Poetry: Happy New Year

Like most of the poetry I write, this too came by unbidden while I was writing my reflections for 2020 and resolutions for 2021. While I have made my new year resolutions, we are still living in an uncertian world and I for one, am hopeful that 2021 will be a much better year for all of us.

Happy New Year

Out with the old, in with the new
Isnt that how we greet a new year anew?

2021 stretches before us, like a blank piece of paper
A new beginning, a chance to get our act together
Resolutions are made and promises sworn as we cheer
Learning from past mistakes, we vow to do better this year

2020 was a tough year for sure as we all know
We’ve still not come out of the woods, the process will be long and slow
But the end of the year did bring some good news
Maybe this will chase off the year-end blues

My hope for 2021 is just this wish, small but true
May all your dreams come true, find hope and peace in all that you do
May the year be the one where you shine like a star
Win that war inside yourself, be a superstar

My wish for 2021 is that our world goes back to a semblance of normal
We are able to meet our loved ones and life again becomes dull
Here’s wishing you all loads of happiness, peace and much more
Happy New Year and peace and joy more than you have ever known before!

2021 Week 01 Update

The world looked in horror this week as scenes from the storming of the Capitol building in Washington were flashed across television screens and social media. The bastion of democracy was being stormed and this does not bode too well for the world. Hopefully, the incoming administration takes cognizance and action and arrests and sentences the perpetuators of this assault.

The week for us was the start of the work week for 2021. BB started school and will go pretty much every day for in-person lessons while GG still is on home-based learning and will go back to school only once a week. She is pretty frustrated and hopes that when the new semester starts in April, she also will get to go back to school on a daily basis.

In the latest COVID-19 numbers, the world has now seen nearly 90 million cases and as in previous weeks, the US leads with more than 22 million positive cases and India comes at number two with 10.5 million cases, followed by Brazil with 8 million cases. As with last week, Singapore had quite a few days with double digit cases and days with more than one case in the community, though the dormitories are pretty safe these days, due to increased testing.

To distract us from all this negativity in the world, here is today’s positive thought.

Take care people and stay safe, stay masked and get vaccinated as soon as you can!

In My Hands Today…

The Nancy Pelosi Way: Advice on Success, Leadership, and Politics from America’s Most Powerful Woman – Christine Pelosi

In this personal and important book Christine Pelosi takes a close look at how her mother went from homemaker to Speaker of the House of Representatives and became the most powerful female politician in America. Her book addresses Speaker Pelosi’s role in current events, and offers advice on politics, family, and friendship gleaned from her mother’s life.

From her childhood in Baltimore to her hands-on motherhood in San Francisco to her national leadership, this book demonstrates how a mother of five and grandmother of nine achieved her success. Chapters include: Know Your Power Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance Know Your Authentic Self Claim Your Seat at the Table Build Strategic Alliances Don’t Agonize, Organize And more. In 2007, Nancy Pelosi became the highest-ranking elected female government official in US history when she started her tenure as Speaker of the House of Representatives. In January 2019, she began her third term as Speaker during a tumultuous time in American political history. Having represented San Francisco for thirty-two years, she has become well-known for her work to expand health care, lift up workers, protect the environment, promote human rights, and make progress for the American people regardless of the president in the White House or the party controlling Congress.

Schadenfreude: The Joy at Another’s Misfortune

The Japanese have a saying: “The misfortune of others tastes like honey.” The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer called schadenfreude “an infallible sign of a thoroughly bad heart and profound moral worthlessness”, the worst trait in human nature.

We all feel happy when our favourite team wins and gloat at the other team. In an India-Pakistan cricket match, when India wins, you usually get to hear and see crackers burst with loats of gloating and I am sure it is pretty much the same on the other side when India loses a match.

There is a word for this feeling – a German word, schadenfreude which literally translates to harm-joy and is the experience of pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction that comes from learning of or witnessing the troubles, failures, or humiliation of another. Schadenfreude is a complex emotion where, rather than feeling sympathy, one takes pleasure from watching someone’s misfortune. This emotion is displayed more in children than adults, but adults also experience schadenfreude, although generally we are able to conceal it.

I read about this word and was absolutely fascinated by it. So I decided to read up more about and the meaning behind the word.

As human beings, we know how to enjoy failures. Enjoying other people’s misfortunes might sound simple – a mere glint of malice, a flick of spite. But look closer and you’ll glimpse some of the most hidden yet important parts of our lives. We feel a sense of glee at someone’s incompetence, a self-righteous satisfaction when hypocrites are exposed and the inner triumph of seeing a rival falter. Sometimes it is easy to share our delight, but far harder to acknowledge are those spasms of relief which accompany the bad news of our successful friends and relatives. They come involuntarily, these confusing bursts of pleasure, swirled through with shame. And they worry us – not just because we fear that our lack of compassion says something terrible about us – because they point so clearly to our envy and inferiority, and how we clutch at the disappointments of others in order to feel better about our own.

Source

Researchers have found that there are three driving forces behind schadenfreude: aggression, rivalry, and social justice. Self-esteem has a negative relationship with the frequency and intensity of schadenfreude experienced by an individual; individuals with less self-esteem tend to experience schadenfreude more frequently and intensely. The reverse also holds true—those with higher self-esteem experience schadenfreude less frequently or with less emotional intensity. It is hypothesised that this inverse relationship is mediated through the human psychological inclination to define and protect their self – and in-group identity or self-conception.

Specifically, for someone with high self-esteem, seeing another person fail may still bring them a small, but effectively negligible surge of confidence because the observer’s high self-esteem significantly lowers the threat they believe the visibly-failing human poses to their status or identity. Since this confident individual perceives that, regardless of circumstances, the successes and failures of the other person will have little impact on their own status or well-being, they have very little emotional investment in how the other person fares, be it positive or negative. Conversely, for someone with low self-esteem, someone who is more successful poses a threat to their sense of self, and seeing this mighty person fall can be a source of comfort because they perceive a relative improvement in their internal or in-group standing.

Aggression-based schadenfreude primarily involves group identity. The joy of observing the suffering of others comes from the observer’s feeling that the other’s failure represents an improvement or validation of their own group’s (in-group) status in relation to external (out-groups) groups. This is, essentially, schadenfreude based on group versus group status. Rivalry-based schadenfreude is individualistic and related to interpersonal competition and arises from a desire to stand out from and out-perform one’s peers. This is schadenfreude based on another person’s misfortune eliciting pleasure because the observer now feels better about their personal identity and self-worth, instead of their group identity. Justice-based schadenfreude comes from seeing that behavior seen as immoral or bad is punished. It is the pleasure associated with seeing a bad person being harmed or receiving retribution and schadenfreude is experienced because it makes people feel that fairness has been restored for a previously un-punished wrong.

Today schadenfreude is all around us. It’s there in the way we do and view politics, how we treat celebrities, in online fail videos. Today it is probably easily felt and shared compared to earlier times. Most of us have a sense of unease while experiencing schadenfreude, but we squash it down firmly while enjoying yet another article or video about the failure of someone else, and if it is someone we don’t know, like a politician or celebrity, it somehow makes it ok. And if the suffering is because of something they said or did and is a comeuppance, it makes us feel justified as if they deserved whatever happened to them. But what about when we misjudge people? Those are the times our schadenfreude leaves feeling ackward and slightly upset at ourselves.

There has been an explosion of research. Before 2000, barely any academic articles were published with the word schadenfreude in their title, but now even a cursory search throws up hundreds, from neuroscience to philosophy to management studies. What is driving all this interest? No doubt it is partly motivated by our attempts to understand life in the internet age, where sniggering at other people, once often socially inappropriate, now comes with less risk. But could it also be that we are becoming more empathic? The capacity to attune ourselves to other people’s suffering is highly prized today, and rightly so. Putting ourselves in another’s shoes impacts on our ability to lead others, to parent, to be a decent partner and friend. And the more important empathy becomes, the more obnoxious schadenfreude seems. Schadenfreude has been called empathy’s shadow, casting the two as fundamentally incompatible. According to psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen, psychopaths are not only detached from other people’s suffering but even enjoy it. Yet schadenfreude has its benefits – a quick win which alleviates inferiority or envy; a way of bonding over the failure of a smug colleague. But it is also a testament to our capacity for emotional flexibility, our ability to hold apparently contradictory thoughts and feelings in mind simultaneously.

Living in an age of schadenfreude, we fear that this emotion can lead us astray and we really need to think with a different perspective about what this much-maligned emotion does for us, and what it tells us about our relationships with ourselves and each other.

Source

Exquisite, evocative and judgemental, schadenfreude is an inherent flaw in the human psyche, but it is a flaw we all must face up to and learn to live with if we truly want to understand life in the modern world.

In My Hands Today…

Around the World in 50 Years: My Adventure to Every Country on Earth – Albert Podell

This is the inspiring story of an ordinary guy who achieved two great goals that others had told him were impossible. First, he set a record for the longest automobile journey ever made around the world, during the course of which he blasted his way out of minefields, survived a serious accident atop the Peak of Death, came within seconds of being lynched in Pakistan, and lost three of the five men who started with him, two to disease, one to the Vietcong.

After that-although it took him forty-seven more years-Albert Podell set another record by going to every country on Earth. He achieved this by surviving riots, revolutions, civil wars, trigger-happy child soldiers, voodoo priests, robbers, pickpockets, corrupt cops, and Cape buffalo. He went around, under, or through every kind of earthquake, cyclone, tsunami, volcanic eruption, snowstorm, and sandstorm that nature threw at him. He ate everything from old camel meat and rats to dung beetles and the brain of a live monkey. And he overcame attacks by crocodiles, hippos, anacondas, giant leeches, flying crabs-and several beautiful girlfriends who insisted that he stop this nonsense and marry them.