In My Hands Today…

Excuse Me While I Disappear: Tales of Midlife Mayhem – Laurie Notaro

A laugh-out-loud spin on the realities, perks, opportunities, and inevitable courses of midlife.

Laurie Notaro has proved everyone she didn’t end up in rehab, prison, or cremated at a tender age. She just went gray.

At past fifty, every hair’s root is a symbol of knowledge (she knows how to use a landline), experience (she rode in a car with no seat belts), and superpowers (a gray-haired lady can get away with anything).

Though navigating midlife is initially upsetting―the cracking noises coming from her new old body, receiving regular junk mail from mortuaries―Laurie accepts it. And then some.

With unintentional abandon, she shoplifts a bag of russet potatoes. Heckles a rude driver from her beat-up Prius. And engages in epic trolling on Nextdoor.com. That, says Laurie, is the brilliance of growing older. With each passing day, you lose an equivalent amount of fear. And the #1 New York Times bestselling author has never been so fearlessly funny as she is in this empowering, candid, and enlightening memoir about living life on the other side of fifty.

Short Story: The Homecoming

A young Brahmin named Narayan lived in the small town of Narmadapuram, nestled along the banks of the sacred Narmada River. Born into a family of priests, Narayan was raised in a household steeped in tradition and discipline. His father, Pandit Raghav, was a strict and learned man who upheld the values of their lineage with unwavering resolve. Narayan often felt the weight of his father’s expectations pressing down on him.

At 18, Narayan had just completed his class 12 exams. The day was bright and filled with promise, and his friends had convinced him to celebrate their newfound freedom. They planned a day of fun, laughter, and indulgence. Little did Narayan know that this day would change his life.

“Come on, Narayan! Let’s have some fun!” his friend Vikram urged, a mischievous grin on his face. “We’ve earned it!” 

With a mix of excitement and apprehension, Narayan agreed. They ventured into the heart of the town, where the air was filled with the aroma of street food and the sounds of celebration. As the sun dipped lower in the sky, they found themselves at a local eatery, where the boys ordered meat dishes and drinks.

Just as they were enjoying their meal, Narayan’s father appeared at the entrance, his face a mask of fury. “Narayan!” he bellowed, his voice echoing through the crowded eatery. “What have you done?”

Narayan’s heart sank. He had never seen his father so angry. “Baba, I—”

“Silence!” Pandit Raghav interrupted, his voice cold and unforgiving. “You have disgraced our family. You’re a Brahmin, and you should know better than to indulge in such vices.”

Without waiting for an explanation, Raghav turned and stormed out, leaving Narayan, humiliated and bewildered. The laughter of his friends faded into the background as he realised the gravity of his father’s words.

“Get out of my house!” Raghav had shouted when they returned home. “You’re no son of mine.”

His wife and other children’s words had no impact on Raghav and with a finality, he shut the door in Narayan’s face. With that, Narayan was cast out, forced to leave the only home he had ever known. He wandered the streets of Narmadapuram, lost and alone, the weight of his father’s rejection heavy on his heart.

For the next 14 years, Narayan roamed the vast landscapes of India. He travelled from the bustling streets of Mumbai to the serene hills of Rishikesh, seeking solace in the beauty of the world around him. He took on various jobs, from working as a waiter to assisting in temples, trying to find a sense of belonging.

Despite the freedom he experienced, Narayan felt a void in his heart. He missed his family, especially his younger sister, Radha, and his brother, Lakshman. Memories of their childhood together haunted him, but pride and fear kept him from returning home.

As the years passed, Narayan grew into a man of resilience and wisdom. He learned to appreciate the diversity of life and the lessons it offered. Yet the longing for his family never faded. Over the years Narayan had worked his way up in the hospitality industry and now owned a small, but thriving cafe in Pune’s Fergusson College Road, which was a big hit with students and office goers for the eclectic cuisine it offered.

Narayan was also married by now to Sayali, and had a two-year-old son, whom he had named Ram, in honour of his father. He seemed to have a happy life, but the ache in his heart would not go away. Sayali would often find introspective and sad, but knew enough of his life to not probe further. 

One fateful day, at the cafe, Narayan encountered an old neighbour from Narmadapuram. The man whom he knew as Abhay bhaiya was about a decade older than him. Abhay was with a woman and a teenager who looked just like him. As Abhay was eating, he kept staring at Narayan and while paying the cost of their meal, approached him with a warm smile.

“Is that you, Narayan? My, how you’ve changed!” Abhay exclaimed. Narayan felt a mix of emotions. “Yes, it’s me, Abhay bhaiya,” he replied cautiously. Abhay introduced him to his wife and son, who was now enrolled in Fergusson College. Narayan wanted to ask about his family but hesitated. Seeing this, Abhay decided to broach the topic. 

“Your family is fine, though your mother has never stopped pining for you. And your father is distraught that, in anger, he threw you out of the house. He repented the next day and looked all over for you, but could never find you,” Abhay continued, his expression turning sombre. “Lakshman in his final year of college and studies engineering in Indore while Radha is getting married soon, just after Diwali.”

The news struck Narayan like a lightning bolt. His heart raced as he processed the information. Radha was getting married? He had missed so much of their lives, and now he was about to miss the most significant moment for his sister.

That night, Sayali knew something was bothering Narayan, but waited for him to open his heart to her. Finally after a while, Narayan heaved a huge sigh and turned to his wife. “We are going home for Diwali”, he proclaimed. Sayali was stunned and just looked at her husband as she processed his proclamation. Sayali knew in her heart this was what was needed for Narayan to heal and she turned to her husband with a huge smile. “Yes, let’s go home for Diwali, it is time Siddarth knows this part of his family”. 

With a newfound determination, Narayan set out for Narmadapuram. The journey was filled with memories of his childhood, his parents, and his siblings, but also tainted by the pain of his departure. A few days later, Narayan finally arrived at the familiar streets of his hometown. The sights and sounds flooded back, and he felt a mix of nostalgia and anxiety. Would his family accept him after all these years?

The streets of Narmadapuram were adorned with lights and decorations to welcome the festival of lights. The air was filled with the scent of sweets and the sounds of laughter. Narayan stood outside his childhood home, his heart pounding in his chest. Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward and knocked on the door. Moments later, it swung open to reveal his mother, her eyes widening in shock.

“Narayan?” She gasped, tears welling up in her eyes. “Maa,” he replied, his voice trembling. “I’m home.”

His mother rushed forward, enveloping him in a warm embrace. “Oh, my son! We thought we had lost you forever!”

As they embraced, Narayan felt the weight of the years lift from his shoulders. He stepped inside, where his father stood, his expression a mix of surprise and disbelief.

“Baba,” Narayan began, but Raghav held up a hand. “Let’s talk later,” he said, his voice softening. “I need time to process this.” Narayan nodded, understanding the complexity of emotions swirling within his father. He turned to see Radha and Lakshman watching from the side, their faces filled with joy and surprise.

“Bhaiya!” Radha exclaimed, rushing forward to hug him. “I can’t believe you’re here!” “Radha, I’ve missed you so much,” Narayan replied, his heart swelling with love for his sister.

“This is Sayali and Siddharth, your daughter-in-law and grandson,” Narayan introduced his family to his family. His mother stopped her daughter-in-law from entering the house, rushing to the kitchen to bring the aarti thali or the veneration tray, to welcome her grandson and daughter-in-law into their family.

“This Diwali is the best gift I have received,” Narayan’s mother exclaimed when she sat down after a hectic day surrounded by her family. “Not only is my daughter going to her home, but to fill this void, I have now gotten another daughter and a grandson.” 

As the days passed, Narayan settled back into the rhythm of family life. The wedding preparations for Radha were in full swing, and the house was filled with laughter and excitement. Narayan, Sayali and Siddharth helped wherever they could, feeling a sense of belonging that had always been missing in their lives. 

On the day of the wedding, the atmosphere was electric. The house was adorned with flowers, and the sounds of traditional music filled the air. Narayan watched as Radha, radiant in her bridal attire, prepared to embark on this new chapter of her life. As the ceremony unfolded, Narayan felt a profound sense of gratitude. He had returned just in time to witness his sister’s happiness, and he knew he was exactly where he was meant to be.

Later that evening, as the celebrations continued, Narayan found a quiet moment outside the house. The sky was painted with stars, and the air was filled with the sweet scent of marigolds. He took a deep breath, reflecting on how far he had come. Just then, he heard footsteps behind him. It was Sayali, her face glowing with contentment. “Narayan, I am so glad you decided to come back. Meeting Ma and Baba has been so fulfilling for both me and Siddharth.” 

“Yes, this is truly the homecoming I wondered if I ever would have.” They heard footsteps behind them and soon were surrounded by Raghav, who was carrying Siddharth as if afraid to let him go, as well as his wife and Lakshman. “Narayan, I am sorry; I should not have thrown you out of the house all these years ago. Thank you for coming back and forgiving  me.” With folded hands, Raghav stood before his son, who pulled his father into a hug that erased all those years of loneliness. Father and son stood like that for a while as the years melted away and all the rancour was erased. 

Narayan and his family spent a few weeks with each other before they returned back to Pune. When his parents started growing older and less mobile, Narayan brought them back to Pune to spend their golden years with him and Sayali. Lakshman also found a job in Pune after his course and the family spent many years together.

2024 Week 45 Update

According to Jamaican singer, songwriter, and cultural icon, Bob Marley’s quote reflects a deep insight into the nature of contentment and fulfillment. Marley is saying that true success isn’t measured by competing with others or chasing society’s version of success. Often, we’re so focused on “winning” externally—whether that’s in career, wealth, or status—that we lose touch with what actually brings us peace and happiness. When we let go of the relentless drive to outdo others or to meet external expectations, we can finally achieve a sense of inner victory. Winning, in Marley’s perspective, is about finding joy, acceptance, and meaning in life without needing to constantly race toward an ever-shifting finish line. This perspective invites us to shift our focus inward and consider what truly makes us feel fulfilled and happy, rather than only striving to meet external standards or goals.

And this quote is very timely for me this week. I have been plagued by many aches and pains this week in multiple parts of my body. One of the pain points is one of my ankles which is very painful especially when I walk. So this week, I have decided to take it slow and not walk as much as I do so that I can heal from it.

GG is extremely busy with school as she has exams starting next week and that will be end of her third semester. The difficulty level is ramping up and during term time, I can hear her muttering and grumbling about the course! BB is enjoying his driving course which should end sometime this month. We are also enjoying BB’s time with us as this portion of his course is stay-out which means he stays at home and goes to camp in the morning and returns home in the evening.

That’s all from me today. Stay positive and keep smiling!

In My Hands Today…

Code Dependent: Living in the Shadow of AI – Madhumita Murgia

A riveting story of what it means to be human in a world changed by artificial intelligence, revealing the perils and inequities of our growing reliance on automated decision-making

On the surface, a British poet, an UberEats courier in Pittsburgh, an Indian doctor, and a Chinese activist in exile have nothing in common. But they are in fact linked by a profound common experience—unexpected encounters with artificial intelligence. In Code Dependent , Murgia shows how automated systems are reshaping our lives all over the world, from technology that marks children as future criminals, to an app that is helping to give diagnoses to a remote tribal community.

AI has already infiltrated our day-to-day, through language-generating chatbots like ChatGPT and social media. But it’s also affecting us in more insidious ways. It touches everything from our interpersonal relationships, to our kids’ education, work, finances, public services, and even our human rights.

By highlighting the voices of ordinary people in places far removed from the cozy enclave of Silicon Valley, Code Dependent explores the impact of a set of powerful, flawed, and often-exploitative technologies on individuals, communities, and our wider society. Murgia exposes how AI can strip away our collective and individual sense of agency, and shatter our illusion of free will.

The ways in which algorithms and their effects are governed over the coming years will profoundly impact us all. Yet we can’t agree on a common path forward. We cannot decide what preferences and morals we want to encode in these entities or what controls we may want to impose on them. And thus, we are collectively relinquishing our moral authority to machines.

In Code Dependent , Murgia not only sheds light on this chilling phenomenon, but also charts a path of resistance. AI is already changing what it means to be human, in ways large and small, and Murgia reveals what could happen if we fail to reclaim our humanity.

Festivals of India: Wangala

Also known as the Hundred Drums Festival, the Wangala festival is one of the most significant and colourful celebrations of the Garo tribe in Meghalaya. This post-harvest festival marks the end of the agricultural year. It is a thanksgiving ceremony for Misi Saljong, also known as Pattigipa Ra’rongipa or the Great Giver, the sun god of fertility. The Wangala festival is a vibrant display of Garo culture, traditions, and their deep connection to nature and agriculture.

The Wangala festival has its roots in the ancient agricultural practices and beliefs of the Garo people. The Garos, one of the major tribes of Meghalaya, are known for their matrilineal society and strong connection to the land. Agriculture has been the primary occupation of the Garos for centuries, and their festivals and rituals are closely tied to the agricultural cycle.

The exact origin of the Wangala festival is lost in the mists of time, but it is believed to have been celebrated for many generations. The festival’s name, “Wangala,” is derived from the Garo word “wanna,” which means celebration. It is a time when the community comes together to express gratitude for a bountiful harvest and to seek blessings for the coming year.

Historically, the Wangala festival was celebrated independently in every Garo village. Each village would have its dates and duration for the festival, which could last anywhere from a few days to a week. However, in recent times, efforts have been made to organise a centralised Wangala celebration to showcase Garo culture to a wider audience and preserve their traditions.

The Wangala festival is deeply rooted in Garo mythology and their traditional belief system. At the festival’s heart is the worship of Misi Saljong, the sun god, believed to be the provider of good harvests and prosperity. According to Garo mythology, Misi Saljong taught the Garo people the art of agriculture. He showed them how to clear the land, sow seeds, and harvest crops. The Garos believe that it is through Misi Saljong’s blessings that they receive abundant harvests. The Wangala festival is their way to express gratitude to this benevolent deity and to seek his continued favour. Another important mythological figure in the Wangala festival is Goera, the goddess of agriculture. Goera is believed to be the protector of crops and is often invoked alongside Misi Saljong during the festival rituals.

The Garos also believe in various nature spirits that inhabit the forests, rivers, and mountains. These spirits are thought to play a role in the success of their agricultural endeavors. During the Wangala festival, offerings are made to these spirits to appease them and ensure their cooperation in the coming agricultural year.

One of the myths associated with the Wangala festival tells of a time when the Garo people faced a severe drought. The crops were failing, and the community was on the brink of starvation. The village elders gathered to perform rituals and prayers to Misi Saljong. According to the legend, Misi Saljong appeared to them in a dream and instructed them to perform a dance with drums and to make offerings of rice beer. When the villagers followed these instructions, rain began to fall, and their crops were saved. This myth is said to be the origin of the drum dance that is now central to the Wangala celebrations.

The preparations for the Wangala festival begin well in advance of the actual celebration. As the harvest season nears its end, the village elders come together to decide on the dates for the festival. Traditionally, the festival is held in November, but the exact dates can vary depending on the completion of the harvest and other local factors. Once the dates are set, the entire community gets involved in the preparations. 

One of the most important preparations is the brewing of rice beer, known as “chu” in the Garo language. Rice beer plays a significant role in Garo rituals and celebrations. The brewing process begins several weeks before the festival to ensure that the beer is properly fermented by the time of the celebration. The Garos take great pride in their traditional clothing, and the Wangala festival is an occasion to showcase their finest attire. Women prepare colourful wraparound skirts called dakmanda and blouses kutchi. Men ready their traditional dhotis and vests. Special attention is given to the headdresses, often adorned with feathers and hornbill beaks.

The festival’s alternative name, “Hundred Drums Festival,” highlights the importance of drums in the celebration. Skilled craftsmen in the village work on repairing old drums and making new ones. The primary drum used in the Wangala festival is the “dama,” a long, cylindrical drum made from hollowed-out tree trunks and animal hide. The entire village undergoes a thorough cleaning in preparation for the festival. Houses are repaired and whitewashed. The central area where the main celebrations will take place is cleared and decorated with bamboo structures, flowers, and leaves.

A significant amount of time is spent preparing food for the festival. Large quantities of rice, meat, and vegetables are readied for the communal feasts that will take place during the celebration. In the weeks leading up to the festival, the community, especially the youth, practice the traditional dances and songs that will be performed during the Wangala. 

The Wangala festival typically lasts two to three days, although in some villages, it can extend up to a week. The celebration is a mix of solemn rituals and joyous festivities. The first day of the festival is known as Salgittal or Salgittoa, which means “thanksgiving.” This day is marked by several important rituals. The festival begins with the village priest, the “Kamal,” performing an invocation ceremony. The Kamal offers prayers to Misi Saljong and other nature spirits, seeking their blessings for the community. The first fruits of the harvest are offered to Misi Saljong. This typically includes newly harvested rice, vegetables, and fruits. The offering is made on a special altar set up for the occasion. In some villages, a ceremonial sacrifice of a rooster or a goat may be performed. This is done to appease the spirits and ensure their continued favour. The Nokma or village chief and other important members of the community are anointed with rice powder mixed with water. This symbolises purification and preparation for the festivities to come. A sacred fire is lit, which will be kept burning throughout the festival. This fire symbolises the presence of Misi Saljong among the people.

The second day, known as Kakkat or Kakket, is the main day of celebration. This is when the most iconic events of the Wangala festival take place. The day begins with the Rugala ceremony, where Nokma and his wife lead a procession to the central festival ground. They carry a basket of rice, which symbolises the community’s harvest. The highlight of the festival is the Wangala dance. Dancers, dressed in colourful traditional attire, form lines with men and women alternating. They dance to the rhythmic beat of drums, bamboo clappers, and gongs. The dance movements mimic various agricultural activities such as sowing, weeding, and harvesting. This is where the festival gets its alternative name. A hundred or more drums are played simultaneously, creating a thunderous and mesmerising rhythm. The sound of the drums is believed to reach Misi Saljong, carrying the community’s prayers and gratitude. A grand feast is held where the community comes together to share food and rice beer. This feast symbolises the abundance of the harvest and the spirit of community sharing. Various traditional games and sports are organised, including wrestling, tug-of-war, and archery competitions. 

The final day of the festival is typically reserved for concluding rituals. The Kamal leads the community in offering final thanksgiving prayers to Misi Saljong and other deities. The sacred fire lit on the first day is ceremonially extinguished, marking the end of the festival. The community elders bless the younger generation, wishing them prosperity and good fortune for the coming year. In some villages, there are rituals to bid farewell to the spirits and deities, thanking them for their presence during the festival.

Music and dance are integral to the Wangala festival. The most important musical instruments used during the celebration include the Dama, a long, cylindrical drum that gives the festival its “Hundred Drums” moniker; the Nagra, a smaller drum used to provide counterpoint rhythms; the Gong which is used to provide additional rhythmic elements; and Bamboo Clappers which provides a distinctive clacking sound that complements the drums. The Wangala dance is a complex performance that tells the story of the agricultural cycle. The dancers move in synchronised patterns, their movements representing different farming activities. Swaying movements represent the swaying of rice plants in the wind while stomping feet mimic the act of threshing rice and hand movements show the sowing of seeds and the harvesting of crops. The dance is performed in lines, with men and women alternating. As the dance progresses, the tempo of the music increases, and the movements become more energetic, culminating in a joyous celebration of the harvest.

Food plays a central role in the Wangala festival. The celebration is an opportunity for the community to come together and share in the abundance of the harvest. Some traditional dishes served during the festival include Wak Pura, a dish made from pork and bamboo shoots, Nakham Bitchi, a chicken curry cooked with special herbs, Pura which are various types of smoked meat, Minil Songa, a dish made from fish and local vegetables, and Pitha which are rice cakes often served as dessert. Rice, being the main crop, features prominently in all meals. It is often served with various meat and vegetable side dishes. The traditional rice beer, “chu,” is essential to the celebration. It is consumed during the feasts and used in various rituals as an offering to the deities.

The Wangala festival holds immense social and cultural significance for the Garo community. The festival brings the entire community together, strengthening social bonds and reinforcing a sense of shared identity. Through the rituals, dances, and music, the festival helps in preserving and passing down Garo cultural traditions to younger generations. The festival marks the end of the agricultural year and the beginning of a new cycle, helping to structure the community’s annual activities. Today, the festival has become a tourist attraction, bringing economic benefits to the region. The festival’s focus on nature worship and agricultural cycles helps maintain an awareness of environmental issues among the community.

While the Wangala festival remains an important part of Garo culture, it faces several challenges in the modern era. As more young Garos move to cities for education and employment, there’s a risk of losing touch with traditional practices. The spread of Christianity among the Garo community has led to changes in how the festival is perceived and celebrated. There are concerns that the increasing tourism around the festival might lead to its commercialisation, potentially diluting its cultural significance. Changes in agricultural practices and environmental conditions pose challenges to the traditional agricultural cycle that the festival celebrates. Despite these challenges, the Wangala festival has shown remarkable resilience and adaptability. 

In recent years, there have been concerted efforts to preserve and promote the festival. While individual villages still celebrate Wangala, there are now also centralised celebrations organized by cultural organizations and the state government. These larger events help in showcasing Garo culture to a wider audience. Efforts are being made to document the rituals, songs, and dances associated with the festival to ensure their preservation. Schools and colleges in the Garo Hills region often organise programs to educate students about the significance of Wangala and other traditional festivals. The festival is now promoted as a cultural tourism event, attracting visitors from across India and abroad. While this brings economic benefits, care is taken to maintain the festival’s authenticity. Some communities have adapted certain aspects of the festival to align with changing religious beliefs while still maintaining its core cultural significance.

The Wangala festival is more than just a harvest celebration; it is a vibrant expression of Garo culture, spirituality, and connection to the land. Through its colorful dances, rhythmic music, traditional attire, and communal feasts, Wangala offers a window into the rich cultural heritage of the Garo people.

As the festival continues to evolve in the face of modern challenges, it remains a testament to the resilience and adaptability of indigenous cultures. The Wangala festival serves as a reminder of the importance of preserving cultural traditions while also embracing change.