In My Hands Today…

Beneath My Mother’s Feet – Amjed Qamar

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“Our lives will always be in the hands of our mothers, whether we like it or not.”

Nazia doesn’t mind when her friends tease and call her a good beti, a dutiful daughter. Growing up in a working-class family in Karachi, Pakistan, Nazia knows that obedience is the least she can give to her mother, who has spent years saving and preparing for her dowry. But every daughter must grow up, and for fourteen-year-old Nazia that day arrives suddenly when her father gets into an accident at work, and her family finds themselves without money for rent or food.

Being the beti that she is, Nazia drops out of school to help her mother clean houses, all the while wondering when she managed to lose control of her life that had been full of friends and school. Working as a maid is a shameful obligation that could be detrimental to her future — after all, no one wants a housekeeper for a daughter-in-law. As Nazia finds herself growing up much too quickly, the lessons of hardship that seem unbearable turn out to be a lot more liberating than she ever imagined.

In My Hands Today…

How It Happened – Shazaf Fatima Haider

17280214Dadi, the imperious matriarch of the Bandian family in Karachi, swears by the virtues of arranged marriage. All her ancestors – including a dentally and optically challenged aunt – have been perfectly well-served by such arrangements. But her grandchildren are harder to please.

Haroon, the apple of her eye, has to suffer half a dozen candidates until he finds the perfect Shia-Syed girl of his dreams. But it is Zeba, his sister, who has the tougher time, as she is accosted by a bevvy of suitors, including a potbellied cousin and a banker who reeks of sesame oil.

Told by the witty, hawk-eyed Saleha, the precocious youngest sibling, this is a romantic, amusing and utterly delightful story about how marriages are made and unmade—not in heaven, but in the drawing room and over the phone.

In My Hands Today…

The Blind Man’s Garden – Nadeem Aslam

15798312Jeo and Mikal are foster brothers from a small town in Pakistan. Though they were inseparable as children, their adult lives have diverged: Jeo is a dedicated medical student, married a year; Mikal has been a vagabond since he was fifteen, in love with a woman he can’t have. But when Jeo decides to sneak across the border into Afghanistan—not to fight with the Taliban against the Americans, rather than help care for wounded civilians—Mikal determines to go with him, to protect him.

Yet Jeo’s and Mikal’s good intentions cannot keep them out of harm’s way. As the narrative takes us from the wilds of Afghanistan to the heart of the family left behind—their blind father, haunted by the death of his wife and by the mistakes he may have made in the name of Islam and nationhood; Mikal’s beloved brother and sister-in-law; Jeo’s wife, whose increasing resolve helps keep the household running, and her superstitious mother—we see all of these lives upended by the turmoil of war.

In My Hands Today…

Thinner Than Skin – Uzma Aslam Khan

Clockroot CoverIn the wilds of Northern Pakistan, where glaciers are born of mating ice, two young lovers shatter the tenuous peace of a nomadic community

Thinner than Skin is a riveting novel about identity and belonging. It’s also a love story: between a young Pakistani man trying to make his way as a photographer in America, and the daughter of a Pakistani father and German mother brought up in the US, who wants to return to a country she’s never seen. Together they make the trip to Pakistan, where a chance meeting with a young nomad changes their lives, and the lives of those around them, forever. The novel is also a love letter to the wilds of Northern Pakistan, to glaciers, to the old Silk Road, and to the nomadic life of the indigenous people in the Northern territories, where China encroaches and Pakistanis, Uzbeks, Russians, Chinese, and Afghans all come together to trade.

Television Shows

I have never been a huge television fan. Growing up, my dad was against all forms of TV, believing it to be not very good for growing girls and so we were on a very restricted schedule for television watching. The television was only switched on in the evening and we could only watch approved channels and shows.

Of course, most of this was during the era of a single (and later two) state sponsored channels. I remember the happiness people felt when the Indian television industry was opened we got access to a plethora of channels.

I just read the above paragraphs and started laughing! BB & GG can never understand this if I ever explain my growing up days to them. Actually, they too rarely watch television, preferring to get their entertainment through YouTube and other streaming devices.

Anyway, last year when I was bored, one day, I randomly started watching videos on YouTube which popped up on the Recommended feed and I got hooked on to watching dramas from Pakistan. These dramas are in their official language, Urdu, but because it is so similar to the Indian language of Hindi, if you are fluent in Hindi, you understand around 80-90% of what is being said. The rest you can infer from what is happening on the screen. In fact, since the time I have started watching these serials, I can find myself using Urdu words unconsciously!

I now watch dramas and soaps from two channels and love most of them. Unlike the Indian dramas and soaps which were mostly formulaic and with very predictable story lines (mostly about a plucky and pure heroine and her Mother-in-law who spends all her time plotting against her) the dramas from the channels I watch have very good story lines. The best part, unlike most Indian serials, these dramas have a clearly defined story with a start, middle and end and most end in a few months so you never ever got bored of them. This is unlike some serials which have been going on for more than five years!

Stories and plots are also quite sensitively taken and I am surprised (in a good way) to find strong women characters in these serials. The story lines are varied from plots which are sappy love stories to revenge dramas, to a very well taken drama about a girl who is punished for liking a boy and who, against all odds becomes a doctor. Even at this point, she is being discriminated against and I would love to see her reach her goals and cock a finger at her detractors.

What I don’t like about these dramas are probably very feminist in nature, but it is the concept that a girl or even a grown adult belonging to the male of her family; her father first, then her husband and if she doesn’t have a father or husband, then it’s her brother who decides her life. It doesn’t really give the woman, especially those who belong to lower strata of society a voice and many dramas show if a woman is self-sufficient, then she has to endure and wade through the taunts of the people in the society she lives in. Women who are from the more economically advantaged families have it a slightly better though. This is true to a large extent in India also, especially in the semi-urban and rural areas where women are seen as mere chattels and wearing western clothes, using and speaking a mobile phone is seen as the promiscuous behaviour they indulge in. I can go on and on about this, but this is material for another post!

Another thing I don’t like is the concept of triple talaq or the concept where a man holds the woman he is married to absolute hostage because he has the power to divorce her by uttering the words “I divorce you” thrice. In almost every drama or serial I have seen, at some point or the other, a male character will threaten his wife that if she does not do <insert demand by husband> he will divorce her and throw her out of his home. It does not matter if the man was drunk, angry or not in his senses, or even if uttered between just the two of them, the words once uttered become irrevocable. I wonder if this is the real reality in such societies or is something that a director uses to create more drama. I hope it is the latter because such scenes make me as a woman quite upset!

So if anyone wants to want dramas and serials which are different from the typical Indian soaps you see, just look out for Pakistani dramas. You also get a glimpse (even if it is manufactured and not absolutely real) into this country’s culture. If you remember, this was a country I had wanted to visit before I die. Read more about that post here.

Do you watch Pakistani dramas? I’d love to get more recommendations, though these days where I am going to find the time to watch, I don’t know. Do comment below.