Category Archives: Life

Dreams Revisited

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I was going to post this in my weekly update, but when I started typing it, it became a whole new post, hence posting it today! I also wrote about another really vivid dream I had about 8-9 months back

This week I’ve had some real vivid dreams. I dreamt about planes, travel, holidays three days in a row and then one about a quarrel with my mum! I am going to document what the dreams were, so if there are any changes in life, I know it’s here and I don’t forget.

Dream 1
In the first dream, I am transiting in Bangalore on the way to Singapore and decide to leave the airport and go out. It is night time and I end up in a very happening party. I talk to people and suddenly see a male friend whom I have not seen for a while. While talking and catching up, I suddenly realise I need to get back to the airport. My friend volunteers to drop me back. We reach the airport which is deserted and stroll in, going upto the runway when we suddenly see the SQ flight take off. I am not at the least bit upset, but just comment, “Oh dear, I’ve missed my flight, I don’t know when I will get to Singapore.” I don’t remember anything beyond this and probably woke up at this point.

Dream 2
The second dream is a lot more fuzzy, but it has something to do with a flying club and BB. I do remember thinking that I had another plane dream when I woke up but nothing else…

Dream 3
This one is the most vivid one, especially when I just woke it. It took me a couple of seconds to come back to the earth! In this dream, S, BB, GG and I are in London. We are in an AirBnB rental place and the kids are not happy with their bedroom. I take soiled clothes and put them into a washing machine, commenting to S about why we didn’t try this route before.

There’s a knock and someone comes in – I couldn’t recognize him, but I am guessing he was local and he passes me a paper. I can’t remember now what it was, but in the dream it made perfect sense. Something about him passing it from someone or I passing him something. Then he passes me a map of London and we start planning our itinerary, I remember seeing the Parliament House and the Buckingham House in the map.

Next I remember being outside and also thinking I should write a novel set in London and see if I could get away with it without actually being there. At the outside place, I saw some people who seemed familiar. At this point the alarm rang and I woke up.

Dream 4
I had another weird dream. This time, I was around 20 odd years old, living at home with my parents and sister. It was just my mum, sister and me in the dream. I need to go to school and my mum was asking me to make something. I don’t know why, but I was against doing that and was mouthing her off. I reluctantly did what I was supposed to do, banging things around.

My sister also needed to go to school and the word Aston/Ashton was very emphatic in the dream. I think this was the school I was to go to? When I finally finish, I decide to take a taxi and drop my sister to school on the way. We get down and I suddenly realise I do not have the address of Aston/Ashton and start googling it using my phone (there were no mobiles then, or if there were, only the very rich could afford them, leave aside smartphones)!

We get a taxi and I also find out the address but suddenly realise that by the time I get to school, it will be over. I don’t remember much after this, or perhaps I woke up. I’ve never spoken to my mum like I did in the dream, at least not since I grew up and went to college. She was more a friend than a mum. My dad perhaps sometimes as I am more like him than my mum in temperament and when we tend to disagree, both stand their ground and won’t budge. It’s up to my mum to play the peacemaker!

I googled what the dreams meant and it’s absolutely fascinating!

Dreaming about missing a flight means there’s something missing in your life, possibly direction, confidence or intimacy. It’s a fear of missing something important and is possibly related to the stress in your waking hours. This is possibly due to my current work situation, but in the dream there was no fear when I missed the flight, just an Oh Oh moment!

Dreaming about London or any other big city usually has references to socializing and making friends. If you are on a holiday or socializing in the big city, then positive changes are afoot.

If you are in an empty Airport in your dream, it means that changes are afoot and shortly you will have a situation that must come to ahead

When you travel to a new place that you’ve never been before in a dream, it means that you desire for changes to occur in your life or changes are going to occur, which you may know or not. This is to enable you to move forward in life. Again if you enjoyed the trip, then the changes may be more positive than negative

When you quarrel with someone in your dream, it means some sort of a struggle which you are facing in your life. Quarreling with friends or business associates indicate positive changes. It also means that everything will be going very well and quarrelling with family means the whole family will live in harmony.

If your mother comes in your dream, it represents the nurturing aspect of your own character and having a conversation with her indicates a matter which has preoccupied you which you are not sure how to deal with it during your waking hours, representing unresolved problems.

Ah well, I am going to take all these interpretations with a huge pinch of salt! I will definitely update here if there are positive changes to my life soon!

2016 Week 5 Update

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One down and eleven more to go….I meant the months!

This week was the usual week in terms of work, essentially meaning that I don’t have much to do at the moment. On Monday, I was supposed to meet Big B in the morning which was moved to the afternoon. So we spoke and he had rearranged the jobscope I had given him earlier to tweak it a bit which was good as it now had admin right at the bottom which was what I really wanted. He reworked some of the other stuff I had written to make it a bit sexier, so that was also good. I also suspect that he spoke to my ex-boss as some of the things Big B spoke to me sounded suspiciously like what ex-boss said!

Now he needs to make a case for me and for the higher ups to decide if they want to keep me. Let’s see what happens. At this point, I am pretty ambivalent about things, on one hand, it will be good to have a permanent position in this organization and I do not need to start all over again in a new place. But then, a chance to start new is also quite tempting. I have sent out my resume to a number of positions that were interesting on a couple of jobsites, but there’s no news yet.

In this organization, those like me who are on contract are treated as second class citizens and this is something that irritates me no end. I’ve done a bit of protesting in my own way, but I seriously doubt anyone will even bother!

The recruitment company also sent through my appraisal that Big B did for me and I suspect he has lowered scores after we discussed. I don’t like it one bit! Big B gave me a much lesser score compared to what I’ve been getting and so this affects my bonus! The places I missed out on was on relationships and liking my job. Not liking it one bit!! Guess I need to up my social skills aspect if I am to stay on here, especially with Big B around.

Anyway, all this is in the past and hopefully things settle down well and good and things work out for the best.

I’ve also read 14 books this month, which is roughly 11% of my total books for the year. If things go on as they are, I will probably up my reading challenge later so more books to read. I’ve also decided to read one non-fun or serious, non-fiction book per month. This means I will read 12 such books in a year. Quite achievable I think. This could include anything and everything I am interested in with the exception of what I usually read so this excludes fiction and travel books. I’ve bookmarked some interesting books, now I need to find them in the library and borrow one of these. I may also read them through the overdrive app.

The Greatest Single Bane of Today’s Society – Corruption

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CorrSingapore has been named the 8th least corrupt country in the world and tops the Asian rankings. It received a score of 85 out of 100 in the Corruption Perception Index which is issued by Transparency International which measures perceived levels of public sector corruption worldwide.

CPI2015_global_ENWorldwide two-thirds of the 168 countries which were tracked actually scored below 50 on a scale from 0 (perceived to be very corrupt) to 100 (perceived to be very clean)
The top spot went to Denmark for the second time in a row with a score of 91. The top ten countries are in the order of rank – Denmark, Finland, Sweden, New Zealand, Netherlands, Norway (joint 5th with Netherlands), Switzerland, Singapore, Canada and Germany

So what made Denmark score so well? According to Transperancy International, top performers share key characteristics: high levels of press freedom; access to budget information so the public knows where money comes from and how it is spent; high levels of integrity among people in power; and judiciaries that don’t differentiate between rich and poor, and that are truly independent from other parts of government.

Somalia and North Korea ended the list at the bottom with a score of only 8. The other countries in the bottom ten were Afghanistan, Sudan, South Sudan, Angola, Libya, Iraq, Venezuela and Guinea-Bissau. Conflict and war, poor governance, weak public institutions like police and the judiciary, and a lack of independence in the media characterise the lowest ranked countries.

CPI_2015_AsiaPacific_ENSo how do countries closer to home stack up? Hong Kong which is seen as a competitor to Singapore in many aspects was at 18 as was Japan. Singapore’s nearest neighbor and the closest ASEAN country is at 54 with the other ASEAN countries much below Malaysia. Thailand is next at 76, followed by Indonesia at 88, Philippines at 95, Vietnam at 112, Laos at 139, Myanmar at 147 and Cambodia bringing up the rear at 150.

India’s score of 38 made it at number 176 along with Bosnia and Herzegovina, Brazil, Bukina Faso, Thailand, Tunisia and Zambia. India’s closest neighbours fare as follows: Sri Lanka and China at 83, Pakistan at 117, Nepal at 130 and Bangladesh at 139.

The results are not that surprising given Singapore’s strong stance on corruption. The country publically names and shames those, especially civil servants and those in high office who are accused of corruption. They also employ legal proceedings against them and sentence them. Hence the high score, which, given how corruption is dealt in the country, could also be higher!

Now, in the other countries in South and Southeast Asia, corruption is a way of life. Corrupt economies do not function as well as non-corrupt ones as the very fact of corruption prevents the natural law of economy from functioning well and freely.
Many people just automatically add the cost of corruption to whatever they need to pay for, especially when dealing with government officials. It is due to this that most people do not have any faith in their public servants, elected or otherwise. Implementation of public services suffers as those need to be paid for, even if they are the basic essentials which every citizen is entitled to. Another casualty is justice as more often than not, justice is either delayed or denied as some of the judiciary may be in the pay of the offenders and let them go scot-free.

Corruption also leads to a loss of growth in that country’s economy as many investors would be reluctant, rightly so, to invest in the country, leading to unemployment or underemployment, lack of infrastructure and development of regions which need them the most. This in turn leads to regression of female empowerment, gender imbalance and female infanticide.

Reading the last two paragraphs make me realise all these are hallmarks of countries which have low Gross Domestic Product (GDP) which is the most commonly referenced figure which covers the national economy of any country and which is used to determined to estimate how wealthy or poor a country and it’s people. Click here and here to understand GDP and GDP with Purchasing Power Parity (PPP) which explains the concepts so much better than I can hope to…

CPI2015_map and country results

CPI2015_map
So where does your country stack up?

2016 Week 4 Update

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I wrote myself a new jobscope and went back to Big B. I did get feedback from my previous boss and his first comment was “Do you really want to stay on given all the changes happening here?” Which was a valid point, some of the stuff I’ve been hearing over the past week have indicated that there’s trouble in paradise!

I showed Big B the jobscope I wrote for myself, and he did seem think there’s something in it. We’re meeting again today to discuss it further. The company which employes me has written to say they will be renewing the contract for another 3 months, which was what Big B also mentioned. Hopefully, by the end of February, I’ll have a better grasp of what is happening here. I have started to look for opportunities, but age is against me this time I know and it will be difficult….

On the home-front, things are going on well, the children are settling down in school, though a bit boring. I’m looking forward to the Chinese New Year long weekend in two weeks time for some R&R, more importantly sleep!

Have a great week folks!
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No Expectations….No Disappointments

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Expectation

Expectations: The act or state of looking forward or anticipating

Every day in our lives, we live in expectation of something or the other – the expectation that our needs will be met, the expectation we will get a promotion, our kids will do well in school and so it goes on and on!

The reality is that most of our expectations do not get met, which sets us up for major disappointments in life. What we do not realise that our expectations in life set the stage for a lot of unhappiness in our lives.

Last year when BB & GG were in their PSLE year, I went through many cycles of expectations – that they will be successful in their DSAs and get into their dream schools, that they do spectacularly well in the exams and get into the schools through the posting route, that I land a great job and so on and so forth. Each time when my expectations didn’t yield the results I wanted, I used to be very disappointed and in some cases, even went under mild bouts of depression. I was very disappointed, irritable and grouchy and then when things didn’t happen as I expected them to, even disillusioned with life and GoD! This took a toll on my relationships with everyone – S, BB & GG and even my helper. I think I was at my worst when the PSLE results came out and both didn’t do as well as we expected them to (see that expectation again!)

Sometime during the year-end holidays, something metamorphosed internally and I decided I will not have any expectations at all, if things happen, then that’s wonderful, but I will be happy with any outcome. It’s been a month now and I have found these benefits of not having any or having very low expectations:

Low Stress Levels: When I started to let go and had no expectations, I found that I was not as much stressed as before. I was not too hung up on the possible outcomes and any of the outcomes which would arise were all equal to me, hence it did not matter what the outcome was and so much lower stress levels. As an example, when the children had to choose their Co-Curricular Activity (CCA), BB had put the Flying Club as his first choice. This CCA was one of the main reasons that BB had chosen his secondary school and if he didn’t get it, it would negate the whole reason for putting the school as his first choice. Later after the choices were exercised, I heard that for every available place, there were 2-3 applicants and that the club was being very selective this year. Previously, I would have prayed hard for this outcome and bartered with God as well as have high expectations on BB being selected. This time, I told myself, it does not matter what CCA BB gets, it will be ok. With such low expectations, I was very pleasantly surprised when BB did get the Flying Club as his CCA!

Better Relationships: I can’t stress enough on this benefit. When I was high strung with the load of expectations, my relationship with everyone was based on the expectation I had from them. When I removed expectations from the equation, things became much smoother. When we remove expectations from our loved ones, we open ourselves to them and have a much better relationship with them.

Peace of Mind: One blessed by-product of letting go of expectations has been a better quality of sleep for me. I don’t have a million things swirling around my head all the time and especially at night, which used to impact both quality and quantity of sleep. These days I sleep almost as soon as my head touches the pillow. I have a lot of inner peace also as I am no longer caught up with the whys and whats of life. I no longer over analyse my life which has resulted in a lot of inner calm!

Become more Aware: As I start to let go of expectations, I realise I am becoming more aware of myself, my internal self, the one that no one really knows about. When I start to have expectations, I internalize it and try to let it go, this way raising internal awareness. I am also able to focus more on the present and not on a vague future based on my expectations which leads to peace of mind.

So let go of potential outcomes and learn to live in the now. You will also find that life suddenly becomes so much easier and happier!