Random Thoughts – Gender Equality

2000px-igualtat_de_sexes-svgThis week, I’ve had many thoughts swirling in my head, which I thought needed a post all by itself, rather than put it down in my weekly update, where it may not be really relevant.

One of the big news in the papers last week was about the risqué and sometimes obscene games played at the freshmen orientation at the National University of Singapore (NUS). Apparently, this is common in other Singapore universities too – Nanyang Technological University (NTU) and Singapore Management University (SMU). Reports said that the games were very sexualised in nature with some even invoking feelings of incest.

16d42f1Orientation camps are a chance for the incoming freshmen to meet other new students and make friends. As parents of young teens who will soon get into one of these universities (hopefully), this is cause for concern to me. Since all Singaporean and Singapore Permanent Resident males have to complete their national service before they enter university, this means that there is a two-year gap in age between the men and women who enter the freshman year. This becomes as much as six years or more when you compare a female freshman versus a male final year student.

Some students (both male and female) who were at the orientation didn’t feel that the games were wrong, which lead me to think how they thought of female emancipation. Games like this, which are often under the leadership of the student council and perhaps the university management tacitly condone sexism and misogyny at a very impressionable age. It becomes worse because, in these games, it’s often the men who play the aggressor and the women, the victims. I am a feminist and I strongly believe that when young men look at women in such a sexual way, in what is essentially a very non-sexual environment, then it leads them to be conditioned to think of women in such ways in other such non-sexual environments such as at work. This leads to a life-long tendency to believe that women are very inferior to them and always act in ways which do not demonstrate true gender equality. I guess when men who do not want to take part in such games, protest, they are then ridiculed and called names for being wimps!

The university has stopped all these games for this year at least and hopefully this will lead to a serious review on what can and cannot be acceptable.

stock-vector-colourful-hands-with-male-and-female-symbol-love-marriage-gender-equality-human-rights-and-120122377This actually leads to the other thing I have been thinking about for a week now. I usually steer clear of politics and since I am not a political commentator, I like to leave that to the experts. But I am sure everyone, including me, is watching the US Presidential elections run-up. I was very happy when the democrats finally (really finally!) elected a woman to become their nominee, in what was a historical moment in the history of the country. I along with millions of women worldwide cheered at this, but I was also a bit perturbed that it took them almost 240 years after independence to have a woman at spitting distance of the highest office in the country. For a country which calls itself the ‘greatest country in the world’, this is a bit disturbing as it does not really show that this greatness also lies in the equality of its daughters and sons.

However, the most disturbing part of the election campaign has been the republican nominee. I cringe each time I read about his comments on women, minorities, the disabled, (basically everyone except the traditional white male). At times I think nobody can be like this – misogynistic, rash and irresponsible, and wonder if this is the persona he has adopted to win the elections, then I read another article about him, going back to before he was the nominee and decide I was wrong, maybe he is like that in real life too. Then I really shudder and think of the country and its future.

As a woman, as someone who passionately believes in the equality of the sexes and as someone who believes in equal rights for everyone, I really hope this person does not win. If he does, women’s lib and emancipation will probably retrograde back to 1776 when America became free of the British and the words “Freedom”, “Liberty” and “Equality” are just words in the constitution

The Paradox of our Time

I came across this beautiful speech/poem by His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama and it resonated with me.

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Here’s another, similar speech by Dr. Bob Moorehead, which is worth a read!

“The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more but learn less. We plan more but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you and a time when you can choose either to share this insight or to just hit delete…

Remember, to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.

Remember, to say, “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person might not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.”

Today, most people live in bigger homes (per person per square feet), but who is there at home? Most families are nuclear in nature and even with just three or four people at home, the house is just that – rarely a home as with people’s schedules, there are just a handful of times when everyone is at home together. We don’t make time for the extended family, even during festivities and occasions.

With more disposable incomes, especially in countries like Singapore, the tendency to buy for the sake of buying something is very common. Hashtags like #buybuy are very common on social media platforms and the flaunting of new possessions seems to be a case of ‘keeping up with the Joneses and doing it one step more’! This in contrast, to some people who seem to adopt a minimalist attitude. I would like to go this route and so for the time being, I am stopping all non-essential purchases, preferring to buy from my closet and stash. I will only buy when I am completely out of the product.

We’re more connected than ever in the history of the world, but ironically we’re more alone than ever. As of June 2016, there are more than 1 billion Whatsapp groups in the world and more than 64 billion messages were sent using Whatsapp in one day at its peak! The normal Whatsapp traffic is approximately 42 billion messages per day, though I am not sure if this includes the voice and video messages. But how many of us actually take the time to speak to a loved one on a regular basis? It’s so much easier being in touch through a keyboard, though how much time does it take to take the same phone and dial a number. Even if you do not or cannot use international dialing, all you need to do is install one of the free apps like Skype or Viber and speak to your loved ones!

 

I am going to make a call to speak to my loved ones just as soon as I finish this post, will you?

 

Writing

if-word-clipart-1024x627One of the things I want to try my hand in during the next month or so is to start writing seriously. I’ve always loved writing and one of my favourite periods in school used to be the English composition period. In fact, I can remember myself in school, during the English exams, once we get the paper, the first thing I’d do is see the options for the composition section. Only after I made my choice, would I start to attempt the rest of the paper, wanting to savor the composition right at the end. All the while writing the paper, the composition would be writing itself in my head and I would pen it down once I’d done the other boring parts like grammar and the literature section.

In college, I wanted to do English Literature, but got suckered into doing Economics and Finance as I felt that’s where the nicer jobs were, but writing was something I did in secret. When Blogspot and later WordPress started, I was elated. This was a chance for me to start writing and this is where my blogging journey started. However, with the exception of last year, I’ve been more of an indifferent blogger, preferring to remain anonymous. I still prefer to blog anonymously, but my writing has started to get better in the last eighteen months or so of blogging regularly (or so I’d like to think)….

writing-a-book-two-people-clipart-1Like my reading, my writing is all over the place, but if I have a soft spot, then it will be for children’s books. I know that there are not many famous children’s book authors, but I love penning down small and sweet stories for the young. If the story has a kernel of something they learn in the process, that’s icing on the cake, as far as I am concerned. I have some stories written in this blog about a couple of monkeys called Chica and Chiki, modeled, as you’d probably have guessed correctly, on GG and BB!

I’d love to write more stories on my monkey twins and maybe some others. I know I have to do some research on how a children’s book is written and will do so. One part of this research will be to read more children’s books, but I am also planning to search for books on this subject as well as perhaps on creative writing? I am also looking for some courses in creative and writing, need to check the local universities, but I am not too optimistic about this. I will go online and maybe Coursera may have something for me.

I’ll definitely update once I start writing and who knows you people will be subjected to my stories here. When I do, please be honest in your reviews and critiques…..

Chica and Chiki are Brave

Chica and Chiki woke up with a sense of anticipation. They, along with their friends from the Jungle school were going to be going on a picnic to the new waterpark which had recently opened. They had never been there and so were very excited to go there with their friends and play.

Both quickly woke up and got ready for school, much to the astonishment of their mama, who normally had to prod them to get ready. They quickly got the essentials ready – swimming costumes, towels, soap to clean up later, clean clothes, some food and water and went outside to wait for the bus to pick them up. The bus came with scores of happy children and kissing their mama good-bye Chica and Chiki got in to have the best day of their lives.

They reached the water park and teachers grouped them so that everyone could play in the various areas of the park without creating havoc and so everyone got a chance to play in each of the rides. Chica was initially upset that she was not with her best friend Rumi, but she quickly got over her snit and started enjoying herself.

Lunch time came and the teachers herded the children to have lunch. They also strictly told the children to have a nap after lunch as it was not good to play in the water immediately after eating. The children all obediently closed their eyes and went to sleep. Chiki was not sleepy and so started to slowly open his eyes to see what was happening around him. He found Chica also doing the same thing and both looked at each other started laughing, silently because they didn’t want to wake up the other children and get in trouble with the teachers.

Suddenly both of them heard faint shrieks. It looked like it was coming from the giant water slide. They looked at each other, unsure of what to do. The teachers were still asleep and so Chiki and Chica decided to investigate. They quickly ran towards where the noise was coming from and found Rumi struggling in the water. There were no life guards around as everyone was resting after lunch. Chica tried to enter the water to help her friend, but the water was too deep for her. She quickly made a decision, “Chiki, quickly run and get help and I will wait here with Rumi”. Rumi was scared and crying and her stomach was also paining from drinking all the water.

Chika ran as fast as his little legs would carry him and went back to where the teachers and other children were resting. He ran to his favourite teacher, Mrs. Cat and shook her awake and cried, “Mrs. Cat, please come quickly….Rumi is in the water at the giant slide and her stomach is paining” Mrs. Cat was initially disconcerted and woke up with a start. She started scolding Chiki for being awake when all the other children were sleeping. But then the importance of his words penetrated and she soon woke up the other teachers. Two of the teachers ran to get help and Mrs. Cat and Mr. Hare ran with Chiki to the giant slide.

At the slide, Chica was frantic, Rumi’s cries were becoming fainter and she could see that something was wrong, but she didn’t know what to do. She thought hard, probably the hardest she had ever done, harder than when she thought for exams and suddenly had a brainwave. She tried to grab some of the umbrellas which were strewn outside the slide to help shield people from the harsh sun and tried to throw them to Rumi. “Rumi” she shouted, “Open the umbrella and try to use it as a boat”. Rumi was tired but tried her best to grab atleast one of the umbrellas. She tried hard and just when she wanted to give up, she finally caught one and opened it upside down. She hopped on and soon was floating on it.

By this time, the teachers, with Chiki in their wake, along with lifeguards were at the slide and the lifeguards swam to Rumi and brought her safely to ground. On the ground, Rumi put her down in shame as the teachers started scolding her. With tears streaming down her eyes, she apologized to them, “I am so sorry” she said “I know I was told not to get in the water immediately after eating, but I so wanted to play in the giant slide” She looked at Chica and Chiki and continued “Thank you Chica and Chiki for helping me”.
The teachers also praised Chiki and Chica for helping out Rumi, but they also got scolded for not resting when told to. However, since their misdemeanor meant that they could save their friends’ life, they did not get scolded much.

On the way home, all the children were tired and quiet. Mrs. Cat took the opportunity to teach some life lessons to them and said, “Children today was an important day and we all learnt something. Can anyone tell me what it was”. For a few minutes there was complete silence and then a small voice piped out, “We should listen when our elders tell us something”. “Correct, replied Mrs. Cat. Older people know what they talking about, so when they tell you to do or not to do something like today, they say it from experience. What else?” Noone spoke up, so she continued, “Chica and Chiki also showed bravery when they tried to save Rumi and got help, so if you find yourselves in a situation you can’t handle, get a responsible adult to help you”. All the children nodded their heads as they started to leave the bus, happy with a day well spent!

Writer’s Block

Some days writing is sheer bliss – words just flow from the keyboard and the final output is something I don’t really have to tinker much with.

Some days, it is the reverse – try as I may, the right words do not come by and I struggle to write even a single coherent sentence….This is after I have a bunch of ideas to be used as posts ☺️

  

So what does a writer do in this case – why write up a post on Writer’s Block of course!

Some people who have researched this phenomena say that there is no such thing as Writer’s Block – you just need to write, even if it is drivel and from that something good will come up, something you can publish without feeling mortified!

One thing to do to overcome Writer’s Block is to carry a small notebook with you at all times to jot down when the spark of an idea comes by.

 

I do something like that, only electronically. Since most of us have smart phones, I have Google Docs in my phone which is also synced to my desktop. I have a file there where I type out blog ideas, start blog posts etc and when inspiration strikes, irrespective of where I am, I whip out my phone, power the app and note it down. As simple as that!

Experts also say clearing your mind of cobwebs and doing something physical also gets those creative juices flowing. I don’t know about doing something physical, but my creativity is best when I am about to fall asleep or in the shower – two places where I am unable to type it immediately.