Tag Archives: Parenting

The Power of Positive Parenting: Nurturing Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence

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Nearly 90% of all adults will become parents at some point in their lives. And while most strive to be great parents, they may also find themselves confused and frustrated by the seemingly endless challenges of parenthood. Irrespective of where one is in their parenting journey, the journey is challenging and not with its twists and turns.

Positive parenting is the continual relationship between a parent(s) and a child or children that includes caring, teaching, leading, communicating, and providing for the needs of a child consistently and unconditionally. Parents strive to raise happy, confident, and well-adjusted children who want them to thrive in all aspects of life, including their emotional well-being. Emotional intelligence is a vital skill that enables individuals to understand and manage their own emotions and empathise with others. It plays a significant role in building healthy relationships, making responsible decisions, and navigating life’s challenges.

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Emotional intelligence encompasses various skills and abilities that contribute to effective emotional management. These skills include self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, motivation, and social skills. By cultivating emotional intelligence in children, they are equipped with the tools to navigate their emotions and relationships successfully.

Positive parenting is an approach that emphasises respect, empathy, and open communication. It focuses on nurturing a strong parent-child relationship, which serves as the foundation for emotional intelligence development.

Positive parenting creates a loving and supportive environment: Children thrive when they feel loved and supported. Parents should express their affection and appreciation regularly by offering praise for their children’s efforts and achievements and providing comfort and reassurance during difficult times. This sense of security helps children develop a strong foundation for emotional well-being.

Positive parenting advocates active listening: A parent should actively listen to their child’s thoughts, feelings, and concerns. This can be done by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and summarising their words. When children feel heard and understood, they develop trust and learn how to express their emotions effectively.

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Positive parenting fosters open communication: Parents should encourage open and honest communication with their children. They should create a safe space where the children are comfortable with sharing their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or criticism. Parents should respond with empathy and understanding, validating their emotions and perspectives.

Positive parenting teaches emotional literacy: Help your child develop a vocabulary for their emotions. Label and discuss different emotions, both positive and negative, so they can better understand and communicate their feelings. This awareness lays the groundwork for emotional regulation.

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So how can parents use positive parenting to nurture emotional intelligence in their children?

Emotion Coaching: Emotion coaching involves recognising and validating the child’s emotions while guiding them in managing those emotions constructively. When the child experiences a strong emotion, acknowledge and empathise with their feelings. Help them identify the emotion and explore coping strategies to regulate it effectively.

Encourage Problem-Solving: Parents should teach their child problem-solving skills by involving them in decision-making processes. Encourage them to brainstorm solutions and evaluate the pros and cons of each option. This empowers them to think critically, make responsible choices, and develop resilience.

Model Healthy Emotional Expression: Children learn by observing their parents. Parents should model healthy emotional expression by constructively managing their emotions. They should demonstrate effective coping strategies such as deep breathing, taking breaks, or seeking support when they encounter challenging situations and seeing this, their child will learn to emulate these strategies.

Teach Empathy and Perspective-Taking: Parents can help their child to develop empathy by encouraging them to understand and consider the feelings of others. They should engage in discussions about how different actions and words can impact someone’s emotions as well as encourage them to put themselves in others’ shoes and see things from different perspectives.

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Foster Emotional Regulation: Emotional regulation is a vital aspect of emotional intelligence. Parents should teach their children various techniques for managing their emotions, such as deep breathing exercises, counting to ten, or engaging in physical activities. They should encourage them to find healthy outlets for their emotions, such as journaling, drawing, or engaging in hobbies.

Encourage Social Skills Development: Social skills play a significant role in emotional intelligence. Parents should encourage their children to engage in activities that foster social interactions, such as team sports, clubs, or community service. They should provide opportunities for them to practice skills like active listening, cooperation, and conflict resolution.

Set Realistic Expectations: Emotional intelligence development is a gradual process. Parents should be patient with their children and set realistic expectations based on their age and individual capabilities. Celebrating small milestones along the way and providing constructive feedback to support their growth will help their children.

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Nurturing a child’s emotional intelligence is an investment that will benefit them throughout their lives. By practising positive parenting techniques, one can create a nurturing environment that fosters emotional well-being and resilience. Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be developed and strengthened over time.

Parents, remember to embrace the journey, be present for your child, and watch them flourish as they navigate life with confidence, empathy, and emotional intelligence.

In My Hands Today…

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It. Goes. So. Fast.: The Year of No Do-Overs – Mary Louise Kelly

The time for do-overs is over.

Ever since she became a parent, Mary Louise Kelly has said “next year.” Next year will be the year she makes it to her son James’s soccer games (which are on weekdays at 4 p.m., right when she is on the air on NPR’s All Things Considered, talking to millions of listeners). Drive carpool for her son Alexander? Not if she wants to do that story about Ukraine and interview the secretary of state. Like millions of parents who wrestle with raising children while pursuing a career, she has never been cavalier about these decisions. The bargain she has always made with herself is this: this time I’ll get on the plane, and next year I’ll find a way to be there for the mom stuff.

Well, James and Alexander are now seventeen and fifteen, and a realization has overtaken Mary Louise: her older son will be leaving soon for college. There used to be years to make good on her promises; now, there are months, weeks, minutes. And with the devastating death of her beloved father, Mary Louise is facing act three of her life head-on.

Mary Louise is coming to grips with the reality every parent faces. Childhood has a definite expiration date. You have only so many years with your kids before they leave your house to build their own lives. It’s what every parent is supposed to want, what they raise their children to do. But it is bittersweet. Mary Louise is also dealing with the realities of having aging parents. This pivotal time brings with it the enormous questions of what you did right and what you did wrong.

This chronicle of her eldest child’s final year at home, of losing her father, as well as other curve balls thrown at her, is not a definitive answer―not for herself and certainly not for any other parent. But her questions, her issues, will resonate with every parent. And, yes, especially with mothers, who are judged more harshly by society and, more important, judge themselves more harshly. What would she do if she had to decide all over again?

Mary Louise’s thoughts as she faces the coming year will speak to anyone who has ever cared about a child or a parent. It. Goes. So. Fast. is honest, funny, poignant, revelatory, and immensely relatable.

In My Hands Today…

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The World Deserves My Children – Natasha Leggero

When Natasha Leggero got pregnant at forty-two after embarking on the grueling IVF process, she was over the moon. But once her feelings of bliss dissipated, she couldn’t help but shake the lingering question: Am I doing this right? And then, Should I be doing this if the world is about to end?

In The World Deserves My Children, Natasha explores themes like “geriatric” motherhood, parenting in an environmental panic, fear and love, discipline (and conflicting schools of thought on how not to raise a brat), and more. Ultimately, Natasha determines that motherhood is worth it. After all, where do you think the next five generations of humans will be if the only people who are having kids don’t believe in science? The world deserves my children.

In My Hands Today…

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The Price of Admission: How America’s Ruling Class Buys Its Way into Elite Colleges — and Who Gets Left Outside the Gates – Daniel Golden

Every spring thousands of middle-class and lower-income high-school seniors learn that they have been rejected by America’s most exclusive colleges. What they may never learn is how many candidates like themselves have been passed over in favor of wealthy white students with lesser credentials—children of alumni, big donors, or celebrities.

In this explosive book, the Pulitzer Prize–winning reporter Daniel Golden argues that America, the so-called land of opportunity, is rapidly becoming an aristocracy in which America’s richest families receive special access to elite higher education—enabling them to give their children even more of a head start. Based on two years of investigative reporting and hundreds of interviews with students, parents, school administrators, and admissions personnel—some of whom risked their jobs to speak to the author—The Price of Admission exposes the corrupt admissions practices that favor the wealthy, the powerful, and the famous.

In The Price of Admission, Golden names names, along with grades and test scores. He reveals how the sons of former vice president Al Gore, one-time Hollywood power broker Michael Ovitz, and Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist leapt ahead of more deserving applicants at Harvard, Brown, and Princeton. He explores favoritism at the Ivy Leagues, Duke, the University of Virginia, and Notre Dame, among other institutions. He reveals that colleges hold Asian American students to a higher standard than whites; comply with Title IX by giving scholarships to rich women in “patrician sports” like horseback riding, squash, and crew; and repay congressmen for favors by admitting their children. He also reveals that Harvard maintains a “Z-list” for well-connected but underqualified students, who are quietly admitted on the condition that they wait a year to enroll.

The Price of Admission explodes the myth of an American meritocracy—the belief that no matter what your background, if you are smart and diligent enough, you will have access to the nation’s most elite universities. It is must reading not only for parents and students with a personal stake in college admissions, but also for those disturbed by the growing divide between ordinary and privileged Americans.

Happy Birthday GG & BB!

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GG & BB turn 19 today and as I have been doing for the past few years, I thought I will write them a letter this year too. Since they will graduate next year, I thought this year’s letter will be about how they can be financially savvy and learn about money.

Dear GG & BB,

As you start to look and plan your future, money will be a huge part of how you plan your lives. Money and the lack of money may be the difference between surviving and living the life of your dreams. So you must learn to manage your finances, and manage them well enough that you never have a day when you panic about not having enough.

If you think that financial planning is too tedious and can be put off to a later date, you’re not alone. Many of your friends and peer are too caught up with life to think about long-term finances. Plus, there’s always the misconception that you can only start growing your wealth after you earned your first pot of gold. However, contrary to what you might think, the best time to start planning for your financial goals is while you’re still young and have plenty of time to grow your savings.

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Set goals early: Setting your financial goals is the first critical step. Putting down your goals in writing will help you establish a finish line to aim for and determine what you need to do to get there. To help to stick to your goals, keep them somewhere you can see them regularly and also review them at a pre-determined interval, so you can fine-tune your plans as life happens.

Start saving as soon as possible: Starting to save at an early age gives you a longer runway to reach your financial goals and gives you more time to benefit from the power of compound interest. There is a formula known as the Power of 72 which allows you to determine how many years it takes for your savings to double at a certain rate of interest. In the Power of 72, you divide 72 by the interest rate to determine how many years it will take to double your principal amount.

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Use the 50/30/20 rule when budgeting: A simple rule of thumb is to split income into three broad buckets to meet expenses and savings needs. In this rule, divide your monthly take-home pay into three categories where 50% will be spent on needs, 30% will be spent on wants and the balance 20% will be set aside as savings.

Set up a dedicated bank account for your savings: To ensure that you don’t spend money meant for your long-term savings, it’s a good idea to open separate accounts; one for your regular expenses and another just for savings. Arrange for the funds meant for your savings to be automatically transferred to the dedicated account the day you receive your salary. You can do this by applying for a standing instruction with your bank, saving you the trouble of having to make the transfer yourself each month.

Look for ways to cut costs: Financial stability is not just about savings or increasing your income, but also about reducing expenses. Always be on the lookout for ways to save money; whether it’s finding the cheapest place to buy groceries or taking advantage of dining deals on your credit card.

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Focus on income, not savings: While keeping a lid on expenses is important to budgeting, some experts recommend that you should focus more on income. After all, there are only so many of your costs that you can save on, but your income has a far higher potential to grow in the long run. If you think you are good at something, try to have a side hustle so you can supplement your income.

Keep your debt in check: Having too much debt is a big obstacle to building your savings. For a start, you should ensure that you make at least the minimum payment on all your outstanding debts every month to avoid late fees and extra interest charges. You must also always pay off your credit card bills every month. Using a credit card is a great tool, but not when you incur interest in it. A good rule of thumb is that each time you use the card, you should immediately transfer the money to the account with which you pay the bills so once the bill comes, you are not in shock. You should also list your debts from the highest to the lowest interest rate and repay as much as you can on the debt that incurs the highest interest. Keep doing this till you are debt free!

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Protect your personal information: Keep identity thieves from stealing your information. Use strong passwords and change them regularly. Avoid using public wi-fi for online banking and protect your bank PIN and shield the keypad from view when using an ATM. Review your financial statements each month to make sure there are no fraudulent transactions.

Always have emergency funds which are easily accessible: You must have at least two types of emergency funds which can be easily accessed in case of emergencies. The first should be a liquid savings account which should have about three to six months of living expenses. This is if something happens like losing your job, you can use it to get by until you are on your feet again. The second is what I call a Home Fund and this will especially be useful once you both have your homes. Try to put in a couple of hundred dollars into this account each month and maybe more when you have them. At home, things break down or you spoil and you may need to replace them. Things like a television, air conditioners etc and having money in an account meant for these things can help a long way in replacing broken items immediately without dipping into your savings.

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Educate Yourself: If you don’t learn to manage your money, then other people will find ways to mismanage it for you. Some of these people could have bad intentions, others may be well-meaning, but not fully informed about your circumstances, so the best way to get the right advice for your particular circumstances and not rely on random advice is to take charge of your financial future and read a few basic books on personal finance. Once you’re armed with knowledge, you know what works best for you.

Start saving for retirement now: You may think retirement is at least four or five decades away, but you need to plan for it from today. I’ve spoken about the power of compound interest to you both, and this is the best way you can grow your money at a faster rate. The sooner you start saving, the less principal you have to invest to end up with the amount that you need to retire. Compound interest is one of the most powerful forces in finance because it grows your money exponentially, which means it can super-charge your savings, especially over time. The magic of compound interest for your retirement account is that it is interest on interest—literally. You earn interest not only on the principal which is the money you put in but also on the interest which is the money the bank pays you for holding your principal.

Remember, your finances are in your hands and you don’t need any fancy degrees or special backgrounds to become an expert at managing your finances. So go ahead and learn what you can while you are still young, so your later adulthood and retirement are not fraught with worry.

Happy birthday once again GG & BB! I know you will do great things in life and I am waiting to see you both reach your full potential.

Lots of love, hugs and kisses,
Mum