We’re hurtling our way towards the end of semester exams. For secondary schools, the exams start earlier than they do for primary schools, with both exams starting sometime in the end of this month and ending around mid-May. This is also different compared to primary schools where the exams would be over in 4 days (5 if you take Higher Mother Tongue). Also when there are two exams on a particular day and you don’t have to give one, you can come late or leave earlier, unlike primary schools!
GG had a very busy week as she had concentrated practice sessions for the performance which is next week. On the first day of the long practice session, she came home only around 7:45 pm, which was almost 13 hours after she left home for school! Right from the time she has been a baby, she reacts to tiredness in the same way – she gets angry and cranky. She’s learned to manage her emotions slightly better now, but now and then, they overflow. That’s exactly what happened that day – she called me when she left school, close to 7 pm and said she’s tired and will not have dinner! I immediately knew she was getting cranky and as soon as she came home and showered, she started shouting and fighting with BB! I tried to console her and eventually fed her some food and she broke down. After a few minutes of hugging, she calmed down to eat and finish her homework before bed. The next day, she told me, she dozed off in class! I will be happy with the performance next week so that she can concentrate on her end of semester exams. Though, like I told GG, this is life – there will be several situations in life, especially when you start working and at the beginning of your career, when you may have to manage on minimum sleep and have to do it with grace and fortitude and this is just a rehearsal for those situations.
Oh, I have to mention this. Someone from BB’s school parent support group recommended this free app which is great. The app is called OurPact and it is free in the App Store. I guess it should be free for Android also. What it basically does is that it gives the parent (or adult) control over their child’s phone. We downloaded the app and sat together to decide on what I called ‘Phone Ban’ times. So once I schedule the times, their phone gets locked up. They can’t access apps except phone, text and music. So they are contactable at that point, but can’t use the phone to play games, watch videos and generally waste their time. We’ve used it for the better part of a week now and I love it. It also allows me to block access if they already have it remotely if I feel they are misusing phone usage privileges. It’s been such a relief, especially when I am at work and I know they are playing with their phones instead of doing something constructive.
Next week is their Hindi end of semester exam. GG’s performance is a day before that and she will be home only around 10:30 – 11 pm! Hopefully she doesn’t break down at the end of the day and this affects her exam performance!
I’m currently reading Ariana Huffington’s book ‘Thrive’ and though I’m only a third into the book, the chapter on mindfulness and meditation resonates with me.
My version of mindfulness is just before I fall asleep. I am not the sort of person, who as soon as my head hits the pillow, I fall asleep. I usually take between 10-15 minutes on a good say to fall asleep and this is when I reflect and recreate my day as well as see where I was wrong and try to re-do that experience. It’s only those admittedly rare days when I am so exhausted that I do go into a deep sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow that these reflections are not done. In between, I’ve tried to meditate, but I find that I do not have the disciple to do it on a daily basis.
Someone who practices mindfulness and meditates on a regular basis is someone who is more satisfied with life, someone who knows and accepts what life brings to them and becomes fully engaged with the ‘now’, rather than the ‘later’. This ability helps cushion you against the adversities that life will inevitably bring to you.
The best way to do this is to find a time of the day when you can practice on a regular basis and stick to that. I prefer doing this just before bed, some people prefer doing this first thing in the morning, but it should be your call. Choose a relatively quiet place where you will not be interrupted as well as bombarded by stimuli. Relax your body and mind. You can close your eyes if that helps or you can focus your attention on an object or image. Take deep and confortable breaths and focus your attention on how you breathe. Your mind will start to wander and when it does, gently bring it back to the present. Having something to focus on like a chant or an image helps in this. I also like to keep a timer on my phone for the initial days when I know I can’t focus too much. Start small, maybe 2-3 minutes initially, gradually moving up the time you mediate and be mindful to as long as you can.
Memories and Such 