Growing up in a tambram household in the seventies meant you woke to the sounds of MS Subbalakshmi singing the Venkatesha Suprabhartam and the smell of fresh filter coffee. I have always loved this ritual of coffee drinking and even today take my time to drink my first cup of coffee.
Filter coffee or kaapi as we southies call it, is the perfect cup of coffee. I rate it far above any coffee chain and with due apologies to coffee drinkers from popular coffee chains, I just don’t see the attraction for those, especially with the prices they charge. So what’s the difference between an espresso and filter coffee? I looked this up since I used to think an espresso is just the decoction of the filter coffee which is thinned slightly. An espresso, Italian for quick, is brewed with with high-temperature at almost boiling and has pressurised water running through finely ground coffee beans. It is also denser and more concentrated than filter coffee. The filter coffee is somewhat similar, it is made by filtering packed ground coffee through hot, boiling water through a filter, but instead of being pushed out by pressure, the water poured on the top half of the coffee filter runs down to the bottom purely on the basis of gravity. This means the brewing process takes much longer and is not really instant as the espresso is. It also means, you need much more water and coffee grounds to get the same amount of decoction for filter coffee.
I have never liked drinking milk and there are many stories in my home about how my paternal grandmother would force feed me milk, even as a toddler. Because of this intense distaste for milk, I must have made the switch to some sort of chocolate milk pretty early on. It was some protein powder in various flavours including chocolate that I drank for a few years. I switched to drinking coffee pretty early considering that most people I know didn’t start drinking tea or coffee until their teens.
My grandmother and then my mother used to buy raw coffee beans from the coffee board once every few months and then grind them till the house was full of this evocative aroma of coffee. Then using a small coffee blender they used to grind a small amount of the beans which would be just enough for a week or so. This ensured that the coffee we brewed was absolutely fresh. When I started college, it became my responsibility to get the raw coffee beans since there was a coffee board office not too far from my college. I still remember she would buy the Peaberry and Plantation beans. The Peaberry beans are also known as caracol, which is Spanish for snail, and is a naturally occurring mutation present in arabica and robusta coffee varieties where only one bean is present inside of the coffee cherry instead of two. The Plantation variety is probably a coffee plantation crop and I have no idea if it is a robusta or arabica.
A few years after I graduated and started working, the coffee board closed down its office from where we used to purchase our stock of raw coffee seeds and once my mother finished up her stash, she started buying blended coffee powder. Fortunately for us, we live very close to the heart of the tambram community, Matunga, where there is a store which sells freshly ground coffee powder, so that’s where she buys it from today. And when I make a trip to Mumbai, I never come back to Singapore without a few kilos of that freshly ground coffee powder in my luggage.
I have always been an early riser and used to wait for my mother to boil the milk and make coffee when I was young. Usually at that point, it would be just the two of us who were awake and in that dim lighting in the kitchen when the world is just waking up. Coupled that with a cup of hot steaming filter coffee in the traditional tumbler and dawara where the coffee is not stirred, but pulled is sheer bliss. When my mother makes coffee for BB, GG and S who usually drink in mugs, she will use a tumbler and dawara, which is a small cup which is used to pull the coffee and pull it to mix the milk, coffee and sugar together, with that lovely layer of froth on top and then pour it into a cup for them to drink. Even today my favourite time of the day is in the morning when I am the only one awake and it’s just me and a cup of coffee. Although now, I prefer my coffee to be black rather than with milk, it’s still a filter coffee which I brew every few days and refrigerate.
Another tradition in my home and I think most tambram households, is the ritual of a second cup of coffee after breakfast. Though I don’t follow it in Singapore, but when I am in Mumbai, that half glass of coffee after breakfast is something I really look forward to. And I drink my coffee with milk while in Mumbai because that to me is the taste of my childhood, adolescence and youth and it doesn’t matter how old I get, when I drink that cup, I am instantly transported back in memory.
I can drink lots of coffee, but a few years back, decided to restrict it to twice a day and only indulging in the third cup if I am super tired or outside with friends. I wrote an ode to coffee some time back, so pop by there to read if you are a fan of coffee. As with all my memory posts, writing this brought a smile on my face while I was transported back in time, a time when life was uncomplicated and simpler, when our needs were simple and a cup of good filter coffee was all it took to welcome someone to your home! What’s your favourite coffee memory?
Life is sometimes unfair, It seems like its all despair But then comes a time when things start to turn around And makes you think, that maybe things are not so bad
When it’s the darkest hour before dawn and life seems a curse When one is sure that things can’t be anymore worse Then there’s that little voice which comes deeo from the heart And says life is not impossible, everything is possible
If you have a dream, then go ahead to grab it Do all you can to make it come true Make sure every second of your life is of value A value you set and bid troubles adieu
Transform every weakness into a strength Gather together those who are in the same wavelength Pursue all opportunities and mitigate threats before they occur Plan a path to success, here’s your answer
Life is beautiful, see the beauty in everything Everything is possible, walk your steps with a spring Nothing is impossible as you can see Remember you are the creator of your destiny
A couple of weeks back, I was having a conversation with GG & BB about their future and what they want to achieve in life. The conversation then turned to leadership and we started talking about what makes a good leader.
A leader is defined as someone who who leads or commands a group, organisation, or country and leadership is seen as both a research and a practical skill encompassing the ability of an individual, group or organization to lead, influence or guide other individuals, teams, or entire organisations. Leadeship is the act of motivating other people toward a common goal. And good leaders are essential, to drive communities, organisations and countries and to make the large scale decisions to keep our worlds, be them big or small moving. People that have leadership skills showcase a strong personality and interpersonal skills to lead others in their direction.So what makes a good leader?
A successful leader is one who is the power and intellect behind their organisation. They are the visionaries charged with steering their brand around pitfalls and must know when to seize opportunities and how to rally those under them to work hard toward their common goals. An effective leader is one who transcends the leadership title they have and find ways to achieve the right combination of charisma, enthusiasm and self-assurance, probably with a healthy dose of luck and timing. Most of us think and feel that some people are just gifted with these skills, but the truth is most leadership traits can be learned and sharpened with time and practice.
Before we go into what are the traits of a good leader, what should a leader not do? Leaders should act a certain way and there are some negative qualities that leaders should never exhibit. Some of these include failure to set clear goals for their teams, insult or degrade people, give praise too easily, act inappropriately or exhibit behavior that one wouldn’t expect from others, not hold regular meetings with their subordinates, fail to take decisive actions and act tough or lack empathy.
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A good leader is one who has most, if not all of the following character traits:
Integrity: A good leader has integrity and the importance of this trait is obvious. Integrity is essential for an individual and an organisation and especially important for top-level executives who are charting an organisation’s course and making many significant decisions.
Delegation: A good leader is able to delegate. Delegating is one of the core responsibilities of a leader and the goal of delegating is not just free up time, but to enable direct reports, facilitate teamwork, provide autonomy, lead to better decision-making, and help direct reports grow. In order to delegate well, one needs to build trust with their team.
Communication: An effective leader is one who is able to communicate their ideas, be able to coach their people and since communication is a two way process, the leader is one who should be able to listen to and communicate with a wide range of people. Powerful leaders know when to talk and when to listen. They are effective communicators and are able to clearly and succinctly explain to those under them everything from goals to specific tasks. They will need to be able to communicate on all levels, be it one on one, or to many, as well as via phone, email and social media.C ommunication is built on a steady flow of verbal and nonverbal exchanges of ideas and information, so to be a good leader one needs to work on being approachable and involving people from different levels.
Gratitude: Being thankful can make one a better leader. Gratitude can lead to higher self-esteem, reduced depression and anxiety, and even better sleep. Few people regularly say thank you, even though most people say they’d be willing to work harder for an appreciative leader.
Learning Agility: This is the ability to know what to do when one don’t know what to do. If one is a quick study or is able to excel in unfamiliar circumstances, they might already be learning agile, but this is a learned skill and anybody can foster learning agility through practice, experience, and effort. Truly great leaders know that the strength of their leadership is built on their ability to adapt to suddenly changing circumstances and to know how and when to seize on opportunities amid a changing landscape. Having an insatiable curiosity will fuel the desire to constantly learn and grow. Learning agility hinges on developing critical thinking skills, being accepting of uncertainty, having social and emotional intelligence and always having the desire and determination to push forward.
Influence and Relationships: To some influence and influencers may have negative connotations, but the ability to convince people through logical, emotional, or cooperative appeals is a component of being an inspiring, effective leader. Influence is quite different from manipulation, and it needs to be done authentically and transparently and requires emotional intelligence and trust-building. A compelling leader does more than just inspire others to follow them; they know how to motivate the people under them to strive wholeheartedly for common goals. Subordinates who feel valued and appreciated, who feel like what they do makes a difference, will feel invigorated to push harder to achieve success. Outstanding leaders also understand that they need to be effective at networking, not just to advance their own careers, but for the benefit of what they are leading. By creating a vast and varied network of people, leaders establish impactful relationships with everyone.
Empathy: Correlated with job performance, empathy is a critical part of emotional intelligence and leadership effectiveness. If you show more empathy towards your direct reports, our research shows you’re more likely to be viewed as a better performer by your boss. Empathy can be learned, and in addition to making you more effective, it will also improve work for you and those around you.
Courage: This is self-explanatory because without courage, it can be hard to speak up at work, whether to voice a new idea, provide feedback, or flag concerns and this is a key skill for good leaders. Rather than avoiding problems or allowing conflicts to fester, courage enables leaders to step up and move things in the right direction and it has been proven that a psychologically safe workplace culture encourages speaking the truth.
Respect: Treating people with respect on a daily basis is one of the most important things a leader can do. It will ease tensions and conflict, create trust, and improve effectiveness. Respect is more than the absence of disrespect, and it can be shown in many different ways. Explore how you can cultivate a climate of respect at work.
Self-Managing: A good leader is someone who is able to manage himself well as it is hard to manage others effectively if they can’t manage themself. Self-managing means being able to prioritise their goals and being responsible for accomplishing those objectives. An effective leader is able to regulate their time, attention and emotions, while remaining aware of others’ strengths, weaknesses and potential sources of bias. They are adept at handling stress and balancing their personal and professional lives, maintaining self-control and discipline in their actions, without becoming overly reserved or inflexible.
Act Strategically: A forward-thinking, open-minded approach is necessary for today’s leaders. Leaders must always be prepared to adjust their strategies to capture emerging opportunities or tackle unexpected challenges. Thinking strategically is an ongoing process that involves assessing the environment which can be cultivated by being curious and genuinely interested in the environment around them, being flexible in their mindset and trying new approaches and ideas, focusing on the future and maintaining a positive outlook.
Accountable and Responsible: A successful leader is one who know how to use the power and authority they have appropriately without overwhelming or overpowering those under them. Effective leaders hold themselves accountable and take responsibility for their own mistakes, and expect others to do the same. They can work within established procedures, and be productive and efficient in their decisions. They appreciate the importance of supporting and encouraging individuality while also understanding organisational structures and the need to follow rules and policies and are able to balance different perspectives while taking appropriate action.
Goal Setting: To be a successful and effective leader, set clear goals and be determined and purposeful in achieving them. Back it all up with unshakable self-confidence. If one radiates enthusiasm and are truly excited about what they’re doing, people will be naturally drawn to them. Also something to remember is that writing down goals is key to the success, but accomplishing those goals takes time. If one give up, so will everyone around them. So to be a successful leader, one must be willing to keep going when others are tempted to throw in the towel.
Future Vision: An exceptional leader is one who has the ability to look into the future and make clear, concrete goals that will benefit them and the people under them. They are confident and optimistic, inspiring enthusiasm in those around them. Being a visionary is about managing change while striking a balance between stability and growth and incorporating new approaches without getting distracted from the main goals. Being a visionary means understanding that continuous change is occurring all around, so what worked in the past may not always work now. Practicing being adaptable and agile as new strategies are implemented is what makes strategies evolve over time.
Problem Solving: A good leader must be a problem solver who can make decisions under rapidly shifting circumstances with learning to lead in a complex environment a vital skill for any leader. Even before any definitive information is available, effective leaders must assess a situation’s complexity and choose appropriate courses of action. This means being able to scan the environment in search of subtle trends and indicators of disruptive change, and establish practices that allow you and what you are leading to respond swiftly.
Creativity And Innovation: A great leader is one with the courage to risk experimentation and encourage creativity. The key is to always be persistent in pursuing the goals set, and be open minded and flexible in how to get there. A good leader will encourage the people around them to spend at least 15 percent of their time exploring new ideas through brainstorming and prototyping.
Teamwork: Successful leadership is built on the people around them. Team building is essential to leading a diverse and unique group of people with distinct personalities, motivations and skills. Strong teams and teamwork are key to achieving many of things above, such as fostering innovation, effective communication and achieving goals. With the right kind of people under them, recruited, developed and nutured carefully, they can create an unstoppable force that will drive success.
So there you have it, the traits that one needs to nuture to become an effective and successful leader. It is also essential to realise that leadership is a social process and if one demonstrates several of the characteristics of a good leader but fail to grasp this, chances are they won’t get very far on their own. One may be well-liked and respected, but it will be challenging to accomplish team or organisational goals. And it’s worth remembering that leadership isn’t a destination, it’s something that one will have to work at regularly throughout their career, regardless of the level they are in. Leadership is less about a strong or charismatic individual and more about a group of people working together to achieve results. That’s why leadership is a journey, with different teams, projects, situations, and organisations that will require one to apply these skills in different ways.
In pretty much every Indian language, every relationship has a specific name. A paternal grandmother is referred to differently than a maternal grandmother and a mother’s sister has a different name than a father’s sister and some communities have specific ways to distinguish a sister’s daughter from a brother’s daughter and the same for their sons. In Tamil, your mother’s sister and father’s brother’s wife are both called Chitti. I looked but could not find the exact meaning, but it probably means a younger mother or someone who could potentially replace a mother if something happens to her.
My mother is the oldest of four sisters and consequently I am the oldest grandchild from my maternal side. I was very young, maybe slightly older than a toddler when the next sister after her got married and so I don’t have many memories about her. Her last sister was brought up by their childless aunt who lived close by, and so my biggest and best memories are about my second aunt. I was her favourite and in fact, long after she married and moved overseas, I was her favourite. So much so that on one of their trips to Mumbai, during an outburst, her older daughter even complained that she loved me more than she loved her and her sister.
When I first started school, around the time I was about four years old, my parents and paternal grandparents had to go to a temple town in South India for a family wedding. I can’t really remember why I didn’t go, but I assume it was a combination of me refusing to go because I didn’t want to miss school and the fact that my aunt may have jumped at the chance to look after me. I do remember that I was supposed to live with my maternal grandparents and aunt for about a month or so since my parents were supposed to do a small pilgrimage given they were going to a temple town which was close to other temples. My sister would have been a toddler at that point, so they took her along and I was sent to my grandparents house along with my things. My aunt was working as a teacher then in a nearby school and used to take tuitions in the evening and perhaps in the mornings too. On the first that I was to go to school from there, we were at the building gate bright and early, waiting for the school bus. Even after waiting for more than 30 minutes, the bus did not come and after asking around, we were told the bus had already left. My aunt was so angry, but because we were getting late, she quickly bundled me into a taxi and dropped me off to school. At school, she made sure to tell the teacher to put me in the correct bus (otherwise I would have landed in my parents place which was empty) and when the bus dropped me home, tore the bus driver a good one, which ensured that I was never forgotten as long as I stayed at their place.
Kindergarten ended around noon and I would reach home around 12:30, around which time, chitti would be getting ready for school. She taught primary classes which meant she would leave home around the time I got home. Once she left, my grandmother would get me changed, feed me lunch and make me take a nap. By the time I woke up and was ready, chitti would be back from school. She would then start her tuitions on the days she had them and teach me together with her students and get me to complete my homework. Once that was done, I would go down to play with friends before it was dinner time.
The month flew past before long and I went back home to my parents. But the bond between me and my aunt has remained till day. For both her pregnancies, when she came home from the hospital, I insisted to spending time with her, especially during her second pregnancy because I was older and it was our summer holidays. I must have spent the whole holiday there playing with my sister, cousin and friends and helping her look after the new baby.
This post took me down so many memory lanes that I throughly enjoyed putting it down. I am going to show this post to my chitti the next time I meet her to show her that I still remember our time together even after so many decades.
Today is the World Book and Copyright Day also known as World Book Day. I have written previously about this day, so hop there to know more about the history of why this day has been celebrated.
The World Book and Copyright Day is a celebration to promote the enjoyment of books and reading. Each year, on 23 April, celebrations take place all over the world to recognise the scope of books, a link between the past and the future, a bridge between generations and across cultures. On this occasion, UNESCO and the international organizations representing the three major sectors of the book industry – publishers, booksellers and libraries, select the World Book Capital for a year to maintain, through its own initiatives, the impetus of the Day’s celebrations.
The original idea of this day was from the Spanish writer Vicente Clavel Andrés as a way to honour the author Miguel de Cervantes, first on 7 October, his birth anniversary, then on 23 April, his death anniversary. In 1995 at UNESCO’s General Conference held in Paris, it was decided that the World Book and Copyright Day would be celebrated on 23 April, as the date is symbolic in world literature as it is also the anniversary of the death of Miguel de Cervantes, William Shakespeare and Inca Garcilaso de la Vega, as well as that of the birth or death of several other prominent authors.
This year, when many schools and institutes of learning have been shut because of the pandemic caused by COVID-19, reading has become an essential habit, more than ever. As more people spend time at home and limit social gatherings, the power of books should and can be leveraged to combat isolation, reinforce ties between people, expand our horizons, while stimulating our minds and creativity. Books have the unique ability both to entertain and to teach. They are at once a means of exploring realms beyond our personal experience through exposure to different authors, universes and cultures, and a means of accessing the deepest recesses of our inner selves.
Not just during the month of April, but all year round, it is critical to take the time to read on your own or with your children, if they are too young to read on their own. It is a time to celebrate the importance of reading, foster children’s growth as readers and promote a lifelong love of literature and integration into the world of work. Through reading and the celebration of World Book and Copyright Day, we can open ourselves to others despite distances, and we can travel thanks to our imagination, even though leisure travel has stopped more or less across the world.
The 2021 World Book Capital is Tbilisi, Georgia. Cities designated as UNESCO World Book Capital undertake to carry out activities with the aim of encouraging a culture of reading and diffusing its values in all ages and population groups in and out of the national borders. The cities commit to promoting books and fostering reading during a 12 months period between one World Book and Copyright Day and the next.
So please read today if you don’t otherwise read often. If you are a parent with a child too young to read, sit down with them with a favourite book and spend time reading and inculcating the love and joy that comes when you read a good book. For parents with older children, be a good role model and lead by example and show to your children how important reading is. I am going to spend most of today and the weekend with a good book, some nice hot tea or coffee and just read. What about you?
Memories and Such 