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Memories: The time I repeated Junior KG

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Do memories become stronger as you grow old? I wonder about this because these days I have been thinking about my childhood a lot. So here’s another memory for your reading pleasure plus for me to browse when I am old and probably senile.

A small background before I start – when I was young, I remember my dad telling me that our area was designed to be an educational hub when the city of Bombay was being expanded. So if you draw a circle of around 2 km diameter around my home, you will find many educational institutions like schools, colleges and even higher educational institutions. This includes my dad’s alma mater as well as the school me and my sister went to.

This memory is around the time I was about three years old. Since we had many schools in our vicinity, it’s quite usual to see students on their way to school in the mornings. Growing up, there were many people around my age group (give or take five years) in my building and when I was around three years old, they were all in school too. My mum was handling me and my sister who was a toddler around that time. We also had a fulltime mum’s helper named Maria who would come in the mornings and go back in the evenings and her main job was to help my mum look after two young children and play with me. Maria stayed with us for about two years and then left as she was getting married. By then I started formal school and my sister was also slightly older so my mum was able to manage without a helper.

When I used to see my friends go to school and also see all the children going to school from our home, I also decided that I wanted to go to school. However, the school my mum had decided for me would only take me in for Kindergarten 1 at the age of four which was still a year away. I have spoken more about the discussions and arguments my mum and grandmother had in deciding the school I would attend in a previous post.

I started throwing mega tantrums about going to school and used to create a ruckus at home because I wanted to go to school. Exasperated, my parents decided to send me to a school which was literally next door. This school would allow me to get into Kindergarten 1 or Junior KG as it was known in Bombay then. So I started going to school and was thrilled. I think I started school after the formal term had started because I don’t remember wearing the school’s uniform and used to wear my normal clothes to school. Most days, it used to be either my mum or Maria who would take me to school around 8:30 – 9 am and bring me back around lunchtime.

I must have been a model student there because the teacher who used teach me remembered me right around the time I was in college and would ask my mum about me when she met her on the streets. I used to be so touched when my mum used to tell me about her encounters with the teacher. Someone who in her career has taught thousands of students who pass through her class still remembers this one girl who was so determined to go to school, even though she was there in her class for less than a year. I actually have no memories about this teacher and don’t remember her name or even face.

So this is how I repeated Junior KG!

Memories: Grandmother Tales – 2

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I am the first grandchild in both my paternal and maternal families and hence have been quite pampered, atleast until my sister was born, around 18 months later.

They say children don’t really have memories until they are around 2 years old, and I am also not very sure if this is a genuine memory or the following memory is something that is there because it was told to me by people. This memory is of the time when my sister was born. I had an aunt who used to stay in New Delhi at that point in time as her husband was in the armed services and lived in a defence colony. My paternal grandparents took me with them when they went to visit her. I was, as I mentioned, around 18 months old at that time. I was extremely close to my paternal grandmother so it should not have been an issue for me to be away from my parents for a couple of months. My grandparents took me with them so my mother who was recruperating the birth of my sister at her mum’s place need not have the hassle of looking after an active toddler too.

It’s important in this story to note that the then Indian Prime Minister had declared a state of emergancy in the country during that period. Since we were living in a defence area, that place was highly regulated and strict. I have memories of Indira Gandhi coming on television nightly, probably talking about the situation in the country. For some reason I was very scared of her and this was excabated by them telling me that if I did something naughty, she will come and take me away! Imagine how terrified I was then, an 18-month old toddler, away from my parents for the very first time in my life. And I was in a situation where I could not even get to my mum if I wanted to until and unless I was taken back to Bombay.

This aunt of mine did not have any children and perhaps the way things worked back then was like this. But if something like this happened today, all hell would have broken loose. I also think women at that time were more conditioned to just accept what their elders tell them. I don’t condemn anyone in a similar situation, but it has to be a very excruciating situation before I would allow something like that to happen with me and my children.

My relationship with my paternal grandmother was very special. In tamil families, the oldest grandchild is given the paternal parent’s name (depending on gender), the next oldest, the maternal grandparents name, if of the same gender and so on. So by this naming convention, my grandmother’s name was bestowed upon me. But so that the younger generation don’t call a child by the same name as that of an elder, this was usually the formal name with another name being used at home and in casual settings. In mine and my sister’s case, though our grandmother’s names are mentioned in our birth certificates, it also includes our other name, which then became our formal name.

So in the light of the above paragraph, like I said, I had a very special connection with my paternal grandmother. She lived with us till I was around 6-7 years old, then moved to be with my paternal uncle who moved to another state for work as he was still unmarried then. I still remember all the stories she used to tell us and the yummy dishes she made for us. And when they would visit us during holidays, or we visited them when they decided to make Bangalore their retirement home, I would snuggle with her at night, because I missed her so much!

She passed away suddenly when I was 16 and I think I cried almost a week thinking about her. In fact, I had made plans to go alone to Bangalore after my grade 12 exams to stay an extra month with her before the rest of the family came, but that plan just remained that.

I really enjoyed writing this post, so much that I will share more childhood memories in the coming months. I should do this before I forget them, after all, oral memories much be written down before they are forgotten.

In case you want to know more about my paternal grandmother, here’s another post I wrote a few years back.

What are your memories about your grandmother? Do you have a favourite one?

Life’s Current Bucket List

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I keep thinking of life in and after May when I will be unemployed and I have decided that I am going to start keeping a list of things I want to do, something like a bucket list. These are all things that have been in the back burner for a while now while I was busy, but now that I will have the time, I plan to start working on them. Knowing me, I know I probably won’t do all, I am hoping I get to accomplish at least 75% of them….

The list, which may change as I go through them, is below and I am putting it here to make myself accountable. I’ve sorted them into groups so that it makes more sense to me. they are in no particular order, in fact they are as they occurred to me!

Self Improvement

Study: Aha, caught you on this right! While I do want to study based on my interests, what I meant by study is to actually do BB & GG’s coursework. With no income, I don’t have the money to spend on tuition, which is very expensive for secondary school. The hourly rate is in the rate of SGD 100 and with more subjects where they may need help, I definitely can’t afford this. So one of my goals is to start studying their syllabus and then teach them. It can’t be that difficult right? I mean I have a Masters degree and this is high school stuff! But whom I am kidding, I’m terrified and fear that I’ll mess up. But this is something I need to do and will do. Humanities should not be too difficult since I was a humanities student during college, it’s the maths and science subjects which terrify me!

Self-Learning: Speaking of studying, I keep getting emails from Coursera and I am quite tempted to take up some courses. I will do that as well as learn about photography from websites and videos. I’ve wanted to take photography courses for ages now and this is the right time to do it I think. I also want to learn how to put on makeup. My usual daily make-up is moisturizer, sunscreen, some CC powder and kohl pencil and a swipe of lipstick. I have no clue on how to apply other makeup and this seems to be a good time to learn. This is a fun thing to do I guess and also as GG starts growing, I am sure she will start wanting to experiment with makeup sooner than later and if I know something about it, it’ll make her learning so much simpler.

Investing: I have been fascinated with investing for a while now. I am student of Economics and Finance (though my studies seem very far away these days) and I plan to use this time to really study investing. I am going to study the Singapore stock market for a while and then based on what I have learned, I plan to invest a hypothetical SGD 10,000 on some stocks and track them for a few months. If I manage to get even 10% returns, I will do this with real money! May not be as much as my hypothetical money, but it will be a start.

Online Shopping: Another thing I’ve been trying to understand for a while now, but not gathered the courage to do much. I do buy online, but am always wondering if I have gotten the best deal? I did some work on e-commerce a few weeks back as part of my work and saw the power of the Chinese e-commerce sites, especially Tabao. So I want to research these sites and see if it’s really that worth it and try to do some online shopping!

Writing: I’ve always written and I think one of my long established dream is to be a published author. I’ve never really taken steps to do this and this will be the time I actually do something about it. My interest is in books and stories for children and I want to write some stories and send it to a publisher to see if they are good enough. I don’t have any creative writing background and so will also use this time to research on this – if there are some online courses, I am going to take them, or even if I can find something in my local universities. I also want to research and write some decent articles for this blog.

Work: I am also contemplating starting something on my own – there was an article on the Straits Times this weekend on freelance work and to me it seemed like a sign. I’ve signed up in one of the freelance sites I’ve used in this company before. While unemployed, I need to see if this will be to generate some income.

Exercise and eat well: My perennial favourite! I want to start walking again and this time I have a good reason – to beat my diabetes once and for all! I want to start walking again on a regular basis and eventually move to running. This time I plan to see if this works for me or no (I’ve tried running before but couldn’t keep it up) as well as eat well and avoid mindless snacking. I am also very seriously planning to go without sugar. I’ve seen some videos on what sugar does to you and this is quite tempting. It will be easier if everyone does it together, so I am going to have to brainwash my family to be in it too!

Home Improvement

Organise: Do a thorough clean-up and organizing of the house. I have tons of ideas and want to get rid of stuff (I am a certified pack-rat) as well as do some organizing projects.I plan to split this room by room over a period of time so that it does not get too overwhelming and I lose steam before I finish.

Housekeeping: I’ve never been a great housekeeper, preferring to do all the other, wonderful things you can do with your time. I’ve pretty much always relied on outside help to do things I don’t like to do and this is what I plan to change this time around. I plan to research the best way to clean my home and also figure out the best way to schedule my cleaning, such that with an initial effort but not much after that, the house is in good condition all the time. I also want to do work I don’t like and get those out of the way. I have a very low ‘icky factor’ and this is something I want to work on.

Food: My cooking in the last few years has been mundane and routine. Once R leaves, this is another area where I want to improve in. R’s repertoire is quite limited and the children and S get quite tired with the same old dishes week after week. So I want to plan menus where I can do international cuisine, both which can be taken to school as lunches as well as slightly more elaborate ones for weekends and dinners. While I am decent cook, Indian cooking does not really leave itself to much baking skills. Add to the fact that we are vegetarians, so my baking skills are really sub-par. I want to use this time to really start baking, not only making cakes and cupcakes, but also things like quiches and scones.

So there you have it! A ton of projects to do. And since I have committed it to doing it here, I really hope this will help me be accountable to myself. Let’s see what I can accomplish and how long!

Growing up in Mumbai

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Matunga – for any Tambrahm in Mumbai, especially those of a certain age, the very word evokes the feel of home. Sometimes called ‘Mini Madras’, Matunga in what would be some where in the centre of what is the original city (as opposed to the suburbs) was probably the first place the initial immigrants, young, eager, bright and wide-eyed, came to from Dadar station when their trains from the south arrived in Mumbai all ready to conquer the world, with an introduction to perhaps, if they are lucky, to a relative (distant or otherwise), or maybe someone from the same village they belonged to, or even a relative’s relative!

While I am not sure if this is 100% accurate, from what I’ve heard from my parents and grandparents, most young Tamil Brahmin boys and men started arriving in Mumbai (or Bombay as it was called then) somewhere in the early forties, some years before India would finally throw off the yoke of British dominance and become independent.

Both sets of my grandparents arrived in Bombay somewhere in the early to mid-forties, luckier than most as both my grandfathers had an older brother already settled in the city, in Matunga as it were! If I were to probably measure the distance my paternal and maternal grandparents live away from each other, when they first arrived in the city, it should probably be a maximum of 1 km.

Matunga is the heart of the Tamil Brahmin community in Bombay and as such the roads are filled with the sights and sounds of temple bells and the smells of filter coffee and delicious food!

Temples like Bhajana Samaj, Astika Samaj and Sankara Math, shops like Mysore Concerns, Giri Stores and the row of flower sellers in the road outside the post office along with the vegetable sellers who have carts close-by are all hallmarks of the Tamil Brahmin community in Matunga! Who can forget the Ram Navami and Navaratri celebrations in Bhajana Samaj, the Diwali sweets that always were sold in the hall in Sankara Matt, the banana leaf sold by the vegetable vendors during any major festival, the gaggle of priests, outside the temples, the sound of the temple bells and sugarcane stalks just before Pongal?

When their families grew, both sets of my grandparents moved from their family homes and out of Matunga. But they both didn’t’ pull the umbilical cord too much and move far away. Both of them moved another kilometer away from Matunga in opposite directions actually, and that was where my parents were brought up.

So growing up, we lived in another area which was a fifteen minute walk from Matunga, which was in the periphery of our lives, without actually living there. We used to go to Matunga for literally everything and my mum still goes there atleast two to three times a week for her weekly ‘fix’. This area in Bombay is the lifeline for the community and even today when other mini Matungas have sprung up across the city and suburbs – like Chembur, Chedda Nagar, Bangur Nagar, Mulund, Dombivili, Vashi, etc you can still people who have moved away from Matunga come here on weekends to catch-up with family and friends, eat at childhood haunts and buy essentials which you don’t get anywhere else in the city.

Growing up, there was always this disconnect – we were Tamilians, but without the accent which is usually caricatured in movies and television and always had questions on why we needed to wear a bindi on our forehead or flowers in our hair. In my and my sister’s case, it was compounded by the fact we didn’t go to the school that most of our Brahmin friends and relatives went to (which was a school run by a Tamil trust where the language was taught as a second language)!

Growing up also we were quite insular. I would say this with the benefit of hindsight. Every Tamilan I knew at that point in time was a Brahmin – either from one of the districts of Tamil Nadu or from Palakkad (from Kerala who are called Kerala Iyers or Palakkad Brahmins). Where we stayed, while not in Matunga, was in fact another Tamil conclave, with almost all the 30-40 buildings in the area having a sizeable Tambrahm population each. My building had 19 flats and with the exception of 2-3, every flat was a Tambrahm flat! This was pretty much the case (the percentages being slightly more or less, with some exceptions) for the other buildings in the street I lived in. Even in school, my friends who were Tamil were Brahmins. In fact, coming to Singapore with its vast Tamil population was actually a culture shock to me as I had never seen so many people from so many Tamil communities and the temples were the biggest shock – I had not heard of all the different Gods that were worshipped there (all the temples I visited prior to this were my community temples or the other temples in Mumbai)

Since most of the community emigrated to Bombay around 60-80 years back, the dialect of Tamil, we speak is completely different from what is spoken by the community in places like Chennai and Singapore. Bombay Tambrahms have retained the words and cadence of their speech from all those years while communities in Singapore and Chennai have adopted more of the local language. So the Tamil we speak may actually seem strange to those who don’t speak like this! S used to tell me that they used to be made fun of in school when they spoke Brahmin Tamil, which is why his Tamil sounds more like how it is in movies while mine is the one they make fun of in movies!

Writing this post has made me so nostalgic. I think the next time I go to Mumbai, I will try and capture all the sights and sounds of the city so that every time I miss Mumbai, I have these to see and hear! Also this post has made me realise I need to pen down more about my life, so that GG and BB know what that was like….

Back Again!

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I’ve been missing from this, my online diary for a while.

The biggest reason is that I am a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom). This was somthing I had been wanting to do for a while, but didn’t really follow through. I’ve been a SAHM for about 3 months now and life has taken a 360 degree turn. I was forced to leave my previous job (which I did with joy) because of issues with my domestic helper. I have sent her off and am maidless now.

It’s taken me this much time to sort out my head and so I’ll blog more often now. Hopefully have more recipes and also stories…..