In My Hands Today…

A Nail Through the Heart – Timothy Hallinan

Travel writer Poke Rafferty was good at looking for trouble–so good that he made a little money writing a few offbeat travel guides for the young and terminally bored. But that was before Bangkok stole his heart. Now the expat American is happily playing family with Rose, the former go-go dancer he wants to marry, and with Miaow, the wary street child he wants to adopt. Yet just when everything is beginning to work out, trouble comes looking for Poke in the guise of good intentions. First he takes in Miaow’s friend, a troubled and terrifying street urchin named Superman. Then he agrees to find a distraught Aussie woman’s missing uncle–and accept an old woman’s generous payment to find a blackmailing theif. Soon, these three seemingly disparate events begin to overlap, pulling Poke deeper into dark, unfamiliar terrain. Gradually he realizes that he’s been gliding across the surface of a culture he really doesn’t understand–and that what he doesn’t know is about to hurt him and everyone he loves.

2016 Week 10 Update

This week I’ve been in a funk! The reality that I will be unemployed in about 6 weeks time probably hit me and I’ve been completely unproductive the whole week. I had plans, none of which I did. I really need to step it up if I have to have any hope come May.

I did send out my resume to a few places last week, but no nibble yet, that probably also had a hand in why I was so out of sorts. Though I have plans on what I will do post May, I also don’t want to be in that position….Its a catch-22 situation for me and I don’t like it one bit!

Big B is being quite nice to me these days and I guess there’s some guilt involved in that. I do plan to let him know if I need to take time off for interviews, but so far there’s nothing, not even a speck in the horizon – guess my age and varied experiences are finally catching up with me, a situation I dislike tremendously.

This week will be a short work week for me as I am on leave on Friday. My sister-in-law is pregnant after trying for close to 10 years and that day is the traditional baby shower. Unlike western cultures, most Indian communities have a very elaborate baby shower or Godh Bharai in Hindi and Seemantham in Tamil. In our community this is done usually in the seventh or ninth month of pregnancy and traditionally this is the date when the pregnant woman leaves for her parents place to complete her pregnancy and deliver the baby. These days though, most women only go to their parents homes after delivery, if at all.

Hopefully, writing this down will be cathartic and I am able to shake off the funk that I’ve been in and this week is a good one! Have a great week people!!

 

My Greatest Fears as a Parent

over-protective-parenting-cartoon

I’m not this bad…yet!

Every parent in the world has fears about their children. The world we live in, which is more enabled and intrusive than ever before, has so much negativity and evil, that I know for sure as a parent, I fear every time my children leave the house.

I think my greatest fear, as with that of any other parent, would be losing my children. I can’t even imagine such a scenario and honestly, when such a thought comes to my mind, I usually shy away from it and push it away. It is such a scary thought to me that I can’t even imagine it!

Now that we’ve set aside any parent’s greatest fear, I do have other fears for BB & GG.

One of my biggest fears is that they do not fulfill their potential in life. Both are very smart and intelligent people and have a lot to offer others, but and a huge but, is getting them to understand this. With the proliferation of electronic equipment and smartphones, it is so easy to get sucked up in playing games that you tend to lose focus of what is important and when. At this point in their lives, they need to get a good education which will stand them in good stead and help them reach their potential in life. Today’s world is much more competitive than it was before, especially given how easy it is find out information. What took me a couple of weeks of research to find out can be found out with a couple of clicks today and so you are not just competing (for seats in educational institutions or even jobs) with people in your district, state or even country, but with the millions outside about whom you know nothing about! Irrespective of what that is, I will stand by them, but I just wish I had some way of reaching out to them about not wasting time today about game playing!

funny

Another cartoon which sums up us parents perhaps?

GG is today in a vulnerable age where I sometimes really fear for her. With half-baked information about many things that she learns from her peers, sometimes it becomes difficult to know exactly what she knows which is right and what is wrong. I fear that she will get sucked into peer pressure and start relationships. Both are not interested right now, but who knows when this changes. I read in one of the parenting groups I belong on Facebook, that in one of the class whatsapp groups, someone sent a link to a pornographic site which was clicked by others who liked the link! This may be quite strange to western readers, but I guess Asian parents may see my point. Actually this is true, irrespective of the gender of the child. Adolescence is a time when hormones are in full bloom and this is definitely not the time to be thinking of relationships, sexual or otherwise. I have time and again told BB & GG that they should wait till they are more mature about this. My hope for both is to wait till university when they have their heads firmly in their shoulders, but failing that, to be more mature when dealing with relationships. School, with its pressure may not be the right age to have this in the mix. At the end of the day, I hope if they do get into a relationship, I hope they consider me a friend and are willing to confide in me.

I don’t want them to grow up entitled, behaving like jerks. They are growing up in a a country which is fairly affluent as compared to its neighbors and I have seen first-hand behavior of my countrymen behaving with a huge sense of arrogance entitlement when they travel abroad. I want GG & BB to learn to appreciate the beauty and culture everywhere and know that everywhere in the world there’s a huge opportunity to learn.
These are my top three worries as a parent. I actually have more, but thought, I’ll keep that for another day. What about you? Do you have any worries for your child? I’d be happy to read them….

If I were Stranded on a Deserted Island…

The other day I was reading and there was a post on the top things you would have with you if you were stranded. Most people had very innovative and practical items to have on hand, but this actually got me thinking – do we actually think we will be stranded when we travel and have the x number of items on our person? So anyway this got me thinking and if I were ever stranded, especially on a deseted and desolate island where communication is an issue and I am the only person there (aka Robinson Crusoe), this is what I hope I have on myself – otherwise I guess I am doomed!

  1. A solar powered iPhone: This is so that I can try to communicate with the world in a bid to be saved. This should also help in passing the time should I be bored and will also take the place of my books because my phone is always pre-loaded with books. I can also listen to music on my phone so this one phone will actually be the equivalent of 3 items….
  2. A Swiss Army Knife: This is a no-brainer! This will check so many boxes for survival that it should probably be number 1.
  3. Pen and Notebooks: Since I will be free of all distractions, this enforced period of boredom should help me flesh out the book that has been inside me for aeons.
  4. A giant pack of matches: To help me light fires. I’ve never been a Guide or Scout, so no idea on how to light fires using flints or stones!
  5. A solar powered flashlight: This would help me see in the dark and also hopefully frighten away any animals at night.
  6. Sunscreen: Skin cancer anyone? Not me!
  7. Lipstick: Because I am vain like that…
  8. Hammock: Deserted islands have plenty of trees and reading while lying on a hammock is absolute bliss. And of course, this eliminates the need to sleep on a hard floor with god alone knows what bugs and insects.
  9. Toothbrush and Toothpaste: I hate a furry mouth, though I’d need to find a freshwater source before I can actually use it. I’ve brushed in salt/brackish water once and it was an experience I do not ever wish to repeat!
  10. Canned food items: Since I am a vegetarian, I can’t depend on ocean’s bounty to feed me so some canned food for me to survive. I will use my Swiss knife to open the cans and my matches to cook anything I need to cook!

What about you? What would you bring with you if you were ever stranded on a deserted and desolate island?

What if I Won the Lottery?

Earlier this week one of my colleagues sent around an email asking if we were interested in pitching money to play the lottery. This is one of the biggest draws of the year and most people in Singapore, even if they don’t gamble at all, try to put some money for the Chinese New Year draw. After all, who would not like to win big with a small investment! This year’s Hong Bao draw () prize has now snowballed to S$13.9 million and the draw is later today…

I’ve been imagining on and off what I would do if I ever won the lottery. I am not so greedy, so I never dream of winning really big (think billions or even a few millions), but I’d really love to win a million (or even a few hundred thousand!)

So with the assumption that I’ve won a few million, here are my top things to do if I won a lottery….

  1. We don’t have a lot of debts with housing and car loans the biggest ones. So one of the first things I’d do would be to pay off my housing loan and if there’s anything left over, use that to make the down payment for a new flat which I will use as passive income stream. If the win is serious money (talking about 10 million and more), I’ll probably use it to purchase multiple properties (housing and commercial) as investments.
  2. I would also love to buy a bigger house, my dream home, one with a minimum of 6 bedrooms, one each for us, BB, GG, my parents, my in-laws and guests, each with its own ensuite bathroom, a large kitchen and living room and rooms for our domestic helpers. Since it’s a dream home, I’d want the house to have two granny flats – one for my parents and one for S’ mum and aunt, both featuring a small mini kitchenette and a living room so both sets of parents live with us, but are independent at the same time.
  3. Spend some money in doing up the houses in what would be my version of a dream home – including having a dedicated space for the loads of books I will own!
    Set up education funds for BB & GG so that they are able to study what they want and where they want without feeling that we cannot afford it. I’d also invest in getting good coaching for them now while they are still in school so that they are able to make the points in achieving their dream careers.
  4. Invest a good chunk of the lottery money. I don’t have great knowledge on this, so I’d probably hire someone to go this for this. This would secure not only our present, but also our future and retirement.
  5. Leave my job and become a SAHM as we can now afford it! Take time to really spend quality time with my family.
  6. Splurge on nice holidays for my family (including parents and in-laws) and see the world. I have extended family literally across the globe and have made so many plans to visit them, but the fact that for a family of 4 adults, any holiday (even to a nearby destination) becomes expensive and travelling across the globe is something we need to budget for, so a fairly large travel budget will be really god sent! I’d also love to splurge some money on first class travel for my family, parents and in-laws.
  7. Invest in a private trainer for my family so that we become the healthiest we can become. This will also include investing money in hiring a great cook, who can whip up tasty and healthy food for us.
  8. Spend some money on splurges for my family (including the extended ones) so that they can all buy some things which they’ve always wanted, but probably can’t.
    Buy S a new car, hopefully his dream car, but if not that, maybe one that he loves more than our current one.
  9. Lastly, I’d want to give back something to society. At this point, I don’t know what and how, but I do know I’d love to give back to the lesser fortunate, especially children. Since I’d not need to work for a living, I want to volunteer my time as well as money.

Well, it’s all wishful thinking at this point, but it was nice writing this post dreaming of all that I’d get and do should I win a few millions in the lottery!

What are your top wishes if you won big?