In My Hands Today…

A Long Way Gone – Ishmael Beah

1920581At the age of twelve, Ishmael Beah fled attacking rebels in Sierra Leone and wandered a land rendered unrecognisable by violence.

By thirteen, he’d been picked up by the government army, and Beah, at heart a gentle boy, found that he was capable of truly terrible acts. At sixteen, he was removed from fighting by UNICEF, and through the help of the staff at his rehabilitation centre, he learned how to forgive himself, to regain his humanity, and, finally, to heal.

At sixteen, he was removed from fighting by UNICEF, and through the help of the staff at his rehabilitation centre, he learned how to forgive himself, to regain his humanity, and, finally, to heal.

This is an extraordinary and mesmerizing account, told with real literary force and heartbreaking honesty.

Solo Travelling

adventure alone daylight desert

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The older I get, the more solo travelling has started to appeal to me. S and I are completely different when it comes to travel goals and so as the children get older and I am not bound by their schedules.

But there seems to be a big societal deterrent to travelling alone, especially in Asian cultures. Solo travels these days, also seems to the domain of the young millennial. As a middle-aged woman, I have certain standards and so don’t fall into the same category. I like my luxuries and don’t think I can rough it out like the young set, and since if I travel alone, I will have the money to finance it, I don’t see it too much of an issue.

ball shaped blur close up focus

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So why is solo travel good for your soul?

It gives you the complete freedom to do what you want without having any regard for other people in your group. You feel like exploring a certain place in depth, go ahead and do that. On the other hand, if you just want to be a sloth on a particular day, that’s your prerogative.

You gain confidence in yourself. Since you have to depend only on yourself to do all the grunt work for and during your travels and this makes you get out of your comfort zone and forces you to interact with people of different strata. You may make friends with them, some of whom become life-long friends, but again, it’s your call how much further you want to take this.

You become comfortable in your own skin. When you travel alone, you are forced to eat and sightsee alone. I remember the first time I had to eat alone in a restaurant. It was very intimidating (I was travelling on business, not pleasure), but soon realised how much I enjoyed eating alone. I was free to read or watch what I wanted while I ate, without making small talk with people I barely knew and somehow since then, I would not mind eating slightly early or later just so I can eat alone. I am also more comfortable with myself than I was in my twenties. I recently even watched a movie alone in the theatre and found that I actually liked doing things alone.

sunset man

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You step outside your comfort zone. You are responsible for yourself when you travel alone and any hiccups along the way are yours to solve. This helps you develop problem-solving skills as well as the ability to think on your feet. This will stand you in good stead irrespective of what stage of life you are in.

Solo travelling strengthens your creativity. When you have the time to chill and be with yourself, you have the time and more importantly, the bursts of creativity to start on the book you’ve always been meaning to write or start any of the projects you wanted to do like knitting, needlework, embroidery etc.

One other benefit of travelling alone, for a reader like me, is to have the unlimited time to read. You don’t have others impinging on your reading time, while in the hotel room or even while moving from one attraction to the other. Actually, this is not just true of reading, but also of watching movies or anything you wanted to watch but didn’t have the time for.

It may make you happier in the long run. Research suggests that getting into vacation mode has the potential to increase our happiness levels. And spending time alone has also been shown to stave off depression.

woman standing beside chair

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However, travelling alone makes you more vulnerable to attacks as you don’t have the safety of numbers and seeing a woman alone may make you the target of potential attackers and molesters. So you have to be very careful and have all eyes and ears open all the time. Make sure you guard all your belongings and dress with respect to local cultures and norms. In addition, always do your homework: find out the do’s and don’ts of an area prior to arrival.

Travel, in general, is one of the most beneficial life experiences you can have but there are even more benefits if you decide to do it alone. So what are you waiting for? As for me, I still have one more year before I am free to start to travel alone. Till then, I am going to make my solo travel bucket list.

2018 Week 38 Update

Is it me or did September just zoom past?

I started September with a huge sense of optimism and this month has not really failed me, which is why I feel that this month has literally flown past.

I started the back to work programme that I was quite excited about in the past few sessions have learnt quite a bit about how I should structure my resume and look at it from the other side’s point of view. The biggest takeaway for me, however, is in knowing that I am not alone. In the same programme as me, there are other women, more successful, in higher positions than me, who for whatever reason decided to take a break from work and now are finding it difficult to get back into the game. I always thought that there was something wrong with me, but I know now that I am not alone. We’ve now created a Whatsapp group and so hope we are able to share our getting back to work journey together. This week I meet up with a consultant for a one-on-one session which I hope will be beneficial and next week is another workshop session followed by a networking event.

I’ve also been quite busy with my freelance work and if this job thing does not take off by the beginning of next year, I will focus more on my freelance work and try and get more clients onboard. Maybe that’s where I will see success.

Ok, gotta go and do some work now. Have a pleasant week everyone.