Tag Archives: Life

2016 Week 10 Update

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This week I’ve been in a funk! The reality that I will be unemployed in about 6 weeks time probably hit me and I’ve been completely unproductive the whole week. I had plans, none of which I did. I really need to step it up if I have to have any hope come May.

I did send out my resume to a few places last week, but no nibble yet, that probably also had a hand in why I was so out of sorts. Though I have plans on what I will do post May, I also don’t want to be in that position….Its a catch-22 situation for me and I don’t like it one bit!

Big B is being quite nice to me these days and I guess there’s some guilt involved in that. I do plan to let him know if I need to take time off for interviews, but so far there’s nothing, not even a speck in the horizon – guess my age and varied experiences are finally catching up with me, a situation I dislike tremendously.

This week will be a short work week for me as I am on leave on Friday. My sister-in-law is pregnant after trying for close to 10 years and that day is the traditional baby shower. Unlike western cultures, most Indian communities have a very elaborate baby shower or Godh Bharai in Hindi and Seemantham in Tamil. In our community this is done usually in the seventh or ninth month of pregnancy and traditionally this is the date when the pregnant woman leaves for her parents place to complete her pregnancy and deliver the baby. These days though, most women only go to their parents homes after delivery, if at all.

Hopefully, writing this down will be cathartic and I am able to shake off the funk that I’ve been in and this week is a good one! Have a great week people!!

 

My Greatest Fears as a Parent

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over-protective-parenting-cartoon

I’m not this bad…yet!

Every parent in the world has fears about their children. The world we live in, which is more enabled and intrusive than ever before, has so much negativity and evil, that I know for sure as a parent, I fear every time my children leave the house.

I think my greatest fear, as with that of any other parent, would be losing my children. I can’t even imagine such a scenario and honestly, when such a thought comes to my mind, I usually shy away from it and push it away. It is such a scary thought to me that I can’t even imagine it!

Now that we’ve set aside any parent’s greatest fear, I do have other fears for BB & GG.

One of my biggest fears is that they do not fulfill their potential in life. Both are very smart and intelligent people and have a lot to offer others, but and a huge but, is getting them to understand this. With the proliferation of electronic equipment and smartphones, it is so easy to get sucked up in playing games that you tend to lose focus of what is important and when. At this point in their lives, they need to get a good education which will stand them in good stead and help them reach their potential in life. Today’s world is much more competitive than it was before, especially given how easy it is find out information. What took me a couple of weeks of research to find out can be found out with a couple of clicks today and so you are not just competing (for seats in educational institutions or even jobs) with people in your district, state or even country, but with the millions outside about whom you know nothing about! Irrespective of what that is, I will stand by them, but I just wish I had some way of reaching out to them about not wasting time today about game playing!

funny

Another cartoon which sums up us parents perhaps?

GG is today in a vulnerable age where I sometimes really fear for her. With half-baked information about many things that she learns from her peers, sometimes it becomes difficult to know exactly what she knows which is right and what is wrong. I fear that she will get sucked into peer pressure and start relationships. Both are not interested right now, but who knows when this changes. I read in one of the parenting groups I belong on Facebook, that in one of the class whatsapp groups, someone sent a link to a pornographic site which was clicked by others who liked the link! This may be quite strange to western readers, but I guess Asian parents may see my point. Actually this is true, irrespective of the gender of the child. Adolescence is a time when hormones are in full bloom and this is definitely not the time to be thinking of relationships, sexual or otherwise. I have time and again told BB & GG that they should wait till they are more mature about this. My hope for both is to wait till university when they have their heads firmly in their shoulders, but failing that, to be more mature when dealing with relationships. School, with its pressure may not be the right age to have this in the mix. At the end of the day, I hope if they do get into a relationship, I hope they consider me a friend and are willing to confide in me.

I don’t want them to grow up entitled, behaving like jerks. They are growing up in a a country which is fairly affluent as compared to its neighbors and I have seen first-hand behavior of my countrymen behaving with a huge sense of arrogance entitlement when they travel abroad. I want GG & BB to learn to appreciate the beauty and culture everywhere and know that everywhere in the world there’s a huge opportunity to learn.
These are my top three worries as a parent. I actually have more, but thought, I’ll keep that for another day. What about you? Do you have any worries for your child? I’d be happy to read them….

If I were Stranded on a Deserted Island…

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The other day I was reading and there was a post on the top things you would have with you if you were stranded. Most people had very innovative and practical items to have on hand, but this actually got me thinking – do we actually think we will be stranded when we travel and have the x number of items on our person? So anyway this got me thinking and if I were ever stranded, especially on a deseted and desolate island where communication is an issue and I am the only person there (aka Robinson Crusoe), this is what I hope I have on myself – otherwise I guess I am doomed!

  1. A solar powered iPhone: This is so that I can try to communicate with the world in a bid to be saved. This should also help in passing the time should I be bored and will also take the place of my books because my phone is always pre-loaded with books. I can also listen to music on my phone so this one phone will actually be the equivalent of 3 items….
  2. A Swiss Army Knife: This is a no-brainer! This will check so many boxes for survival that it should probably be number 1.
  3. Pen and Notebooks: Since I will be free of all distractions, this enforced period of boredom should help me flesh out the book that has been inside me for aeons.
  4. A giant pack of matches: To help me light fires. I’ve never been a Guide or Scout, so no idea on how to light fires using flints or stones!
  5. A solar powered flashlight: This would help me see in the dark and also hopefully frighten away any animals at night.
  6. Sunscreen: Skin cancer anyone? Not me!
  7. Lipstick: Because I am vain like that…
  8. Hammock: Deserted islands have plenty of trees and reading while lying on a hammock is absolute bliss. And of course, this eliminates the need to sleep on a hard floor with god alone knows what bugs and insects.
  9. Toothbrush and Toothpaste: I hate a furry mouth, though I’d need to find a freshwater source before I can actually use it. I’ve brushed in salt/brackish water once and it was an experience I do not ever wish to repeat!
  10. Canned food items: Since I am a vegetarian, I can’t depend on ocean’s bounty to feed me so some canned food for me to survive. I will use my Swiss knife to open the cans and my matches to cook anything I need to cook!

What about you? What would you bring with you if you were ever stranded on a deserted and desolate island?

What if I Won the Lottery?

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Earlier this week one of my colleagues sent around an email asking if we were interested in pitching money to play the lottery. This is one of the biggest draws of the year and most people in Singapore, even if they don’t gamble at all, try to put some money for the Chinese New Year draw. After all, who would not like to win big with a small investment! This year’s Hong Bao draw () prize has now snowballed to S$13.9 million and the draw is later today…

I’ve been imagining on and off what I would do if I ever won the lottery. I am not so greedy, so I never dream of winning really big (think billions or even a few millions), but I’d really love to win a million (or even a few hundred thousand!)

So with the assumption that I’ve won a few million, here are my top things to do if I won a lottery….

  1. We don’t have a lot of debts with housing and car loans the biggest ones. So one of the first things I’d do would be to pay off my housing loan and if there’s anything left over, use that to make the down payment for a new flat which I will use as passive income stream. If the win is serious money (talking about 10 million and more), I’ll probably use it to purchase multiple properties (housing and commercial) as investments.
  2. I would also love to buy a bigger house, my dream home, one with a minimum of 6 bedrooms, one each for us, BB, GG, my parents, my in-laws and guests, each with its own ensuite bathroom, a large kitchen and living room and rooms for our domestic helpers. Since it’s a dream home, I’d want the house to have two granny flats – one for my parents and one for S’ mum and aunt, both featuring a small mini kitchenette and a living room so both sets of parents live with us, but are independent at the same time.
  3. Spend some money in doing up the houses in what would be my version of a dream home – including having a dedicated space for the loads of books I will own!
    Set up education funds for BB & GG so that they are able to study what they want and where they want without feeling that we cannot afford it. I’d also invest in getting good coaching for them now while they are still in school so that they are able to make the points in achieving their dream careers.
  4. Invest a good chunk of the lottery money. I don’t have great knowledge on this, so I’d probably hire someone to go this for this. This would secure not only our present, but also our future and retirement.
  5. Leave my job and become a SAHM as we can now afford it! Take time to really spend quality time with my family.
  6. Splurge on nice holidays for my family (including parents and in-laws) and see the world. I have extended family literally across the globe and have made so many plans to visit them, but the fact that for a family of 4 adults, any holiday (even to a nearby destination) becomes expensive and travelling across the globe is something we need to budget for, so a fairly large travel budget will be really god sent! I’d also love to splurge some money on first class travel for my family, parents and in-laws.
  7. Invest in a private trainer for my family so that we become the healthiest we can become. This will also include investing money in hiring a great cook, who can whip up tasty and healthy food for us.
  8. Spend some money on splurges for my family (including the extended ones) so that they can all buy some things which they’ve always wanted, but probably can’t.
    Buy S a new car, hopefully his dream car, but if not that, maybe one that he loves more than our current one.
  9. Lastly, I’d want to give back something to society. At this point, I don’t know what and how, but I do know I’d love to give back to the lesser fortunate, especially children. Since I’d not need to work for a living, I want to volunteer my time as well as money.

Well, it’s all wishful thinking at this point, but it was nice writing this post dreaming of all that I’d get and do should I win a few millions in the lottery!

What are your top wishes if you won big?

Dreams Revisited

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I was going to post this in my weekly update, but when I started typing it, it became a whole new post, hence posting it today! I also wrote about another really vivid dream I had about 8-9 months back

This week I’ve had some real vivid dreams. I dreamt about planes, travel, holidays three days in a row and then one about a quarrel with my mum! I am going to document what the dreams were, so if there are any changes in life, I know it’s here and I don’t forget.

Dream 1
In the first dream, I am transiting in Bangalore on the way to Singapore and decide to leave the airport and go out. It is night time and I end up in a very happening party. I talk to people and suddenly see a male friend whom I have not seen for a while. While talking and catching up, I suddenly realise I need to get back to the airport. My friend volunteers to drop me back. We reach the airport which is deserted and stroll in, going upto the runway when we suddenly see the SQ flight take off. I am not at the least bit upset, but just comment, “Oh dear, I’ve missed my flight, I don’t know when I will get to Singapore.” I don’t remember anything beyond this and probably woke up at this point.

Dream 2
The second dream is a lot more fuzzy, but it has something to do with a flying club and BB. I do remember thinking that I had another plane dream when I woke up but nothing else…

Dream 3
This one is the most vivid one, especially when I just woke it. It took me a couple of seconds to come back to the earth! In this dream, S, BB, GG and I are in London. We are in an AirBnB rental place and the kids are not happy with their bedroom. I take soiled clothes and put them into a washing machine, commenting to S about why we didn’t try this route before.

There’s a knock and someone comes in – I couldn’t recognize him, but I am guessing he was local and he passes me a paper. I can’t remember now what it was, but in the dream it made perfect sense. Something about him passing it from someone or I passing him something. Then he passes me a map of London and we start planning our itinerary, I remember seeing the Parliament House and the Buckingham House in the map.

Next I remember being outside and also thinking I should write a novel set in London and see if I could get away with it without actually being there. At the outside place, I saw some people who seemed familiar. At this point the alarm rang and I woke up.

Dream 4
I had another weird dream. This time, I was around 20 odd years old, living at home with my parents and sister. It was just my mum, sister and me in the dream. I need to go to school and my mum was asking me to make something. I don’t know why, but I was against doing that and was mouthing her off. I reluctantly did what I was supposed to do, banging things around.

My sister also needed to go to school and the word Aston/Ashton was very emphatic in the dream. I think this was the school I was to go to? When I finally finish, I decide to take a taxi and drop my sister to school on the way. We get down and I suddenly realise I do not have the address of Aston/Ashton and start googling it using my phone (there were no mobiles then, or if there were, only the very rich could afford them, leave aside smartphones)!

We get a taxi and I also find out the address but suddenly realise that by the time I get to school, it will be over. I don’t remember much after this, or perhaps I woke up. I’ve never spoken to my mum like I did in the dream, at least not since I grew up and went to college. She was more a friend than a mum. My dad perhaps sometimes as I am more like him than my mum in temperament and when we tend to disagree, both stand their ground and won’t budge. It’s up to my mum to play the peacemaker!

I googled what the dreams meant and it’s absolutely fascinating!

Dreaming about missing a flight means there’s something missing in your life, possibly direction, confidence or intimacy. It’s a fear of missing something important and is possibly related to the stress in your waking hours. This is possibly due to my current work situation, but in the dream there was no fear when I missed the flight, just an Oh Oh moment!

Dreaming about London or any other big city usually has references to socializing and making friends. If you are on a holiday or socializing in the big city, then positive changes are afoot.

If you are in an empty Airport in your dream, it means that changes are afoot and shortly you will have a situation that must come to ahead

When you travel to a new place that you’ve never been before in a dream, it means that you desire for changes to occur in your life or changes are going to occur, which you may know or not. This is to enable you to move forward in life. Again if you enjoyed the trip, then the changes may be more positive than negative

When you quarrel with someone in your dream, it means some sort of a struggle which you are facing in your life. Quarreling with friends or business associates indicate positive changes. It also means that everything will be going very well and quarrelling with family means the whole family will live in harmony.

If your mother comes in your dream, it represents the nurturing aspect of your own character and having a conversation with her indicates a matter which has preoccupied you which you are not sure how to deal with it during your waking hours, representing unresolved problems.

Ah well, I am going to take all these interpretations with a huge pinch of salt! I will definitely update here if there are positive changes to my life soon!