In My Hands Today…

You Suck at Cooking: The Absurdly Practical Guide to Sucking Slightly Less at Making Food – You Suck at Cooking

Do you crave food all the time? Do you think you might want to eat again in the future? Do you suck at cooking? Inspired by the wildly popular YouTube channel, these 60+ recipes will help you suck slightly less

You already know the creator of the YouTube show You Suck at Cooking by his well-manicured hands and mysterious voice, and now you’ll know him for this equally well-manicured and mysterious tome. It contains more than sixty recipes for beginner cooks and noobs alike, in addition to hundreds of paragraphs and sentences, as well as photos and drawings.

You’ll learn to cook with unintimidating ingredients in dishes like Broccoli Cheddar Quiche Cupcake Muffin-Type Things, Eddie’s Roasted Red Pepper Dip (while also learning all about Eddie’s sad, sad life), Jalapeno Chicken, and also other stuff. In addition, there are cooking tips that can be applied not only to the very recipes in this book, but also to recipes outside of this book, and to all other areas of your life (with mixed results).

In the end, you just might suck slightly less at cooking.*

*Results not guaranteed

A Parent’s Guide to National Service: What My Son’s Journey Taught Me

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re a parent with a son about to enlist, or you’re someone who just wants to understand what National Service really looks like behind the uniforms, the acronyms and the countless rumours floating around online. When my son enlisted, I searched desperately for honest, grounded stories. I wanted to know what he might feel, how he might cope, and what camp life really looked like. Most of what I found was either too dramatic or too vague to be helpful.

So now that he’s completed his two years and had a largely positive, growth-filled experience, I wanted to put together the article I wish someone had written for me. To write this, I sat down with BB and asked him everything. What helped, what scared him, what changed him and what he wishes every parent knew. His answers shaped this entire piece.

Pre Enlistment
In the days leading up to enlistment, he told me he felt both nervous and excited. Not exactly a surprise, but hearing it in his own words reminded me that at 18 or 19, or even 20, big emotions show up quietly. He said he didn’t have strong expectations about NS, which is probably the healthiest way to enter something everyone has an opinion about.

His main worries were simple but real: Would he adapt? Would the physical demands overwhelm him? Would he cope?

I remember worrying about the same things, except with the added layer of parental imagination. The truth is, adapting to NS is almost universal; boys who start out unsure usually settle in within days. And while the physical training is demanding, the system is designed to condition them, not break them. He didn’t have a list of items he regretted packing or wished he knew beforehand, a reminder that sometimes parents over-prepare while the boys just take things as they come.

Enlistment Day
Every parent I’ve spoken to remembers enlistment day like a blur. The neat queues, the happy-sad families, the brisk announcements. My son doesn’t remember much of the briefing, except that when we said goodbye, he felt a small sadness knowing he wouldn’t see us for about two weeks. Those first hours shocked him in a good way. He said he didn’t expect to connect so quickly with the guys around him. Within a few hours, he had discovered how much they all had in common. It’s funny, they go in strangers, but almost instantly they form their own tribe.

Basic Military Training
I thought he would talk endlessly about the physical strain, the field camp, the discipline, the new routines. But what stood out most was how tiring the constant physical training became, especially around the halfway mark.

What surprised him? How easily he adapted to the daily schedule. The structure, the routine, the predictability, iit all became normal quickly. What helped him cope, he said, was the reminder that BMT was only a small part of NS. This perspective made the tough moments manageable. As a parent, this was something I wish someone had told me, most boys don’t crumble under pressure; they adjust faster than we expect.

His commanders also played a huge role. He described them as encouraging, present, and willing to spend time with the recruits after hours, even when they didn’t have to. Often, the people make or break BMT, and he was lucky to be surrounded by leaders who cared.

If he had to choose three words to describe BMT, he picked: Fun. Exhausting. Interesting. Honestly, I don’t think anyone can summarise it better.

Vocation
When he first received his posting as an Armour Technician, he admitted he felt a bit apprehensive. He had read online that the experience could be tough. The internet isn’t always kind, and NS forums are a special beast of their own.

But once training began, everything shifted. The pace was slower, the trainers were patient, and safety was emphasised even more strongly. And the environment felt more focused and hands-on.

He enjoyed the practical work, even when it was physically demanding. Working inside and around armoured vehicles isn’t the glamorous part of the army, but it’s the backbone. He described days spent using a wide variety of tools, coordinating tasks with his team and making sure maintenance was done properly, not just quickly. What surprised him most was how tiring it could be to work inside vehicles for long periods. It’s cramped, it’s warm, and it requires focus. But he liked being part of something technical and tangible.

The regulars he worked with left a strong impression on him. Not because they were strict, but because they were hardworking, committed and often stayed back to meet deadlines even when the NSF guys could book out. He saw responsibility up close, not as an idea, but as a lived example.

Growth You Don’t Notice Until You Do
One of my favourite parts of our conversation was when he told me that NS made him more confident working with others. He described moments on the train home, looking at younger boys in school uniforms and quietly realising how much he had changed. He had become more independent, more assertive, more willing to take responsibility. Parents often hear these words thrown around, but there’s something different when it comes from your own child. You realise NS didn’t just take time, it gave something back.

Routine, Mental Health and the Quiet Rhythm of NS Life
I thought he might talk about burnout or emotional fatigue, but his description sounded surprisingly balanced. The long days were manageable because there were breaks. The monotony was broken by conversations with friends. When he felt overwhelmed, rest helped more than anything: rest after work, rest on weekends, rest during book-outs.

He said the thing he missed most was the freedom to be with family and friends. That tug between camp life and home life is something every NSF feels. And yes, weekend book-outs were “quite important”, which is teenage understatement for “absolutely essential for sanity.”

The Social Side
He described the workshop culture as relaxed but responsible. A soft balance between humour and deadlines. He felt supported by peers and sergeants alike, and he never felt left out, something many parents quietly worry about.

On boring or long days, they passed the time talking about random things or just resting together in the office. It reminded me that joy in NS is simple: conversation, shared struggles, inside jokes and the comfort of knowing someone else understands exactly what you’re going through.

Safety, Workload and What Parents Really Want to Know
Like most parents, I worried about safety. He reassured me that open reporting was taken seriously. If something looked unsafe, they said it, and people listened. He also won a couple of awards for safety, which he was quite proud of.

Some maintenance work could get stressful, especially tasks involving heavy tools like sledgehammers, but that stress came from the nature of the job, not from negligence or pressure.

He also said something every parent needs to hear: The workload is far less than people imagine. Preventive maintenance keeps things running smoothly, and the Hollywood image of “army life = nonstop chaos” is largely inaccurate.

His biggest takeaway? NS isn’t just being a foot soldier. There are countless roles, each with depth, skill and purpose.

Operation Wallaby
Operation Wallaby was one of the highlights of his NS journey. It’s the kind of overseas exercise most boys talk about for years. He described it as a final test of everything they’d learned, tiring, hectic and packed with more vehicles than usual, but manageable with good time management.

It was also the longest period he’d ever spent away from home. That distance, that independence, that daily grind in a foreign setting, it shapes them in ways small daily routines never can.

The Bigger Picture
When I asked him what NS ultimately gave him, he said it gave him stability and a chance to mature. The experience was worth two years, and he would redo his vocational training in a heartbeat because it was fun and informative.

For a teenager enlisting soon, he had simple advice: “Go with the flow and make your own fun”. Straightforward, but spot-on.

For parents, his message was even more comforting: “Your children are extremely well taken care of, and they’ll come out more mature”. That is exactly the reassurance I had wished for two years ago.

Operationally Ready NSMan
The day he completed his service, he felt both relieved and a little sad. No one tells you that ORD can feel bittersweet, yes, it’s freedom, but it’s also the end of a shared chapter with people who saw you at your best, worst and sweatiest.

Post-ORD life feels lighter. No more 8–10 hour camp days. No more last-minute tasks. But he secretly misses the interactions with his fellow NSFs. What doesn’t he miss? BMT. One round was enough.

He believes NS will help him in future group work and professional settings. He’s more assertive now and more comfortable collaborating, skills that matter everywhere.

So, What Should Parents Take Away From This?
If you’re preparing to send your son off to NS, here’s what I wish someone had told me:

  1. They adapt faster than you expect. Even the quietest, gentlest boys find their footing.
  2. The commanders truly care. BB’s experience was filled with supportive leaders who treated him with respect.
  3. Camp life isn’t as intimidating as it sounds. Most days are structured, calm and manageable.
  4. They grow in ways you only notice later. Independence and confidence don’t appear overnight; they build slowly and steadily.
  5. Weekends matter. A lot. Not just for rest, but for emotional grounding.
  6. They come out stronger, steadier and more self-aware. And they often surprise themselves.

Closing Thoughts
National Service is a shared journey, not just for the boys, but for families too. As parents, we’ll worry, we’ll search for answers, and we’ll imagine the worst. But more often than not, our sons will come out of NS kinder, more disciplined and more capable than when they went in. My son’s experience wasn’t dramatic or traumatic. It was steady, meaningful, human and ultimately positive. And that’s exactly the kind of story I want other parents to find when they start Googling late at night, wondering what lies ahead.

In My Hands Today…

Lords of Earth and Sea: A History of the Chola Empire – Anirudh Kanisetti

The great empire of the Cholas was unexpected. It sprouted out of the blue in the Kaveri floodplain around 850 CE. Till then, the region had for centuries been dotted by self-governing village assemblies. From here, the Cholas established a vast empire, the first – and only – time an empire based in coastal South India was the dominant power of the a perch usually occupied by the Deccan or northern India.

The Cholas were as creative and imaginative as they were unexpected. They built stupendous temples – the tallest freestanding structures on earth after the pyramids of Egypt. Chola queens popularized new forms of gods and worship, such as the iconic Nataraja and the singing of Tamil poems to deities. And they were spectacularly daring, raiding not just the powerful Deccan and North India but also Southeast Asia and Sri Lanka. For a dynasty that was so influential – and is so loved today – its actual historical achievements were surprisingly forgotten by the late nineteenth century, for they had faded into myth and legend.

In this book, the award-winning historian Anirudh Kanisetti brings to life the world of the Cholas. Not just the world of kings and queens attended by generals and ‘service retinue’ women – but the stories of the ‘little people’, whose lives were buffeted by big events. What was life like on board a merchant vessel making its way from the Tamil coast to Southeast Asia and China? What kind of food was served at temples to devotees and to soldiers in times of war? What became of a landless peasant who murdered his brother in a fit of rage? Why did a noble woman commit sati holding a lemon over her head? Based on thousands of inscriptions and hundreds of secondary sources, this deeply researched book is not just a procession of dazzling kings and queens but also a portal that transports us to the peasant settlements of over a thousand years ago. In this book, Kanisetti crucially separates fact from fiction and tells us one of the most extraordinary stories in human history.
Genres
History
Nonfiction
Indian Literature

Mumbai Memories: Calling Her by Name

Tamil kinship terminology is among the most nuanced in the world, distinguishing not only between maternal and paternal relatives but also between older and younger siblings, in-laws, and even parallel and cross cousins. Within this system, “manni” specifically denotes the wife of an elder brother. Other names are Anna, who is the older brother; chitappa, your father’s younger brother or your mother’s younger sister’s husband; and chitti, the wife of your father’s younger brother or your mother’s younger sister. Athai is your father’s sister, and Athimber is her husband. “Athimber” could also refer to the husband of your older sister. The use of these terms is not arbitrary but is deeply embedded in the social fabric, reinforcing respect, hierarchy, and the roles expected of each family member.

The “manni” traditionally occupies a unique position. She is often seen as a secondary maternal figure to her husband’s younger siblings, especially in large joint families. The respect accorded to her is both a reflection of her status as the wife of the eldest son and a recognition of her role in maintaining familial harmony and upholding traditions.

In the patriarchal structure of Tamil Brahmin families, the use of kinship terms such as “manni” is a way of codifying respect and maintaining the social order. The elder brother’s wife is, by her position, to be respected, and the term “manni” is both an acknowledgement of her seniority and a subtle reinforcement of the family hierarchy. This practice also reflects gendered expectations. While the elder brother commands respect as “Anna,” his wife, as “Manni,” is expected to embody dignity, authority, and nurturing, often mediating between the younger siblings and the older generation.

Tamil Brahmin families, especially the Iyers and Iyengars, have historically been fastidious about ritual purity and the correct observance of customs. The use of proper kinship terms was, and in some cases still is, considered part of this ritual correctness. Addressing the elder brother’s wife by her name, rather than as “manni,” could be seen as a breach of decorum, potentially undermining the carefully maintained social order.

However, the latter part of the 20th century saw significant social and economic changes. Urbanisation, the rise of nuclear families, and increased exposure to cosmopolitan values began to erode the rigid hierarchies of the past. As families became smaller and more egalitarian, the need to maintain strict forms of address diminished. Younger generations, influenced by modern education and global culture, began to prioritise individual identity and personal relationships over traditional roles.

My mother’s paternal family is large, and as I have mentioned previously, they lived in a joint family for years before each brother moved out. Even though they moved out, the old joint family home was still the family headquarters, and connections between cousins were very tight. Also, as most tambram families were in the sixties and seventies in Mumbai, they were still conservative and held on tightly to their rituals and culture, especially with the second generation, who were, for the most part, born and lived in the bustling metropolis that Bombay was becoming.

In this context, and this is something I only realised recently, was the fact that none of the cousins called their brother’s wives “Manni.” Instead, they used her given name. Growing up, I thought this was normal and never gave it a second thought. But when I thought about this recently, I thought this was something so liberal and progressive. None of the older generation objected to this, and I am guessing none of the new brides, especially the first one, insisted on being called “manni!” And this percolated to how I perceived relationship nomenclature.

When I got married, S’s younger sister called me “Manni” and still calls me that, even after all these years, even though I told her to call me by my given name. Some of S’s cousins started by calling me manni and then shifted to my given name, while some others call me akka, which means older sister. I am ok with either “manni,” my name, or akka, as I believe at the end of the day, it’s the respect that’s more important, rather than what you are called.

Addressing sisters-in-law by name, rather than as “manni,” can be seen as a subtle but powerful assertion of equality. It signals a move away from rigid hierarchies and towards relationships based on mutual respect and personal connection.

Tamil Brahmin identity has undergone a profound transformation over the past century. Once defined by strict adherence to ritual, vegetarianism, and caste-based hierarchies, the community has become increasingly cosmopolitan, embracing modernity and global values. The decline of practices such as addressing the elder brother’s wife as “manni” is part of this broader shift. Women in Tamil Brahmin families have played a crucial role in this transformation. As they gained access to education and employment, their roles within the family and society changed dramatically. The authority of the “manni” was no longer derived solely from her position as the elder brother’s wife but from her own achievements and personality.

Ultimately, the choice of how to address a sister-in-law is a personal one, shaped by family dynamics, individual preferences, and broader social trends. What matters most is the quality of the relationship, not the form of address.

2025 Week 48 Update

Known for writing and speaking on spirituality, personal growth, and principles rooted in Eastern philosophies, this quote by Sham Hinduja explains karma in a simple, grounded way. Karma isn’t about cosmic punishment or reward; it’s about understanding that every action has a consequence. What you put into the world eventually circles back to you, not necessarily in a dramatic or mystical sense, but in a very practical one.

When you act with kindness, integrity, or generosity, you shape an environment that tends to return those qualities to you over time. Likewise, negative actions, whether rooted in anger, fear, or selfishness, set off reactions that create difficulty down the road. Karma encourages self-awareness. It reminds you that your choices carry weight and that your thoughts, words, and behaviour quietly build the future you’ll one day walk into.

It’s also a call to responsibility. Instead of blaming luck or fate, the law of karma shifts the focus inward: what am I contributing? What patterns am I creating? How might my actions today ripple into tomorrow? This perspective gives you more control over your life, because it shows that every moment is an opportunity to sow something better.

This week was a very hectic week for me, so it flew past! The children were busy with their lives, so altogether, though we didn’t do much, it felt like the week started and ended almost immediately! As the children get older and busier with their lives, I feel that I know less about their lives than when they were younger. Earlier this week, Facebook reminded me about their kindergarten graduation with photos, and they looked so young and so full of enthusiasm for their new lives in primary school. Sigh! How time flies!!

Today’s motivation is about fresh starts. It’s never too late to make a fresh start. Each day brings new opportunities. Take a moment to stop, breathe, and set an intention to start fresh every day. Don’t let yesterday’s disappointments ruin today. Create space for more joy. Today, you have a chance to try again and to look at things in a different way. When you live fully in the present, you feel more empowered to embrace opportunities to do something you never expected. Focus on the good things you can do in the present moment.

That’s all I have for you this week. Stay positive, keep smiling, and remember that it’s never too late to make a fresh start!