2022 Week 08 Update

It’s been a week now since R has gone back to India and I am slowly getting into a routine of managing the housework, cooking, work and writing. But in all this, my meditation and walking seem to have suffered the most. This month, I have not walked as much as I usually do, so I am sure my steps this month will be highly impacted. But next week is a new month and the chance to redo things, so that will be my restart for my steps and my meditation.

My parents are now more or less settled in their new home and say they are far busier here than they were in Mumbai. With the stress of cooking and cleaning taken care of, they can focus more on making my father better. Also, our previous flat was on the third floor of a walk-up building and so my father, who has Parkinson’s, was unable to walk which is now easily possible because they are on the second floor of a building which has a lift. They have a nurse on-site and any potential medical problems will be easily dealt with. This is such a huge relief for my sister and me.

Singapore is firmly in the grip of the Omicron wave and all we can do is stay masked and sanitise our hands whenever we go out. But if fingers crossed, we do get infected, we know now that since we are all triple vaccinated, we will not be impacted so much. It will be, hopefully, as bad as a bad cold, and we will come out of this healthy.

Today’s quote comes from the American talk show host, television producer, actress, author, and philanthropist, Oprah Winfrey who is best known for her talk show, The Oprah Winfrey Show. She says the greatest lesson of life is that you are responsible for your life. When we think about it, this is so true and resonates with me. I know I am responsible for everything that happens, both good and bad, and so I need to work to make sure that more good things are happening in my life as opposed to the bad.

So, signing off this week with the usual caution of staying safe, staying masked and getting vaccinated if you are not already.

2022 Week 07 Update

I’ve been back in Singapore for a week now and this week, R, my helper went to India. She had already planned on the trip, but because her father suddenly took a turn for the worse, she decided to leave as soon as she could. But unfortunately for her, the day after she booked her ticket, he father suddenly passed away. She was distraught, but could not leave earlier because the airline didn’t fly daily and she needed to do PCR tests and other formalities before she leaves.

Luckily for her, when some of her relatives wanted to cremate her father immediately, her son, cousin and brother-in-law took a stand and kept the body in a morgue till she reached and the cremation took place the day after she landed in India. I felt sorry for her because she so wanted to meet her father and get her son married in his presence, but life had other goals for her. Now, she will come back after a couple of months once she gets her son married and settled. Until then, we are on our own. It’s a good learning period for all of us, especially GG & BB as they will learn valuable life skills in this period.

Speaking of whom, they are currently having their end of the semester exams which should end by the end of the month. GG will have a week’s break and then start her internship while BB gets to enjoy his holiday. His industrial attachment will be in his last semester before he gets called up to do his National Service. He has also gotten called up for his NS medical exam which will happen soon.

This week’s quote is about utilising opportunities and is credited to the American actor and comedian, Milton Berle. He reminds us that if opportunity doesn’t knock, we should build a door and do all that we can to ensure that we are available when the opportunity comes calling.

Stay safe everyone and talk soon! 

2022 Week 06 Update

Hello from Singapore! I am finally back from my three week holiday in India. It has been a hectic three weeks, but it was so worth it. I got to not only meet my parents after 2 years but also helped them close their home in Mumbai and shift to a senior retirement community in Bengaluru. I know it would have been very hard for them to do it themselves and I am happy that I could help them out.

Here in Bengaluru, I also got to meet relatives and cousins, some of whom I had not met in years, so that was another plus. But now I am back home and will go back to my usual routine of meditation and walking which I had missed while in India.

Ever since I landed in India, Omicron cases have been increasing in Singapore. We’ve been getting more than 10,000 cases daily. India’s cases on the other hand seem to be dropping after a peak in the third week of January.

Today’s quote is something that the American author, coach, speaker, and philanthropist Tony Robbins has said. Robbins who is is known for his infomercials, seminars, and self-help books reminds us that our past does not equal our future. Simple, to the point and something we all tend to forget most of the time. So forget what you did yesterday, focus on today and tomorrow.

And with that, bye from me for this week!

2022 Week 04 Update

Hello once again from Mumbai. Here’s a gorgeous sunrise from our building terrace. I have been so busy the past week, I don’t have much time to walk. So I have been trying to walk at least 40-50 minutes each morning since I usually do wake up pretty early. There’s a lovely nip in the air and in the week I have been the temperature have been hovering between 15-20 degrees Celcius which, for those who know Mumbai is very unusual, especially for this time of the year. Mumbai usually gets a cold spell sometime in December, usually between Christmas and the New Year, but this cold spell has been chilly and most days I wear a light cardigan and a shawl to cover my ears when I am walking. But the air quality in Mumbai is really bad, the result of a dust storm in the middle east and India’s western border areas which were pushed to Mumbai via the winds and the Arabian Sea. Hopefully, the air quality gets better soon because some days I can smell the smoke and have problems breathing.

This week, I did get a text message and then a call from the local authorities asking me to first stay home for a week and then asking me if I had any symptoms. From this, I understand that the information we share on the Air Suvidha portal is not fully shared with the local authorities because the person I spoke to didn’t know that I was fully vaccinated.

Today’s quote comes to us courtesy of the English novelist, poet, journalist, translator and one of the leading writers of the Victorian era, George Eliot whose real name was Mary Ann Evans. This quote tells that it’s never too late to come into your true self. Many a time, we don’t do what we want to do because we are concerned we are too old, too young and too busy. But according to Eliot, that’s not true, we can do anything and everything we want to do until we are probably dead.

That’s all from me this week. Stay safe, stay masked and get vaccinated. Till next week, goodbye from Mumbai!

Pet Peeves: Small irritations that can really annoy

You are in a restaurant or café and suddenly the person at the table next to you starts eating their food with loud noises. You instantly get triggered and irritated. That’s a pet peeve!

So what is a pet peeve? A pet peeve, pet aversion, or pet hate is a minor annoyance that an individual finds particularly irritating to them, to a greater degree than would be expected based on the experience of others. Pet peeves aren’t things that are so inappropriate and rude that they necessarily warrant taking action, but they’re generally bothersome in a way that will make one roll their eyes in frustration. While pet peeves are essentially trivial, hence the name, they are an evolutionary remnant of human beings’ survival skills. The feeling one gets when they are peeved was the body’s way of alerting a person to danger in the past, that something is wrong, triggering a flight response. They’re not as life-threatening anymore in modern society, but the discomfort remains.

The noun peeve, meaning an annoyance, is believed to have originated in the United States early in the twentieth century, derived by back-formation from the adjective peevish, meaning “ornery or ill-tempered”, which dates from the late 14th century. The term pet peeve was introduced to a wide readership in the single-panel comic strip The Little Pet Peeve in the Chicago Tribune during the period 1916–1920 and was created by the cartoonist Frank King, who also created the long-running Gasoline Alley strip. King’s “little pet peeves” were humorous critiques of generally thoughtless behaviours and nuisance frustrations.

In their book Annoying: The Science of What Bugs Us, Joe Palca and Florence Lichtman explore the history of research behind pet peeves. According to the authors, the three U’s are how we identify annoyances. The three Us are Unpleasant, which is the annoying stimulus is something we don’t like, Unpredictable because we have no way of determining when the annoying stimulus will happen and Uncertain Duration because it is repetitive and will continue for an indefinite amount of time.

The three types of annoyances are social annoyances which are caused by the violation of social norms, environmental annoyances which come from the sounds and smells of our environment and interpersonal annoyances that are caused by individuals around us, especially those with interact with frequently.

But why do we become annoyed in the first place? The truth is science hasn’t quite figured it out. According to some scientists, it could be a remnant of the evolutionary response where our brains are shocked into a focus mode when we become annoyed and we become more aware of our surroundings and pay greater attention to the stimulus that is annoying us which is nature’s way of protecting us, something that ancient man needed more than today’s humans.

Everyone has some pet peeve or the other and here is a compilation of some of the most irritating habits that trigger most people and includes some of my pet peeves.

  • Loud chewing, people chewing with their mouths open or generally making any noises while eating.
  • Chronic lateness. As someone who is always on time, this tells me that my time is not as important as theirs. Of course, sometimes things happen, but if they don’t let me know they are late, it is even more irritating.
  • People who shuffle their feet while walking
  • The screeching of fingernails on a blackboard.
  • People who block the entrance to the train or bus and do not allow others to board or alight.
  • Those who cough or sneeze without covering their mouths.
  • People that clip their nails at work, while sitting at their desks.
  • People who walk slowly or stop suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk.
  • People who cut queues. This is not an issue in Singapore, but when I am in India, this makes me want to grit my teeth in frustration.
  • People who take ages to get through airport security and don’t know the rules even today.
  • People who stand on the left side of an escalator. Right is for standing! Left for walking!
  • Misspelling my name when it’s right there in the email staring you in the face.
  • Online stores that charge for shipping.
  • People who talk over you when you’re still in the middle of the sentence.
  • Passive-aggressive behaviour. If you have something you want to say, just say it.
  • People on public transport who will not use their headphones and instead choose to let the whole bus or train carriage their choice of music or personal conversations.
  • When people repeatedly hit the elevator button, as if that’ll make the elevator arrive sooner.
  • The reply-all that asks to be taken off of an email thread.
  • Receiving emails from a colleague with the boss copied.
  • People who abbreviate things that don’t need to be shortened.
  • Excessive public displays of affection.
  • Micro-Management at work
  • Staring at someone’s Phone
  • Standing too close to another person.
  • Talking to someone who has headphones on
  • Cracking knuckles.
  • Pushy salespeople and especially those salespeople who accost you while one is walking.
  • Being constantly pessimistic.
  • Looking at the phone during a conversation.
  • Leaving the toilet seat up.

In a perfect world, everyone would be mindful of their actions and habits not to be annoying. Sadly, some people don’t care about others and continue with their irritating ways. Instead of perpetually complaining, there are measures you can do to keep pet peeves from affecting your mood and disposition. The first thing you can do is admit what is bothersome. Being in denial and dismissive about what’s wrong will only delay the inevitable anger and frustration. It’s better to take the bull by the horns and be honest, even if it’s with yourself. Next, you can address the source of the pet peeve and open the lines of communication. This is important if the person who annoys you is someone you live or work closely with. Remember to be kind and polite when telling them. Sometimes, people are unaware of their quirks and are willing to accommodate your request. Lastly, you can choose to accept the situation that you can’t control everything. Take deep breaths when it happens or remove yourself from the area. Don’t let a simple pet peeve ruin your day.

So what are your pet peeves? Did they make my list?