Tag Archives: Children

My 100th Post

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This is my 100th post! Woohoo! When I started blogging, 100 posts seemed such a daunting task, and it was initially, because I didn’t blog often. Now that I am blogging regularly (aka five days a week), it’s not such a difficult task. Now 200 or even 500 does not seem so distant to me. Like a saying I’ve often heard when I was younger – little drops of a water make a mighty ocean! Now, if I can only translate this to other aspects in my life! Anyway…..

I wanted to actually write a post on how privileged I am to be a twin mom, but I read about something very similar from someone just last week and so I didn’t want to do that. I will, instead do a post on my twins – GG & BB and how amazing they are….

I’ve actually written a post on the twins, so this one is not so much about their individuality, but more about their twinness. 

BB & GG love being twins most of the time. BB has no issues, but at times GG does not like her brother taking away half her limelight. If she had her way, she would have been an only child and loved it.

They are partners in crime – anytime anything happens in the house, it’s always the other person’s fault. So much so, we can mostly never figure out who did it, unless the other twins tells on the perpetrator or the perpetrator confesses his/her crime.

They have built-in playmates, although it does not seem like that as the years go by and their interests and hobbies change. Intially they used to play together, but these days, what with GG playing with her dolls and BB playing with his cars, they don’t play as much as they used to, but they still like to watch youtube videos on my iPhone together – even if it is a barbie video which GG is watching or a car/plane video which BB is watching

No one can bully them in school, especially since GG is the more aggressive one. According to her, she loves pinching her brother, but woe anyone else who does the same thing, they will bear the brunt of her anger and let me tell you, she can get angry!

Mommy can get all the information about school even though each one gives some information. By pooling together all the fragmented pieces of information, I get the complete sense of what we are supposed to be doing. Also if someone gets in trouble at school, I will know it because the other one will be eager to finger the one in trouble. This will only work when they are in the same school, so I may have to revisit this in four years time when they reach secondary school.

They know they are special. Being twins, they are usually the centre of attention when they go to a new place as most people are fascinated by multiple children. So the first time they meet someone, that person is very keen to get to know them. 

They share a connection with each other that only they appreciate. They can’t be without each other for more than a short time. Even though they are not in the same class in school, they need to know the other is fine and safe, periodically checking up on each other. I hope and pray that this connection with each other stays with them for their whole lives.

Having a sibling of the opposite sex who is the same age as them will give them insights which will be invaluable

I read about the this from another site. I am going to copy it in it’s entity and say why I put this here:

Twin Predictions: Twins don’t only share psychic vibes with each other; they seem to put off some sort of sign that alerts others to their coming. Many a mom-to-be of twins has been told that she’ll have twins before she has that first sonogram or even knows she’s pregnant! There’s something about twins…people just KNOW!

When I went to the ob-gyn to confirm my pregnancy, the doctor did an ultrasound. When the doctor was doing the sonogram, I just blurted out, “Don’t tell me, we’re having twins!” and the doctor looked at me, smiled and said “Well, that’s what you’re going to have”. I had no reason to say this and who knows why I said that at that point – maybe the above point is true? Who knows??

What Kind of a Parent am I?

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Ever since I started blogging here regularly, I’ve been reading a lot of blogs. This is good, because for me, reading sparks my writing.

I like to read parenting blogs a lot because hey, last time I looked, I am a parent! I’ve read a lot about helicopter parenting and this is something I am intrigued about, not so much as because I am one, but because I tend to move between being a helicopter parent and then on to the other spectrum of the scale.

So what exactly is a helicopter parent? It is one who hovers around their kid and who takes extreme interest in their activities. An extreme example could be someone who does not allow their child to take one breath without they or someone they trust making sure they are ok. We have many such examples here in Singapore and most parents here are what is locally called kiasu, the degree of kisauness varies.

BlogHer has a good blog about this, which is funny but at the same sad, very sad! Is that what our future’s are going to look like? I can already see BB & GG recoiling away in horror!

So what kind of a parent am I? Like I mentioned earlier, I tend to fluctuate between two extremes. I am very particular that BB & GG do well in their studies and tend to hover around them for that. I don’t really look at this as helicopter parenting (no, really, I don’t), but more of the fact that this world they live and will grow up in is extremely competitive and if they do want to have a good life in the future, education is the way to go. I am also very protective of them – I do not let them go down and play on their own without a responsible adult there or go anywhere out of sight of me or someone I trust, be it at home or outside. I am quite paranoid about the fact that you have many sexual predators lurking around you and unlike the States, we do not have such lists on line for parents to protect their children. So they have to be within sight of me at all times, especially when we are out of the house, except for the times they are in school or in some class.

On the other hand, I would like them to grow up a bit strong, so I am not too particular about a few germs here and there, I feel that a few germs will make you stronger and to me that is a good thing. I also prefer they fight their own battles and so will not interfere unless it degenerates into a fight.

So what kind of a parent are you? I’d love to hear from you, post your views in the comments section.

Neighbours all

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For some wierd reason I feel like posting on neighbours, so please bear with me.

Housing in Singapore is of two very distinct types – public and private. We live in a Housing & Development Board (HDB) Executive Apartment type of flat. It’s not too bad and around 80% of people in Singapore live in these kinds of flats. Our previous home was also an HDB flat and when we wanted to move to a bigger flat, we decided to go to HDB again since we had not taken the subsidy they give locals and so wanted to use that before we move to private housing.

We’ve lived in our present home for the past year and a half and till  today I barely know our neighbours. The block we live in is in an L shaped arrangement with the longer side having around 7 duplex type of flats and three in the shorter side (including ours) which are all on one level.

The day we shifted, we met the other two neighbours on our side of the building. They seemed nice and we exchanged hellos when we met or when the doors opened. Then one of them moved away (we didn’t know as we were on a holiday and when we came back, the neighbour was gone!). As for the others on the floor, we do not know ANY OF THEM! Funny right?

At our previous place, since I was working full-time, we also had a hello-bye relationship with our neighbours (there were a total of 6 flats on our floor including ours). But as soon as BB & GG were born, we became very friendly with them and the 6 years we spent there after the children’s birth were fun!

Contrast this with my home in Mumbai. We live in a building with 19 flats and almost all have been there for as long our family has been there (give or take around 60 years, the age of the building). I’ve grown up there and know every single person in the building. There was no fear of the unknown and all the adults living there were surrogate uncles/aunties/grandmas and grandpas! When we were younger and my parents had to go out for the evening, we used to go to one of these neighbours homes and if it became late, even slept over and came back home in the morning. When my grandparents passed away and my parents had to go to the city they were living in, it was to this particular uncle/aunty’s care that my mom left us in. She would bring us food and make sure we went to college and later to work. It didn’t matter to them that we were adults by then, my parents had left me and my sister in their care and they were going to look after us, come what may!

I miss that sense of camaraderie that we had, here it feels like every one just lives their own lives and noone is interested in the other person’s life. But then if I want to be really honest, I am also more of a self contained person and prefer my own company and that of my family’s to others…So guess this is quid pro quid…

Random Thoughts

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Today has been one of these days – one where I am not in a mood to do anything! It’s surprising, considering that I woke up with energy and even coming in to work was good – no sleeping in the bus. Dunno what happened to me at work, here I am at lunch, just waiting for the day to end…

Yesterday BB’s co-form teacher Mr. M called me with a complaint about him. Now BB has appalling handwriting and I’ve been on his back for the last 3 years, but it’s not working. The reason Mr. M called was because they have their final oral exams from today and today is the composition paper. So he was asked to write a composition for Mr. M to grade him last week. He did write it, but his writing was so bad that Mr. M asked him to copy it to a fresh page neatly. BB forgot to do it over the weekend and when Mr. M asked him to do it during recess, he refused. So when he called me letting me know about this, I was embarrased, angry and mortified! So I asked Mr. M to keep him after school (one of the options he gave me) and asked S who was at home yesterday to pick him up about 30 minutes after school ended.

Writing this blog has been one of the best things that has happened in my life recently. I feel energised when I write and after starting the Chiki and Chica series for BB & GG, everything I see or hear around me is material for a story. I really want to write stories for children, don’t know why, but in all my forays into writing, it’s always been something for children, never adults. So I took a huge step and sent an email to a local publisher who specialises in children’s books. I asked them if they want to see my writings and even if they don’t want to publish me, can they critique my work so that I can improve on it. They may not even reply, but let’s hope and wait and watch…Watch this space for more news…

Weekends

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I try very hard every weekend to post, but it’s usually an exercise in futility!

I am so looking forward to the school holidays when I will have some sort of breathing space and then there is my super short holiday at the end of the year to look forward to – 12 days of eating, sleeping, lazing around, shopping, playing with the kids – bring it on…

A typical weekend for us during school time goes like this:

Saturdays:
Wake up at 6 am and quickly start on cooking breakfast. Wake up GG, BB & S around 6:30, hustle them to get ready and they leave the house around 7:45 for their Hindi lessons. I then finish cooking and my helper takes over with the cleaning. Then I relax a bit till it’s time to bring them back home. We leave around 12ish as the class ends at 12:30. Then come home, give them lunch and let them relax a bit. Then the next part of rushing starts. Leave around 5:15 pm for music classes followed by GG’s ballet class at 6:45. Back home tired and exhausted by 8ish, then just time enough for dinner, some TV and bed.

Sundays:
Sundays are relatively easier, with just GG’s ballet class in the morning. Most days it is S’s job and once GG is at her class, BB and S will go and do some boy thing, usually involving the car! Once they are back, it’s time for lunch and then a nap! Evenings will mean finishing up homeowork, school work and studying if there are exams in the horizon, otherwise, we may go out.

So, what’s your weekend usually like? I’d love to hear….