Last week I went to a Parent Support Group in GG’s school and as it is usually the case in such meetings, one of the topics discussed was the amount of time the children spent on their mobile phones and other devices. The meeting in GG’s school was for the lower secondary parents (13-14-year-olds) while the PSG meetings at BB’s school are for all parents (children between 12-16 years old).
One of the biggest gripes that parents had was the excessive Whatsapp messages that seem to come in all the time. I too have noticed messages on their phones, some which come in at 1 pm on a school night! I’ve always wondered why the children’s parents do not seem to have any objections on their children being on their phones so late.
But then that is me. So I read a lot, spoke to people and came to some ground rules before we brought BB & GG a phone when they started the school year.
One of my biggest takeaways was this wonderful app which was recommended to me by a parent from BB’s school. The app is called OurPact and I really love it. Both the parent and child have to download the app and the parent has control over the child’s phone. How the app works is like this – as a parent, you can decide when you want to lock the child’s phone. You can lock/unlock the phone for specific times or even set up schedules for the phone to be locked/unlocked for certain periods of the day and this schedule will be followed all week. The app is available on both iOS and Android platforms.
OurPact is a contract between the parent and the child, but the app will work only if the child is willing to download the app and does not delete it. Also if either the parent o the child does not have access to wifi or data, the app will not work. When the app lock is on, the child can only use the phone to make calls, send messages through SMS or listen to music using the music stored. Whatsapp, Internet browsers, Youtube are all locked until the app is turned on again.
In our home, so far both GG & BB have taken to the app, they grumble when I lock their phones but have not indicated they want to delete the app. We also have other rules such as their phones have to be charged in my room at night and this will not happen later than 9:30 pm (their phones go into lock mode aka sleep time mode then). Most of the time, both will bring in their phones to be charged before 9:30 pm.
I don’t know how long this compliance will last and I will take it as long as I can. Hopefully by the time they insist on having their phones with them 24/7, they would have learned good digital manners. One can only hope and pray, right!
I have always been a reader, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have a book in my hand, reading anything and everything I came across – even newspapers wrapped around purchases! Growing up in India in the eighties, there were not many opportunities to read books, unless you had access to well equipped libraries or had relatives who were willing to buy and bring back books from the west. So most people depended on school libraries with public libraries being more of a joke than anything else…I used to haunt my school and college libraries, so much that I used to use up my quota of books and then ask/beg friends to lend me theirs too.
Coming to Singapore and then finding out about the library system here was akin to water to a thirsty man in a desert! Initially I used a family member’s card and then quickly got mine done as well. When BB & GG were born, I only waited two weeks before I went and got their own library cards. We’ve been borrowing books since then. GG loved reading right from the begining, but BB took a bit of time to start reading fiction. His choice of books were restricted to non-fiction, especially those relating to cars, trains and planes! His reading choices have improved a lot these days though!
I guess smartphones and other digital distractions have been a big contributors to this decline. I can see this even in GG & BB. Even though we regularly go to the library and borrow books, their phones still seem to have a stronger pull than books. Sometimes I have to take away their phones and get them to read instead. I don’t emphasise physical books, even an e-book is better than not reading at all!
