Tag Archives: Life Lessons

2017 Week 16 Update

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S is back in Singapore from a week-long trip to India. While he was away, it was just us and R at home. Mornings were quite easy as there was no lunch to be prepared, so life was quite easy!

There was some issues with their tickets as S’ aunt is handicapped and had booked preferred seats for them, but since she was also a wheelchair user, the airline arbitrarily cancelled her seat. Then there was a flurry of calls between me, the airline and S in India to sort out the issue. Long story short, they gave them the front row bassinet seats and refunded the preferred seat cost.

I saw a sea of difference between the way S behaved when he was not in town. I have traveled more for work compared to S, and I behave so differently! I don’t know if this is because I am a mum and he is not, but irrespective of the place I go to, irrespective of the time difference, I make it a point to speak to the children at least once a day, usually in the morning. Earlier it used to be in the morning because the children didn’t have a smartphone and S’s schedule meant I could not speak in the evening. I remember waking up at 3:30 am just to speak to them before they leave for school and waiting late at night to speak to them. S just messaged me a couple of times, but didn’t speak to BB & GG. Is this because guys and dads are just wired differently? S said his phone connection was not very good there, so I am going to give him the benefit of doubt here.

I am come very dangerously close to one year of unemployment. I really hope I don’t go too long before I get a new position. Keeping all fingers and toes crossed and hoping for the best!

Have a wonderful week folks!

 

Theory of Multiple Intelligence

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The other day, while randomly clicking links, I came across an article which spoke about intelligence not as a single entity as we know but splitting it into nine different types. The more I read, the more it made sense to me. We all may not be intelligent in the traditional sense, which when you are in school means scoring more marks, but you could be street smart or even people smart which may actually stand you in better stead than being just book smart!

The theory of multiple intelligence was first coined by Howard Gardner who proposed this model in his 1983 book Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences. According to Gardner, an intelligence must fulfil eight criteria: musical-rhythmic, visual-spatial, verbal-linguistic, logical-mathematical, bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and naturalistic.

 

Musical-rhythmic and harmonic or Sound Smart:
This area has to do with sensitivity to sounds, rhythms, tones, and music. People with a high musical intelligence normally have good pitch and may even have absolute pitch, and are able to sing, play musical instruments, and compose music. They have the sensitivity to rhythm, pitch, meter, tone, melody or timbre. Musical intelligence is the capacity to discern pitch, rhythm, timbre, and tone. This intelligence enables us to recognise, create, reproduce, and reflect on music, as demonstrated by composers, conductors, musicians, vocalist, and sensitive listeners. Interestingly, there is often an affective connection between music and the emotions; and mathematical and musical intelligence may share common thinking processes.

 

Visual-spatial or Picture Smart:
This area deals with spatial judgment and the ability to visualize with the mind’s eye. Spatial ability is one of the three factors beneath g in the hierarchical model of intelligence. Spatial intelligence is the ability to think in three dimensions. Core capacities include mental imagery, spatial reasoning, image manipulation, graphic and artistic skills, and an active imagination. Sailors, pilots, sculptors, painters, and architects all exhibit spatial intelligence.

Verbal-linguistic or Word Smart:
People with high verbal-linguistic intelligence display a facility with words and languages. They are typically good at reading, writing, telling stories and memorizing words along with dates. Linguistic intelligence is the ability to think in words and to use language to express and appreciate complex meanings. Linguistic intelligence allows us to understand the order and meaning of words and to apply meta-linguistic skills to reflect on our use of language. Linguistic intelligence is the most widely shared human competence and is evident in poets, novelists, journalists, and effective public speakers.

Logical-mathematical or Numbers or Reasoning Smart:
This area has to do with logic, abstractions, reasoning, numbers and critical thinking. This also has to do with having the capacity to understand the underlying principles of some kind of causal system. Logical reasoning is closely linked to fluid intelligence and to general intelligence. Logical-mathematical intelligence is the ability to calculate, quantify, consider propositions and hypotheses, and carry out complete mathematical operations. It enables us to perceive relationships and connections and to use abstract, symbolic thought; sequential reasoning skills; and inductive and deductive thinking patterns. Logical intelligence is usually well developed in mathematicians, scientists, and detectives.

Bodily-kinesthetic or Body Smart:
The core elements of the bodily-kinesthetic intelligence are control of one’s bodily motions and the capacity to handle objects skilfully.Gardner elaborates to say that this also includes a sense of timing, a clear sense of the goal of a physical action, along with the ability to train responses. People who have high bodily-kinesthetic intelligence should be generally good at physical activities such as sports, dance, acting, and making things. Bodily kinesthetic intelligence is the capacity to manipulate objects and use a variety of physical skills. This intelligence also involves a sense of timing and the perfection of skills through mind–body union. Athletes, dancers, surgeons, and crafts people exhibit well-developed bodily kinesthetic intelligence.

Interpersonal or Self Smart:
In theory, individuals who have high interpersonal intelligence are characterized by their sensitivity to others’ moods, feelings, temperaments, motivations, and their ability to cooperate in order to work as part of a group. Those with high interpersonal intelligence communicate effectively and empathize easily with others, and may be either leaders or followers. They often enjoy discussion and debate. Interpersonal intelligence is the ability to understand and interact effectively with others. It involves effective verbal and nonverbal communication, the ability to note distinctions among others, sensitivity to the moods and temperaments of others, and the ability to entertain multiple perspectives. Teachers, social workers, actors, and politicians all exhibit interpersonal intelligence.

Intrapersonal or People Smart:
This area has to do with introspective and self-reflective capacities. This refers to having a deep understanding of the self; what one’s strengths or weaknesses are, what makes one unique, being able to predict one’s own reactions or emotions. Intra-personal intelligence is the capacity to understand oneself and one’s thoughts and feelings, and to use such knowledge in planning and directioning one’s life. Intra-personal intelligence involves not only an appreciation of the self, but also of the human condition. It is evident in psychologist, spiritual leaders, and philosophers.

Naturalistic or Nature Smart:
Not part of Gardner’s original seven, naturalistic intelligence was proposed by him in 1995. This area has to do with nurturing and relating information to one’s natural surroundings.This sort of ecological receptiveness is deeply rooted in a “sensitive, ethical, and holistic understanding” of the world and its complexities – including the role of humanity within the greater ecosphere. Naturalist intelligence designates the human ability to discriminate among living things (plants, animals) as well as sensitivity to other features of the natural world (clouds, rock configurations). This ability was clearly of value in our evolutionary past as hunters, gatherers, and farmers; it continues to be central in such roles as botanist or chef. It is also speculated that much of our consumer society exploits the naturalist intelligences, which can be mobilized in the discrimination among cars, sneakers, kinds of makeup, and the like.

Existential or Life Smart:
Gardner did not want to commit to a spiritual intelligence, but suggested that an “existential” intelligence may be a useful construct, also proposed after the original 7 in his 1999 book. Sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence, such as the meaning of life, why we die, and how did we get here.

Gardner also opposed the idea of labeling learners to a specific intelligence and maintained that his theory of multiple intelligences should “empower learners”, not restrict them to one modality of learning. According to Gardner, an intelligence is “a biopsychological potential to process information that can be activated in a cultural setting to solve problems or create products that are of value in a culture.

Even after so many years of this theory being proposed, there is still controversy about it. I am not a psychologist, but this theory does make sense to me. I know that not everyone can be defined as ‘traditionally intelligent’ and this theory does put to rest why some people are widely successful in varied fields. Take music for example. Every years, hundreds of thousands of aspiring musicians audition for jobs and reality shows, but there are just a handful who are successful. That’s probably because they are blessed with musical intelligence, which a whole bunch of the others do not possess. This does make you think, right?

There are a couple of sites which allow you to take a test to determine which intelligence is your dominant one. I did one and no surprises there, at least for me – I got linguistic ability overwhelmingly which is right in my mind.

This is what the result said about me “Your dominant intelligence type is linguistic/verbal or in other words… you are word smart! You have an eloquent and sophisticated way of expressing yourself verbally as well as in writing.

You are passionate about literature, history and current events. You also have a knack for pursuing and learning new languages. You have a charismatic personality and because of you are talented in many areas of communicating, you also have strong interpersonal and intrapersonal skills. You are social, people smart and extremely self-aware.

If you want to do the same test, here’s the test link

Do you agree with Gardner’s theory of multiple intelligence? I’d love to hear what you got? Please do comment below….

2017 Week 13 Weekly Update

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Another week and nothing really happened!

I made a to-do list on Monday and went through most of it, though that too needs some work.

Other than that, the week was pretty much stagnant, with nothing happening on the job front. I spoke to two of the recruiters who had contacted me and they both had the same standard reply – they have not heard back from the companies yet. I’m going to give up on one and the other, the one where I had to go for an interview the same day that I applied for the position, I will write to the person who interviewed me (the person who owns the company) sometime this week and then forget about this position also if there is no movement. I just want closure!

So there you have – my week in short! Have a great week folks!

Parenting: Delayed Gratification

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January is drawing to a close and so I wanted to share some thoughts on one of my words for 2017 which is ‘Delayed Gratification’

 

Delayed Gratification refers to the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later and maybe bigger reward.

So why Delayed Gratification? I have read research that say those people who perform delayed gratification on a regular basis are, perceived to be more successful in all walks of life, including success in school and work, better physical and psychological health as well as socially more active.

 

Someone who is able to delay gratification also is able to be more patient, have better impulse and self-control and also be able to control their willpower, basically anything that requires self-regulation.

I also came across a series of research conducted by Stanford University in the 1960s by a psychologist and Stanford professor named Walter Mischel who conducted a series of studies on delayed gratification on children aged 4-6 years old. In these studies, a child was offered a choice between one small reward provided immediately, or two small rewards (i.e., a larger later reward) if they waited for a short period, approximately 15 minutes, during which the tester left the room and then returned. The reward was sometimes a marshmallow, but often a cookie or a pretzel. The children were followed up for years, some as long as 40 years, and in follow-up studies, the researchers found that children who were able to wait longer for the preferred rewards tended to have better life outcomes, as measured by SAT scores, educational attainment, body mass index (BMI), and other life measures.

 

What the research essentially confirmed was that the ability to delay gratification is more often than not the measure by which you become successful later in life.

Another study took the Stanford study a bit further and saw that the ability to delay gratification was not an innate ability, it was not something which was genetic. What it was instead, a result of life experiences. When children were promised rewards for completing something (delaying gratification), but not given the reward, they tended not to delay gratification as their experience told them it was better to take the smaller reward first instead of waiting for a bigger, but later reward. Those whose life experiences did otherwise were able to delay gratification and so became more successful later in life.

 

As a parent to teens, I believe that this age is the perfect age to teach them the techniques with which to learn to delay gratification so that it stands in good stead in life for them later. So how would you go about creating a plan or strategy to delay gratification?

 

Avoid Distractions
When we don’t see it, we don’t need it. In the Stanford experiment, when the children closed their eyes and were not able to see the cookie, they were able to delay gratification. Similarly, make your children keep away distractions when you want them to say study or do something else. So keeping their smartphones or laptops away from their room may help them focus better on their studies.

Know what you want
Teens are (hopefully) more mature than young children and talking to them about their life goals may give them something to work on. Once they know what they need to aim for, they may be able to make the right choices to reach those goals. In our home, this is a crucial year for BB & GG as it is streaming year for them. I keep emphasising the subjects they need to choose now so that they can take the subjects they need to major in when they reach university so that they can become what they want to do. As teens, they should have at least a vague idea of what they want to do when they grow up. If you child has that idea, use that to help them make goals and try to stick to it.

Talk out of Temptation
Teach your teen to talk themselves out of temptation. When faced with a temptation they know they should not give in to, let them engage in self-talk that they can use to distract themselves. For example, when they know they need to finish their homework before playing games, they can tell themselves “I need to finish xyz and then I am free to play”

Reward Periodically
Some goals are far away in nature (like career goals for a teen, for example) and so will take some time to reach them. In such cases, break down the goals into smaller, attainable goals and when each smaller goal is reached, reward your teen with something they have been waiting for – another delayed gratification!

It’s important that parents consistently apply these tips to allow your child/teen to become competent in being able to delay gratification. I read an article where a psychologist who studies self-control has compared it to a muscle. This means that it can strengthen with exercise.

By helping our children apply their best self-control strategies to delay gratification in everyday situations, we can help them to develop better self-control overall, which should help them become better individuals when they grow up in life.

2017 Week 3 Update

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A fairly boring week this was for me. Nothing much happened in my life.

I had a couple of interesting dreams this week, with a common theme of shoes in both. I wonder what that means. I searched online but could not really find what was the meaning of the dreams. All I hope is that it is positive.

I haven’t heard back from both the places I interviewed last week. I am going to borrow some words from Elsa and just “let it go”….If it’s meant to be, it will be….

Somehow this was all I did this week. Of course, I also worked on both my blogs, but nothing else…

Have good week folks! Hopefully, this week is better than the previous week….