Tag Archives: Children

2016 Sec 1 Week 3 Update

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School has started in earnest now. The children have exercised their Co-Curricular Activity options. BB’s school had three choices and so he chose the Youth Flying Club (one of the main reasons he chose this school), Robotics Club and NCC (Air) as his three choices. He had to go for an interview cum audition for the Flying Club which was run by the seniors. According to BB, there were almost 80-100 students, mostly boys who came for the audition. Hopefully on Monday when the CCA postings are done, he will have gotten the Flying Club as his CCA.

GG’s school had trials and selections for the sec 1 children so that they could have an idea on what the CCA entailed before they exercised their selection. They had to choose 6. She went for Choir trials/auditions this week and as I expected she was selected for it. The choir conductor apparently said she has a nice voice and coupled with her choir experience in Primary school, this was a done deal! She retains her Soprano 1 position, which is the highest singing voice. During this audition, the conductor also called for people to audition to sing solo during the school’s Chinese New Year celebrations and GG was selected for that too! We also received this week a letter from BB’s school, signed by the principal, inviting selected students to be part of their Broadcasting Club. From the letter, it seems that they have selected some students based on their English and overall PSLE results. The club sounds very interesting and will teach students scriptwriting, interviewing techniques as well as pronunciation. Their duties will include hosting duties during school events and also some daily PA system broadcast duties. I think this will be a 1-2 year programme and hopefully this does not clash with his CCA.

 BB will be carrying a full load this year. We also heard news that he has to compulsorily take part in his school’s Maths Olympiad team. Apparently all A* students have no choice in the matter, so that’s one more day that he has to stay back for practice….

 The first full week of school also meant that studies have started and both are starting to see the pressure that is secondary school. We cannot take this year off as the number of subjects increase from four to eight or nine! This on top of CCAs which can up quite a bit of time! CCAs are important in secondary school as you get some points depending on your involvement in it and leadership positions which you can use to shave off points from your O level results. The end of next year (secondary 2) is also streaming year, when students have to choose their subject combinations for their O levels. This pretty much determines what you will do in life as wrong subject choices will impact junior college and/or Polytechnic course applications. Doing well in secondary 1 and 2 will allow you a much broader base from which to choose subjects.

Teenagers and Smartphones

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Last weekend, in preparation for the new school year, we finally caved in and brought GG & BB smartphones – second-hand iPhone 5S’ to be precise. While they’ve been using a phone to communicate to whoever is at home while coming back from school, the phone they’ve been using using in Primary school was an old-school Nokia one as I felt they only needed a phone to communicate with us at home while walking home alone from school and this phone was more than adequate.

However, the parenting forums and facebook groups that I frequented all said that in secondary schools, a smartphone was more of a necessity that a luxury as whatsapp will be the main mode of communication. So after checking out the prices (ouch!), we decided to get iPhones for both of them so we’re all on the same iOS!

The children of today are digital natives – they can’t remember a time when they’ve not been surrounded by technology. They take to technology as if they are born to it and so can’t really understand us parents when we question them on the need for a smartphone while still young. I remember an incident when GG & BB were younger – they were in Primary 3 (around 9 years old) and I was chaperoning GG’s class on a learning journey. I was surprised to see at least half the class with smartphones with them, and of the half around a quarter had the latest version of the smartphone (mostly iPhone or Samsung). Some were carrying versions which were more advanced than me!

There are many pros and cons to giving your teen a smartphone (latest or otherwise). Some of these are:

Pros

Emergencies: Most teens, especially in a country like Singapore travel far from home for school once they hit secondary school. A smartphone (or any phone for that matter) becomes a tool for them to get in touch with an adult in their lives in cases where they get into situations they are not capable of handling. The phone also becomes useful in case they need to contact law enforcement in case of sticky situations with the phone’s geo positioning helping to pinpoint their location.

Tracking: A smartphone helps in parents track where their teen is after school. In our case, I launched the ‘Find Friends’ option on their phones and use it to track them when they get home from school. This is especially useful since they are travelling home alone for the first time in their lives. On their first day of school, I started tracking GG when she called me to let me know she’s left school and realized she was taking the wrong route home and immediately called her to check her location. I was able to track her all the way home and it was only then I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. This is so useful for working parents who do not have the luxury to being at home to make sure their child comes home on time. A parent can also check if their teen is spending time in malls (as seems to be the case of many Singaporean teens) instead of heading home straight from school. This would also be a boon when a parent travels for work and can track their teen even when not in the same country. Imagine the sense of relief the parent feels (I know what that feels like)

Responsibility: Having an expensive phone in their hands teaches teens responsibility. They have to take care of their phone and losing one will not make their parents buy another one as easily. So they start to learn to be responsible. Conversely, they learn about consequences also as when they lose their smartphone, most parents will not replace it and they will have to learn to live without things they are not careful about.

Learn about the world at your fingertip: Having a smartphone is quite useful for a teen, especially if they are students. The whole world is literally at their fingertips! When they have downtimes, your teen can browse the internet and learn so much. Youtube videos teach new skills, TED vidoes are awesome and I can go on and on…conversely, there’s so much smut online that the teen can get sucked into that too…

Cons:

Excessive usage of social media and games: I think all of us are guilty of this – we play games on our smartphones, but teens are especially susceptible to this. Most teens play games that are seen as ‘cool’ and ‘on-trend’ to the extent of not doing anything else the whole day when they are online. They are also very into social media and having x number of friends and followers is of paramount importance to them. Gaining or losing followers could mean the difference in having a moody and sullen teen or a happy one in the family. With a laptop/desktop, this is something that parents can control to an extent, but with social media and games on a smartphone, control is almost non-existent!

Huge Bills especially data: If you give your teen a SIM card with data and they are allowed to use it without any checks, then be prepared for huge phone bills at the end of the month as a couple of hours on Youtube or some of the more data-heavy games can easily use up a month’s data.

Limited attention span: Most teens already have a limited attention span and smartphones feed into this. Instead of getting articulated answers to questions, you will get single syllable answers or worse, grunts instead of words!

Cyber bullying, inappropriate content and predators: Enough said! Giving a smartphone to a teen is giving them a loaded gun! They love to see their face and name online and so it becomes a matter of time when someone posts inappropriate content and this in turn makes them vulnerable to online predators as well as cyberbullying. They need to be taught online posting ettiqutte before handing them a smartphone.

Health Risks: Listening to loud music which will result in long-term damage to their growing earbuds, weight gain due to the sedentary nature of this device as well as the potential radiation effects are all well documented. I’ve also learnt that playing violent games tends to change their personalities. BB has been playing a multi-player game which is more violent than I’d like and I can start to see his personality change – from being a soft-spoken boy, he has started to disobey us and also raise his voice and fight/argue which he almost never did. I am still not sure if this is due to his gaming habit or he is testing boundaries as he goes through puberty.

Managing smartphones

You can give your teen a smartphone and still, to an extent, control their usage. Here are some which we are doing with BB & GG

Smartphone curfew: Every night, before they go to bed or 9 pm (whichever comes earlier), they gave to switch off their phones and hand it over to me to be charged. The phone will remain switched off the whole night and they can switch it on in the morning after they are completely ready for school to check any messages that may have come overnight before switching it off once again. The phones are to be kept off when they are in school as both their schools are very strict about usage within school premises. Disobeying the rules will mean their phone will be taken away by the school and the offender will get detention.

Passwords: I have passwords for both their phones. Even better, since they have the finger scanning password, my thumbprint is scanned into both their phones and even if passwords are changed, I can access phones. Actually passwords can’t be changed without letting me know the new password. If this happens, phone privileges will be revoked.

Social Media: Since BB & GG are not yet 13, they do not have access to social media yet, but when they do, they have to add us as friends and we will vet their social media presence till the time they are mature enough to do it themselves.

Location Tracking: I’ve turned this on for both of them, but this only works when cellular data is switched on, which is normally switched off. I need to figure out a way out of this,

These are some of our smartphone rules at home. We’re also learning as we parent teens. If you have any other ideas on how to manage smartphone usage with teens, I’d love to hear them.

PSLE Reflections

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I’ve been mulling about this post for a while now, contemplating whether or not to write what was in my mind. I’m not sure if I have any readers from Singapore and so whether this post will be of use to anyone. But then I decided to pen it down after all, who knows who will gain from this. Also this may make me self-reflect as GG & BB go through Secondary school.

For anyone who wants their child to shine in the PSLE exam, the first thing, I would suggest is know what kind of a learner he/she is. You should know their learning style by the time they get to Primary 3 and then from then on, you need to cater to them using their learning style. Also another thing every parent should know that hot-housing a child to do well in national exams so that they get into a reputed secondary school is good and well if the child continues to excel. I feel that if you place a child in a secondary school which is far too advanced for them, then they will be running just to keep up and at some point they may get frustrated by how they are in comparison to their peers and just give up. Last, please take into account your child’s interests when choosing a secondary school. If you child is passionate about music, but the school you have chosen does not have a decent music programme, the child will not be happy there.

As a parent, you should start in earnest for the PSLE exams when your child enters Primary 4. At this point, as a parent who knows their child best, you should be aware of his/her potential, interests and passions. Also this is the point when you should build strong foundations in all the four subjects. Primary 4 is slightly more difficult than Primary 3, but is much less stressful than Primary 5 when the jump is much higher. So use the time in Primary 4 to thoroughly drill the child in the basics in all the four subjects.

For the languages, get them to read regularly. Most schools have a silent reading programme daily for both English and Mother Tongue, but please take them to the library regularly and supplement this programme with good books. I would also advise to parents to be the final arbitrator of the books their children read, and get them to read different genres, so they are exposed to different writing styles. This will improve vocabulary immensely and will help them with composition and comprehension writing as well as for the oral exams at the PSLE exams. If possible, try and get the child to read a one or two levels beyond where he is so that he is exposed to a higher standard of vocabulary early on.

For maths, make sure they have their foundation clear and understand concepts well. Expose them to the different types of questions they will have to answer and also get them to do timed question papers as this is something I see children having difficulty in – in completing their paper. Also questions about real life estimations may help – remember the infamous $1 coin question in this year’s Maths paper?

For science, I notice that there is a slight but sure shift to application based questions. So when learning science, try to get the child the real-life application for that concept. In Singapore, the science text books only teach a fraction of what they are expected to know and buying science guides is inevitable. It may help to start doing this earlier, even in Primary 3 as that is when they start science.  

Direct School Admission

I wish I’d known what I am writing now earlier, it would have saved us so much heartache and who knows; maybe GG & BB would have gotten into their dream schools under this scheme. I realise many people, especially parents who are first time PSLE parents do not really know about this. The DSA scheme was started in 2004 for Primary 6 or Secondary 4 students to be guaranteed a place in Secondary school or Junior College. This is so that students who are particularly good in a subject or have niche talent can get into a school/junior college which wants them before they sit for their exams.

If you have identified a school/niche area where you want to apply for DSA for your child, the right time to start the process is in Primary 4. Every school offering DSA will have an Open House sometime in May and it may be a good idea to go to the school and see it. You will get the general idea of what the school will offer your child and you then have a good feel of whether this is the best choice for your child. Once you’ve zoomed into your choice schools, you need to start researching what they are looking for in a successful DSA applicant. Some schools have multiple entrance tests, while others give more importance to the school marks from P4 onwards. So it is important to make sure your child does well from Primary 4 onwards, especially in the subject that they will be applying DSA in. If you are applying in sports and/or aesthetics categories, you will need to go for trials and auditions, so it’s a good idea to start preparing from this point on. Of course, all this preparations does not guarantee a spot as the number of places varies by year (exceptions are NUS High, SST and SOTA who take almost 100% through DSA), but this preparation gives you an added edge over the others who only start in Primary 6.

Please join online forums like kiasuparents and facebook groups which really help. There are so many parents out there who know so much and are willing to share information which really helps.

Hope this post will be useful to people. I’m no expert by any stretch of imagination, and all this has been gleaned through personal experiences and online forums. If you have any questions, please leave it as a comment below and I’ll try and answer it to the best of my ability.

Happy Birthday to you….

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GG & BB turn 12 today. Happy Birthday my darlings! May you be always happy….

This year’s birthday is a very low-key one, what with the PSLE looming over us. We’ll probably do a nice celebration after the exams.

I still remember the day they were born. They were born at 36 weeks and 3 days, which is considered full term for twins, but were still a month away from their Expected Due Date. I was very reluctant to have the c-section my gynae had recommended and wanted to wait till they were ready to be born. But, my gynae was a bit concerned for GG as he felt she was smaller and hence may not be able to survive the trauma of birth. When put this way, how could I refuse, right?

I was also told that babies who are below 2 kg will be kept in the NICU and there was a possibility that GG or even BB may not weigh as much as we thought, so the first thing I asked around when I opened my eyes after surgery was how much the babies weighed and I was so elated when I heard both were healthy and above the 2 kg NICU limit. Due to their early birth, both had to spend time under the photo lights for jaundice, GG more than BB and so they got discharged a day later than me. I was able to go home before them, but I refused saying I will go home with my babies.

They’ve both grown into amazing almost teens, articulate and determined. GG, who is older than BB by 2 minutes is a determined and gutsy girl who loves reading, music and drawing! I have a feeling she is developing into a fashionista, but we’re a way to go there. She has her faults, the major one being her temper and stubbonness, but she is also a very loving girl with a big heart and one who makes friends very easily. She is a very people person and can relate to most of them all the time. She doesn’t like Maths but loves languages and hasn’t yet decided what she wants to do in life. I’ve often told her she would make a good lawyer, but GG is still not convinced. She has a great, powerful voice, and is very good in singing, but likes to ruin her voice by shouting at her brother.


BB on the other hand, is more of an introvert, who is most content using his electronic toys (laptops, tablets etc) playing his games. He has steadily been in love with planes since he was 2 and shows no signs of abandoning this love. His major criteria for choosing a secondary school next year is if they offer the Singapore Flying Club as a CCA. He wants to become a pilot, but is also majorly interested in Science, especially Physics. If he can do both – become an engineer and a Pilot, he will do it, until then he will I guess decide on his future somewhere between these two. He also reads, but not much of fiction. His preferred reading is books on science, which are mostly non-fiction. He loves reading books on planes and playing flight simulation games on his laptop. He is the more easygoing twin compared to GG, but he also has his times of stubbornness. His most hated subject is Hindi and when it’s time to study the subject, he comes up with so many inventive excuses why he should not study it. Other than this, he is quite good in studies, and if he overcomes his latent laziness, he can really be top in his class.

So a very happy birthday to both of you as you come to the end of your childhood and enter a new phase in life, both in terms of age as well as school. Be happy and always strive to do your best. Make us all proud of you! God bless you always….

These are a few of my Favourite Things

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As the song goes….Raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens…..from the Sound of Music, one of my favourite movies growing up. I must have seen the movie so many times that I think at one point, I could recite all the dialogues and songs, I loved it so much!

My favourite people in the world are my kids and S, followed by my parents. I think I can spend days with them, of course, sometimes each of them do things that infuriate me and irritate me, but I love them loads and can’t live without them. One of my secret worries in life is losing any of them – losing a child is a parent’s worst nightmare and I am also the same, but everytime S is late and I can’t reach him, I start imagining the worst. Another nightmare I am still not ready for is for my parents to leave me. I know, logically and practically, this will happen sometime, but I want this to happen later than sooner. I am still not ready to not have my parents at the other end of a phone call!

The next thing I can’t really live without are books, of course! I love reading and as it’s evident here and in my other blog, I need to read as much as I need to breathe. This has gotten me into lots of trouble in school (think reading in class, material that the rest of them had not yet graduated to). I was a very precocious reader, very often reading books 3-4 grades above. In the school library, I remember there was this cupboard which was mostly kept locked. I used to wonder what was in there that they didn’t want us to read and once somewhere in grade 7 or 8, I got the librarian to open it up as I had read all the books in the shelves meant for us. There I discovered adult books. I remember reading George Orwell’s 1984 around that age. It may not seem great these days for a 12/13 year old to reach such books, but in those days, given that there was no internet, India was still a socialist economy, people didn’t read for fun. I was that oddball who wanted to read, not because it was mandated by school, but because I just wanted to. We didn’t have access to many books beyond the school library and I remember I used to beg and borrow books, so much that I used to read older students school books (subjects like History, Geography and English) just so I had material to read!

I am so glad BB & GG, especially GG share my love for reading. GG is a lot like me in this respect, she will probably read a lot and widely as she grows up. BB is more a non-fiction boy – he prefers to read what his passions are – which is usually something to do with planes, cars and trains (in that order). I have to push him to read fiction.

Another favourite thing is music. Most days at work, I am plugged into earphones listening to music while working (I am listening to new age music as I type this). I usually listen to Indian music, mostly Bollywood music while at work, but I also like Fusion, New Age and Classical (both Indian and Western). I rarely, if never, listen to western rock and pop. I may change my mind sometime, if GG & BB start listening to such music at home, but as of now, it’s not something that still appeals to me.

Travelling to new places, soaking up on different cultures and learning new things are among the other things I adore. Since BB & GG’s birth, we haven’t done much travel, but the last year or so, we’ve made it a point to visit a new place each trip. Now that they move to secondary school and are teens/young adults, I envision more trips in the future. I plan to start taking them around the region and then the world’s our oyster. We do need to make periodic trips to India to keep in touch with our roots as well as visit the grandparents and other relatives (part of keeping in touch with your roots), but I want to add small side trips each time to a different part of India. India is so vast and beautiful, with so much to offer, that it’ll take a while before we discover the whole country. I have a big bucket list of places to see before I die and should start making a serious dent on that list.

So here you have – a list of some of my favourite things. I’ll leave you with the song which inspired this post, Maria’s favourite things from The Sound of Music