The Night of Terror – An Unforgettable Day!

Posted on November 25, 2015 by memoriesandsuch

I woke up, excited and happy on the morning of November 26, 2008. I was going to Mumbai later that evening on a Jet Airways flight, flying with BB & GG alone for the first time since they were born. They were 5 years old and were equally excited to be seeing their grandparents that evening.

Everything changed around 7 am when I got a message from my sister, who was in the States at that point, asking me if I was still going to Mumbai. I had no clue what was happening in Mumbai. I waited impatiently till a decent time to call my parents to find out more, and in the meantime rushed to work as I was supposed to be working half day that day. I went online and was shocked by what I read. Twitter, which was around two years old then had exploded with tweets on the situation!

What had happened was that 10 Pakistani members of Lashkar-e-Taiba, an Islamic militant organisation, carried out a series of 12 coordinated shooting and bombing attacks lasting four days across Mumbai. The attacks, which drew widespread global condemnation, began on Wednesday, 26 November and lasted until Saturday, 29 November 2008, killing 164 people and wounding at least 308.

Eight of the attacks occurred in South Mumbai: at Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus (VT train station), the Oberoi Trident, the Taj Mahal Palace & Tower, (one of the worst places of the killings), Leopold Cafe, Cama Hospital, the Nariman House Jewish community centre, the Metro Cinema, and in a lane behind the Times of India building and St. Xavier’s College. There was also an explosion at Mazagaon, in Mumbai’s port area, and in a taxi at Vile Parle (close to the domestic airport). By the early morning of 28 November, all sites except for the Taj hotel had been secured by Mumbai Police and security forces. On 29 November, India’s National Security Guards (NSG) conducted ‘Operation Black Tornado’ to flush out the remaining attackers; it resulted in the deaths of the last remaining attackers at the Taj hotel and ending all fighting in the attacks.

Ajmal Kasab, the only attacker who was captured alive, later confessed upon interrogation that the attacks were conducted with the support of the Pakistan government’s intelligence agency, the ISI. Kasab was tried and later hanged in Yerwada jail in 2012.

S was on leave that day as he gets more leave than me. I quickly called him and spoke to him. My inlaws were scared of us travelling that evening and asked me to cancel the trip. I was torn – on one hand I didn’t want to risk the trip, on the other hand, I so desperately wanted to go home and meet my parents (I think at that point, it was a year since I had met them). I called the airline office in Singapore and was met with indifference. They seemed not to have any idea of what was happening in their head office city and told me they didn’t have directive from Mumbai (the head quarters of the airline). The flight will take off as scheduled was what I was told. My mother-in-law didn’t want me to travel, but I didn’t listen to her, saying since the flight was scheduled, we’ll go to the airport and decide then. I spent the whole day glued to the internet for any scraps of news that I could get. I told my parents that we are making the trip and to come to the airport to pick us up. Now that was a new problem – due to the trouble, the city was on curfew and there was no one willing to drive them to the airport. Finally around the time we left for the airport, my dad messaged me that they had finally found someone brave enough to drive his taxi to the airport and pick us up. One problem solved, loads more to go…

Praying to the entire pantheon of Gods in Indian Mythology, we left for the airport. We were one of the first ones to check-in. The mood was quite somber. There was a Channel News Asia crew near the check-in counter interviewing passengers brave (or mad) enough to fly to Mumbai. They were looking for Singaporeans against Indians and approached me to ask if I was willing to be interviewed. I did mention that I am not a local, but was told that I spoke like one, so could pass off as one! I was asked if I was scared of going to Mumbai while the shootings were going on and I remember replying that this was very far from the airport, and so the airport area should be safeish (is this even a word?)!

We flew into Mumbai and the airport was very somber and dull! Everyone working the shift was glued to the television screens which were showing live the places where the terrorists had held the hostages. None of the customs officers were really interested in looking at our luggage and we were out in record time. I was so relived to meet my parents and we quickly got into the taxi and drove home. At that point in time (this was before the new flyover which has dramatically shortened travel time from the airport to my home), the normal travel time between the airport to home was 45 – 60 mins. That day, we did the journey in 20 minutes! Once home, I heaved a big sigh of relief and then spent the next few days glued to the television….

This was the most unforgettable day in my life and a flight to remember…..

My Name is My Own

Posted on October 28, 2015 by memoriesandsuch

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet” – William Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet

Once upon a time…..actually this start has nothing to do with my post today, but since this is something I’ve thought over a long time, I decided to use it!

I’ve been a feminist for a long time, even before I knew what the word meant. I guess, growing up without any brothers meant that my sister and I were given a more liberal upbringing than most girls we knew. That might have been the starting of my innate feminism I guess!

Growing up, I always wondered why a woman should change her name to reflect that of her husband when she got married. I didn’t really do anything about this because this was the norm in India when I was growing up and I didn’t see anyone bucking this. However, this changed when I started working. One of my first supervisors, a wonderful woman, got married when we were working together and didn’t change her name. However, HR assumed she would do so and I remember the first day she came back after her honeymoon, she got a note and in the envelope was her married name: Mrs. XXX

She was furious and sent out a note to HR letting them know that unless she officially sent them intimation about her name change, they could not arbitrarily change her name without her permission. I witnessed the whole drama and asked her why. She replied that she is a person in her own right and is not an extension of her husband and so is not planning to change her name, now or ever. This got me thinking and I also started looking at the possibility of not changing my name when I got married.

When I got married later in life, there was not much time to do anything except get to Singapore after the wedding. In this hustle and bustle, the whole process of changing names just got left over. My passport was in my maiden name and changing names (Indian bureaucracy is to be seen to be believed) would mean I could not fly to Singapore with S. In fact, if I remember correctly, this topic didn’t appear in anyone’s consciousness and I flew to Singapore in my maiden name.

Then I decided, I will not change me name. My whole life, prior to my wedding, was as important to me as my life after it, and so a name change will probably mean starting a new life from zero. Also all school and work records are in my maiden name, so this will mean a big explanation each time I show these records to potential employers. I also thought that since my parents raised me to be the person I am today, it is only right I honour them by continuing to keep my maiden name.

S was cool about this since most women do not change names after marriage in Singapore. This is because they get their National Registration Identity Card (NRIC) at the age of 15, when no-one is married and so girls continue with this name through their lives.

I sometimes wonder if this would have been a bigger issue if I lived elsewhere than Singapore, but c’st la vie!

Isn’t it unfair that guys don’t have to do anything like this? What do you think?

These are a few of my Favourite Things

Posted on September 11, 2015 by memoriesandsuch

As the song goes….Raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens…..from the Sound of Music, one of my favourite movies growing up. I must have seen the movie so many times that I think at one point, I could recite all the dialogues and songs, I loved it so much!

My favourite people in the world are my kids and S, followed by my parents. I think I can spend days with them, of course, sometimes each of them do things that infuriate me and irritate me, but I love them loads and can’t live without them. One of my secret worries in life is losing any of them – losing a child is a parent’s worst nightmare and I am also the same, but everytime S is late and I can’t reach him, I start imagining the worst. Another nightmare I am still not ready for is for my parents to leave me. I know, logically and practically, this will happen sometime, but I want this to happen later than sooner. I am still not ready to not have my parents at the other end of a phone call!

The next thing I can’t really live without are books, of course! I love reading and as it’s evident here and in my other blog, I need to read as much as I need to breathe. This has gotten me into lots of trouble in school (think reading in class, material that the rest of them had not yet graduated to). I was a very precocious reader, very often reading books 3-4 grades above. In the school library, I remember there was this cupboard which was mostly kept locked. I used to wonder what was in there that they didn’t want us to read and once somewhere in grade 7 or 8, I got the librarian to open it up as I had read all the books in the shelves meant for us. There I discovered adult books. I remember reading George Orwell’s 1984 around that age. It may not seem great these days for a 12/13 year old to reach such books, but in those days, given that there was no internet, India was still a socialist economy, people didn’t read for fun. I was that oddball who wanted to read, not because it was mandated by school, but because I just wanted to. We didn’t have access to many books beyond the school library and I remember I used to beg and borrow books, so much that I used to read older students school books (subjects like History, Geography and English) just so I had material to read!

I am so glad BB & GG, especially GG share my love for reading. GG is a lot like me in this respect, she will probably read a lot and widely as she grows up. BB is more a non-fiction boy – he prefers to read what his passions are – which is usually something to do with planes, cars and trains (in that order). I have to push him to read fiction.

Another favourite thing is music. Most days at work, I am plugged into earphones listening to music while working (I am listening to new age music as I type this). I usually listen to Indian music, mostly Bollywood music while at work, but I also like Fusion, New Age and Classical (both Indian and Western). I rarely, if never, listen to western rock and pop. I may change my mind sometime, if GG & BB start listening to such music at home, but as of now, it’s not something that still appeals to me.

Travelling to new places, soaking up on different cultures and learning new things are among the other things I adore. Since BB & GG’s birth, we haven’t done much travel, but the last year or so, we’ve made it a point to visit a new place each trip. Now that they move to secondary school and are teens/young adults, I envision more trips in the future. I plan to start taking them around the region and then the world’s our oyster. We do need to make periodic trips to India to keep in touch with our roots as well as visit the grandparents and other relatives (part of keeping in touch with your roots), but I want to add small side trips each time to a different part of India. India is so vast and beautiful, with so much to offer, that it’ll take a while before we discover the whole country. I have a big bucket list of places to see before I die and should start making a serious dent on that list.

So here you have – a list of some of my favourite things. I’ll leave you with the song which inspired this post, Maria’s favourite things from The Sound of Music

Navroze Mubarak

Posted on August 19, 2015 by memoriesandsuch

Saal Mubarak! With these words, Parsis across the world would have greeted each other tomorrow as they heralded the arrival of their new year. Another greeting heard across the agiaries (Fire Temples) would have been Navroze Mubarak!

I studied for 12 years in a Parsi school and so this community holds a special place in my heart. This small, minority community comprises of the followers of Zarathustra. The Parsis in India are those who fled Persia (modern day Iran) due to religious persecution and arrived in western India (modern day Gujarat, Kutch in India and Sindh in Pakistan).

There’s a very sweet story that was told to me in school about the Parsis’ arrival in India. When they arrived in Gujarat, the leader of the Parsis, the head priest or Dastoorji, sent a messanger to the local king asking for his permission to stay in his land as refugees. The king sent back a bowl full of milk. The Dastoorji looked at the bowl of milk his messenger brought back, added a spoon of sugar to it and sent it back to the king. The King understood the message and gave them permission. Soon one of the people in the Parsi group asked the Dastoorji what just happened and he replied that the bowl of milk the king sent over indicated that the land was currently occupied and full and he didn’t want to do anything to disrupt the lives of his people. By mixing sugar in the milk, the Priest sent a message that the Parsis will do nothing to disrupt the land and it’s people and instead, like how sugar adds sweetness to the milk, they will assimilate into the land and only add to the sweetness of this land and not take away anything. And this is how the Parsis adapted the Gujarati way of life – in their language or dialect as well as the dress. Parsis speak a dialect of Gujarati, which we call Parsi Gujarati and women also adopted the saree as their main form of dress.

The more recent arrivals of Parsis, those who arrived in late 19th and early 20th centuries, fleeing from the repressions of the Qajar dynasty in Iran are differentiated from the original Parsi settlers and are called Iranis. This Irani community is smaller than the Parsi community, though both profess the same religion, but religious customs may be slightly different.

In the centuries that they have lived in India, the Parsis, have integrated themselves into the Indian society, while at the same time, maintaining their ethnic individuality.

This community has been faced with dwindling numbers for a while now, the most significant being childlessness or having less than two numbers (which is basically the total fertility rate) or migration. Demographic trends project that by the year 2020 the Parsis will number only 23,000 (less than 0.002% of the 2001 population of India). The Parsis will then cease to be called a community and will be labeled a ‘tribe’.

During the British rule of India, because this community was highly literate and extremely fluent in English, they occupied many important places in the East India Company.

One interesting aspect of the Parsis is that instead of burying or cremating their dead, they place their dead in a Tower of Death where vultures peck the body and pick it clean. Once the bones are bleached by the sun, they are pushed into the circular opening in the tower. They believe, this way is the most ecological way, where even the dead are used as food by vultures and no part of the polluted human body is pushed back into the earth (by burying it) or into the atmosphere (by cremating it).

The Parsi place pf worship is called an Agiary in the Parsi dialect or a Fire Temple in English. The most holy place for Parsis in India is a place called Udwada in Gujarat. Legend says that one of the groups of refugees brought with them the ash of one of sacred fires from Iran and this ash serves, even today, as the bed for the fire in the Udwada Agiary. I remember friends from school going to the Agiary which used to be opposite our school before important exams. Unfortunately, as a non-Parsi I can’t enter the Agiary.

The Parsis have made considerable contributions to the history and development of India, all the more remarkable considering their small numbers. As the maxim “Parsi, thy name is charity” reveals, their greatest contribution, literally and figuratively, is their philanthropy.

Majulah Singapura…..

Posted on August 7, 2015 by memoriesandsuch

The Jubilee Weekend started today! To commemorate Singapore’s 50th year of independence which falls on Sunday, we got an extra SG50 holiday today! So today’s post is picture post, dedicated to Singapore – Happy Birthday Singapore…..