Mindfulness and Meditation: Mastering your mind

mindfulness_poster_UKI’m currently reading Ariana Huffington’s book ‘Thrive’ and though I’m only a third into the book, the chapter on mindfulness and meditation resonates with me.

I’ve been meditating on and off through the years (more off than on if I am honest), but I do practice what I now recognize as mindfulness almost every day.

According to Psychology Today, “Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you’re mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.”

nothinglackingMy version of mindfulness is just before I fall asleep. I am not the sort of person, who as soon as my head hits the pillow, I fall asleep. I usually take between 10-15 minutes on a good say to fall asleep and this is when I reflect and recreate my day as well as see where I was wrong and try to re-do that experience. It’s only those admittedly rare days when I am so exhausted that I do go into a deep sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow that these reflections are not done. In between, I’ve tried to meditate, but I find that I do not have the disciple to do it on a daily basis.

After reading the book, I am more than convinced that I should start BB & GG on trying (the operative word here, ever tried to get teens to stay still?). We did try getting them to meditate once, but couldn’t sustain it, but I am going to give it another shot again. With the heavy stress they are under, this may be a good solution to get them to stay grounded and maybe be able to deal with this stress.

To ensure that we get it right this time, I’ve been reading up on the benefits of mindfulness and meditation and from what I’ve read the benefits far, far outweigh the efforts.

I consider meditation to be a part of mindfulness, where we try to still our busy minds and try to be in the present. You can use anything to anchor your mind – a word or even an image. Indians, and specifically Hindus are known to chant “Om” for this and the vibrations this sound makes is supposed to be very good not only for the individual, but also the environment surrounding you and puts you in a relaxed frame of mind, which is what meditation and mindfulness are all about.

mindfulness-for-daily-lifeSomeone who practices mindfulness and meditates on a regular basis is someone who is more satisfied with life, someone who knows and accepts what life brings to them and becomes fully engaged with the ‘now’, rather than the ‘later’. This ability helps cushion you against the adversities that life will inevitably bring to you.

Scientists have also discovered that practicing mindfulness and meditating regularly help you physically – by relieving stress, lowering blood pressure, giving you the ability to manage pain and improve sleep. All this which a twenty-first century worker needs desperately!

mindfulness1The best way to do this is to find a time of the day when you can practice on a regular basis and stick to that. I prefer doing this just before bed, some people prefer doing this first thing in the morning, but it should be your call. Choose a relatively quiet place where you will not be interrupted as well as bombarded by stimuli. Relax your body and mind. You can close your eyes if that helps or you can focus your attention on an object or image. Take deep and confortable breaths and focus your attention on how you breathe. Your mind will start to wander and when it does, gently bring it back to the present. Having something to focus on like a chant or an image helps in this. I also like to keep a timer on my phone for the initial days when I know I can’t focus too much. Start small, maybe 2-3 minutes initially, gradually moving up the time you mediate and be mindful to as long as you can.

If you do this, I’d love to hear how this went. I will be starting this with BB & GG soon and will post a follow-up on this as soon as there’s some benefit. I am hoping that doing this with them for a few weeks will make this a lifelong habit and will help them through their busy and stressful lives.

I’d love to visit….

I love travel, if I could have the time and money, I’d love to travel the world! I remember one of my first conversations with S was exactly this….At some point (has to be soon lol) I will try to see as much of the world as I can…

I am a bit sad that there are so many parts of the world that are now inaccessible to me. With all the terror attacks happening around, travel these days has become something that you fear, rather than cherish. The Middle East has along with the countries to the west of India have now become unsafe to travel and so it’ll be long time before anyone can visit them. And when that happens, will the countries be as they were? Will the historical treasures, some thousands of years old, still survive?

If you read my blogs regularly, you will see I love reading books which are related to the Indian subcontinent as well as other cultures. So I’d love to actually go and visit all these different cultures myself and try and see it on an intimate level. I love going to places which I read about and if I’ve read something recently about a place I am visiting, it makes the place come even more alive to me. Also when I read about a place after I’ve visited it, most times the book becomes more real to me and instead of just reading it, it becomes my personal movie and I can actually ‘see’ the book come to life!

One country I am a bit obsessed with is Pakistan. As an Indian, born post-Independence, growing up, Pakistan was and probably still is in some people’s mind’s ‘the enemy’! Textbooks in school reinforced this and I am sure this is the same thing across the border. My wanting to visit this country may seem strange and slightly weird to any Indian who is reading this! A lot of people I know, including my dad, have memories of independence and the subsequent wars India and Pakistan have waged. I remember the Kargil War which happened when I was working in India. I remember my company going around asking people if they wanted to donate to the war efforts and most, if not all, of the people working in that place decided to donate one day’s salary to the war chest for the soldiers and their kin. My company, if I remember correctly, made a donation equal to what the employees donated. During the 1971 war between India and Pakistan, my dad was a air raid warden for our area and his responsibility was to make sure all houses had blackout paper in their windows and that when the air-raid signal went off, no one had lights shining. My neighbors in India, who are Sindhis were originally from Sindh in Pakistan and came to India as refugees post partition. But to my mind, that is politics and not the people and culture of the country and from an early age, I’ve been fascinated by that country since we share a common history for the last thousands of years, except for the last 60.

One incident comes to mind which crystallized to me just how same and at the same time different we were. I helped out in a project for a professor in a university I was working in Singapore many years back. One component was to translate Indian, specifically Hindi newspapers on specific issues. Since they could not find someone willing to do the translation, I was roped in! The study also had someone from Pakistan doing the same thing for Urdu newspapers and we both sort of translated articles relating to the same incident and the way each side portrayed the incident was a serious relevation to me! What was white on one side was shown to be black or at the very least grey in the other side and vice-versa!

Since coming to Singapore, I’ve met, interacted and befriended many Pakistanis and found them to be just as we are. The specter we always taught about may be politics and when we speak someone ‘across the border’ they are just like us, with the same language, food and clothes. I’ve realized the two things you should not speak are politics and cricket; otherwise we have loads of common things to speak about.

mohenjodaro_sindh

Excavation of Mohenjodaro, source Wikipedia

I know as someone born in India, to parents who are Indian, the chances of me going to Pakistan to see the country is probably as remote as going to the moon! I’d probably hitch a ride to the moon faster than visit Pakistan. I’d love to go and visit the sites of the Indus valley civilization and Mohenjodaro and Harappa and also see the towns and cities I’ve only seen in movies and television shows.

When I see ties between Singapore and Malaysia so cordial and movement between the two countries so easy, I mourn for something similar to happen between India and Pakistan. When we share so much together, why is it so difficult to visit each other? Maybe the politicians and people who govern both countries fear exactly that – that when we realise how similar we are, we won’t need all that hateful rhetoric and live in peace. I do hope one day (not too hopeful that it will happen in my lifetime), this does come true. In the meantime, I will live out my obsession with pictures, books, movies and television!

This actually turned out to be a fun post to write. I’ll do this on and off – listing places I’d love to visit, who knows this may be the key to me travelling there soon!

Is there any country you’d love to visit but can’t for a variety of reasons? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments!

2105 Week 44 Update

Surprisingly this week went by faster than I thought it would. Work-wise, it’s still the same. I don’t have enough work to fill the eight hours at work. The day I have something to occupy my time for atleast half the day, I am happy! I’ve realized it’s far more difficult to pretend to be busy and do work than to actually do something….

Tomorrow is Diwali, the festival of lights and probably the most important festival in the Hindu calendar for the year. I’ve been busy preparing sweets and savories and have over-extended myself this year. Hopefully by the end of the day, I actually finish making all that I have planned for…

Beofre the festival, people clean and if possible, renovate and decorate their homes. The festival is celebrated slightly differently in North and South India. What’s common is the creation of beautiful rangolis or patterns made from coloured flour outside homes and decorated with lamps. The lamps are kept lit throughout the night so as to invite Goddess Lakshmi, the Goddess of Wealth into your home. People also wear new clothes across the country on Diwali and burst fire crackers outside.

In South India, Diwali is celebrated as the day Lord Krishna defeated the evil demon Nakasura and is called Naraka Chaturthi. Here, traditionally, especially in Tamil Brahmin homes, if the festival falls on a new moon, everyone wakes up super early and the lady of the house first takes a bath and lights the lamp. Then one by one, family members come and sit in front of the lamp where the lady of the house will put some gingelly oil which has been prepared the previous evening on them. They then have a bath and come and prostate before the Lord, after which they get their new clothes. Before they start the feating which is typical of the festival, they are also given a medicinal legiyam which sort of helps digest all the fried food and sweets which you eat throughout the day.

In North India, the festival is celebrated as the day Lord Rama, from the epic, Ramayana was welcomed back home to Ayodhya in present day Uttar Pradesh along with his wife Goddess Sita and brother Lord Lakshmana after a 14 year exile. Lamps are lit to welcome the trio. Prayers are also said to Goddess Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth in the evening of Diwali.

Certain communities also welcome their new year on the last day of the celebrations.

Here’s wishing all of you a very Happy Diwali! May the festival of lights light up your lives and bring you happiness and abundant prosperity….

My Name is My Own

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet” – William Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet

Once upon a time…..actually this start has nothing to do with my post today, but since this is something I’ve thought over a long time, I decided to use it!

I’ve been a feminist for a long time, even before I knew what the word meant. I guess, growing up without any brothers meant that my sister and I were given a more liberal upbringing than most girls we knew. That might have been the starting of my innate feminism I guess!

Growing up, I always wondered why a woman should change her name to reflect that of her husband when she got married. I didn’t really do anything about this because this was the norm in India when I was growing up and I didn’t see anyone bucking this. However, this changed when I started working. One of my first supervisors, a wonderful woman, got married when we were working together and didn’t change her name. However, HR assumed she would do so and I remember the first day she came back after her honeymoon, she got a note and in the envelope was her married name: Mrs. XXX

She was furious and sent out a note to HR letting them know that unless she officially sent them intimation about her name change, they could not arbitrarily change her name without her permission. I witnessed the whole drama and asked her why. She replied that she is a person in her own right and is not an extension of her husband and so is not planning to change her name, now or ever. This got me thinking and I also started looking at the possibility of not changing my name when I got married.

When I got married later in life, there was not much time to do anything except get to Singapore after the wedding. In this hustle and bustle, the whole process of changing names just got left over. My passport was in my maiden name and changing names (Indian bureaucracy is to be seen to be believed) would mean I could not fly to Singapore with S. In fact, if I remember correctly, this topic didn’t appear in anyone’s consciousness and I flew to Singapore in my maiden name.

Then I decided, I will not change me name. My whole life, prior to my wedding, was as important to me as my life after it, and so a name change will probably mean starting a new life from zero. Also all school and work records are in my maiden name, so this will mean a big explanation each time I show these records to potential employers. I also thought that since my parents raised me to be the person I am today, it is only right I honour them by continuing to keep my maiden name.

S was cool about this since most women do not change names after marriage in Singapore. This is because they get their National Registration Identity Card (NRIC) at the age of 15, when no-one is married and so girls continue with this name through their lives.

I sometimes wonder if this would have been a bigger issue if I lived elsewhere than Singapore, but c’st la vie!

Isn’t it unfair that guys don’t have to do anything like this? What do you think?

Festivals of India: Navratri

With the Ghatasthapana, yesterday marked the start of the nine days of revelry that is the Navratri festival. This festival, which pays homage to the female energy or shakti is dedicated to the nine major Goddesses of the Hindu Pantheon.

Navratri translates to Nav or nine and ratri or nights in Sanskrit. During the nine nights of Navratri, nine forms of Devi or the female energy are worshipped. The tenth day is celebrated as Dusshera or Vijayadashami or The Day of Victory. This comes about as this was the day Lord Ram (of the celebrated Hindu epic, Ramayana) defeated the Demon Lord king Ravana in what is present day Sri Lanka and freed his wife Goddess Sita who was imprisoned by Ravana. The two, along with Lord Rama’s brother Lord Lakshmana who had accompanied his brother and sister-in-law in their exile, then left for home as this day had also ended their fourteen years of exile. The enter the city of Ayodhya in north India around twenty days later, which is celebrated as the festival of Diwali in north India.

Navaratri represents a celebration of the Goddess Amba, (the Power). Navaratri or Navadurga Parva happens to be the most auspicious and unique period of devotional sadhanas and worship of Shakti (the sublime, ultimate, absolute creative energy) of the Divine conceptualized as the Mother Goddess-Durga, whose worship dates back to prehistoric times before the dawn of the Vedic age.

A whole chapter in the tenth mandal of the Rigveda addresses the devotional sadhanas of Shakti. The “Devi Sukta” and “Isha Sukta” of the Rigveda and “Ratri Sukta” of the Samveda similarly sing paeans of praise of sadhanas of Shakti. In fact, before the beginning of the legendary war between the Pandavas and Kauravas in the Mahabharata – a foundational Sanskrit epic in the Hindu tradition – Lord Krishna worshipped Durga, the Goddess of Shakti, for the victory of the Pandvas.

The Navaratri commences on the first day (pratipada) of the bright fortnight of the lunar month of Ashwin. The festival is celebrated for nine nights once every year during the beginning of October, although as the dates of the festival are determined according to the lunar calendar, the festival may be held for a day more or a day less.
This is how Navratri is celebrated in most parts of India, specifically in the north. The first day of Navratri is the Pratipada or Ghatastapana pooja, the second day called Dwitya is the Chandra Darshan Brahmacharini Pujan. The third day is the Tritiya day and the pooja that day is the Sindoor Tritiya Chandraghanta Pujan while the fourth or Chaturti day is the Varad Vinayaka Chauth. The fifth or Panchami day is the Upang Lalita Vrat Skandamata Pujan, while the sixth or Shashti and seventh or Saptami is devoted to the Godess of Learning or Saraswati with the Saraswati Awahan Katyayani Pujan on the sixth day and the Saraswati Puja Kalaratri Pujan on the seventh day. The eighth day is called Ashtami and is the day the Goddess Durga is worshipped with the Durga Ashtami Mahagauri Pujan Sandhi Puja or Maha Ashtami. The last day of the Navratri is called Navami and this day is when you worship your implements of your profession and is called Ayudha Puja or Durga Visarjan or Maha Navami. So on this day, students and professionals will put their books in front of a portrait of Goddess Saraswati, IT guys will worship their computers, farmers will worship their plough, tractors, other professionals will worship what they use the most….you get the point….
Everyday of the nine days has a colour associated with it. Sunday is red/maroon, Monday is white or cream, Tuesday is orange, Wednesday is green, Thursday is yellow, Friday is silver and Saturday is blue or peacock. Most people will try to wear the above colours during the nine days. I remember when I was working in India, almost everyone in the office would be wearing uniform colours depending on the day! I too try to wear the colours as much as possible, but working means you can’t wear colours like silver, so I try to incorporate it somewhere as much as possible.

In our neighbouring state of Gujarat, the Navratri is a huge festival, with the nights reserved for dance. Every day, everyone, be you young or old, will flock to communal grounds and dance the Garba and the Dandiya Raas! This practice is also very popular in Mumbai and I am also nostalgic about this festival when you get a chance to dress up and go and dance the night away!

In Tamil Nadu, dolls and idols are set up on tiers of steps called Golu. Usually in the evening, women and girls are invited to the house of the host and they are given turmeric and betel leaves, called vathailay paaku and asked to sing for the Goddess. On the ninth day, as mentioned, Saraswati Pooja is done which I have blogged before. Books, computers, musical instruments are placed before the Goddess and worshipped.

On the next day, which is Vijayadashami when good overcomes evil, children are encouraged to read the books. The tenth day is also a day for beginings. Most new ventures will start this day. I remember we did BB & GG’s vidhyarambham or the day children formally start learning when they were around two years old on a trip to India during Dusshera day. That day parents make the children write a holy word on a mound of rice and this kind of starts their formal learning journey. Most parents do it just before their children start school, but we did it earlier than usual as the children were scheduled to start daycare a few months after Dusshera and that India trip.

In the evening of “Vijayadasami”, any one doll from the “Kolu” is symbolically put to sleep and the Kalasa is moved a bit towards North to mark the end of that year’s Navaratri Kolu. Prayers are offered to thank God for the successful completion of that year’s Kolu and with a hope of a successful one the next year. Then the Kolu is dismantled and packed up for the next year.

Mysore, in the state of Karnataka is very well-known for it’s Navratri festivities, which is the state festival, with the royal family taking part whole heartedly. On the ninth day of Dasara, called Mahanavami, the royal sword is worshipped and is taken on a procession of decorated elephants, camels and horses. On the tenth day, called Vijayadashami, the traditional Dasara procession (locally known as Jumboo Savari) is held on the streets of Mysore. An image of the Goddess Chamundeshwari is placed on a golden howdah on the back of a decorated elephant and taken on a procession, accompanied by tableaux, dance groups, music bands, decorated elephants, horses and camels. The procession starts from the Mysore Palace and culminates at a place called Bannimantapa, where the banni tree is worshipped. The Dasara festivities culminate on the night of Vijayadashami with a torchlight parade, known locally as Panjina Kavayatthu.

In the eastern state of West Begal, the last four days of Navaratri are particularly celebrated as Durga Puja. This is the biggest festival of the year in this state and exquisitely crafted and decorated life-size clay idols of the Goddess Durga depicting her slaying the demon Mahishasura are set up in temples and other places. These idols are then worshiped for five days and immersed in the river on the fifth day. People in the state go puja mandal hopping and try to make it home irrespective of where they are in the world for the pooja!