Category Archives: Musing

Life’s Current Bucket List

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I keep thinking of life in and after May when I will be unemployed and I have decided that I am going to start keeping a list of things I want to do, something like a bucket list. These are all things that have been in the back burner for a while now while I was busy, but now that I will have the time, I plan to start working on them. Knowing me, I know I probably won’t do all, I am hoping I get to accomplish at least 75% of them….

The list, which may change as I go through them, is below and I am putting it here to make myself accountable. I’ve sorted them into groups so that it makes more sense to me. they are in no particular order, in fact they are as they occurred to me!

Self Improvement

Study: Aha, caught you on this right! While I do want to study based on my interests, what I meant by study is to actually do BB & GG’s coursework. With no income, I don’t have the money to spend on tuition, which is very expensive for secondary school. The hourly rate is in the rate of SGD 100 and with more subjects where they may need help, I definitely can’t afford this. So one of my goals is to start studying their syllabus and then teach them. It can’t be that difficult right? I mean I have a Masters degree and this is high school stuff! But whom I am kidding, I’m terrified and fear that I’ll mess up. But this is something I need to do and will do. Humanities should not be too difficult since I was a humanities student during college, it’s the maths and science subjects which terrify me!

Self-Learning: Speaking of studying, I keep getting emails from Coursera and I am quite tempted to take up some courses. I will do that as well as learn about photography from websites and videos. I’ve wanted to take photography courses for ages now and this is the right time to do it I think. I also want to learn how to put on makeup. My usual daily make-up is moisturizer, sunscreen, some CC powder and kohl pencil and a swipe of lipstick. I have no clue on how to apply other makeup and this seems to be a good time to learn. This is a fun thing to do I guess and also as GG starts growing, I am sure she will start wanting to experiment with makeup sooner than later and if I know something about it, it’ll make her learning so much simpler.

Investing: I have been fascinated with investing for a while now. I am student of Economics and Finance (though my studies seem very far away these days) and I plan to use this time to really study investing. I am going to study the Singapore stock market for a while and then based on what I have learned, I plan to invest a hypothetical SGD 10,000 on some stocks and track them for a few months. If I manage to get even 10% returns, I will do this with real money! May not be as much as my hypothetical money, but it will be a start.

Online Shopping: Another thing I’ve been trying to understand for a while now, but not gathered the courage to do much. I do buy online, but am always wondering if I have gotten the best deal? I did some work on e-commerce a few weeks back as part of my work and saw the power of the Chinese e-commerce sites, especially Tabao. So I want to research these sites and see if it’s really that worth it and try to do some online shopping!

Writing: I’ve always written and I think one of my long established dream is to be a published author. I’ve never really taken steps to do this and this will be the time I actually do something about it. My interest is in books and stories for children and I want to write some stories and send it to a publisher to see if they are good enough. I don’t have any creative writing background and so will also use this time to research on this – if there are some online courses, I am going to take them, or even if I can find something in my local universities. I also want to research and write some decent articles for this blog.

Work: I am also contemplating starting something on my own – there was an article on the Straits Times this weekend on freelance work and to me it seemed like a sign. I’ve signed up in one of the freelance sites I’ve used in this company before. While unemployed, I need to see if this will be to generate some income.

Exercise and eat well: My perennial favourite! I want to start walking again and this time I have a good reason – to beat my diabetes once and for all! I want to start walking again on a regular basis and eventually move to running. This time I plan to see if this works for me or no (I’ve tried running before but couldn’t keep it up) as well as eat well and avoid mindless snacking. I am also very seriously planning to go without sugar. I’ve seen some videos on what sugar does to you and this is quite tempting. It will be easier if everyone does it together, so I am going to have to brainwash my family to be in it too!

Home Improvement

Organise: Do a thorough clean-up and organizing of the house. I have tons of ideas and want to get rid of stuff (I am a certified pack-rat) as well as do some organizing projects.I plan to split this room by room over a period of time so that it does not get too overwhelming and I lose steam before I finish.

Housekeeping: I’ve never been a great housekeeper, preferring to do all the other, wonderful things you can do with your time. I’ve pretty much always relied on outside help to do things I don’t like to do and this is what I plan to change this time around. I plan to research the best way to clean my home and also figure out the best way to schedule my cleaning, such that with an initial effort but not much after that, the house is in good condition all the time. I also want to do work I don’t like and get those out of the way. I have a very low ‘icky factor’ and this is something I want to work on.

Food: My cooking in the last few years has been mundane and routine. Once R leaves, this is another area where I want to improve in. R’s repertoire is quite limited and the children and S get quite tired with the same old dishes week after week. So I want to plan menus where I can do international cuisine, both which can be taken to school as lunches as well as slightly more elaborate ones for weekends and dinners. While I am decent cook, Indian cooking does not really leave itself to much baking skills. Add to the fact that we are vegetarians, so my baking skills are really sub-par. I want to use this time to really start baking, not only making cakes and cupcakes, but also things like quiches and scones.

So there you have it! A ton of projects to do. And since I have committed it to doing it here, I really hope this will help me be accountable to myself. Let’s see what I can accomplish and how long!

Growing up in Mumbai

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Matunga – for any Tambrahm in Mumbai, especially those of a certain age, the very word evokes the feel of home. Sometimes called ‘Mini Madras’, Matunga in what would be some where in the centre of what is the original city (as opposed to the suburbs) was probably the first place the initial immigrants, young, eager, bright and wide-eyed, came to from Dadar station when their trains from the south arrived in Mumbai all ready to conquer the world, with an introduction to perhaps, if they are lucky, to a relative (distant or otherwise), or maybe someone from the same village they belonged to, or even a relative’s relative!

While I am not sure if this is 100% accurate, from what I’ve heard from my parents and grandparents, most young Tamil Brahmin boys and men started arriving in Mumbai (or Bombay as it was called then) somewhere in the early forties, some years before India would finally throw off the yoke of British dominance and become independent.

Both sets of my grandparents arrived in Bombay somewhere in the early to mid-forties, luckier than most as both my grandfathers had an older brother already settled in the city, in Matunga as it were! If I were to probably measure the distance my paternal and maternal grandparents live away from each other, when they first arrived in the city, it should probably be a maximum of 1 km.

Matunga is the heart of the Tamil Brahmin community in Bombay and as such the roads are filled with the sights and sounds of temple bells and the smells of filter coffee and delicious food!

Temples like Bhajana Samaj, Astika Samaj and Sankara Math, shops like Mysore Concerns, Giri Stores and the row of flower sellers in the road outside the post office along with the vegetable sellers who have carts close-by are all hallmarks of the Tamil Brahmin community in Matunga! Who can forget the Ram Navami and Navaratri celebrations in Bhajana Samaj, the Diwali sweets that always were sold in the hall in Sankara Matt, the banana leaf sold by the vegetable vendors during any major festival, the gaggle of priests, outside the temples, the sound of the temple bells and sugarcane stalks just before Pongal?

When their families grew, both sets of my grandparents moved from their family homes and out of Matunga. But they both didn’t’ pull the umbilical cord too much and move far away. Both of them moved another kilometer away from Matunga in opposite directions actually, and that was where my parents were brought up.

So growing up, we lived in another area which was a fifteen minute walk from Matunga, which was in the periphery of our lives, without actually living there. We used to go to Matunga for literally everything and my mum still goes there atleast two to three times a week for her weekly ‘fix’. This area in Bombay is the lifeline for the community and even today when other mini Matungas have sprung up across the city and suburbs – like Chembur, Chedda Nagar, Bangur Nagar, Mulund, Dombivili, Vashi, etc you can still people who have moved away from Matunga come here on weekends to catch-up with family and friends, eat at childhood haunts and buy essentials which you don’t get anywhere else in the city.

Growing up, there was always this disconnect – we were Tamilians, but without the accent which is usually caricatured in movies and television and always had questions on why we needed to wear a bindi on our forehead or flowers in our hair. In my and my sister’s case, it was compounded by the fact we didn’t go to the school that most of our Brahmin friends and relatives went to (which was a school run by a Tamil trust where the language was taught as a second language)!

Growing up also we were quite insular. I would say this with the benefit of hindsight. Every Tamilan I knew at that point in time was a Brahmin – either from one of the districts of Tamil Nadu or from Palakkad (from Kerala who are called Kerala Iyers or Palakkad Brahmins). Where we stayed, while not in Matunga, was in fact another Tamil conclave, with almost all the 30-40 buildings in the area having a sizeable Tambrahm population each. My building had 19 flats and with the exception of 2-3, every flat was a Tambrahm flat! This was pretty much the case (the percentages being slightly more or less, with some exceptions) for the other buildings in the street I lived in. Even in school, my friends who were Tamil were Brahmins. In fact, coming to Singapore with its vast Tamil population was actually a culture shock to me as I had never seen so many people from so many Tamil communities and the temples were the biggest shock – I had not heard of all the different Gods that were worshipped there (all the temples I visited prior to this were my community temples or the other temples in Mumbai)

Since most of the community emigrated to Bombay around 60-80 years back, the dialect of Tamil, we speak is completely different from what is spoken by the community in places like Chennai and Singapore. Bombay Tambrahms have retained the words and cadence of their speech from all those years while communities in Singapore and Chennai have adopted more of the local language. So the Tamil we speak may actually seem strange to those who don’t speak like this! S used to tell me that they used to be made fun of in school when they spoke Brahmin Tamil, which is why his Tamil sounds more like how it is in movies while mine is the one they make fun of in movies!

Writing this post has made me so nostalgic. I think the next time I go to Mumbai, I will try and capture all the sights and sounds of the city so that every time I miss Mumbai, I have these to see and hear! Also this post has made me realise I need to pen down more about my life, so that GG and BB know what that was like….

Colouring for Adults: Have you tried it?

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There’s something so soothing mindlessly colouring, the only thing worrying you being whether you should be using red or carmine for this particular spot!

When GG & BB were younger, I used to print loads and loads of colouring pages for them, based on their favourite character of the day. In the process I also used to print some for me or used to sneak out some from their stash!

Even before adult colouring books became so popular, I loved colouring. But, and a big rider to this is that I only like to colour specific things. I love geometric shapes and mandalas and last week when I was cleaning out a cupboard, I came across a fat file full of mandala print-outs all ready to colour.

These days, these colouring books for adults are all the rage, the book which started this craze is Secret Garden which I hear has sold over 2 million copies since it was released in 2013. We see loads of such books in book stores, some even specifically themed. GG & I saw a Harry Potter coloring book and GG wanted me to purchase it for her! These books are quite expensive, retailing over SGD 35 per book and each time I see them and am tempted to buy, the price always puts me off!

But what is the lure of these books? Some people believe that the repetitive motion and confined space in which you have to colour triggers some kind of mental nirvana and gives you the peace of mind that digital devices distractions are forever chasing away. These help you to unwind and kick off the stress of the daily grind. I’ve since discovered that Carl Jung, the pioneering analytical psychologist often used colouring therapy as a means to get his patients to relax way back in the early 1900s and himself used to draw and colour mandalas every morning.

Colouring also trains our minds to focus, so that we do not go out of the line and live in the moment, which is getting to be critical life skill in our lives. It’s a given that colouring helps with fine motor skills because it requires both hemispheres of the brain to communicate and this activity improves fine motor skills and vision.

When I realized I could not get myself to buy the colouring books, especially since there were not many books which catered to what I like to colour, I discovered colouring apps! I can’t remember now where exactly I heard of them, but once I did, there was no stopping me. Most of these apps are free to use with in-app purchases. I’ve yet to pay for any, so keep reusing the same free prints that are available.

I downloaded a bunch of colouring apps and then deleted some of them almost immediately. Like I mentioned before, I prefer to colour geometric shapes and mandalas and those that didn’t have a good selection of those, didn’t make the cut and were deleted.

Colorfy is one where I where I mostly use the blank geometric patterns and make my own. This one has around 2 free palettes and a free daily palette which is usually shades of a single colour.

Another good one is Adult Colouring which seems to have a good mix of pages or books as they call it. Their free colour selections are also the most extensive, but sometimes the colours tend to overlap in palettes and it gets confusing after a while.

ColorTherapy is the last one I frequent. Again a good mix of themes to colour and this one also has a lot of festival-centric pages. Free colour selections are limited though!

All the apps above are from the Apple App Store. I do not know if they are available on Android phones and are free/with in-app purchases.

In My Hands Today…

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A Nail Through the Heart – Timothy Hallinan

Travel writer Poke Rafferty was good at looking for trouble–so good that he made a little money writing a few offbeat travel guides for the young and terminally bored. But that was before Bangkok stole his heart. Now the expat American is happily playing family with Rose, the former go-go dancer he wants to marry, and with Miaow, the wary street child he wants to adopt. Yet just when everything is beginning to work out, trouble comes looking for Poke in the guise of good intentions. First he takes in Miaow’s friend, a troubled and terrifying street urchin named Superman. Then he agrees to find a distraught Aussie woman’s missing uncle–and accept an old woman’s generous payment to find a blackmailing theif. Soon, these three seemingly disparate events begin to overlap, pulling Poke deeper into dark, unfamiliar terrain. Gradually he realizes that he’s been gliding across the surface of a culture he really doesn’t understand–and that what he doesn’t know is about to hurt him and everyone he loves.

2016 Week 10 Update

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This week I’ve been in a funk! The reality that I will be unemployed in about 6 weeks time probably hit me and I’ve been completely unproductive the whole week. I had plans, none of which I did. I really need to step it up if I have to have any hope come May.

I did send out my resume to a few places last week, but no nibble yet, that probably also had a hand in why I was so out of sorts. Though I have plans on what I will do post May, I also don’t want to be in that position….Its a catch-22 situation for me and I don’t like it one bit!

Big B is being quite nice to me these days and I guess there’s some guilt involved in that. I do plan to let him know if I need to take time off for interviews, but so far there’s nothing, not even a speck in the horizon – guess my age and varied experiences are finally catching up with me, a situation I dislike tremendously.

This week will be a short work week for me as I am on leave on Friday. My sister-in-law is pregnant after trying for close to 10 years and that day is the traditional baby shower. Unlike western cultures, most Indian communities have a very elaborate baby shower or Godh Bharai in Hindi and Seemantham in Tamil. In our community this is done usually in the seventh or ninth month of pregnancy and traditionally this is the date when the pregnant woman leaves for her parents place to complete her pregnancy and deliver the baby. These days though, most women only go to their parents homes after delivery, if at all.

Hopefully, writing this down will be cathartic and I am able to shake off the funk that I’ve been in and this week is a good one! Have a great week people!!