Tag Archives: Reflections

The Paradox of our Time

Posted on by
Reply

I came across this beautiful speech/poem by His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama and it resonated with me.

230b347ab67e919f672514deac273c16
Here’s another, similar speech by Dr. Bob Moorehead, which is worth a read!

“The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more but learn less. We plan more but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you and a time when you can choose either to share this insight or to just hit delete…

Remember, to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.

Remember, to say, “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person might not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.”

Today, most people live in bigger homes (per person per square feet), but who is there at home? Most families are nuclear in nature and even with just three or four people at home, the house is just that – rarely a home as with people’s schedules, there are just a handful of times when everyone is at home together. We don’t make time for the extended family, even during festivities and occasions.

With more disposable incomes, especially in countries like Singapore, the tendency to buy for the sake of buying something is very common. Hashtags like #buybuy are very common on social media platforms and the flaunting of new possessions seems to be a case of ‘keeping up with the Joneses and doing it one step more’! This in contrast, to some people who seem to adopt a minimalist attitude. I would like to go this route and so for the time being, I am stopping all non-essential purchases, preferring to buy from my closet and stash. I will only buy when I am completely out of the product.

We’re more connected than ever in the history of the world, but ironically we’re more alone than ever. As of June 2016, there are more than 1 billion Whatsapp groups in the world and more than 64 billion messages were sent using Whatsapp in one day at its peak! The normal Whatsapp traffic is approximately 42 billion messages per day, though I am not sure if this includes the voice and video messages. But how many of us actually take the time to speak to a loved one on a regular basis? It’s so much easier being in touch through a keyboard, though how much time does it take to take the same phone and dial a number. Even if you do not or cannot use international dialing, all you need to do is install one of the free apps like Skype or Viber and speak to your loved ones!

 

I am going to make a call to speak to my loved ones just as soon as I finish this post, will you?

 

2015 Reflections

Posted on by
Reply

The clock is ticking and in some 40 odd hours, 2015 will come to a close and a brand spanking new year will start. For many of us the 1st of January is a time to reflect on the year that has gone by and maybe make some resolutions for the coming year. I thought of doing a reflections post on what 2015 was to me and my family.

2015 was not a very good year, both for the children as well as me.

2015 was supposed to be a stressful year as this was the year that BB & GG were going to give their PSLE exams. We were prepared for that, what we were not prepared for was how stressful the year turned out to be! If I could rewind time, I would have started preparations a lot sooner than we when we did. I also didn’t have a lot of luck with the tutor we hired. We had gotten the name of another tutor who came recommended by a friend of S’.

Unfortunately when the children were in Primary 5, she got admission into a Masters programme lasting for a year and so she turned the children to a colleague and left. In hindsight, I should not have accepted this as fait accompli, and instead should have researched more options. The tutor P whom we had for 1.5 years left a lot to be desired. I think BB & GG were the first Primary 6 students she was tutoring and it showed. She would constantly change class timings at the drop of a hat and also skip classes which showed in the results. Also sometime after school started, around April I think, she suddenly hiked her fees, knowing parents would not skimp at this crucial year. The worst I feel was when the children texted her about their results, she didn’t reply for a while, and when she did, it was just a “Oh dear”! Anyway, that’s water beneath the bridge now. Lessons learnt and this year and onwards, I will check a tutor’s credentials very carefully before hiring them.

I think somewhere there is a sense of guilt in me that perhaps I didn’t push GG & BB as much as I should have – if I did that, would they have done better than they did? I really won’t know that, will I. Maybe this was for the the best and the two of them will shine in the schools they have been placed in.

Speaking of schools, we still have not heard back from GG’s first choice school and after reading an article in the Straits Times that schools will not be able to admit those with lesser score than their cut off point makes me more and more sure that GG will have to grow to love her second choice school.

Work-wise, this year was very unsatisfactory. I started the year with lots of hope and anticipation, which, as the months passed by started shattering down to earth (too dramatic right!). My new manager was nothing like what I expected, having had his country-man as my previous manager, who is a wonderful person and an excellent manager (the reason he got promoted and left this country I guess). When I realized this, I was in a bind, since I didn’t want to change jobs during the PSLE year. So I stayed put and now in the new year, I am going to have a conversation with Big B (aka my manager) and if the conversation does not have any news on career growth for me, then my time here will have to come to an end, sooner rather than later.

One thing I am really happy is that in 2015 I have been consistently blogging – both in this blog as well as my other one. Sometime in December 2014, I suddenly wanted to revive my blog and start writing again and though I never gave it any voice, I wanted to blog everyday, which I am really happy to announce, I Did! So kudos to me there….
So as I say good bye to 2015, I want all the negativity and bitterness (and I have a lot as you know – lots of unfulfilled wishes this year) to stay in this year and for 2016 to start on a clean slate – one that is filled with optimism and positivity!

What are my wishes for 2016? Wait for the next post….

2014 Reflections

Posted on by
Reply
Inline images 2

Sunrise at the Angkor Wat, Cambodia

Irrespective of how much I blog in a year, I usually do one on the 31st of December as a way to reflect on the year that went by and also try (the operative word here) to put in goals and resolutions for the new year.

Family

2014 was a mixed year with some good and bad happenings. The year actually started well with both BB and GG getting Edusave Awards. All of us were super thrilled and had hoped that this will spur them to do well in school in the current year too! Alas, as usual Hindi was the party pooper and for GG Maths also proved to be the subject she just does not get the grips of. BB did better in school than GG with being in the top in his class for his other three subjects – English, Maths and Science and will be getting his award for 2014 this Sunday.

Their school choir also won a Distinction at the Singapore Youth Festival in April and I was one of the parent volunteers there. We were in school at 5:30 am to get the children ready L and they were scheduled to perform around 10 at the School of The Arts (SOTA). All in all it was a wonderful experience for all of us – both children and parents! We came home tired and exhausted that day, but seeing the school (SOTA), GG wants to now try to apply for the school for DSA next year.

Health-wise, mostly it’s been positive for everyone. I was the only one who had a health scare this year. In July, after a particularly bad case of an abscess, I was warded in hospital to have it surgically removed and in the process discovered that I am a Diabetic! It was my Type 2 Diabetes which was responsible for the abscess in the first place and in a way I am glad it came when it did as it helped me get diagnosed.  It was a shock to anyone who knows me as I am someone who does not have a sweet tooth and prefer spicy foods to sweet any time! Anyways, I’m on medication and will probably have to have it for the rest of my life. My last HBA1c test had a fasting sugar rate of 7 which is in the upper end of what normal people have. My primary care doctor is happy, but I want this number to be on the median level – somewhere around 5.5 to 6.

Other than this health scare, which made me stay at home for three weeks (but I was working all the days at home, so no real rest), and other than usual colds, coughs and flu, we are all healthy. S has been having some real bad back pain over the last few days, so hopefully today’s medical check-up will only reveal it’s bad posture and maybe approaching old age and nothing serious.

GG decided to drop her ballet, something she has been doing since she was 3.5 years old, around 8 years back! Gosh, now that I put it down, it’s been more than three quarters of her life so far. She’s been losing interest in it for a while and every few months would speak of dropping it. It was only me who kept pressuring her to continue. But then when she was unsuccessful in her last exam, I decided to let her drop it and concentrate on her studies. No point in spending money on something if she no longer has the passion for it anymore. She says she wants to try modern or contemporary dance now, we’ll see after the end of this year.

Our helper R has will complete her contract in February next year and she has indicated she wants to continue with us, which is good. She’s been wonderful so far, and if you close one eye to things about her which irk you, this arrangement is a good one for both of us. I definitely need a helper for the next year and after that it really depends on how our life takes flight. We may be able to do away with a full time helper and have a part-timer coming in when we are not at home. Or I may just decide to continue with this arrangement, if things go according to the plan I have in my mind – more on that when I write about goals.

Work:

Again a good year for me professionally. I did well at work and my bonuses proved that, but this position, although good, is not something I would like to see myself doing on a long-term basis. This position, at a large MNC is on a contract basis and the position involves some administrative work, which I would prefer not to do. Readers who may think why I took up this position when I was not very comfortable doing it may read this post I wrote same time last year which has the why’s in more detail. I don’t have anything against admin work, but it’s not something I trained in and not something I see myself in doing on a long-time basis. My boss, the guy who initially recruited me has also moved on – he has moved to another country with a promotion, so although I am real happy for him – could not have happened to a better person, I also no longer have any guilt for leaving him (I am like this – have very strong loyalty, especially to the person I report to and if he/she has recruited me, it’s multiplied many times and feel guilty when I try to leave a company). I will, in any case, spend 2015 in this same company, honing skills learnt here – and I have learnt so much in the two years I have been here! Then by the end of the year, if no other opportunity in this organization comes up, I will start to look for any opportunity to move in. Win-Win right?

In the meantime, I need to work on some social (read office politics) skills here which I hope to do this year….