made some savories and sweets and have tidied the house a bit. Exams are going on, so papers and assessment books are all over the place. We will wake up early and take an oil bath. Then wear new clothes and light the lamps. The children will play with crackers (only the simple ones as the others are banned here) and then visit a temple. Then home for a scrumptious lunch and then…..Study! GG & BB have English on Friday, followed by Maths on Monday and Chinese on Tuesday.

So here’s wishing everyone a very Happy Diwali and may the festival of lights be the harbinger of joy and prosperity in your lives…

Who am I? A question of Identity

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I am all of the following – a daughter, grand-daughter, wife, daughter-in-law, mother and the myriad other relationships that we acquire as we move along in life. But at the core of all this is one identity that is uniquely me, which is ME! The ME who is a person in her own right, with an identity of her own.

This is so not Me

There are women who have no issues with going through their entire life as someone’s wife, daughter or mother. I know some women who have known each other for the last 30 plus years and still call each other as the other woman’s daughter’s mother. For me, this is something I can’t imagine. Imagine knowing someone and then not knowing or worse not acknowledging their own names – is that what life is all about? I for one refuse to call any of BB or GG’s friends moms by the names of their children. If I don’t know their names, I’ll make it a point to know it and then use that. Yes, we’re all happy and proud mom’s, but that’s not the end of our identity.

In India, most of the laws of Hindusim is governed by what is called Manusmirti or The Laws of Manu.  According to this, before marriage a woman is a subject of her father, at marriage her father passes her responsibility to her husband and if her husband dies before her, her responsibility then passes on to her son. Yet, the same Hindusim gives a woman equal rights as a man where a married man cannot undertake any religious ceremony without his wife sitting next to him and taking part in the ceremony.

Coming back to the topic, at marriage, a woman is supposed to be reborn and to ‘celebrate’ this, a new name is given to her. Some families force the new bride to taken on, formally a new name. So the name she was born with and grew up with is gone forever, and is will now be known as this new person. Her old name, harking back to carefree days is only a memory, which is taken out when she visits her maternal home. I have many friends on Facebook with multiple identities (that is have two first and two last names – pre and post marriage) who are living examples to this custom even today. This irritates me no end. Thank God I didn’t have to go through this – although knowing me, I wonder if I would have done it and whether I would have made a big fuss there and then?

This is one of the reasons I didn’t change my name when I got married (the other, more convenient reason being that I had to leave Mumbai immediately and so flew here on my maiden name and since then all official documentation has been in that name. This is the story I’m going to stick to!)

Do you know what they are saying?

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Don’t you hate it when people around you, knowing that you do not know the language they are speaking in, continue to talk in that said language, thus excluding you from the conversation and leaving you to wonder what they were talking about and whether they were talking about you?

Singapore, where we live, is a multi-racial and multi-lingual society. In fact, although English is the most used and working language of the country, there are a total of four official languages – English, Chinese (or Mandarin to be exact), Malay and Tamil. But given that the Chinese make up the largest percentage of the population (about 80%), it is inevitable that you get to hear a whole lot of Chinese spoken in the island.

But what gets my goat is this – when almost every citizen below  the age of 50 has been educated completely in English, you still have people who go around talking in one language when there are people of other races around you, who you know can’t speak or understand the language! How rude and insensitive is this? This happens all over the country and the biggest culprits are the Chinese (since they are the majority population). But I find this happening with Indians (speaking the language of their specific community), Malays and others too.

My master plan for GG & BB to avoid this is to have them take Chinese in school. Given that they will be spending their lives in this country (or not), it’s always better for them to know the language. Even if they do not learn it thoroughly, they should still learn enough to be able to carry on a conversation and in a sneaky way know what others are talking about them! What do you think?

Have you ever been in a situation where people around you are talking in a language you know zilch about and you go nuts trying to figure out what they are saying?

P.S: This is my 99th post and so the post tomorrow is special ‘coz it’s my 100th post! Now wait for something special to be written!

Neighbours all

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For some wierd reason I feel like posting on neighbours, so please bear with me.

Housing in Singapore is of two very distinct types – public and private. We live in a Housing & Development Board (HDB) Executive Apartment type of flat. It’s not too bad and around 80% of people in Singapore live in these kinds of flats. Our previous home was also an HDB flat and when we wanted to move to a bigger flat, we decided to go to HDB again since we had not taken the subsidy they give locals and so wanted to use that before we move to private housing.

We’ve lived in our present home for the past year and a half and till  today I barely know our neighbours. The block we live in is in an L shaped arrangement with the longer side having around 7 duplex type of flats and three in the shorter side (including ours) which are all on one level.

The day we shifted, we met the other two neighbours on our side of the building. They seemed nice and we exchanged hellos when we met or when the doors opened. Then one of them moved away (we didn’t know as we were on a holiday and when we came back, the neighbour was gone!). As for the others on the floor, we do not know ANY OF THEM! Funny right?

At our previous place, since I was working full-time, we also had a hello-bye relationship with our neighbours (there were a total of 6 flats on our floor including ours). But as soon as BB & GG were born, we became very friendly with them and the 6 years we spent there after the children’s birth were fun!

Contrast this with my home in Mumbai. We live in a building with 19 flats and almost all have been there for as long our family has been there (give or take around 60 years, the age of the building). I’ve grown up there and know every single person in the building. There was no fear of the unknown and all the adults living there were surrogate uncles/aunties/grandmas and grandpas! When we were younger and my parents had to go out for the evening, we used to go to one of these neighbours homes and if it became late, even slept over and came back home in the morning. When my grandparents passed away and my parents had to go to the city they were living in, it was to this particular uncle/aunty’s care that my mom left us in. She would bring us food and make sure we went to college and later to work. It didn’t matter to them that we were adults by then, my parents had left me and my sister in their care and they were going to look after us, come what may!

I miss that sense of camaraderie that we had, here it feels like every one just lives their own lives and noone is interested in the other person’s life. But then if I want to be really honest, I am also more of a self contained person and prefer my own company and that of my family’s to others…So guess this is quid pro quid…

Saraswati Puja

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Today is the last day of the Navaratri festival with the Saraswati Puja and Dusshera tomorrow. Then it’s the anticipation of Diwali!


Saraswati Puja is celebrated all over India and across the world today with the day being dedicated to Goddess Saraswathi. In Hinduism, Saraswathi is the goddess of knowledge, wisdom, studies, science and technology, music, arts etc. She is also said to be the consort of Lord Brahma, who is said to be the creator of the world in Hindy mythology. Goddess Saraswati is depicted as a beautiful woman wearing a spotless white saree symbolising the purity of knowledge with four hands embodying mind, intellect, ego and alertness. She is usually seated on a white lotus or a white swan which is also her vehicle of transport, with a peacock close to her. She also holds the following in her four hands – a book, which is usually the vedas representing universal, eternal and true knowledge as well as her power over knowledge and the sciences; a rudrashka or rosary representing the power of spirituality, a veena, which is a musical intrument representingin her perfection in all arts and sciences and a pot of gangajal or sacred water which represent creative adn purification powers. Unlike most Goddesses in Hindu mythology, she is usually dressed very simply and not adorned with loads of jewellery showing that she prefers the intellectual and the artistic over the material.

Saraswati is also the main goodess of the Sringeri Sarada Peetham, which is what my family has been following for generations and the Jagadguru Shankaracharya at the Sarada Peetham is whom we consider our guru. I’ll post more about this later, just is just a teaser.

In South India and our brahmin community, we worship the Goddess on the ninth day of Navaratri. On that day, after bath, we keep books and some new clothes at her feet and worship her. I made a payasam today as the prasad. On this day, children also do not look at their books since she is supposed to be sitting on them and to use them is to disrespect her. The next day, we have to read a couple of pages from each book that was kept at the pooja so that she blesses us with good intellect and the most important thing for children – marks!

I’ve kept BB & GG’s books at the altar and asked them to pray to Saraswati Ummachi (God) so that she can bless them. They both prayed “Ummachi, please bless us so that that we can study well and get good marks in our exams“.

One of the first shlokas that I learnt from my ammama and have taught GG & BB is the one about Goddess Saraswati. It goes like this:

Saraswati namasthubiyam, varade kamarupini
Vidyarambham karishyaami, siddhir bhavatume sadaa

O Goddess Saraswati, salutations to you, the giver of boons, the one who fulfills all desires. I begin my studies. May there always be accomplishments for me.

The picture in this post is the picture of Goddess Saraswati in my pooja.