What makes a Woman?

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Today, worldwide we celebrate International Women’s Day, but is it really necessary to just devote one day a year to half the world’s population?

Women today have reached the pinnacle of what they can do, with many women breaking records in achievements. At the same time, in many countries, including what is known as a first world country, women still don’t have rights over their own bodies!

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Growing up in a conservative, yet liberal household, I was always told that I can do what I want (within reason) and there was nothing that was beyond me. I remember when I first started college at the age of 16, I found out about the British Council library which was in the Central Business District in Mumbai and wanted to join it. My dad asked me to find out what was the membership fee and where it was. I did so and he handed me the money and told me how to get there and I was on my own. I went with an older friend who had also not gone there before, so we lost our way and had to ask around before we found the building and I became a member. I held that membership for almost 10 years, right after I started working and could not go to the library during work hours. I also became a member of the United States Information Service (USIS) after I started my undergraduate degree as it used to be free then for students. So every month while I was in college, I used to lug my 8 books (4 from each library) to college and after lessons ended around 11 am, I’d travel down to the libraries, before coming back home around 4 pm. My parents never held the view that since I was a young girl, I could not go to places which were far from home. I was probably the only person I knew back then who used to travel so far to get her book fix!

women-power_storyAt the same time, I always knew that I’d get married at some point and take my husband’s name. It was not done for ‘girls like us’ to show off our independence like that. But fast forward some years and I’ve done exactly what I’d never thought I’d do. I have kept my name – the first name and last name that was bestowed upon me at birth and will do so till the day I die. I’ve written about this in a post around 18 months back. As an aside, I also would like to see a world (if that’s even possible in my lifetime) where we do not take a family name which is most likely patriarchal in nature. Why do you need a last name in any case? If it’s that imperative to have one, why can’t it be that of your mother? After all, maternity can never be disputed, but paternity has to be proved, right?

1f8d4f2959f76c7420303d7a940b0b8eA woman today can have it all, and in many cases, is expected to have it all. She is judged constantly – whether she is a homemaker or a working mum and if she is not able to handle both to the satisfaction of the world, then she gets commented upon. Walking down a street in many countries for a woman means running a gamut of catcalls and comments, most, if not all, are sexual in nature. This is seen by the men in those countries as being complimentary to the woman, but for the said woman, it a creepy and extremely offensive.

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So what’s it like being a woman today? I honestly do not have an answer – my definition of being one means allowing no distinction between a man and a woman. I want to go back to the first sentence of this post – why now in 2017, do we even need a day in a year to celebrate womanhood? Shouldn’t every day be a celebration? We don’t celebrate International Men’s Day, do we, then why one for women? Women are more or less half the world’s population, so why this distinction? Why are women still perceived to be the weaker sex? I’d bet if any man had to undergo a natural delivery or even have periods every month for close to 50 odd years of his life, he’d acknowledge with loads of humility that women are indeed the stronger sex (not to mention, all the hidden pink taxes that women pay which would be a thing of the past).

Anyway, that’s all wishful thinking. I’d love to hear from my women readers – what you think makes a woman? How would you like womanhood to be celebrated?

2017 Week 9 Update

Another week and we’re already in March! Just where have the months flown by?

This was a usual sort of week for me, with nothing of note actually happening. The only thing I did was up the ante when it comes to exercising and walking. I am making it a point to walk at least 10,000 steps every day. This I do by walking on the treadmill in the mornings, then walking in the house for 5-10 minutes every 2-3 hours I sit and then another short walk in the neighbourhood in the evening. So far, it’s worked well and most days I exceed the 10,000 target steps. 

Hopefully this week is much better than the last week. Have a wonderful week folks!

2017 Week 8 Weekly Update

They say when it rains, it pours! As if the stress of looking for a job is not enough, I also have additional health issues to deal with. A couple of weeks back, I did an eye and foot check-up as part of a primary care package. When the reports came out, they want me to go for additional tests as the results from one eye is slightly out of whack for one disease. According to my doctor, it could be nothing, but it could also be something. I went to get a referral to the hospital’s ophthalmic department and it has been fixed for next month.

S’ mum also was sick this week, so since neither S nor his sister could manage to take her to the doctor, I did it. This meant I was out of the house almost all the days of the week, which also brought my daily steps up significantly. I still haven’t touched the 10,000 I planned for any day yet, but baby steps!

I took the children out yesterday since we’ve not been out in ages. The original plan was to see a Bollywood film, but the movie I wanted to see was rated NC16 here. This means that only those who are 16 and older can see the film and they check IDs before you enter the theatre. So that plan dropped and then we decided to go to a regional library since we hadn’t been to a library since November when our local library was closed for renovation and followed that up with a spot of shopping. Retail therapy is great – haven’t shopped in ages and it felt so good…

Have a great week people!

(Still) Blogging Anonymously

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I decided to go way back to my first posts and see how long I have been blogging. I realised I would have been blogging on WordPress for 7 years this year (my blog anniversary is sometime in August) and a couple of years before that on Blogspot. Wow! That’s a long time to be blogging, that too anonymously.

I revisited this topic again when sometime last week, I came across an opinion piece in an Indian newspaper by a famous author who was arguing about the privacy issues that a famous Bollywood couple are facing over their new baby’s photo. The baby’s photo was published across media when the doting father put it up as his Whatsapp profile picture (as most parents are wont to do so) and she argued that in this day and age of digital invasion, especially for a high-profile couple like these two, it was par on course, and not something they should take seriously. I am not going to link to the article, nor mention any names, though any Indian who reads this, may know who I am talking about. This article again raised the issue of being anonymous on social media.

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Today, with oversharing being the norm, being someone who hides behind an identity on social media, I am probably an anomaly rather than the norm. With the exception of Facebook and LinkedIn where I am present as myself, I blog under a pseudonym on all other media. I guess I am not 100% anonymous here – you guys do know that I live in Singapore and have two children who are twins and are around 13/14 years old and in secondary school. But I have still not shared more details about myself or a photograph of me and my family, which seems to be what most family and lifestyle bloggers (as I see myself) have on their About me page. Maybe someone who is diligent can find out who I am, but I’d like to think that I am not someone who is famous or infamous that people are really curious to know whom I am in real life.

I know it’s quite hard for me not to build traffic to this site because I can’t just link posts from here onto any of my other social media accounts, so conversely I am actually proud of each and every new subscriber as I know you’ve come here organically and because you like what I write. This is pure validation to someone who considers herself as a closet writer.

I also want to protect BB & GG from any adverse effects of my blogging. Technology is jumping by leaps and bounds and what is probably in the realm of science fiction today may be a something very normal 10 years down the line. I want them to start and live their lives on a clean slate and don’t want any embarrassing photos or blog posts to pop up when a future employer searches their name a few years down the line when they start work or even when they apply for admissions at their dream schools. After all, even today a sweep of your social media profile is done when you are looking at hiring new employees or even students and you don’t want something awkward coming up when your name is searched.

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So there you have why I chose to blog anonymously. I am still not sure if this was the right decision or not, but it’s something I chose to do and will continue to do so moving forward.

2017 Week 7 Update

Another week and time for another update. Nothing really happened this week except that I walked out of an interview. It’s the first time I did this. 

What happened was that I had applied to two positions in this organisation – one a fairly junior one and one a senior one (more suited to my experience). In the beginning of the week, someone called me asking me if I was still interested in the position and during the call, twice or thrice repeated the question. I found it a bit strange thinking that unless you were interested, you wouldn’t apply, right? Then I realised I had applied for two positions and when I read the job descriptions, I was sure I was being considered for the senior one as the junior one was really very junior. So I prepared for the senior position and went down for the interview. 

There, I found around 4-5 people already waiting and found it weird that they called so many people for an interview at the same time. That was red flag number 1. We were asked to go into a meeting room and there I found that with the exception of one other person, all the others were very young, maybe just out of school or perhaps trying for holiday jobs. That was red flag number 2. Then the HR person came and introduced himself and said it will be a group interview (red flag 3) and I was thrown back to my group discussion interviews after I had graduated, eons ago! Then he asked if anyone knew what the job entailed and mentioned a few things. At this point I knew I was wasting my time and decided to leave. I told the person that since I had applied for more than one position and since their email did did not specify the position, I came here thinking it was for the senior position. I then left there chalking this all up to another experience in the job search process. 

Actually I am this close to just giving up and becoming a SAHM. Interviewers and recruiters who speak to me say I have a very strong resume and experience, but I really don’t know why this is not translating into a decent job. Am I doing something wrong? Perhaps, I need to re-evaluate my search strategy. Lots to think this week.

Hope you all had a much better week than I had. May the coming week be better for all of us! Happy week….