Short Story: The Blue Dupatta

Jayanti took out a package from her cupboard and caressed it gently before handing it over to her daughter, Ritu. Ritu was surprised to receive the package as she had seen it in her mother’s cupboard growing up and had never been allowed to even touch it. The package was wrapped in tissue and then wrapped with a cotton cloth. In wonder, she opened the precious package and looked in wonder. “Mummy, is this for me?”, she asked in wonder as she opened the package and found a beautiful blue silk dupatta, embroidered in Kashmiri embroidery with flowers all around. “This is gorgeous, mummy! I didn’t know you owned something so beautiful. If I had known, I would have borrowed it from you a long time back.” “And that’s exactly why I hid it from your greedy eyes all these years”, Jayanti lovingly chided Ritu and she packed it back and kept it in her suitcase. Mother and daughter were packing for Ritu’s imminent travel to Mumbai from their hometown of Guwahati in Assam. Ritu had been offered the position of management trainee at a prestigious organisation after her MBA.

This dupatta is very special to me and holds so many memories. It was part of a set of two that my best friend, Rituparna, and I got made when we were growing up in Kolkata”. We had promised to always be there for each other, but after I married your father and moved to Guwahati, I lost touch with her. In our days, there was no internet and WhatsApp that you people have today. STD phone calls were expensive and only used in an emergency, so all we could do to keep in touch is write letters to each other. Rituparna and I wrote to each other for a few years, and then the letters stopped. I even went to see her one year when I was in Kolkata, but they had moved. I heard from their neighbours that uncle had passed away and Aunty and Ritu moved to stay with Aunty’s brother in Bangalore. They had not left any forwarding address, so all I have today to remember my friend is a photo and this dupatta”. Jayanti wiped her eyes as she extracted a small, faded photo from her bedside table. The photo showed two girls about 17 years old, with their arms around each other, smiling broadly at the camera.

Soon, Ritu departed for Mumbai and life went back to its usual routine. Ritu used to call her mother daily to update her on what she was up to. She had been allocated a shared house and the icing was that Ritu got along like a house on fire. The two girls had many things in common and it was not unheard of that Jayanti would also speak with Jaya. Jayanti loved speaking with Jaya and felt some connection with her, though she could not pinpoint what. She kept asking her questions because she seemed very familiar, as though she knew her from somewhere, though it was the first time both were meeting each other.

Soon, it was time for the festival of Diwali. The girls, both very excited to celebrate the festival of lights alone for the first time were planning very hard on the celebrations. After discussing on what they would prepare for the festival, the planning soon moved to what they will wear. Both had something they wanted to show the other and ran to their rooms to bring it out.

Tadah! This is what I am going to wear” Ritu exclaimed, thrusting the blue dupatta towards Jaya only to see Jaya showing her the same dupatta. “How, how is this possible?” stuttered Jaya. “How do we both have the same dupatta? Amma told me that this is one of a kind”? Ritu was equally flabergastted. “Mummy also told me that this was a one-of-a-kind dupatta and she and her best friend had gotten them specially made to celebrate their friendship”.

Both Jaya and Ritu were so surprised to see them have identical dupattas. Soon they started comparing stories. “Ritu, did you notice something else?” Jaya pondered. “My name is a derivative of your mummy’s name and your name is very similar to Amma’s”. “You are correct Jaya” Ritu concurred. “Let me tell you a story” and Ritu told Jaya the story of her mother’s and Rituparna’s friendship.

My mother was from Kolkata, originally. They moved to Bangalore to Amma’s mama’s place after my nana’s death. Amma must be around 20-21 and she got married to Baba there and settled down in Bangalore where I also grew up.” This, from Jaya who was trying to put the pieces together. “We must solve this mystery once and for all.” Ritu stood up and started making plans. “Let’s call both of them here for Diwali and get them in one place. If they are best friends who have lost touch with each other, then this Diwali will reunite them. And if we are completely wrong, then it’s a Diwali we will celebrate with our families.” “Correct” Jaya concurred and started making calls.

Both Ritu and Jaya called their parents and made arrangements for them to fly down to Mumbai. For Jayanti, it was her first flight and she was very apprehensive and excited to take the long flight from Guwahati to Mumbai. Rituparna had a relatively shorter flight and so reached Mumbai first. Jaya had gone to the airport to pick her parents up and brought them back to the apartment. By the time they returned home, Ritu had left for the airport to pick her parents up.

On returning home, Ritu quickly messaged Jaya who then ensured that her parents were inside the room when Ritu brought her parents inside the house. She welcomed Jayanti and her husband and both Jaya and Ritu stood in front of Jayanti and told her they had a surprise for her and that she had to close her eyes. They blindfolded her and made her stand in the centre of the room. Once that was done, they did the same to Rituparna and brought her into the room where Jayanti was standing. Both Ritu and Jaya went and stood behind their mothers and in a move that was coordinated, removed the blindfolds simultaneously while shouting, “Surprise”.

Jayanti and Rituparna stood in shock and did not understand what was going on. They were here to meet their roommate’s parents to celebrate Diwali. Then as if a bulb went off simultaneously in each other’s heads, both recognised their best friend and then they couldn’t wait to be in each other arms. Tears flowed copiously as both friends tried to put the last 25 years into this hug. Finally, they stepped away from each other and turned to their husbands who were looking at this scene bemusedly as they had no idea what just happened. They introduced their friends to their spouses and the two friends sat down to catch up on each other’s lives that they had missed all these years.

How did you know that Ritu was Jayanti’s daughter?” Rituparna asked her daughter while Jayanti looked at Ritu with the same question in her eyes. Both Jaya and Ritu looked at each other and dashed out of the room, returning with the blue dupatta that had made this reunion possible. “The blue dupatta” sighed Rituparna and Jayanti and caressed the heirloom. “Without this, we would have never made the connection and found that you both were best friends who had lost contact for all these years” Ritu explained the story of how the girls figured out the connection between the blue dupatta and their’s mother’s friendship.

The next day, as Jayanti and Rituparna lit the lamps to start the Diwali pooja, they had a special prayer for their friendship. As they lit the diyas and fireworks, they looked at each other and their families and thanked the blue dupatta for bringing their friendship back to them after a quarter of a century.

Parkinson’s Disease: Living a life without losing hope

As regular readers may be aware, my father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease about 5-6 years back and it was because of this disease that they made the move to Bengaluru. In the last two months, when he was with me in Singapore, I saw closely how it has impacted him and so decided to find out more about this disease.

Parkinson’s disease is an age-related degenerative brain condition that is a chronic and progressive movement disorder that causes parts of the brain to deteriorate, causing more severe symptoms over time. It initially causes tremors in one hand, stiffness, balancing problems or slowing of movement. Symptoms start slowly. The first symptom may be a barely noticeable tremor in just one hand. Tremors are common, but the disorder may also cause stiffness or slowing of movement. While this condition is best known for how it affects muscle control, balance and movement, it can also cause a wide range of other effects on the senses, thinking ability, mental health and more.

The exact cause of Parkinson’s disease is still unknown but it is believed that environment and genetics play a role. Certain medications, toxins and other diseases can produce symptoms similar to Parkinson’s disease, and then it is known as secondary Parkinsonism, which may be reversible. The condition isn’t curable, but there are many different treatment options. In the early stages of Parkinson’s disease, the face may show little or no expression. The arms may not swing when one walks and speech may become soft or slurred. Parkinson’s disease symptoms worsen as the condition progresses over time. As the disease progresses, people may have difficulty walking and talking and patients may also have mental and behavioural changes, sleep problems, depression, memory difficulties, difficulty in swallowing, chewing and speaking, rinary problems or constipation, skin problems and fatigue.

While virtually anyone could be at risk for developing Parkinson’s, some research studies suggest this disease affects more men than women. It’s unclear why, but studies are underway to understand factors that may increase a person’s risk. One clear risk is age: Although most people with Parkinson’s first develop the disease after age 60, about 5% to 10% experience onset before the age of 50. Early-onset forms of Parkinson’s are often, but not always, inherited, and some forms have been linked to specific alterations in genes. Parkinson’s disease symptoms may vary from person to person. Early signs may be mild and may go unnoticed. Symptoms often begin on one side of the body and usually get worse on the same side, even after symptoms begin to affect both sides. Signs and symptoms may include tremors, trembling of hands, arms, legs, jaw and face, stiffness of the arms, legs and trunk, slowness of movement, poor balance and coordination and speech difficulty.

The most prominent signs and symptoms of Parkinson’s disease occur when nerve cells in the basal ganglia, an area of the brain that controls movement, become impaired and/or die. Normally, these nerve cells, or neurons, produce an important brain chemical known as dopamine. When the neurons die or become impaired, they produce less dopamine, which causes movement problems associated with the disease. Scientists still do not know what causes the neurons to die. People with Parkinson’s disease also lose the nerve endings that produce norepinephrine, the main chemical messenger of the sympathetic nervous system, which controls many functions of the body, such as heart rate and blood pressure. The loss of norepinephrine might help explain some of the non-movement features of Parkinson’s, such as fatigue, irregular blood pressure, decreased movement of food through the digestive tract, and sudden drop in blood pressure when a person stands up from a sitting or lying position. Many brain cells of people with Parkinson’s disease contain Lewy bodies, unusual clumps of the protein alpha-synuclein. Scientists are trying to better understand the normal and abnormal functions of alpha-synuclein and its relationship to genetic variants that impact Parkinson’s and Lewy body dementia.

The symptoms of Parkinson’s and the rate of progression differ among individuals. Friends or family members may be the first to notice changes in someone with early Parkinson’s. People with Parkinson’s disease often develop a Parkinsonian gait that includes a tendency to lean forward; take small, quick steps; and reduce swinging their arms. They also may have trouble initiating or continuing movement. Symptoms often begin on one side of the body or even in one limb on one side of the body. As the disease progresses, it eventually affects both sides. However, the symptoms may still be more severe on one side than on the other. Many people with Parkinson’s disease note that before experiencing stiffness and tremor, they had sleep problems, constipation, loss of smell, and restless legs. While some of these symptoms may also occur with normal ageing, patients must talk with their doctor if these symptoms worsen or begin to interfere with daily living.

Some cases of Parkinson’s disease appear to be hereditary, and a few cases can be traced to specific genetic variants. While genetics is thought to play a role in Parkinson’s, in most cases the disease does not seem to run in families. Many researchers now believe that Parkinson’s results from a combination of genetic and environmental factors, such as exposure to toxins.

There are currently no blood or laboratory tests to diagnose non-genetic cases of Parkinson’s. Doctors, mostly neurologists, usually diagnose the disease by taking a person’s medical history and performing a neurological examination. Imaging tests — such as an MRI, ultrasound of the brain and PET scans — also may be used to help rule out other disorders. Imaging tests aren’t particularly helpful for diagnosing Parkinson’s disease. If symptoms improve after starting to take medication, it’s another indicator that the person has Parkinson’s. Sometimes it takes time to diagnose Parkinson’s disease. Healthcare providers may recommend regular follow-up appointments with neurologists trained in movement disorders to evaluate conditions and symptoms over time and diagnose Parkinson’s disease. Several disorders can cause symptoms similar to those of Parkinson’s disease. People with Parkinson’s-like symptoms that result from other causes, such as multiple system atrophy and dementia with Lewy bodies, are sometimes said to have Parkinsonism.

Although there is no cure for Parkinson’s disease, medicines, surgical treatment, and other therapies can often relieve some symptoms. Medicines can help treat the symptoms of Parkinson’s by increasing the level of dopamine in the brain, affecting other brain chemicals, such as neurotransmitters, which transfer information between brain cells, and helping control non-movement symptoms. The main therapy for Parkinson’s is levodopa. Nerve cells use levodopa to make dopamine to replenish the brain’s dwindling supply. Usually, people take levodopa along with another medication called carbidopa. Carbidopa prevents or reduces some of the side effects of levodopa therapy — such as nausea, vomiting, low blood pressure, and restlessness — and reduces the amount of levodopa needed to improve symptoms.

For people with Parkinson’s disease who do not respond well to medications, doctors may recommend deep brain stimulation. During a surgical procedure, a doctor implants electrodes into part of the brain and connects them to a small electrical device implanted in the chest. The device and electrodes painlessly stimulate specific areas in the brain that control movement in a way that may help stop many of the movement-related symptoms of Parkinson’s, such as tremors, slowness of movement, and rigidity.

Other therapies that may help manage Parkinson’s symptoms include physical, occupational, and speech therapies, which may help with gait and voice disorders, tremors and rigidity, and decline in mental functions, a healthy diet to support overall wellness, exercises to strengthen muscles and improve balance, flexibility, and coordination, massage therapy to reduce tension and yoga and tai chi to increase stretching and flexibility. Lifestyle interventions such as exercise, healthy eating, sleep, social activity and stress management can also help manage symptoms.

While the progression of Parkinson’s is usually slow, eventually a person’s daily routines may be affected. Activities such as working, taking care of a home, and participating in social activities with friends may become challenging. Living with Parkinson’s disease can be challenging but there are ways to manage it and live a healthy life.

Some ways patients with Parkinson’s disease can manage their lives include eating healthily, exercising which may increase muscle strength, flexibility and balance, avoiding falls, occupational therapy which can help in day-to-day activities such as eating foods, reading, dressing up patients and speech therapy which helps in evaluating and treatment of voice, speech, language or swallowing.

Parkinson’s disease itself isn’t fatal but related complications can reduce life expectancy by 1 to 2 years. However, research involving more than 12,000 people indicates that Parkinson’s can reduce life expectancy if a person receives a diagnosis before the age of 70 years. The researchers report that those with Parkinson’s disease and normal cognitive function appear to have “a largely normal life expectancy”.

Poem: Summer Holidays

Growing up in India, May was the time when almost all schools closed for the summer holidays. In the school I studied in, school unofficially ended around mid-April and the next two weeks were spent marking papers and preparing report cards. We used to go back to school sometime around the end of April and collect our results for the year before we officially ended the school year on May 01. And almost immediately after collecting our results, we would go to visit our grandparents.

Summer Holidays

The train tickets are booked, and the bags are packed
Food has been cooked and entertainment all sorted
The sun shimmers brightly with all the cacophony and the babel
There’s excitement in the air, coz it’s time to travel

The train is bursting to the seams, excitement is at its peak
Some passengers have an air of mystique
A day and night pass by, at times swiftly and otherwise as slowly as lichen
And then, finally, its time to deboard and start the vacation

Grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles
All gathering together in one place in a gathering that is annual
Playing together, catching up on family lore and gossip
It’s a chance to make sure the cup of love and friendship runs over

The mangoes are ripe and the litchis are sweet,
The watermelons are juicy and the jackfruits are grand,
The guavas are fragrant and the papayas are plump,
And the food is a feast for the senses.

You make memories to last a lifetime
That you bring out to reminiscence in your downtime
The long nights when you could not end conversations
The short days that seem to wax and wane in fortunes

All too soon, its time to head back home
Go back to a routine, the daily humdrum
But the memory of the summer vacation
Made the year go by, so you can go on the next one

The summer holidays are precious times
A time to celebrate life, love, and happiness,
To be grateful for all that we have
To give and take, to hold and to share

International Day of Families

Today is the International Day of Families. Families are the basic unit of society and play a critical role in shaping individuals and communities. A Family is the smallest and the primary focus of human attachment, nurturance and socialisation. All the lessons of life are learnt from the family and these stay on the psyche for the entire life. Family, which comes from the Latin, familia, is a group of people related either by consanguinity or affinity. The purpose of the family is to maintain the well-being of its members and society. Ideally, families offer predictability, structure, and safety as members mature and learn to participate in the community.

United Nations declared in 1993 that 15 May would be the International Day of Families to raise awareness of the importance of families and to promote family-oriented policies and programs. The day is an opportunity to recognise the importance of families and to promote their well-being. It also aims to raise awareness of the challenges faced by families and to encourage the adoption of policies and programs that support families.

The theme for the 2022 edition was Families and Urbanisation. Urbanisation is one of the most important megatrends shaping the world and the life and well-being of families worldwide. Sustainable urbanisation is related to the achievement of several Sustainable Development Goals and targets that depend on how well urbanisation is managed towards benefitting families and enhancing the well-being of all generations living in cities. The theme thus aims to raise awareness of the importance of sustainable, family-friendly urban policies.

The world is becoming increasingly urbanised. According to the United Nations, 55% of the world’s population currently lives in urban areas, and this number is expected to reach 68% by 2050. Urbanisation has many benefits, such as access to better healthcare, education, and job opportunities. However, it also presents challenges for families, such as higher living costs, limited space, and a lack of social support.

One of the biggest challenges facing families in urban areas is housing. In many cities, housing is becoming increasingly unaffordable, forcing families to live in small apartments or even on the streets. Another challenge facing families in urban areas is the lack of social support networks. In traditional, rural communities, families often have access to extended family members, neighbours, and community organizations that provide social and emotional support which may be unable in urban areas. Despite these challenges, families in urban areas also have unique opportunities for growth and development.

Preparations for the thirtieth anniversary of the International Year of the Family in 2024 have been centring on megatrends and their impact on families. The focus on selected megatrends, including technological change, migration, urbanization, demographic and climate change, aims to facilitate the analysis of their impacts on family life and to recommend responsive family-oriented policies to harness the positive aspects of those trends and counteract their negative facets.

Sacred Journeys: Exploring some Andhra Pradesh Temples Part 2

This is Part 2 of our temple pilgrimage to the Tirupati Balaji Temple, the Sri Padmavati Temple and the Sri Kalahasthi Temple on a road trip from Bengaluru.

Coming down from Tirumala took almost an hour because there are speed restrictions and it took us about 45 minutes from the point of entering Tirupati to reaching the Padmavati temple. Located in Tiruchanur on the outskirts of Tirupati, the temple is under the administration of Tirumala Tirupati Devasthanams. Padmavathi or Alamelumanga is the main deity of the temple and faces the east. She is an incarnation of Goddess Lakshmi and the consort of Lord Venkateswara. It is believed that the Goddess Lakshmi was born as Alamelu to Akasha Raja, the ruler of this region, and wed Venkateshwara of Tirupati. Goddess Lakshmi gave darshan to Lord Venkateswara on a red Lotus flower or a Padma in Sanskrit at Alamelu Mangapuram after his deep penance for twelve years. According to tradition, the Mother Goddess manifested Herself in the holy Pushkarini called Padmasarovaram in a golden lotus. The Venkatachala Mahatyam states that Lord Suryanarayana was instrumental in the blossoming of the lotus in full splendour. A temple dedicated to Lord Suryanarayana is situated on the eastern side of the Pushkarini. The Padma Purana gives a vivid description of the advent of the Goddess and subsequent wedding with Lord Srinivasa. The manifestation of Sri Padmavathi Devi occurred in the month of Karthika on Sukla Paksha Panchami when the star Uttarashada was in the ascendant. The Brahmotsavam of the Goddess is celebrated with pomp and glory.

We reached the temple around 8:15 am and realised that the temple was closed after the early morning prayers and would reopen at 9 am. So while waiting, we had breakfast nearby. After breakfast, we brought the tickets for the express queue which were for about Rs 200 per person and started waiting. As with Tirumala, our belongings were scanned and all mobile phones asked to be deposited at a counter. My parents were sent on ahead in the senior citizen queue. The queue took about 20 minutes to reach the goddess who was beautiful! We had a very good darshan and then waited for my parents to come, after which we rushed to the last temple in our itinerary, the Sri Kalahasthi temple.

The only photo I could click in the of a temple in the entire tripSriKalahasthi Temple

By the time we finished with the Padmavati temple, the time was nearly 10:45 am. On Friday, the day we were to go to the SriKalahasthi temple, the Rahu Kalam was between 10:30 am to 12 noon and I wanted to visit the temple during this time. Located in the town of Srikalahasti, about 40 km from the Padmavati temple, the temple is one of the most famous Shiva temples in South India and is said to be the site where Kannappa was ready to offer both his eyes to cover the blood flowing from the linga before Lord Shiva stopped him and granted him moksha. It is also famous for its Vayu or Wind Lingam, one of the Panchabhoota Sthalams, representing wind. The temple is also regarded as a Rahu-Ketu kshetra and Dakshina Kailasam. The inner temple was constructed around the 5th century and the outer temple was constructed in the 11th century by the Rajendra Chola I, later Chola kings and the Vijayanagara kings. Shiva in his aspect as Vayu is worshipped as Kalahasteeswara. This is the only temple in India which remains open during Solar and lunar eclipses, while, all other temples are closed. This temple is famous for Rahu-Kethu pooja where it is believed that performing this pooja will ward the people from the astrological effects of Rahu and Kethu.

Goddess Parvati is enshrined in the temple as Shiva-Gnanam Gnana Prasunamba or Gnana Prasunambika Devi. According to legend, Lord Shiva’s consort Goddess Parvati was cursed by him to discard her divine form and assume human form. To atone, Parvati performed penance at Srikalahasti and pleased Shiva. Shiva granted her a heavenly body, a hundred times better than her previous divine form. Cursed to become a ghost, Ghanakala prayed at Srikalahasti for 15 years and after chanting the Bhairava Mantra, Shiva restored her original form.

On reaching the temple, I was praying hard to Lord Shiva that we make it to the sanctum sanctorum before Rahu Kalam ends. Our driver was god-sent and raced down and made sure we reached and prayed to the Lord just as it turned noon. He also spoke to someone at the temple entrance and got us to alight at the VIP entrance. He also spoke to an employee who, on payment, became our guide and took us on a very good tour of the temple without standing in any line and also procured a wheelchair for my father. Goddess Parvati was decked out in gold and this is something only done twice a week, on Mondays and Fridays and we were fortunate to have a glimpse of the Goddess in this form. At this temple also, we were asked to deposit our phones and electronic devices, so I could not take any photos anywhere.

After an hour spent in the temple, we finally exited the temple and started our journey back to Bengaluru. The journey back to Bengaluru was uneventful and took us about seven hours because just as we entered the city, we caught the evening rush hour which added another hour to the journey. We had lunch at the same place we had brunch the day before and our next meal was at our home. We all slept a fair bit of the drive back and were pretty exhausted by the time we hit the bed. But our hearts were full because of the amazing darshans we had. I was happy that I could facilitate this trip for my parents. Hopefully, we can make another trip to all these temples again and soon.