2016 Week 49 Update

December is here and we’re all set to welcome 2017 in just a couple of weeks now!

In a couple of hours all the months of preparation will finally come to fruition as BB undergoes his sacred thread ceremony and becomes ‘twice born’. We’ve all been so busy the past week that this will be a very short update. 

S, along with his mum, aunt, sister and nephew came to Mumbai earlier in the week. His family is staying at the function venue since his aunt can’t walk much. My aunts and grandmother came yesterday from other parts of India to help us celebrate. More about the function later….

Happy December folks!

2016 Week 47 Update

Another hectic week where I was left wondering where the days flew by!

BB went for his school leadership camp for 3 days and GG missed him terribly. She kept asking me when he would come back and that she missed having him around to fight and play with. BB said pretty much the same thing when GG went do her leadership camp a couple of weeks back. Guess this showed me once more the special bond that both have, which is more I think because they shared a womb and have been together their entire life. I really hope GG will be able to cope with BB’s absence during his National Service which will be for two years, though he should be able to make it home most weekends. They’ll be older too, so hopefully more mature. 

You all must have heard of the demonitisation of the Indian rupee which happened two weeks back. What the government did was declare the 500 and 1000 rupee notes not legal tender anymore and it’s created chaos in the country. Suddenly the money people had for their daily expenses didn’t exist anymore and the queues in bank were and are insane. What it means to me is that no bank or money changer in Singapore has any relevant and legal rupee anymore. For us, who are flying to India next week, this has created so much problems. I’ve been running around asking people for whatever small change they have and have just about managed to cobble enough for a taxi ride from the airport to my home! Hopefully there are money changers in Mumbai airport from whom I can change some money, otherwise I have no idea how I am going to shop for the poonal. 

I also decided to take my involvement in BB & GG’s schools up a notch. I volunteered to be part of the school Parent Support Group’s exco committee. I also want to do the same for GG’s school but I am already in what they call the core committee and her school is not so into the PSG as BB’s school. 

We also caught Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them over the weekend and all of us, me, GG & BB loved it. It’s a sort of prequel to the Harry Potter series and I understand this is the first of five movies. If you are a Harry Potter fan, please do see the movie. 

That’s all from us this week. The next few updates will be from India! So more from there….

Have a wonderful week!!

Sumangali Pooja Part 1

So last weekend, I did the Sumangali Prarthanai which is usually done by a married woman in each family or clan when there is a major ceremony happening in a family like weddings or thread ceremonies. Some families (like my mum) also do this on an annual basis.

The Sumangali Pooja is a typical brahmin function, I can’t say I have seen other communities doing this. In our community, this pooja is done to invoke to seeking the blessings of the ancestral women of the family who enjoyed a long and prosperous family life and left this world as sumangalis (those who died before their husbands) and any young unmarried girls in the family. Every family will differ slightly in the way they do this function, but by and large, the procedure should be more or less similar. Unlike most other functions or religious poojas, this function is a 100% ladies function. The men in the family are only for decorative or helpful purposes and have no real role to play. Usually, the oldest woman present will take the mantle of the master of ceremonies and lead the function as she will be the most knowledgeable of all present.

Usually, these days people have around 5 Sumangalis and 2 young girls, though you can have any odd number like 3, 5, 7, 9 or even 11 and 13! You can invite both married women from within your family or outside for the function. The day before the function, all the invited sumangalis are given sesame oil, shikhakai, and turmeric and henna in advance or in the early hours of the day of pooja. The tradition is they have to apply mehendi and take oil bath and also apply turmeric while taking a bath which is considered very auspicious. They will come home the next day by taking oil bath and wear a 9 yards saree which has been made madi (means they have to wash and dry it separately without touching other clothes or even with their hands). These days, especially in places like Singapore, where a saree is getting rarer, people may not be comfortable wearing a nine-yard saree, so sometimes, they wear a normal six-yard saree or even other clothes, come to the host’s house and then change into the nine-yard saree.

Generally, if a daughter is getting married on the girl’s side they will do it compulsorily before the wedding and keep the daughter who is going to get married as one of the pondugal. But in the boy’s house also they do the sumangali prarthanai but they can either do it before the wedding with their family members or they can either do it once the daughter in law comes into the house. This function should also be done only once a year by a family. So in our case, since I just did the function, if S’ cousin gets married anytime in the next one year, his mum (S’ aunt) can’t do it before the wedding, as it’s usually done. The ideal day of the week for this function is a Friday, but these days with people working and children in school during the week, Fridays are not practical so most people do it on a Sunday. The inauspicious time of Rahu Kaal is also to be taken into account when choosing the time. On Sundays the Rahu kaal is in the afternoon, so this function which ends at lunch is perfect to be done on a Sunday.

 

2016 Week 46 Update

Wow! What a week this turned out to be! I was so busy this week, that almost every day I was out and had to actually think back on what I did each day.

For one, the US elections took centre stage this week and we all now know what happened. I also penned down my initial thoughts a couple of days back in this post.

On Thursday morning, after I woke up, I was reading my Facebook feed when suddenly my phone blanked out. I was initially flustered and then took to Google to see what the issue was. Long story short, after checking websites, chatting with Apple advisors online as well as speaking to a local Apple advisor, I decided to bring my phone to the nearest service centre to see if it can be repaired. My phone was nearly 2 years old, but working well, so I was pretty confident it was a small issue. When I saw an associate at the service centre, I was told there was water damage to the phone and it was pretty much unrepairable! I was upset (understandably) and so had to buy a new phone stat! That was some serious cash outlay which I didn’t want to spend in the first place!

I also took BB & GG to the Singapore National Museum later in the week as I wanted them to have a look at what Singapore went through, especially since this was what they were learning in school. Before we went there, they didn’t tell me they had already been there before (yikes!) but we had a good couple of hours there checking out the various exhibits. I also want to take them to the other museums while I can.

Our India trip is just days away and we are all super excited! I’ve also finalised the photographer and videographer for the poonal and now all I need to do in Mumbai is fine tune the guest numbers for the caterer and also see if we need to add/delete any items from the catering list.

So that’s all folks, have a great week…..

What’s Happening to the World?

The past few days have been very disappointing and depressing for me as a woman, as a feminist, as a mother, as someone who is a minority in my country and most importantly as a human being.

Like many others across the world, I was following the US elections and was hoping and praying that the glass ceiling will finally be shattered in that country. But like many others, our hopes were instead shattered that day and millions of women, minorities, and others were left devastated and crying.

As a woman it makes me wonder why a country which has taken the lead on the world stage can’t come off the patriarchy it seems to be in and vote for the person most qualified for and most competent for the position? Instead, they (and by they, I am not only referring to the white male, but also to the 53% white female who voted for patriarchy) voted for someone who not only showed absolute disdain and contempt for women and minorities, but who also ran a campaign on a racist, sexist, misogynistic and xenophobic tone. How could this person be so much better than the woman who opposed him? I am not saying she was perfect, she did have her faults, but how was he better than her? I still can’t get my head around that one!

What’s more frightening to me as a mother of impressionable teens is that how they will now perceive the world around them. I’ve always been telling BB that she can be anything and anyone she wants to be, even the Prime Minister of her country, but suddenly now, I am not too sure. As a female of a minority race, does she even have the same chances and options as a male of the majority race? This election is making me rethink what to tell her now. Maybe our country will be enlightened enough a couple of decades later to elect a minority female prime minister, but do I have the conviction to tell her that now? Can I continue to tell her to work hard, do her best, be nice to people and she will get the results she is hoping for? Or is this all a big fat lie we parents tell our girls?

And then there’s BB. I have always believed that mothers of young boys have a greater job in ensuring that their young boys grow up to be men of integrity and character, that when they grow up, the teachings they learn from their parents and especially their mothers should be the foundation which they base their interactions with the women in their lives – be it wives, daughters, friends, colleagues and every woman they meet in their day-to-day lives. They should be polite men who believe internally that the women in their lives are equal in every respect to a man. But this election has blown that out of the water. That a man, who denigrated women at all times, who was caught doing this so many times, has become the most powerful man in today’s world is nothing but catastrophic for parents who want to teach their boys how not to behave as opposed to how to behave. Now when you teach boys good behavior, it’s going to come to pinch you in your back when they see the reality around them. What they see around them tells them that their parents are wrong. You do get rewarded for bad behavior and the reward is nothing else but becoming the most powerful man in the world! I have no words….

It’s going to take me some more time to get my head around the new reality of our world today and I think I need more time to process it further. I also need to think about how I am going to continue to teach my children how they need to navigate this new reality. This post is the reaction if my feelings from the past few days and is actually a very early morning (4:30 am to be precise) post where I had to write down my thoughts and feelings.

I’d love anyone who reads this to react and comment. Maybe I get a better understanding of the situation and also some tips on how to navigate it.