Author Archives: memoriesandsuch

Mumbai Memories: The Ambi Phenomenon

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All his life, even today in fact, my father has been called ‘Ambi’ by his family and neighbours. So much so that when I was younger, I used to think this was his name. Why? In Tamil Brahmin culture, the term ‘Ambi’ has traditionally been used to refer to the oldest son in a family, a title that carries with it a sense of affection and respect.

The Tamil Brahmin community is known for its rich cultural heritage and adherence to traditional practices. The term ‘Ambi’ likely derives from the word “Amba,” which means mother or goddess in Sanskrit, signifying a connection to nurturing and familial roles. In many families, the firstborn son would be affectionately called ‘Ambi,’ symbolising his position as the primary heir and caretaker within the family unit.

Historically, Tamil Brahmin families have followed strict naming conventions. The firstborn son is often named after his paternal grandfather, while subsequent children may receive names based on familial traditions or characteristics. This practice not only preserves lineage but also reinforces social structures within the community.

The title ‘Ambi’ has implications beyond mere nomenclature; it embodies a set of expectations and responsibilities. As the eldest son, the Ambi is often seen as a leader within the family. He is expected to uphold family traditions, participate in religious rituals, and act as a mediator during disputes. This role is particularly significant in joint family systems common among Tamil Brahmins, where multiple generations live together under one roof.

In many households, the Ambi is also viewed as a bridge between the older and younger generations. He often helps younger siblings navigate societal expectations while maintaining respect for traditional values. This dynamic fosters a sense of unity within families, as the Ambi becomes a central figure around whom family gatherings revolve.

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My father, though born to the middle son, was the oldest son of his generation. There were girls born before him, but none of his uncles or aunts had any sons until he was born. So he was the designated ‘Ambi’ in his family. Not only did his extended family call him Ambi, but he was also known as Ambi to the tambram residents in our building. Unfortunately, this practice is now hardly being used. If it were, both S and BB would also be Ambis as they both are the oldest boys in their generation.

The cultural significance of ‘Ambi’ extends into various facets of Tamil Brahmin life. The title signifies love and respect from both parents and relatives. It is not uncommon for children to refer to their uncles or older male relatives as ‘Ambi,’ emphasising the term’s affectionate connotation. Being an Ambi can enhance one’s status among peers within social gatherings. It often comes with expectations of leadership in community events or family functions. The name carries with it a sense of legacy. Many families have multiple generations with members named Ambi or variations thereof (like Chinnambi for younger siblings), showcasing how this tradition persists through time.

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Today, with increasing numbers of nuclear families replacing joint family systems, the role of an Ambi may hold a different weight than it once did. However, many still find comfort in these traditional titles as they navigate their identities in a rapidly changing world.

The phenomenon of calling the eldest boy ‘Ambi’ in Tamil Brahmin families encapsulates much more than just a name; it represents deep-rooted cultural values that emphasise respect, responsibility, and familial unity. While modern influences may alter its usage or significance over time, the essence of what it means to be an Ambi remains an integral part of Tamil Brahmin identity.

For future generations, it will be interesting to see how this tradition adapts while still honouring its historical roots. The enduring affection associated with ‘Ambi’ serves as a reminder of the importance of family ties and cultural heritage in shaping individual identities within this vibrant community.

2025 Week 12 Update

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Today’s quote is from one of my favourite authors, one whom I read when I was in school, Louisa May Alcott. An American novelist, poet, and reformist, Alcott is best known for her classic novel, Little Women. Alcott worked as a nurse during the Civil War and wrote stories to support her family. Her works, often inspired by her own life, emphasise family values, resilience, and female empowerment. She was also an advocate for women’s rights and abolitionism, leaving behind a literary legacy that continues to inspire readers worldwide.

Alcott’s quote serves as a guiding principle for a meaningful and well-balanced life. It highlights the importance of surrounding oneself with positivity, continuous learning, appreciation for life, and self-care. Our thoughts, attitudes, and personal growth are often shaped by our relationships. Positive, kind, and supportive individuals encourage us to become the best versions of ourselves, while toxic influences can hinder our growth. Alcott suggests that choosing uplifting and virtuous companions helps cultivate a life filled with joy, wisdom, and integrity.

Books serve as windows to new perspectives, knowledge, and emotional depth. Reading well-written, insightful, and inspiring works expands the mind, nurtures empathy, and strengthens one’s sense of identity and purpose. For Alcott, who was both an avid reader and a writer, good books were not just entertainment but a means of self-improvement and enlightenment. The quote also encourages one to appreciate life’s beauty and find joy in meaningful, simple pleasures. Whether it is art, nature, kindness, or creativity, loving what is good fosters gratitude and contentment. This aligns with Alcott’s belief in living a rich, fulfilling life not through material wealth but through experiences and values.

The quote also emphasises the importance of both physical and spiritual well-being. A healthy body supports a healthy mind, and taking care of oneself through exercise, rest, and nourishment leads to a balanced life. Similarly, cultivating the soul through kindness, compassion, faith, or introspection ensures that personal growth is not just external but deeply rooted in character and values. Overall, Alcott’s quote is a timeless piece of wisdom, reminding us that a truly fulfilling life is built upon meaningful relationships, intellectual and personal growth, appreciation for life’s goodness, and a commitment to self-care.

I took this week easy. I had a bunch of things on my to-do list that kept getting pushed to the next week because of my work and writing commitments, so I thought I should take a week or two off to tick off items from my long list. The good news is that I managed to get quite a few items off the list. The coming week will also be quieter as I try and clear more items so that when April rolls in, I have the bandwidth and motivation to tackle my writing head-on.

GG has been very busy and stressed this week because of project submissions, exams, and tests. She finally finished a bunch of those but has her end-of-semester exams to look forward to in early April. GG is busy with his work in camp, and his life flows on as usual. I have been nagging him for the past few weeks to take more interest in life after national service, but so far, all this has fallen on deaf ears!

That’s all from me this week! Stay positive and let the brightness of spring coat your soul!

In My Hands Today…

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Magic Pill: The Extraordinary Benefits and Disturbing Risks of the New Weight-Loss Drugs – Johann Hari

The bestselling author of Lost Connections and Stolen Focus offers a revelatory look at the drugs upending weight loss as we knew it—from his personal experience on Ozempic to what these drugs mean for our society’s deeply dysfunctional relationship with food, weight, and our bodies.

In January 2023, bestselling author Johann Hari started to inject himself once a week with Ozempic, the diabetes drug that produces significant weight loss. He wasn’t alone—credible predictions suggest that in two years, a quarter of the U.S. population will be taking this class of drug.

Proponents say that this is a biological solution to a biological problem. While 95 percent of diets fail, the average person taking one of the new drugs will lose a quarter of their body weight in six months, and keep it off for as long as they take it. Here is a moment of liberation from an illness that massively increases your chances of diabetes, dementia, and cancer, and causes 10 percent of all deaths.

Still, Hari was wildly conflicted. The massive rise in obesity rates around the world in the last half century didn’t happen because something went wrong with human biology. We began to eat food designed to be maximally addictive. We built cities that are impossible to walk or bike around. We became much more stressed, making us seek out more comfort snacks.

From this perspective, the new weight loss drugs arrive at a moment of madness. We built a food system that poisons us, then decided en masse to inject ourselves with a different potential poison that puts us off all food.

A personal journey through weight loss combined with scientific evidence from experts, Magic Pill explores, as only Hari can, questions How did we get to this point? What does it reveal about our society that we couldn’t solve this problem socially, and instead turned to potentially risky pharmaceutical solutions? And will this free us from social pressure to conform to an ideal body type—or make that pressure even more dangerously intense?

Travel Bucket List: Nepal Part 11

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Continuing on learning more about Pokhara…

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Situated at an altitude of 3210 m, Poon Hill is a popular short trekking destination, offering an wonderful views of sunrises and sunsets. Most trekkers hike here from the village of Ghorepani to enjoy the spectacular view of Annapurna and Dhaulagiri ranges. The terrain is comparatively easier and leads to the Annapurna Mountain Ranges. The trekking trail covered with rhododendron forest, an amazing landscape, is perfect for modest trekkers. From the top of the hill, one can get a fabulous view of the Gangapurna, Annapurna I, Annapurna South, the Dhaulagiri, and the Hiunchuli Mountains.

The most preferred and famous trek in the region is the Ghorepani-Poon Hill-Ghandruk trek. It begins at Nayapul which is about 44 kilometres away from Pokhara and goes through Ulleri, Ghorepani and Ghandruk via the uneven terrain. The mountainous trails are traversed by foot through the rhododendron forests and regions inhabited by the Gurangs and the Magars. As the trek progresses, one would come across the terraces used for cultivating rice and the enchanting waterfalls in the regions. The hilltop, at 3210 metres above sea level, is the best place to get a stunning view of the Himalayan Peaks. If only Poon hill is to be explored, one can be assured that this is an easy level of trekking in the region. The best time to go on a trek on the Poon Hill is between March and May and between September and November.

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At an elevation of 3210 metres above sea level, Ghorepani Hill is the most preferred trekking trail in Nepal. Also known as Nepal’s classic Himalaya Trek, it has been an important attraction with slightly elaborate treks that last for little over a week and begin at Pokhara and pass through Ghorepani, and some even continue to the Poon Hill. The trail consists of the ancient Trans-Himalayan salt trade route and runs through regions of paddy fields, forests, gorges and waterfalls. On a clear sunny day, the bright blue skies and the white cotton-like clouds are a treat to watch above the snow-laden mountain peaks. Local shepherds get their sheep to graze on the hill slopes every day, and there is a high chance that trekkers meet herds of sheep while passing by.

The rhododendron forests, the stone passages and stairs add to the level of difficulty but also make the activity more exciting. As one climbs through the region, they would notice they are actually trekking through the villages located on the hill slopes. If a break is required, feel free to stop by at one of these villages and interact with the lovely people before enjoying the mind-stirring view from the top of the Ghorepani Hill.

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The city of Pokhara can be divided in two: the charming Lakeside Pokhara, and the Old City. The Lakeside part offers many tourist attractions and beautiful views, while the Old City is the city’s commercial hub. The Lakeside is further divided into the North and the Southside and is is named as it surrounds the Phewa Lake or Phewa Tal, a gorgeous freshwater lake which is eerily similar to a mirror! The lake gained popularity for its breathtaking reflection of the blue skies and the towering Mt. Machhapuchhre of the Annapurna range.

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Built after World War II by Buddhist monks from the Nipponzan Myohoji organisation of Japan, the towering World Peace Pagoda stands on a ledge overlooking Phewa Lake. This destination can be reached by rowing on the Phewa Tal, and trekking for about an hour on the other side. The views are breathtakingly beautiful, and the serenity is bound to make one contemplate and meditate. Revered as the holiest Hindu shrine in Pokhara, the beautiful Varahi Mandir temple is located right in the middle of Phewa Lake, on a small island. One can access the temple by rowboat from Varahi Ghat and pay their respects to the fierce Varahi, who is known to grant all wishes. The Devi’s Falls is a special waterfall because half of it is underground. On the surface, it is a small stream which swells during the monsoon, but the water leads into an underground tunnel, surfacing at the Gupteshwor Mahadev Cave near the World Peace Pagoda. Patale Chhango is the actual name of this waterfall, but it is locally known as Devi’s Falls. Head over there and discover the local lore of how the waterfall got its name!

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The Gurkha Museum, located near Mahendra Pul, chronicles the valiant achievements of the Gurkha regiment and has an interactive display as well. The AV show details the nuances of the regiment, and the exhibits contain many medals, artefacts and weapons used. There is also a wall of fame, naming prominent Gurkha soldiers. The museum is open daily from 8:30 am to 4:30 pm and foreigners need to pay NPR 200, while SAARC citizens pay NPR 100 and a camera can cost you NPR 20 to take inside. The International Mountain Museum is devoted to the Himalayas and her explorers. Containing the mountain scaling equipment of yore, champion trekkers and other exciting details, the museum also holds exhibits of the unique flora and fauna of the Himalayas. Outside, visitoes can try their luck at mountain climbing, by trying to scale a replica of Mt Manaslu. The museum is open from 9 am to 5 pm and foreigners need to pay NPR 400, while SAARC citizens pay NPR 200 and Nepalis need to pay NPR 80. A garden tour will set one back by NPR 20.

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Pokhara is one of the most popular paragliding destinations in the world. One can take off at Sarangkot, near Lakeside where one can find most paragliding companies with very competitive prices. Solo and tandem flights can be taken all year round in conducive weather. Cost for a solo flight is USD 65 while a tandem flight will cost between USD 85 to USD 150 and lessons can be taken at USD 390.

As Lakeside Pokhara is the starting point for trekkers attempting to scale the Annapurna range, this is a welcome opportunity to meet like-minded people and trek with them. October to December is the best time to trek the Annapurna Circuit, which is a famous route. A minimum of three days is required to cover at least a part of this route – ideally, it takes 21 days to complete. One will need to have a permit card from the Annapurna Conservation Area Project, which costs NPR 2000, before one can attempt this route. Guided tours start from USD 25.

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There are two rivers one can raft on near Lakeside, which are the Seti and Narayani. Many agencies near the rivers offer kayaking options, starting at USD 40 for a single trip. One can take a kayak from the Narayani River all the way to Chitwan National Park and most agencies rent all kayaking equipment for a price. One can also hire a Doonga, a brightly painted boat, to take them around the picturesque Phewa Lake.

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Pokhara Valley’s second largest lake, Begnas Lake is a popular freshwater lake with beautiful natural surroundings. On a clear day, at the foothills of the Himalayas, the lake waters reflect the surrounding mountain ranges. One may choose to take a leisurely stroll on the banks or rest. The lake is also the third-largest lake in Nepal. Begnas, the twin of Rupa Tal, is the largest of the two situated to the south-east of the valley. A dam, Khudi Khola, built on the western stream regulates the level of the lake water providing enough for irrigation purposes in all the seasons other than the monsoons. The swamps around the lake have been converted into lush green paddy fields, and some sections of the water body are used for fish farming. The waters from the lake help the locals earn a major chunk of their livelihood. One may go for a long boat ride or go paddling solo in the calm waters. The lake has several resorts and guesthouses where tourists can stay for as long as they want and breathe in the freshness in the air and enjoy the stunning view of the valley and the Begnas Tal.

Rupa Tal is the only freshwater lake of Nepal and is located at an altitude of 600 m. The beautiful lake is famous for the variety of flora and fauna that it supports and has boating facilities available. One can even engage in fishing activities.

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The second largest lake in Nepal, Phewa Lake is a semi-natural freshwater lake enveloped by Rani Ban or the Queen’s Forest and stunning reflections of the Annapurna and Dhaulagiri mountain ranges in the clear lake waters. It is also a perfect place to experience the ever so glorious Himalayan sunrises. One can hire a colourful boat called doonga and sail through the lake for a relaxing ride. It has some religious significance too as it is known for the sacred Tal Barahi Temple located on an island in the lake. Baidam or lakeside of Pokhara on the eastern part has some amazing lodges, restaurants, cafes and bookshops. The densely forested region around the lake has thrilling trails that lead up to higher grounds.

Phewa Lake is flocked by tourists, nature lovers and photographers. One may choose to rent a canoe or a paddleboat for NPR 500 approximately to explore and capture the scenic beauty to their heart’s content as they sail through the serene waters. When tired, a stop at the Tal Barahi Temple just to absorb the divine vibe or to offer prayers to the Goddess before setting sail ahead is quite recommended. There are also exciting trails in the thick forests surrounding the Lake that make it a perfect destination for nature walks, bird watching and treks. The forests house a variety of flora and fauna that one can explore while they rest on the shore in between their boat rides. One of these trails leads up to the World Peace Pagoda from where one can enjoy a splendid view of the lake and the mountain ranges. If the natural light is right, one may even see the reflection of the mountain peaks in the water.

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The Tal Barahi Temple is located in the middle of Phewa Lake surrounded by nature and tranquillity. It is a sacred shrine dedicated to Goddess Durga who is considered to be the protector of all Gods and a symbol of Shakti/Strength. Barahi means Boar, an avatar which Goddess Durga manifested, also called Ajima, to kill the demons with her tusks. According to a legend, the deity came to visit the place and was so captivated by its natural beauty and the people that she decided to reside here. The temple was built in 1864 by the first Shah King of Kaski, King Kulmandhan Shah, who was an ardent devotee of Goddess Durga. The beautiful shrine has two-storey traditional pagoda-style architecture made of stone and wood and stands strong on an island in the lake which was formed after the dam was built. The temple is open daily between 9 am and 5 pm and the best time to visit the temple is between September and May.

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Davis’ Fall is an extraordinary waterfall which creates a 500 feet long underground tunnel as it reaches its bottom. This tunnel has brought the fall its name, Patale Chango in the Nepalese language, which means underground waterfall. Fed by the Phewa Lake Dam, the waterfall is surrounded by abundant flora. A landmark of Pokhara, Devi’s waterfall is a must-visit when in Nepal. The fall marks the point where the Pardi Khola stream disappears underground and leaves no clue of its existence. When the monsoons are at full power, the splashes of water against the boulders create a terrific sight.

On July 31, 1961, a Swiss couple named Davis made their visit here. While swimming in its waters, the overflow pushed the woman in a sinkhole where she drowned. Her body was recovered after three days. It was at her father’s request that the fall was named Davi’s Fall. Some people even say that it was not only the woman who drowned but also her husband. The fall got a local reference by the name of Devi’s Falls, hence the name by which it is mostly known.

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As the name suggests, Gupteshwor Mahadev is a the name suggests is a a cave beneath the ground that acts as the source via which the fall’s water passes after exiting the tunnel. The ancient cave beside the fall is known for its unique designs. People tend to forget the way through which they enter; hence, one should be careful and use one’s presence of mind while in the cave. Visitors usually try impressing their fortune by throwing or placing a coin at the deity’s statue in the luck pond. Devil’s Fall is open daily from 5 am to 7 pm.

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Shanti Stupa, also known as the Peace Pagoda, is a stunning monument located on the Anadu Hill overlooking the Phewa Lake with the charming Annapurna Mountain range in the backdrop. One can either cycle through one of the tracks that lead to the top of the hill, take the road to the Stupa, or enjoy a drive through the scenic location. The surroundings have several trekking trails to cross to Phewa Lake and explore the Himalayas. It is a popular tourist attraction, striking landmark, or pleasant pit stop for intrepid climbers. The picturesque beauty is quite captivating, and the tranquil vibe of the monument is worth a visit for those seeking it.

The pristine white coloured monument is a classic example of the traditional pagoda style of architecture. The striking colour helps in spotting the pagoda from metres away. This is the first peace pagoda in Nepal and was built by a Nipponzan Myohoji monk named Morioko Sonin. The spectacular symbol of peace is the 71st peace pagoda in the world standing 115 feet tall and having a diameter of 344 feet. Visitors need to climb a flight of stairs to reach the top of the monument. There are two tiers to the structure with separate passages to circumambulate. It houses relics and four striking statues of Lord Buddha that represent significant events in his life. These statues were received as souvenirs from different countries.

The four striking statues of Gautama Buddha representing important milestones in Lord Buddha’s life are installed on the second tier of Shanti Stupa. These four figures gifted by four countries include the Dharmachakra Mudra which was gifted by Japan, Kushinagar from Thailand, Bodh Gaya from Sri Lanka and Lumbini from Nepal. On the very top of this arrangement is the pinnacle, also called gajur, that holds the crystal stone from Sri Lanka. This stone symbolises grace and intellect. Below the gajur is the Dharmachakra signifying the wheel of life, the teachings of Lord Buddha and Dharma. A prayer hall called the Dhamma Hall is located near the Shanti Stupa that houses the statues of Lord Buddha and where rituals and poojas are performed on auspicious days by the devotees. One may choose to explore this section of the Pagoda to get a glimpse into the regional culture. The stupa can be visited daily between 8 am and 8 pm.

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The ancient Bindhyabasini Temple stands on top of a small hill. This temple is dedicated to Goddess Durga, an incarnation of Devi Parvati. The Goddess worshipped is in the form of a Shaligram. According to a local legend, King Siddhi Narayan Shah bought the idol from Bindhyachal in India. The Gopteshwar Mahadev Mandir is a cave temple dedicated to Lord Shiva near the place where Seti River emerges from underground. A self-emerging Shiva Lingam was found in the 3 km long cave during the 16th century. Apart from the temple, the long, deep and dark cave offer an excellent opportunity to explore the natural wonders in its truest form. The 200-year-old Bhimsen Temple is dedicated to the Newari God of trade and commerce. It is said to be the oldest temple in the city and it replicates the pagoda style of architecture. The exterior of the temple is covered with intricate erotic carvings and exquisite woodcarvings on doors, windows, pillars and struts.

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The Tal Barahi Temple, also known as Lake Temple or Varahi Temple, is a two-story pagoda temple on a small island on Phewa Lake. Dedicated to Goddess Varahi, who is an incarnation of Goddess Durga, both Hindu and Buddhist followers visit here for worship. It is believed that the temple was built by King Kulmandhan Shah because of a dream that he saw. Goddess Varahi is an avatar of Goddess Durga who is believed to be the symbol of strength or Shakti. Varahi or Barahi means a boar in Nepali and it is the form which was taken by Goddess Durga to kill the destructive demons. She is believed to have fought the mighty demons with her tusks and killed them all. After the fight, she is believed to have visited the Pokhara Valley and found it so enticing that she wanted to stay there. Ever since, this powerful form of Goddess Durga has been an important deity for the Hindu community in Nepal. Locals also state that the temple was in fact, built by an ardent worshipper of Goddess Varahi, King Kulmandhan Shah of the Shah Dynasty. It was made during his resign in 1864, and he chose the spot on an island in the middle of Phewa Lake for the temple to be built. The island was actually formed after the inflow of water to Phewa Lake was controlled by a dam built nearby. The main shrine set has traditional pagoda-type architecture, mostly made of wood, bricks, and stone, and has a premise large enough to accommodate a number of devotees. The premise also has decent seats where one can sit for a moment before returning to the city. When visiting Phewa Lake, sailing to the island and exploring the temple are highly recommended. Shree Gaden Dhargay Ling Monastery is a Tibetan Buddhist Monastery established to spread Buddhist teachings and Tibetan influence in the country.

Next week, we continue exploring Nepal’s tourism city

In My Hands Today…

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She Thinks Like a Boss: Leadership—9 Essential Skills for New Female Leaders in Business and the Workplace – Jemma Roedel

Discover how to become an effective woman in leadership — even if you’re shy, avoid conflict at all costs, or lack confidence.

Are you tired of seeing men at work get promoted, be given better assignments, and enjoy pay raises even though you know your skills and results are just as good, if not better?

Do you find it difficult to express yourself during work meetings without being hostile or apologetic?

Perhaps you’re tired of coming home feeling frustrated because you didn’t speak up at the meeting, or maybe you feel as though, no matter what you try, people just walk all over you.

You know that there must be another way. And you’re right. But don’t help is at hand. In an incredibly male-dominated world, it’s crucial — now more than ever — to develop the necessary skills to become an effective leader and start demanding what you deserve.

Luckily, it’s easier than you think. You don’t have to buy into the self-help industry, which wastes your time, resources and energy on costly and often condescending life coaches and counselling sessions. All you need are easy, proven skills and traits that will help you gradually develop your self-esteem, sharpen your trust, and hone your boundary-setting and communication skills.

If you’re someone then Jemma Roedel can help you. Many people don’t understand that there’s a lot more to being a leader than just managing people. The first step to thinking like a boss is having the insight and understanding that pioneering successful women have — and using it to take constructive action. In She Thinks Like a Boss, here’s just a fraction of what you will, and much more.

Even if you feel uncomfortable or scared to face the issues that being a great leader brings, the key is to dive straight in. In She Thinks Like a Boss, you will be given specific and practical techniques to help you gradually overcome the problems you’re facing.