In My Hands Today…

My Sisters Made of Light – Jacqueline St. Joan

My Sisters Made of Light follows three generations of a Pakistani family as they make their way through life in the political, social, and religious maze that is their motherland.

This novel pulls readers into the compelling, heartbreaking, and often terrifying world of honor crimes against women in Pakistan through the life and family history of Ujala. Ujala decides to follow the path for which her mother has prepared her and pushes aside fears for her own safety to help other women escape from the impossible situations in which they find themselves.

2016 Week 14 Update

A quarter of 2016 is over!! Where are the days flying and why? This has been quite a bad week for me, you’ll know why as you read on.

I never learn and repeat this mistake almost every week. I try to catch up on sleep over the weekend, especially by taking a post lunch nap. Saturdays are not so bad, but when I nap on Sunday afternoons, I sometimes have difficulties going to bed at a decent time on Sunday night. So this means Monday I am pretty beat at work. Usually Monday nights are ok and I manage to catch up. But this week, for some reason I didn’t sleep well on Monday aslo and so Tuesday I was a real zombie at work. In this sleepy state in the afternoon, I decided to go down to the cafeteria in my office to see if I could get something that would wake me up, but there was nothing and on the way back, I decided to use the toilet, and I am guessing you know what happened next! Yup, I dropped my phone inside!!! It was for just a second and the phone has a cover and dropped topdown (that is the top part only was in the water for that one second). And there started my phone problems….

Intitally everything seemed fine, but later that day, the headphone jack got locked, and since then my phone decided to just randomly show me the power off button and the home button has become hypersensitive. My phone is around 15 months old and while I can still buy a new phone, I don’t want to spend the money. I’ve been reading up and doing what my good friend Google says, so let’s see if I can push this another few months…Otherwise it’s money down the drain that I can ill-afford to spend now L

I was also very upset with BB (see my post of yesterday for more details) and have since spoken to him about this. I need to work with him on toning down his aggression. I do think he’s become more aggressive these days compared to a year or two back. I’m not sure if this part of being a teen or the result of the games he plays. I need to monitor this and do something about it. I know teens don’t like being told off, so need to do this very diplomatically. He was such a sweet, non-aggressive boy; don’t know why this is happening!

Work-wise, I’m down to 20 days today and there’s still no clarity. I did speak to the company which employs me and they haven’t heard anything from this company. Apparently something should have come over the weekend, clarity perhaps, on if contractors should be renewed and if yes, for how long. The site manager did let me know that she knows it will not be for one year, definitely less. So now I need to wait for Big B to come back to me. Otherwise I am going to ask them to look for a new position for me. Nothing much to do except one slightly big presentation for which I need some data which will only be available at least a week from now, some web presentations which will take me all of next week and then my handover report! I’ve already done more than 70% of that, so I’m going to keep that till the last week to tidy it up. I need to check with Big B who will be my replacement and then will tweak it accordingly.

Oh, my reading challenge, I almost forgot about it. I’ve been quite diligent about reading one non-fiction and non frivolous book for the past two months, need to just be slight more diligent about it. As of the 31st of March, I’ve managed to finish 74 out of my targeted 150 books which is almost 60% of the challenge! Most are the really fun books (romance and chick-lit which don’t take much time to go through, I can read a book a day for these), so I guess once I hit 100 books, I’ll have to revise my challenge numbers….

Well that was my week, let’s see what this week holds for me. Hopefully a much better week and a better month than the previous one. Have a wonderful week people!

2016 Sec 1 Week 14 Update

Another week and another month has gone by! We’re looking at the first Semesteral or mid-year exams coming on very soon. The first exam is predictably Hindi which is two weeks from now and then towards the end of the month both GG & BB start their school exams.

GG’s week was more stressed out than BB’s. She had practice twice during school and once more on Saturday. Actually they’ve been having practice quite often on Saturdays, but because of her Hindi classes, her school is asking her to come only twice – the two Saturdays before the event. She comes home so tired when she has practice though and then getting up in the morning is a chore for her, but she has been a trooper. I also realise she’s matured faster than BB who still seems a bit silly to me, especially when I compare them (which I try not to do, but sometimes, it does pop in my mind!)
While GG did not too badly for her first series of class tests, she does need to do much better for this mid-year exam if she wants to top her class. I seriously think that topping her class and getting the school award will do wonders for her self-confidence. She suffers from a case of serious exam stress and this was the big reason she didn’t do well at the PSLE exams last year. We didn’t realise how bad this stress was until it was too late and now I need to get rid of it before she sits for her O levels. So an injection of self-confidence will help her a lot.

Her school concert is a day before the Hindi mid-year exams and so she needs to manage time to work on that too. She’ll be back home after the concert close to 11 and then the reporting time for the exam the next day is 7:30 am! The centre is a bit of a drive (approximately 30 mins) from our home, I don’t know how she is going to manage this as she is like me in the sense she needs her sleep or turns grumpy and cranky!

BB on the other hand was super cocky during his term 1 exams and this showed in his results! He actually failed in English Literature and didn’t achieve targets for any subject. In his case, though he does not study in a top school, I have noticed his peers and classmates, all get good scores. Again, if wants to win school and class awards, he really needs to buck up this term and needs to go up a full band for each subject. Hindi is of course going to be the weakest link, and I think I need to step up and especially from next month when I will be at home, which will co-incidentally be during their holidays, I plan to work out an intensive time-table for both of them.

Friday I got a very hesitant message from BB telling me he wanted to tell me something. My mom antenna went up and I immediately called home to speak to him. He told me his Form teacher wanted to speak to me. From the way he spoke, I knew something was wrong and asked him the reason. So the reason he told me was that during CCA on Wednesday, he accidently hurt his classmate with his penknife. They were using that to make balsam wood planes. So I spoke to his teacher and the story was slightly different. According to the teacher, the other boy wanted to see BB’s penknife and BB shouted ‘No’ while pulling it away from him and in the process, the sharp tip hurt the boy. It was apparently a deep cut and required stitches. I was quite upset to hear this. The teacher asked both boys to write an incident report and since their versions differed, he spoke to me. Now the impression I got was the teacher believed the other boy and the reason was he said, “The other boy is a top student and also a student councilor”. I don’t agree with this reason because I firmly believe that just because you are a top student and a school leader does not mean you don’t lie or twist the truth. I am not disbelieving the boy and know BB shoulders more of the blame, but I didn’t like the way the teacher used these words. This kind of reinforces my belief that in this society we live in, it’s just academic excellence which matters and nothing else! Which is very sad as you need all kinds of people in a society and just academic excellence is not a blueprint for a child’s success in life!

Anyway, BB has been asked to do another reflection and the teacher did say this incident will not be escalated and the other boy’s parents also are not pursuing it further, which is a huge relief!

So that was pretty much the children’s week.

In My Hands Today…

The Girl in the Garden – Kamala Nair

The redemptive journey of a young woman unsure of her engagement, who revisits in memory the events of one scorching childhood summer when her beautiful yet troubled mother spirits her away from her home to an Indian village untouched by time, where she discovers in the jungle behind her ancestral house a spellbinding garden that harbors a terrifying secret.

Growing up in Mumbai

Matunga – for any Tambrahm in Mumbai, especially those of a certain age, the very word evokes the feel of home. Sometimes called ‘Mini Madras’, Matunga in what would be some where in the centre of what is the original city (as opposed to the suburbs) was probably the first place the initial immigrants, young, eager, bright and wide-eyed, came to from Dadar station when their trains from the south arrived in Mumbai all ready to conquer the world, with an introduction to perhaps, if they are lucky, to a relative (distant or otherwise), or maybe someone from the same village they belonged to, or even a relative’s relative!

While I am not sure if this is 100% accurate, from what I’ve heard from my parents and grandparents, most young Tamil Brahmin boys and men started arriving in Mumbai (or Bombay as it was called then) somewhere in the early forties, some years before India would finally throw off the yoke of British dominance and become independent.

Both sets of my grandparents arrived in Bombay somewhere in the early to mid-forties, luckier than most as both my grandfathers had an older brother already settled in the city, in Matunga as it were! If I were to probably measure the distance my paternal and maternal grandparents live away from each other, when they first arrived in the city, it should probably be a maximum of 1 km.

Matunga is the heart of the Tamil Brahmin community in Bombay and as such the roads are filled with the sights and sounds of temple bells and the smells of filter coffee and delicious food!

Temples like Bhajana Samaj, Astika Samaj and Sankara Math, shops like Mysore Concerns, Giri Stores and the row of flower sellers in the road outside the post office along with the vegetable sellers who have carts close-by are all hallmarks of the Tamil Brahmin community in Matunga! Who can forget the Ram Navami and Navaratri celebrations in Bhajana Samaj, the Diwali sweets that always were sold in the hall in Sankara Matt, the banana leaf sold by the vegetable vendors during any major festival, the gaggle of priests, outside the temples, the sound of the temple bells and sugarcane stalks just before Pongal?

When their families grew, both sets of my grandparents moved from their family homes and out of Matunga. But they both didn’t’ pull the umbilical cord too much and move far away. Both of them moved another kilometer away from Matunga in opposite directions actually, and that was where my parents were brought up.

So growing up, we lived in another area which was a fifteen minute walk from Matunga, which was in the periphery of our lives, without actually living there. We used to go to Matunga for literally everything and my mum still goes there atleast two to three times a week for her weekly ‘fix’. This area in Bombay is the lifeline for the community and even today when other mini Matungas have sprung up across the city and suburbs – like Chembur, Chedda Nagar, Bangur Nagar, Mulund, Dombivili, Vashi, etc you can still people who have moved away from Matunga come here on weekends to catch-up with family and friends, eat at childhood haunts and buy essentials which you don’t get anywhere else in the city.

Growing up, there was always this disconnect – we were Tamilians, but without the accent which is usually caricatured in movies and television and always had questions on why we needed to wear a bindi on our forehead or flowers in our hair. In my and my sister’s case, it was compounded by the fact we didn’t go to the school that most of our Brahmin friends and relatives went to (which was a school run by a Tamil trust where the language was taught as a second language)!

Growing up also we were quite insular. I would say this with the benefit of hindsight. Every Tamilan I knew at that point in time was a Brahmin – either from one of the districts of Tamil Nadu or from Palakkad (from Kerala who are called Kerala Iyers or Palakkad Brahmins). Where we stayed, while not in Matunga, was in fact another Tamil conclave, with almost all the 30-40 buildings in the area having a sizeable Tambrahm population each. My building had 19 flats and with the exception of 2-3, every flat was a Tambrahm flat! This was pretty much the case (the percentages being slightly more or less, with some exceptions) for the other buildings in the street I lived in. Even in school, my friends who were Tamil were Brahmins. In fact, coming to Singapore with its vast Tamil population was actually a culture shock to me as I had never seen so many people from so many Tamil communities and the temples were the biggest shock – I had not heard of all the different Gods that were worshipped there (all the temples I visited prior to this were my community temples or the other temples in Mumbai)

Since most of the community emigrated to Bombay around 60-80 years back, the dialect of Tamil, we speak is completely different from what is spoken by the community in places like Chennai and Singapore. Bombay Tambrahms have retained the words and cadence of their speech from all those years while communities in Singapore and Chennai have adopted more of the local language. So the Tamil we speak may actually seem strange to those who don’t speak like this! S used to tell me that they used to be made fun of in school when they spoke Brahmin Tamil, which is why his Tamil sounds more like how it is in movies while mine is the one they make fun of in movies!

Writing this post has made me so nostalgic. I think the next time I go to Mumbai, I will try and capture all the sights and sounds of the city so that every time I miss Mumbai, I have these to see and hear! Also this post has made me realise I need to pen down more about my life, so that GG and BB know what that was like….