A Cousin a Day keeps the Boredom Away

“Nobody will understand the craziness of your family better than your cousins”

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Cousins are your friends by blood. Not everyone, especially these days of smaller families have cousins who are with them through thick and thin.

My mom is the oldest of four sisters and my dad is the oldest of a younger brother and sister. We’re closer to my mom’s family. My dad lost his sister when I was in school and his brother moved away when I was real young and now we are not in contact with him or his family! I feel real sad that I don’t know my cousins from his side – I have not met them (two boys) in the last 15-18 years and they must be adults now (I last saw them when they were 4 & 8!) I sometimes joke with my dad that if I ever pass them in the street, they would be random strangers to me, that’s how out of touch we are!

I’m the oldest of eight cousins from my maternal side, dominated by girls. Between me and the youngest there’s an 11 year gap. We’re six girls and two boys.

Growing up, we were close, but since we’d meet maybe once a year if lucky, it was not that “tell you all my secrets” type of closeness. Plus, because of the eleven year gap, when I was say fifteen, my youngest cousins were like three or four! I even have memories of my second last cousin’s birth! I remember seeing her as a new-born in the hospital and since she was born in early March, I distinctly remember going to my grandmother’s home for our summer holidays in April/May and being with her. I have memories of begging my aunt to let me hold her and I would sit patiently with her on my lap when my aunt went for a bath or did something else.

However, as we grew up, the age gap somehow closed and we could relate to each other and instead of growing apart, we grew closer!

Thanks to Facebook, emails and social media we got even closer, sharing photos and milestones. It was great, but somehow we were not able to meet due to distances, schedules and what have you. Currently, we’re scattered all over the world – Hong Kong, Singapore, India, UK, USA and Canada – you get the picture right, when someone is free in one part of the world, the others are busy in another!

However it was last year, when one of my youngest cousins got married, we really started connecting with each other. Before the wedding, we started a Whatsapp group to discuss what to give her. This was something we started when the first one of us got married. In addition to the family gift with the parents, we wanted to give something special to our cousin and at that time, with hardly anyone working, it used to be small. Now that we can afford it, it’s more expensive.

It was great fun at the wedding – we had the time of our lives and missed the one cousin who could not make it. Then we decided to keep in touch more since it was so much fun and since then there’s hardly a day when texts are not pinging their way across the globe.

Cousins brighten up your life so much, that I hope BB & GG also have the same relationship with their cousins, both first and second (aka children of my cousins)

Meditation….Bringing the mind home

One of my New Year resolutions was to learn to mediate and I tried doing that on Tuesday night just before I went to bed. I quickly Googled ‘how to meditate‘ and looked up this site. It looked quite easy to me – sit quietly in a place for 2 minutes and concentrate on your breathing.

Meditation has lots of benefits I learnt – physical mental and spiritual. You can go to the Art of Living site here, here and here for more information on meditation and its benefits, but my favorites are:

  • Meditation removes accumulated stress from your body and prevents new stress
  • Lowers blood pressure, anxiety attacks, decreases tension-related problems, improves mood, behavior, energy levels and the immune system
  • Increases creativity, happiness and intuition. You gain clarity and shapens your mind which also grants peace to your mind.
  • Lastly meditation makes you aware that your inner attitude determines your happiness!

Well, I set my phone alarm for 5 minutes and tried to concentrate on my breathing. Along with that, I tried to focus on an image – usually for meditation, you focus on OM, but I decided to focus on the image of my favourite God – the idol of Lord Ganesh as Siddhi Vinayak at the Siddhi Vinayak temple in Mumbai. It worked for about 3 minutes, when my concentration broke and I peeked at the timer to see the amount of time left.

Going to try it again tonight, maybe start at 3 minutes and work my way up. Maybe see if there any meditation apps I could use? I am also using the Clear app on my phone to remind me to do it – I’ve set a three times a week target, but my real target will be eventually to do it daily.

I’ll come back and report maybe halfway down the year if this has made any difference to my life, but I slept well last night – so much that when S was dropping me to work, I was closing my eyes and dozing off….

Good Bye 2013…..Hello 2014

I type this as I wait for the year to end, 2013 to give way to 2014 and think back on the year that was and the promise of a new year.

2013 has been a year of ups and downs and my prayer for 2014 is to have a more stable year, with more ups than downs and a gentler trajectory to the year than 203 was.

2013 for me started badly. I was depressed and despondent, having been out of a job for about a year then. I had rashly left my previous position, thinking it would not be so difficult to get a new one. I was so wrong, so by the time 2013 rolled, I was reaching the depths of my despondency, thinking I won’t get another position. Then came the interview call for my current position. I didn’t have anything better to do that day and went for the interview anyway. I was not too hung up on the position as it
was a contract one, and I was looking for a full time one. But they liked me so much that for the first time in my life, I was in a superior position during an interview. So I accepted and this started my year at this MNC. It’s been a good year so far, colleagues and my boss have been good. After a long time, I have been appreciated for what I’ve been doing. Sometimes wonder how certain people reach positions of being other people’s bosses when they clearly have no idea on how to motivate and retain talent! Guess all those out there may you glad for people like my current reporting manager. My yearly appraisal is coming up soon, so we’ll know exactly how we’ll I’ve done, but if I my half year appraisal is the benchmark, then I should not do too badly 🙂

The children also have had a mixed year. The girl did fairly well, even getting a decent score in her most dreaded subject, Hindi, while the boy continued his failing streak! They were streamed at the end of this year, with the boy going to the third best class (he would have made it to the second best if he had just passed Hindi) and the girl to the fourth best. Hope they both do better in 2014 than in 2013. I’ve started them on private tuitions for Maths and maybe Science, let’s see if this makes any difference to their scores in P5

My personal goals for this year are all health-based ones. I hope this is the year that I finally turn around my life. I’ve been overweight all my life, except for a short time when I was at my optimal weight. So this year I plan on walking 30 minutes daily, and starting from week 1, will run for a minute and increase that by 1 minute every week. That week around week 30 (just around august I think) I should be running all 30 mins. Once I can do that for a month consistently, I’ll increase that by 3-5 mins every week. Hopefully in the next few years I can run my first marathon 🙂

Other health related goals will include taking care of my diet and more care about my skin….

I also want to start making time for my interests and hobbies, one of which is writing (both this blog plus other writing). I guess I won’t be able to do much until the children complete their PSLE, but baby steps…

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year and hoping 2014 will be brilliant for you!!

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Happy New Year…

The world has no ended, so here we are in 2013! Happy New Year everyone…

2012 was a roller coaster ride for me personally where I went from being gainfully employed full-time to becoming a SAHM. I connected immensely with my children during this period, but the downside was the loss of my career and income.

What will 2013 bring for me – well I do not have a crystal ball to look into, but I do know that it will definitely be better for me than the year that went by.

I did do some new year resolutions and exercising regularly, eating healthily and writing more regularly were the usual suspects. Another one I want to do this year is spend some time everyday reflecting on things to be thankful for. Hopefully I can follow this…

I finally did i…

Aside

I finally did it! After months of agonising over it, I took a huge – and I mean a really HUGE leap of faith and did it on Monday. What did I just do? Well, I resigned from my current employer without having a new one all lined up. This is the first time in my career that I’ve done this. And it seems not a moment too soon. My domestic helper who returned back from her holiday after unexpectedly getting married has been giving me so many problems. Today she crossed all limits. She likes to dish out insults to me all the time, but will not take anything. So I’ve decided to terminate her services and send her back to let her transfer to another employer.

So now I’ve to review what I want to do in life plus search a new helper. Wish me luck…