What Kind of a Parent am I?

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Ever since I started blogging here regularly, I’ve been reading a lot of blogs. This is good, because for me, reading sparks my writing.

I like to read parenting blogs a lot because hey, last time I looked, I am a parent! I’ve read a lot about helicopter parenting and this is something I am intrigued about, not so much as because I am one, but because I tend to move between being a helicopter parent and then on to the other spectrum of the scale.

So what exactly is a helicopter parent? It is one who hovers around their kid and who takes extreme interest in their activities. An extreme example could be someone who does not allow their child to take one breath without they or someone they trust making sure they are ok. We have many such examples here in Singapore and most parents here are what is locally called kiasu, the degree of kisauness varies.

BlogHer has a good blog about this, which is funny but at the same sad, very sad! Is that what our future’s are going to look like? I can already see BB & GG recoiling away in horror!

So what kind of a parent am I? Like I mentioned earlier, I tend to fluctuate between two extremes. I am very particular that BB & GG do well in their studies and tend to hover around them for that. I don’t really look at this as helicopter parenting (no, really, I don’t), but more of the fact that this world they live and will grow up in is extremely competitive and if they do want to have a good life in the future, education is the way to go. I am also very protective of them – I do not let them go down and play on their own without a responsible adult there or go anywhere out of sight of me or someone I trust, be it at home or outside. I am quite paranoid about the fact that you have many sexual predators lurking around you and unlike the States, we do not have such lists on line for parents to protect their children. So they have to be within sight of me at all times, especially when we are out of the house, except for the times they are in school or in some class.

On the other hand, I would like them to grow up a bit strong, so I am not too particular about a few germs here and there, I feel that a few germs will make you stronger and to me that is a good thing. I also prefer they fight their own battles and so will not interfere unless it degenerates into a fight.

So what kind of a parent are you? I’d love to hear from you, post your views in the comments section.

In My Hands Today…

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The Obvious Diet – Ed Victor

At last, a diet so obvious, it works! Literary agents are famous for lunching, and there is no more famous agent than Ed Victor. If Ed can lose twenty pounds in three months without changing his life-style, can can everyone! If you have tried many diets over the years but found they didn’t work, then this is the book for you. With ideas and advice from Ed Victor’s celebrity friends and clients, the book also provides anecdotes and inspirational tips to help you stick to your plan. Mel Brooks, Anne Bancroft, Tina Brown, Sidney Sheldon, Andrew Llyod Webber, and many more contribute their recipes and words of wisdom. Dieting has never been this interesting! Millions of Americans are overweight and want to do something about it – if a gourmand like Ed Victor can do it, so can you!

The Obvious Diet includes: Day-today eating plans, including the Cleansing Day and Treat Meal, Clear nutritional guidance for setting up your own plan, Invaluable motivational tips, Fabulous recipes from great restaurants, chefs, and many more sources

Neighbours all

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For some wierd reason I feel like posting on neighbours, so please bear with me.

Housing in Singapore is of two very distinct types – public and private. We live in a Housing & Development Board (HDB) Executive Apartment type of flat. It’s not too bad and around 80% of people in Singapore live in these kinds of flats. Our previous home was also an HDB flat and when we wanted to move to a bigger flat, we decided to go to HDB again since we had not taken the subsidy they give locals and so wanted to use that before we move to private housing.

We’ve lived in our present home for the past year and a half and till  today I barely know our neighbours. The block we live in is in an L shaped arrangement with the longer side having around 7 duplex type of flats and three in the shorter side (including ours) which are all on one level.

The day we shifted, we met the other two neighbours on our side of the building. They seemed nice and we exchanged hellos when we met or when the doors opened. Then one of them moved away (we didn’t know as we were on a holiday and when we came back, the neighbour was gone!). As for the others on the floor, we do not know ANY OF THEM! Funny right?

At our previous place, since I was working full-time, we also had a hello-bye relationship with our neighbours (there were a total of 6 flats on our floor including ours). But as soon as BB & GG were born, we became very friendly with them and the 6 years we spent there after the children’s birth were fun!

Contrast this with my home in Mumbai. We live in a building with 19 flats and almost all have been there for as long our family has been there (give or take around 60 years, the age of the building). I’ve grown up there and know every single person in the building. There was no fear of the unknown and all the adults living there were surrogate uncles/aunties/grandmas and grandpas! When we were younger and my parents had to go out for the evening, we used to go to one of these neighbours homes and if it became late, even slept over and came back home in the morning. When my grandparents passed away and my parents had to go to the city they were living in, it was to this particular uncle/aunty’s care that my mom left us in. She would bring us food and make sure we went to college and later to work. It didn’t matter to them that we were adults by then, my parents had left me and my sister in their care and they were going to look after us, come what may!

I miss that sense of camaraderie that we had, here it feels like every one just lives their own lives and noone is interested in the other person’s life. But then if I want to be really honest, I am also more of a self contained person and prefer my own company and that of my family’s to others…So guess this is quid pro quid…

Random Thoughts

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Today has been one of these days – one where I am not in a mood to do anything! It’s surprising, considering that I woke up with energy and even coming in to work was good – no sleeping in the bus. Dunno what happened to me at work, here I am at lunch, just waiting for the day to end…

Yesterday BB’s co-form teacher Mr. M called me with a complaint about him. Now BB has appalling handwriting and I’ve been on his back for the last 3 years, but it’s not working. The reason Mr. M called was because they have their final oral exams from today and today is the composition paper. So he was asked to write a composition for Mr. M to grade him last week. He did write it, but his writing was so bad that Mr. M asked him to copy it to a fresh page neatly. BB forgot to do it over the weekend and when Mr. M asked him to do it during recess, he refused. So when he called me letting me know about this, I was embarrased, angry and mortified! So I asked Mr. M to keep him after school (one of the options he gave me) and asked S who was at home yesterday to pick him up about 30 minutes after school ended.

Writing this blog has been one of the best things that has happened in my life recently. I feel energised when I write and after starting the Chiki and Chica series for BB & GG, everything I see or hear around me is material for a story. I really want to write stories for children, don’t know why, but in all my forays into writing, it’s always been something for children, never adults. So I took a huge step and sent an email to a local publisher who specialises in children’s books. I asked them if they want to see my writings and even if they don’t want to publish me, can they critique my work so that I can improve on it. They may not even reply, but let’s hope and wait and watch…Watch this space for more news…

In My Hands Today…

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Creole Fires – Kat Martin

The one-wealthy, flirtatious belle stood on the auction block to be sold as a servant. Her sensual figure disguised, her gorgeous titan hair disheveled, she looked like a waif, trembling when she recognised the highest bidder – idol of her childhood dreams. Alex du Villier brought the girl out of pity, but her aqua eyes stirred his soul and her body ignited his blood. She would be the perfect mistress to make him forget his coming marriage to a cold, haughty heiress. Now he intended to teach this innocent beauty that although he had purchased her freedom, he could steal her heart.