Tag Archives: Children

Childhood Reminiscences

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Growing up we didn’t have access to the entertainment options that are available now. Television was mostly the single state run channel, Doordarshan where the weekly Chhayageet or Chitrahaar (a 30 minute back-to-back Bollywood m.usic show) or later on Yeh Jo Hai Zindagi (This is Life), a brilliant show helmed by Kundan Shah.

This meant that most of our time was spent playing outdoors. We used to have a big group of friends and in the holidays (summer and winter) all those who didn’t go for a holiday (holidays in those days meant going to your native place aka, your ancestral place to meet your grand parents), we’d have a schedule which went something like this:

Wake up by 7 and meet down at the building compound to play, run etc.By 9, the mums would have done their chores and would start hollering for the kids to get back home to bathe, breakfast etc. Then it would be in someone’s house to play indoor games till the call for lunch came. After lunch again we would meet either in someone else’s house or at the landing outside my house which was on the top floor (less chance of people disturbing us, you see). There we’d gossip, play games like word games, card games, traditional Indian indoor games like cowri etc and then in the evening after a snack we’d be back down playing hide-and-seek, running etc till we were tired and our dads came home from work. Evenings would be spent watching DD and bedtime would be quite early.

Life was fairly uncomplicated then and the biggest worry at the age of 12 for me was if my decided to fight with me or not play with me on a particular day…

I really miss those days and the friendships we had. The life got in the way and we became busy and as friends grew up and started high school, slowly all this petered away…

Today, when I look at GG & BB, they are so bogged down with work – playtime is an indulgence for them. I am happy that most days, given a chance, they would go down to play, but these days are becoming rare and I guess by next year, they’d probably disappear.

Parenting Tweens: Stresses and Fears

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GG & BB turn twelve this year and they have already started behaving like teens. They are growing so fast, both physically and mentally, it’s a challenge to keep up with them. BB has reached approximately 1.7 meters and GG is around 1.6 meters in height, GG wears a shoe size slightly smaller than me and BB has surpassed my shoe size! They have started looking more adult than children, where did my babies go?

With social media at their fingertips and knowledge a Google or Wikipedia page away, the breath of things these tweens know is precocious! They know far too much about things that they probably should not know, yet in the next breath, they are innocent babies! What contradictions they are….

This year, along with becoming twelve, they are having the most stressful year of their life till date. Nothing they have done till now has prepared them for the stress that is the Primary School Leaving Exam (PSLE)

One thing as parent I do know is that while they are not to be treated as babies, but as someone with a brain, at the end of the day, we are still their parents and know more about life and them than they do and the decisions we make with them for their future has been well thought out and is for their benefit. They are after-all still children and not yet grown-up adults. This is perhaps the Indian parent in me who comes to the fore in times like this, but I think I would know my child best.

This time of transition – from coddled and pampered children to young adults who need to start taking some responsibility for their lives – is a magical time for both children and parents, but only if we parent them right! As parents we can make our homes a safe haven for them as well as encourage them to speak to us about anything they want to without judging them. Listen to them, then give your two cents worth. If you have a good relationship with your children, I am sure they will listen to you and take heed of what you have to say.

Another thing I am very worried about is the dangers around us, especially that of sexual predators. This is especially since from next year, depending the school they go to, GG & BB will have to use public transport and travel a bit to get to school. I have started talking to them about people who like to prey on young children, but I am not sure if they have understood all the implications yet.

Speaking of which, this is also the age when children start getting curious about the opposite sex and may want to experiment. GG is a typical girl and a typical tween/teen, in that she’s in the extremely giggly stage and wants to watch and read about romance. I’ve told both of them that if they want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, they should wait till they get to university when they can think this through, but I doubt, if the time comes, they will listen to me. Hormones will probably rule them at that time and all my advice will fly through the window! Hopefully, at that point, we will have a relationship where they still confide in me, we can always hope! BB at this point, is anti-girls, which should change anytime soon when his hormones kick in, though I’ll be happy for the hormones to wait another six months so we get through PSLE with minimum of fuss, I have my hands full with GG as it is, two full blown teens in the house is too much for anyone I’d guess!

Another thing that is often gets pushed down in the scale of priorities is adequate rest. For children between 7- 12 years, they need between 10-11 hours of sleep daily while for those between 12 to 18, this reduces to 8 – 9 hours per day. I’d say for someone in BB & GG’s age, they’d probably need around 9 – 10 hours of sleep daily. Sleep helps them battle stress in school as well as allow their growing bodies to get the growth it needs during sleep.

I now need to walk the talk as we countdown to the PSLE. As of today there are 58 days to the Oral Exams and 14 weeks to the written exams – panic mode on!!

School year (or “The Madness” as I’d like to call it) begins

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School started yesterday and BB & GG enter a new phase – they will give their Primary School Leaving Exam (PSLE) at the end of this year and leave the safe, secure and, perhaps a little too comfy world of Primary School and enter the independent world of Secondary school. This, along with grappling with the trials and tribulations of being a teen!

My posts this year may be a bit too much about the PSLE, but since it’s such a major exam in Singapore, and with two of them taking it together, it’s quite understandable, me thinks!

Also, this is probably the last year, the two of them will be together in the same school. Who knows what the next year will bring, although I am praying with all that I have that they get admissions into the schools of their choice (should I actually reveal it here or is that tempting fate?)

While dropping off GG & BB at their school yesterday morning, I saw all the fresh faced Primary 1 children and their parents, all crowded around the children in the school foyer and this took me back six back when me and S were one of those parents. We huddled around our children and followed them to their classes. Parents are not allowed inside the classroom and we were all outside, our eyes searching for offspring and clicking away to glory! After a few minutes, they ask you to go down and wait in the canteen so that teachers can bring the class to order and also get to know the children. We waited till recess and then again a mad rush to see our children. Most of the children buy food, but we’ve always sent BB & GG with home-cooked food to school, be it recess or lunch! Then another wait till school dismissal. I think I went home and came back at dismissal.

Their school also has a tradition of giving every incoming Primary 1 child a medal on the third day of school (the last day of the orientation and before the teachers start  the real teaching) and parents and their seniors (aka Primary 2) are invited for the ceremony. The Principal usually gives a nice speech about the school, it’s values and how they hope the children imbibe these values and make the school proud of them….

Now it’s my children’s turn to do well in their PSLE and make their school proud of them….

Speaking of which, BB is getting an Edusave Merit Award this Sunday for doing well in school – he came in the top three in his class for Maths, Science and English and if not for his pathetic marks in Hindi, will be in the top class! GG is jealous as she got this award last year, along with BB, but P5 proved too much for her. I’ve consoled her that if she gets the marks and the T-score she is aiming for in the PSLE, she will definitely get the award next year.

School Holidays

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It’s been a week since BB & GG’s mid-year school holidays have started. However, vaccations are not a whole lot different than regular school days for them. Since they didn’t do well (read very badly) in Hindi, I sit with them daily for an hour daily. This is in addition to my mother-in-law and her sister doing school subjects like maths and science with them. S usually drives them to their home which is a 10 minute drive in the morning when he leaves for work. Then once I am done with my chores in the morning, I walk down to pick them up. We’re planning a short trip later in June to a neighbouring country, that’s their only ‘holiday’!

Thinking of school holidays brings to mind the days we used to spend during our school holidays. Then, holidays literally meant that – freedom from school, from studies and the regular routines. The entire duration would be only for mauj and masti (enjoyment and fun).  We would play the whole day, with morning devoted to badminton and the hot afternoons to playing indoors or just gossiping, coming home just to eat and sometimes not even for that, preferring to eat at whichever friend’s home we were at that point. Then only after the evening games were done, would we really go home.

But children these days have so much expectations riding on them that holidays is really a myth. I see almost all the schools near my home having some activity or the other for the children, most of the activities seem to be in the morning, for around 4 hours.

Guess, I should not complain too much, cést la vie after all!

 

SA1 and PSLE

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The first semester exams have just ended and the results are in. BB & GG have fallen a full band down in raw scores. I asked around and was told this happens. Apparently Primary 1 & 2 are supposed to be the easy years and then Primary 3 takes that up a big notch! But the results have resulted in both BB & GG (and a very angry mama) being very disappointed with their marks. So we’ve decided to come up with strategies to make sure this does not happen for the next exam. Even though their school is not one of the branded schools, but just a neighbourhood school which is not a neighbourhood school, the papers were set at a level just slightly above what was taught in school. In BB’s class, apparently 40% of the class failed in the Maths paper! But the school also has alternative assessment so those marks may increase scores for the children and that 40% may drop.

The past few days I have been reading about about what is possibly the most dreaded exams every Singaporean child will undergo – the PSLE (Primary School Leaving Exam). Children here take it at the end of their primary school education when they are about 12 years old and in Primary 6. Although BB & GG have another 3.5 years before they sit for the PSLE, what I read has made me really scared. This exam pretty much determines your future and to get admission in a good secondary school means you need a very good/decent score. Also the exams are apparently set at about a year to two years more advanced than what the children are taught in school and all this higher order thinking skills means that they need to start now! So operation PSLE will start from the school holidays this year. I need to get BB & GG to start reading books meant for teens now so that they will be reading adult literature when they reach P5/P6. This will help them in English. Now to source for resources for Maths, Science and Hindi.