Poem: Ties that Bind

Last week was the festival of Raksha Bandhan which celebrates the love between brothers and sisters. As usual, GG tied the sacred thread or Rakhi on BB’s right wrist. This year, he kept it for 24 hours whereas in previous years it would barely last a few hours or at the very least overnight. He has also promised GG that next year, she gets to choose the rakhi she wants (this year, he insisted on a very simple one, while GG wanted one which was slightly more grand than what BB chose)

This poem is inspired by the love I see between BB & GG every single day. They can’t go a day without seeing and speaking with each other and last year when they went for their camps and overseas learning journeys, you could actually see the other being antsy. I now wonder how they will go through the two years when BB will enlist for his national service in a couple of years time.

Ties that Bind

A sibling’s love is like that anchor
It’s a bond that lives on forever
They fight, they laugh, but they have each other’s back
It’s the world against them, to the very max

There are few relations as close and loving as the one twins share
It’s a bond even us parents can’t compare

On the special day for brothers and sisters
They reaffirm their love with the sacred thread
He promises to love and protect her always
She promises to love and be there for him all the days

They are true friends for life, truly entwined
Best friends and siblings in the ties that bind

Poem: The Flame

I usually like have scented candles next to me when I am working. The other day, I was daydreaming and suddenly my eyes were arrested by the flickering flame. Inspiration struck and this poem is the result of that.

The Flame

I stare at the flame, fluttering and flickering

The little glow of light that is so mesmerising

I could stare at it for hours and forget the world

Meditate on it, think about the possibilities my mind is aswirled

I watch it flicker as a gust of wind washes by it

But the little flame is not to be deterred, it does not want to quit

It almost dies out, but wait, there’s still life in it

It comes back to life, full and flaming, it has a lot of grit

I see our lives as a parallel to this flame

With troubles gusting over us as the wind does to the flame

But quitting is not an option, because life is not a game

As the flame comes back to life time after time,

So should you overcome your troubles and start your climb

Life is like that flame, it flickers and looks like it may get snuffed out

But overcome obstacles, get up and don’t get knocked out.

Positive Self-Affirmations: Your Psychological Immune System

Source

Sometime last week, I randomly had a thought of putting together all the affirmations I had collected and written down in different places into one document. I truly didn’t know why I did what I did and decided to find out more about affirmations and see whether they have any impact on our lives and if they are beneficial in any way. I have used positive affirmations previously and also have read the book, The Secret, but to be honest, the affirmations did not work for me previously. So I decided to find out more about affirmations and maybe this time, I will be able to successfully use affirmations.

So let’s start at the very beginning – what exactly are positive affirmations? Affirmations which are a New Age terminology are said to be “the practice of positive thinking and self-empowerment—fostering a belief that “a positive mental attitude supported by affirmations will achieve success in anything.” More specifically, an affirmation is a carefully formatted statement that should be repeated to one’s self and written down frequently. For affirmations to be effective, it is said that they need to be present tense, positive, personal and specific.

These ideas grew in popularity after books like Rhonda Bryrne’s The Secret, Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich and Wallace D. Wattles’ 1910 book The Science of Getting Rich became popular in their times. Affirmations are also referred to in Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), Neuro Associative Conditioning “NAC” as popularized by Anthony Robbins, and hypnosis.

What it means is that when we think positively and have positive thoughts relating to a specific event or thing we want, we manage to turn things in our tide using the power of our mind and that specific event happens or we get hold of exactly what we want. In other words, they are positive phrases or statements used to challenge negative or unhelpful thoughts.

A 2009 study found that positive affirmation had a small, positive effect on people with high self-esteem, but a detrimental effect on those with low self-esteem. Individuals with low self-esteem who made positive affirmations felt worse than individuals who made positive statements but were allowed to consider ways in which the statements were false. There have also been some studies which show that when self-affirmation statements which involve writing about one’s core values rather than repeating a positive self-statement can improve performance under stress.

It is said that affirmations are not only for manifesting a specific goal, but they are also meant to encourage a life filled with positivity and gratitude.

We do speak with ourselves in different times during the day, something pepping us up and at other times cursing ourselves when we make a blunder. I tend to be more on the negative side as opposed to the positive side. Daily affirmations are like a psychological immune system. When you get bogged down or thinking negatively, your affirmations will allow you to pick you up and get you back on track.

While researching for this post, I read up a few articles on positive affirmations and saw that, in spite of my scepticism, there are benefits to this practice.

You perform better under stress – positive self-affirmations allow you to release your stress and help you perform better, whether at home, in school or at work.

You are better off psychologically – When someone uses positive affirmations regularly, they tend to feel happier, more optimistic, more hopeful, healthier, less sad and less angry.

Healthy habits – You can also use positive affirmations to change habits. Reminding yourself periodically can help promote a healthier way of living. Apparently a recent study showed that optimistic people have healthier hearts.

Self-Awareness – When you think, speak or write certain thoughts on a daily basis, you become more aware of them and then consciously work to reduce negativity in your life. This allows you to become a more positive person both inward and outwards.

Gratitude – Daily affirmations keep you in a constant state of gratitude. When you remember the small things that make you happy, you become aware of the little things in life that are important. This is especially true today when we live a fast paced life, one that is constantly on our smart phones.

Motivation – Affirmations allow you to motivate yourself into doing positive actions. When you tell yourself you will be successful in a particular activity, then the chances are that you will focus all your attention in making sure you do your best in this activity and be the best you are. Your thoughts point to the direction of your life’s actions.

So how do we go about making positive self-affirmations? You can think about them, repeat a sentence like a mantra while you practice meditation (in fact, I remember reading that meditating over a self-affirmation is a great way to do it), write it down some place or even whisper it under your breath at periodic points in your day. You could do one, more or even all of these during your day to affirm your thought for the day. There is no hard and fast rules about the timing or frequency when it comes to practicing positive self-affirmations.

According to psychotherapist Ronald Alexander of the Open Mind Training Institute, affirmations can be repeated up to three to five times daily to reinforce the positive belief. He suggests that writing your affirmations down in a journal and practicing them in the mirror is a good method for making them more powerful and effective.

You can create your own affirmation phrase which is generic like, “I am a successful person” or “I am confident and capable at what I do” or focus on a specific area of your life like, “I choose only to think good thoughts” or “I choose to eat healthily for all meals.

You can also create your own positive affirmation cards on small credit card sized paper where you write your chosen affirmation and pop it into your bag to read throughout the day. I prefer using an online diary like Google Docs and writing down my affirmations and I can view them while I am working or even during my commute as I whip out my phone and read it on the go.

There are loads of resouces online which have many affirmations you can use or you can create your own affirmations. What works for someone may not be the best affirmation for you, so you need to work around and see what works best for you. I personally feel this is more of a trial and error method.

Positive self-affirmations can be a refreshing way to use positive self-talk capable of reversing negative internal messages and motivating ourselves. Do you have your own affirmations you’d like to share? Or, even better, how do you come up with your own affirmations? Share in the comments, I’d love to hear them!

Poem: Eyes

I have documented my issues with my eyes previously and that’s when I really realised how much we depend on our eyes in our daily activities.

At its peak, when I was scared that I would not be able to see from that eye anymore, I was tourtured by the thought that I will never be able to see my children or my loved ones again or even this beautiful world we have.

So here’s today’s poem in honour of the importance our eyes have for us.

Eyes

The first thing we do when we wake up

And the last thing we do when we end the day, tired and yawning

Is to open or shut our eyes, our window to the world

Our eyes show us this beautiful world

Let us know the love that shines in the eyes of the ones we loved

We use it all day, every day

Until its an automatic gesture, missing it only when it gets in disarray

So make sure you take care of your eyes

You only have a pair till you die

Otherwise, you may fall into despair and regret

At that point, there’s nothing to do but fume and fret!

Memories: The time I repeated Junior KG

Do memories become stronger as you grow old? I wonder about this because these days I have been thinking about my childhood a lot. So here’s another memory for your reading pleasure plus for me to browse when I am old and probably senile.

A small background before I start – when I was young, I remember my dad telling me that our area was designed to be an educational hub when the city of Bombay was being expanded. So if you draw a circle of around 2 km diameter around my home, you will find many educational institutions like schools, colleges and even higher educational institutions. This includes my dad’s alma mater as well as the school me and my sister went to.

This memory is around the time I was about three years old. Since we had many schools in our vicinity, it’s quite usual to see students on their way to school in the mornings. Growing up, there were many people around my age group (give or take five years) in my building and when I was around three years old, they were all in school too. My mum was handling me and my sister who was a toddler around that time. We also had a fulltime mum’s helper named Maria who would come in the mornings and go back in the evenings and her main job was to help my mum look after two young children and play with me. Maria stayed with us for about two years and then left as she was getting married. By then I started formal school and my sister was also slightly older so my mum was able to manage without a helper.

When I used to see my friends go to school and also see all the children going to school from our home, I also decided that I wanted to go to school. However, the school my mum had decided for me would only take me in for Kindergarten 1 at the age of four which was still a year away. I have spoken more about the discussions and arguments my mum and grandmother had in deciding the school I would attend in a previous post.

I started throwing mega tantrums about going to school and used to create a ruckus at home because I wanted to go to school. Exasperated, my parents decided to send me to a school which was literally next door. This school would allow me to get into Kindergarten 1 or Junior KG as it was known in Bombay then. So I started going to school and was thrilled. I think I started school after the formal term had started because I don’t remember wearing the school’s uniform and used to wear my normal clothes to school. Most days, it used to be either my mum or Maria who would take me to school around 8:30 – 9 am and bring me back around lunchtime.

I must have been a model student there because the teacher who used teach me remembered me right around the time I was in college and would ask my mum about me when she met her on the streets. I used to be so touched when my mum used to tell me about her encounters with the teacher. Someone who in her career has taught thousands of students who pass through her class still remembers this one girl who was so determined to go to school, even though she was there in her class for less than a year. I actually have no memories about this teacher and don’t remember her name or even face.

So this is how I repeated Junior KG!